Author's Note: I posted this story a few years ago under my old pen name, but later deleted it. Now I'm posting it again.
"What did you just do to me?" Harry asked after he swallowed the last of the potion. He thought about vomiting it up, but who knows how these three would react to that? It might even make things worse.
"That should be fairly obvious for a Ravenclaw," Hermione said. "What do dragons, trolls, and giants have in common?"
"You sound like that blood knocker at the entrance to the common room," Harry snapped. "I don't know... they are all magical creatures that are hard to kill."
"Yes, but why are they hard to kill?" Padma asked calmly.
It infuriated him that they were treating this whole situation like a school lesson, but they had the wands so they made the rules. Or at least they did until his Charisma started working again. "They all have spell-resistant skin? That is impossible—not even you three could come up with something like that."
"Wrong," Su said with a mischievous grin. "Brewing the base potion we added the blood to was a brilliant piece of work, if I do say so myself. It was our summer project, and we had to scour magical libraries on three separate continents to figure out how to do it."
"We began our research at Hogwarts last year, and we each found important pieces of information in India, China, and Africa," Hermione pointed out like a good swot. "I myself had to seek out the Nundu hunters in Tanzania to find out how they..."
"I get the idea," Harry growled. "Now that I know what that potion was, can you please tell me why you felt the need to pour it down my throat without asking for my permission first?"
"We couldn't take the risk that you would reject our help. You're just too important to us, and to the larger magical world," Padma explained.
When he heard those words Harry had the most painful experience of déjà vu in his entire life. That was almost the same thing his Aunt Petunia had said before she committed suicide. But how could this be happening again? His powers were supposed to be under control thanks to the runes that were cut into his bones, so why were they suddenly acting insane?
Wait... if they had been planning this for months than the change in their behavior wasn't new. Harry then remembered the day Su gave him his first hand job in the shower after he killed the basilisk. Of course. He had gone through puberty, and the changes in his body were affecting his magic, which in turn was affecting the witches around him.
For instance Tonks would've never agreed to become his wanking buddy if she had been in her right state of mind. And Amelia Bones—who after all was the Head of Magical Law Enforcement—would have quickly put a stop to the illegal activities that he and Cissy had been up to over the past few months. How many other witches were being influenced by his Charisma now that it was out of control again, and what could he do about it?
"Listen Potter, we did what we had to do, and we're not going to apologize for it," Su said. "So let's skip this whole stupid argument, and get on with the important stuff."
Harry was almost afraid to ask. "What is the important stuff?"
"Field testing," Su said as she raised her wand and cursed him. Hermione and Padma already had their quills and parchment out, and they looked eager to begin documenting the magical properties of his new skin.
Over the next few hours as the Hogwarts Express made its way north, Harry was subjected to dozens of different curses and spells. The blood ritual the witches had come up with was by no means a cure-all, but it was effective in blocking minor forms of magic and minimizing the more powerful curses. For instance a Stunner no longer rendered Harry unconscious, but instead caused him a great deal of pain. He had to admit that this was a major improvement for a wizard who couldn't cast a Shield Charm if his life depended on it.
The field testing was so successful that for a time he forgot that he was furious with Su, Padma, and Hermione. In truth they were just as much victims of his magical condition as he was. But things couldn't go on like this, or the situation would just get worse. Who knows that kind of dangerous scheme the love-crazed trio might come up with next? It was during the Welcoming Feast that a solution finally came to him.
"I can't believe that Professor Vector married Professor Snape," Hermione said in a tone of absolute horror. "Why would such a brilliant witch do something like that?"
"She's pregnant," Su replied. "What, you don't believe me Granger? I will bet you a thousand galleons she gives birth before Valentine's Day."
"The new DADA Professor was a close friend of my parents," Harry told the others at he stared up at the High Table. Then he added in a whisper: "Lupin is a werewolf."
"What?" Padma yelled.
"Keep your voice down!" Su hissed. "Harry, not even Headmaster Dumbledore would be arrogant enough to hire a werewolf to teach at Hogwarts after Fenrir Greyback murdered five people at the Ministry of Magic this summer. You must be mistaken."
"No, I'm not. My father learned about Lupin's condition during his first year at Hogwarts. He told my mother, and she told my Aunt Petunia about it in one of her letters," Harry explained. "I bet he's here because Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban. Black was another one of my father's close friends before he became a Death Eater and sold them out to Voldemort."
Sirius Black was a bit of a sore point with Amelia. When she had sent Mad-Eye Moody to Azkaban to eliminate the Death Eaters the old Auror had missed one of Voldemort's top henchmen. Mad-Eye swore to Amelia that Black wasn't in his cell that night, and that no one was able to find him either. The next day he mysteriously reappeared, but by then security had been too tight to get rid of the traitor. As a result of this screw-up, Black had lived long enough to find a way to escape from the island prison a few weeks ago.
"We have to tell the Ministry of Magic," Hermione said. "We can't have a werewolf teaching at a school full of children."
"We aren't going to do a bloody thing about Professor Lupin," Harry said coldly. After that stunt they pulled on the Hogwarts Express the witches needed to be reminded who was the real leader of their group. "This kind of information will be very useful if we need some leverage on Dumbledore later in the year."
"Harry Potter, you can not go around blackmailing the Headmaster of Hogwarts," Hermione whispered.
"Just watch me. We will discuss this later on if you want, but now I have to go see Minerva," Harry said as the Welcoming Feast came to an end.
"Mr Potter, I was planning on speaking to you tonight," the Deputy Headmistress said when she saw him approaching the High Table. "If you would follow me back to my office. It would be best if we had this conversation in private."
"Alright, this is an unpleasant topic, so I will get straight to the point," Minerva said as she sat down at her desk a few minutes later. "Your current sleeping arrangements are no longer tolerable. For the last two years Professor Flitwick has been willing to look the other way when you slept in the girl's room, but last year the house-elves brought me some very disturbing evidence in the form of heavily stained bed sheets."
"That's not surprising. You have no idea how much those three Ravenclaws enjoy their experiments. They were conducting several on me each day—mostly varying the speed of their stokes and the pressure applied to my..."
"Mr Potter! That sort of behavior is unacceptable here at Hogwarts," Minerva bellowed as she blushed. "I have a good mind to expel you."
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked. "That sort of thing goes on all the time here at Hogwarts. Especially in the broom closets for some reason."
"Be that as it may, you will no longer have access to the girl's rooms in Ravenclaw Tower. I have personally set up several additional wards, and I advise you not to test them."
"That's fine, because I wasn't planning on sleeping there anyway. I'm going to spend my nights out in the Forbidden Forest with the other unicorns."
"Why would you want to do that?"
"As you know my magical condition can't be cured. To avoid causing any more... side-effects in the other students, I think I should spend my nights outside of the castle," Harry said as he hit Minerva with his Charisma.
"What about Sirius Black? The Dementors of Azkaban are searching for him all over the Highlands, and they might attack you as well."
"I will be safe as long as I'm in my Animagus form and stay close to the other unicorns in the Forbidden Forest," Harry replied. "What I need from you is a safe way out of the castle each night. And some written documentation stating that I have permission to leave Hogwarts if I get caught by one of the other Professors or by the Aurors."
"This is very dangerous idea," McGonagall warned him as she prepared the necessary paperwork.
"Maybe, but only a handful of people know about my Animagus form, so I should be safe. You haven't registered Blackie with the Ministry of Magic yet, have you?"
"No, but that will have to change soon. Your three friends will have mastered their Animagus transformations by the end of the school year, and when that happens I'm legally required to inform the Ministry. Four unicorn Animagi... there will be a major uproar when the news hits the Daily Prophet."
"Any publicity is good publicity. What was the Headmaster thinking when he hired a werewolf as the DADA professor?'' Harry asked. Not only was his Charisma affecting Minerva, but he was also using Legilimency on her as well. There was no way she could lie to him.
"He believes Sirius Black will make an attempt on your life, and no one knows the traitor better than his old friend Remus Lupin. That smug bastard Albus told me he is using a dark creature to catch a Death Eater. Professor Snape is providing Lupin with a special potion called Wolfsbane during each full moon, so Albus assures me that Lupin poses no threat to the students. Or his fellow professors."
"What do you think about his plan?"
"I think the Headmaster is starting to go senile."
The next morning Harry awoke just before dawn, and he felt wonderful. While a wizard retained his intelligence as an Animagus, in many ways it was a very different kind of intelligence. Time seemed to speed-up and you became much more aware of your environment. An Animagus is also less likely—or maybe less able—to engage in complex thinking. When Harry transformed in Blackie the unicorn it was as if his problems faded into the background, and his vivid nightmares about Voldemort and the prophecy could no longer trouble him.
"Harry Potter, I would speak with you."
Damn, it was the bloody centaurs again. One of the reasons Harry felt safe staying in the Forbidden Forest was because his Charisma never seemed to affect Magorian or the other male centaurs. (Or maybe the centaurs already hated all wizards, so they didn't notice that they hated him too. Magic was so blood confusing.) Reluctantly Harry transformed back into his human form so he could speak to the leader of centaur herd.
"Yes, what can I do for you?"
"You spent several hours in the Forbidden Forest last night. By tradition we are excepted to share that information with the Headmaster of Hogwarts."
"I had no idea you were another one of Dumbledore's toadies," Harry muttered.
"Do not attempt to anger me Harry Potter, you will not succeed. I will keep your secret in return for your aid. For too long my people have suffered from the presence of the Acromantulas in the Forest, and several young centaurs have even been slain by the foul monsters," Magorian told him. "Despite this, Albus Dumbledore does nothing."
"I'm not very good with a wand, so I don't see how I could help you with your Acromantula problem."
"Your magic is of no importance to me. It is the aid of the unicorns we seek," Magorian explained. "If the centaurs and unicorns work together, we can defeat this deadly foe and reclaim the Forest."
"You think the other unicorns will follow my lead? But I can't even communicate with them."
"Harry Potter, according to the stars you are true Lord of the Unicorns."
That was definitely news to Harry, but why couldn't he have been the Lord of something cool? No, he had to be the bloody Lord of the bloody Unicorns. "I need some time to think about this. Can we talk again tomorrow morning?"
"As you wish."
As he made his way back to Hogwarts under his Invisibility Cloak, Harry pondered this new bit of information. It was true that the unicorns had accepted him right away, and that they had all gathered around him last night as they slept. But was he actually their Lord? Right now he had other things to worry about.
"Where have you been?'' Hermione wailed when he reached the Great Hall for breakfast.
"We spent half the night looking for you," Su added.
"Follow me," Harry said after he grabbed several pieces of fruit and some toast.
Now was as good a time as any to introduce them to the Come and Go Room. Hopefully they would be so distracted by its unique properties that they would forget to be angry with him. Soon they reached the seventh floor and the entrance magically appeared. Inside were four comfortable armchairs facing each another in a circle.
"Sit down."
"What is this place?" Padma asked.
"It's called the Come and Go Room by the house-elves." Briefly Harry explained everything he knew about this Room and its incredible magic, but Su wasn't so easily lead astray.
"This is all very fascinating, but what I want to know is where the hell you were last night."
"Minerva placed wards around your room to prevent me from getting in. She knows what we were doing in bed last year," Harry explained.
"Please, it took us about an hour to remove those so-called wards," Padma sniffed. "Professor McGonagall should stick to Transfiguration."
"That doesn't matter anymore, because from now on I will be spending my nights out in the Forbidden Forest as Blackie."
Rather than start screaming two of the three witches showed why they had been sorted into Ravenclaw in the first place. "So you want to isolate yourself from human contact," Su said at once.
"You must believe that your magic is having a negative effect on us," Padma added.
"You three lost your virginity on the Hogwarts Express of all places, and then you conducted an illegal blood ritual on me against my will. I don't think my magic is affecting you. I know my magic is affecting you. So until I have myself back under control, I need to limit the time I spend with the three of you."
This was more than Hermione could bear, and in a blink of an eye she went from sitting in her armchair to being wrapped around his body. "Oh Harry, I can't live without you!"
"Granger, calm down. We are still going to see him every day during classes," Su pointed out.
"You know, there are several Asian forms of magical mediation that I could teach you," Padma said. "And my grandparents would be happy to spend me more books on the subject. They hate the fact that I'm being educated outside of India, and they are always eager for me to learn more about our traditional culture."
At this point Hermione began kissing his neck and tying to rip off his shirt. "Please Harry, I must have you one last time."
"Who said anything about last times?" an exasperated Su asked. "I think we should come up here every day. This Come and Go Room is a perfect meeting place for us."
"That sounds good to me," Harry said. "How long do we have until our first class this morning?"
"Arithmancy starts in about an hour," Padma informed them after checking the time with her wand.
"So what are we going to do with the other fifty-seven minutes?" Su asked as she started to take off her robes.
Padma and Hermione laughed at the joke about his lack of stamina. Harry didn't find it quite so funny.
They found out that Su was right about Professor Vector when she vomited during their first Arithmancy class. Apparently even witches suffer from morning sickness. The study of the magical properties of numbers was just as difficult as Harry had feared, but he had three excellent tutors. Tutors who knew how to motivate him when necessary.
Despite dropping Transfiguration, Charms, and DADA Harry still had a tough course load this year. Studying Ancient Runes was hard enough, but having to be in the same room as the witch who had craved the runes on his bones made it worse. On the other side of the balance sheet Divination, Care of Magical Creatures, and Muggle Studies were all easy classes. Muggle Studies in particular was a joke, and Harry knew that even someone as clueless as him could have done a better job teaching the subject than their pureblood professor.
Harry had always done well in Herbology, and Potions was actually fun this year. The expectant father Professor Snape walked around gobsmacked for the first few weeks of term, and everyone was hoping that his current state of confusion would last for a while.
Another source of gossip during the fall was Draco Malfoy and his new girlfriend Susan Bones. "Why does everyone seem so interested in a pair of third-years?" Harry asked during dinner one night.
"When Draco's parents passed away it made him the most powerful student in Slytherin, maybe the most powerful student in all of Hogwarts—other than you," Su explained. "Most of the other snakes will have to wait years or even decades to inherit control of their families. But when Malfoy comes of age in four years he will automatically become one of the wealthiest and most influential wizards in the United Kingdom."
"His relationship with Bones is just icing on the cake," Padma continued. "She is the niece of the Head of the MLE, and most see Amelia Bones as the logical successor to Minister Fudge. If they got married after graduation it would combine his wealth with her political influence. They would be unstoppable together, so everyone wants to get on their good side now."
As Harry made his way out into the Forbidden Forest later that evening he kept thinking about what Su and Padma had told them. Originally all he wanted to do was escape from Malfoy Manor, but using his Charisma in such a reckless fashion had gotten three people killed—including Cissy. (The fact that Lucius Malfoy and Bianca Zabini had also died didn't bother him nearly as much.) He had also turned Draco Malfoy into a political powerhouse. Talk about unintended and unwanted consequences.
"Harry Potter, I have important news for you," said the centaur Bane, who was waiting for him at the edge of the Forest. Since the Lord of the Unicorns had agreed to make war on the Acromantulas, Bane and the other centaurs had almost become friendly with him. "We have captured the wizard Sirius Black."