Loon In Winter Chapter 10: A Reason, a harry potter fanfic

HOLY CARP AND COD! Update-age! Yes yes, the muse didn't die for this, only went to sleep for a bit. And I'm not neglecting Nomad either, I've just had a sudden burst of creativity, and I missed these two so much. So! A brief chapter of fluff now, a longer one full of (entirely expected, this is Snape we're dealing with) angst a bit later. To everyone who's still reading, I love you :D

Oh I do believe

In all the things you say

What comes is better than what came before…

~ Cat Power

In the white farm-house on the Otter River, all of the windows were lit warmly for the first time in three years. The outside looked a bit shabby and overgrown with vines and roses, but it was still entirely livable. Luna had quickly reclaimed her father's house, she and Lotty, Theodore's loyal house elf, working hard to repair what small hurts neglect and abandonment had inflicted upon it, and now it was finally complete. Now her children were to grow up in the same home Luna had. It was a comforting thought, especially after the long, unsettling day she'd sat through. Nothing compared to home.

This was not to say that it was an easy transition. Rodmilla and Rodrigue Nott had changed homes so many times in their short lives already, and leaving Hogwarts had been the hardest change for the toddlers. While Luna had been repairing the house, they had stayed at the Burrow with Ginny, Orla, and their broods. And now they were adjusting to yet another move though, even if they did not remember it, Luna swore to her children out loud that this would be the last for a long time.

"Oubby?" Rod asked that night, his eyes full of tears after a particularly disagreeable bedtime. Luna sighed, tired but unable to keep a smile off of her face at such an adorable little one-word question.

"Tomorrow," Luna promised her son, tucking him back into the small, toddler-sized bed she'd recovered from the attic. "Oubby and Aunt Orla shall come visit us tomorrow." This seemed to appease the boy, and he snuggled into his blankets sleepily, clutching his stuffed bear tightly. Across the room, Rodmilla was already asleep in her own little bed, which Luna had transfigured from her father's old one. The room that had formerly belonged to her father had been transformed into a child's room, with pale green walls, mostly hand-made toys scattered on the floor, and the more frightening of his supernatural photos packed away. Luna figured that Alexander Lovegood would not have minded at all.

Once she was reasonably convinced that no one would be sneaking out of their beds Luna floated back downstairs, her signature long sundress swishing around her bare feet and jangling anklets. With a wave of her wand, she set the dinner dishes to washing themselves in the sink, and then sunk down into one of the freshly dusted couches. A warm, late-summer breeze was blowing through the open windows, the trees and the grass and the rose bushes were whispering pleasantly, and Luna felt herself drifting off to sleep.

And then, of course, someone started crying. Recognizing the sound as the bewildered wailing of Claudette, Luna rose with a sigh, climbing the stairs again and entering her own room to pick up her baby daughter. It was odd, she realized, walking into her childhood room and seeing a crib in the corner, along with her paintings and newspaper clippings and Ravenclaw trinkets from her school days. She did not have long to ponder on this fact. Claudette would not easily be consoled, and not wanting to wake up the twins, Luna carried her downstairs.

"What has fair little maiden so distressed, hmm?" Luna queried, to which Claudette simply pouted up at her. Pulling out her wand again, the young mother waved it towards the old record player in the corner of the sitting room. As one of Alexander Lovegood's dusty Grateful Dead records started turning, Luna rocked her daughter in her arms, walking back and forth across the hardwood floors, singing along. For a little while, the baby contented herself by wrapping her little fingers around her mother's pineapple earrings, before slowly starting to drift off to sleep again.

Luna was still singing, sunshine and daydreams on her lips, when someone cleared their throat behind her. She spun around, eyes wide, then nearly collapsed with relief when she saw who was there. "God, Merlin and Ra, you scared me half to death." She whispered. Claudette slept on.

"Then let us be thankful I did not do so twice." Severus joked dryly, shutting the front door behind him He fixed Luna with a severe look, "You don't have any wards up yet."

"Ginny was going to help me put some up tomorrow, twas never my specialty," Luna tilted her head, as Severus scanned the inside of her house, scowling while he hung his cloak by the door.

"Yes, well," He shook his head, obviously not impressed by her flippancy, "I do not like the thought of you staying here alone and unwarded." Luna fought with a smile.

"You can scold me in a moment," She murmured, "After I put her back to bed." Luna turned and climbed back up to her bedroom, gently laying Claudette back in her crib. When she returned downstairs, she found Severus checking the stability of one of her windows, before closing it. "I was enjoying that breeze."

"Too many individuals have died in this house," Severus said firmly, before he had time to catch himself. He paused, shutting his eyes in a wince. But when he turned back to face her, Luna had a rather dreamy smile on her lips.

"Do you truly think that I had forgotten that fact?" She questioned, her tone amused, "Two parents and one boyfriend. Oh, and also two goldfish and a cat," Luna did frown then, looking away, "Why did Aeneas kill Lucian as well? I never understood that." She shook her head, her expression smoothing again, "I hardly hold it against the walls." Severus let out a frustrated sigh.

"I cannot believe I must spell this out for a Ravenclaw," He said through clenched teeth, though he could sense the triumph in her smile as he spoke, "After today especially, I am worried after your safety."

"I know," Luna said softly, moving forward and kissing his cheek, "And I'm ever so thankful." His scowl almost instantly melted into simple consternation. "Tea?"

"Thank you," Severus responded, stiffly, as she swept away to heat the water. Uncomfortable, he glanced around the place. It could have passed for a normal old farm house of the style, if it weren't for the over-abundance of strange knick-knacks cluttering every surface, the photos of oddities hanging on the walls…at least the walls that weren't lined with shelves upon shelves of unusual books, some even Severus hadn't heard of before. As she prepared their tea, Luna noticed him standing there awkwardly, inspecting a photograph on the wall. Blurry "proof" of Snorkacks. She giggled softly.

"You can sit down, you know," She hummed, and Severus paused, as if caught in the trap of her silvery voice. Without a word he slipped gracefully into the sitting room, setting himself on the very edge of the old couch. The thing had been upholstered with bright red and plum Indian silks, tiny mirrors stitched into the embroidery. He thought it suited her, insufferably whimsical as he found it. His eyes were drawn back to the nearby bookshelf though, studying the titles. Some of them were quite absurd, of course. Histories of peoples who never existed and conspiracy theories galore. But a few caught Severus' especial attention.

"You've an original edition of Hob's Incantations?" He couldn't help exclaiming, carefully pulling out the ancient tome. "I was under the impression that only three were ever printed…"

"You would be correct," Luna smiled, floating into the room with her hands full of tea-tray. She set it down on the small wooden table in front of the brilliant sofa, before taking a seat at the opposite end. "One resided under lock and key in the Hogwarts Library, one was kept by The Ministry, and one belonged to my mother," Luna grinned in response to her former teacher's incredulous look, "She was the last of Hob's descendents. Until I was born, of course. I recovered it from Nott Manor last week."

"I was not aware," Severus murmured, almost in awe. He reverently began looking through the pages, scribbled upon by one of the greatest spell-writers the Wizarding World had known. Luna yawned.

"You may borrow it if you like," She offered, reaching up and pulling out the comb that had been holding her hair up. Severus glanced back at her, in time to watch it all tumble around her shoulders, down to her waist. When he did not reply, Luna bit her bottom lip in a pensive manner, feeling a bit self-conscious as his black eyes lingered on her tresses, his expression unreadable. "…Or you could leave it here, and come back to read whenever you wished to…"

Carefully, slowly, Severus set the book down on the small table before them. He folded his hands together, his spindly pale fingers tightly locked for a long moment. "I think…" He said slowly, in a strained tone, as if working very hard to keep something under control, "That I would like to come back." He turned back toward her, and Luna gazed at him quizzically, in a rare moment of being unable to read him like a book. Severus let out a frustrated huff of breath, pressing his lips together for a moment before speaking again. "You look beautiful this evening."

Luna smiled, slowly, resting her head against the back of the couch and regarding him fondly, "Why thank you, Severus Snape." She hummed, and he shut his eyes, once again seeming to be working his hardest to keep something at bay. It did not take her long to puzzle out the nature of this sudden awkwardness, on his part. For the past weeks there had been much looming between them, but there had also been rebuilding and trials and other such unpleasant tasks. There had been no solace, no quiet for them to dwell in, they'd seen each other whilst passing in halls, or in formal meetings. However, as of that day, her monsters had been locked away and her home was set to rights and for the first time since she'd lived at Hogwarts, the two found themselves able to breathe…and also alone, together.

"Luna, I do not do well, addressing sentiments, which I am sure does not surprise you," He spoke again, softly, the tension slowly leaving his words as he did. Luna met the dark eyes that searched her face steadily. "I have no scruples in expressing, fervently, my regard for your safety, however, I fear that," He paused, self-consciously tugging on his cuff, "At expressing any other sort of regard, I am woefully inept."

"I don't mind," Luna whispered, her voice like a warm vapor, wrapping around him. He scowled at her sharply, his eyes guarded, his jaw set sternly. She only smiled. "You sound as if you are issuing a warning, Severus."

"Oh but I am," He replied darkly, though the look he gave her was entirely free of venom. Only disgust, with himself, "You will discover me to be most disappointing in all things sentimental. I have spent decades sneering at sentimentality, avoiding physical contact and altogether despising the marital happiness of others." He sounded much like the man who'd been her teacher as he said this, "And though I…I care for you a great deal, Luna," Severus swallowed, that stern set of his jaw wavering a moment, "I fear that you will find me quite inferior to the passionate young man who once held your heart."

"Not going to work," Luna murmured, chidingly, as she shifted forward on the couch, her knees brushing against his leg as she leaned up, kissing his cheek. Severus cleared his throat.

"What isn't?" He grumbled, even as she started trailing little kisses along his jaw line.

"Your attempt to hold me at arm's length," She replied against his pale skin, her breath warm, causing his mind to wander most dangerously indeed, "You know I already know you," She grinned at his small gasp of surprise, when her breath moved over his ear, "You know that I see only you, you ever so mean, tormented, brilliant, insufferable, and entirely passionate man that you are…"

"Why…?" He turned his head toward her, and his whispered question was swallowed as her lips very suddenly and very insistently crashed into his. Whatever Severus had meant to ask was utterly lost to him then, as her lips pressed and parted against his, her hands grabbing the front of his waistcoat, pulling him close as she slid alarmingly onto his knees, her knees resting on either side of him on that ridiculously brilliant couch. He thought to protest…for nearly two seconds, before Luna completely dissolved him, running her hands up his chest and wrapping her arms around his neck. Severus kissed her back then with a fervor, burying his hands in her long hair, hair he'd ached for so long to touch at his leisure.

Luna finally pulled away, gasping for air, but he only bent forward to kiss her throat, loathe to waste one moment of being granted access to her before one or both of them regained their senses. Luna tilted her head back, still clutching him to her as he reached down, touching her bare ankle where the lace of her hem met her skin. She grinned, letting out a breathy giggle which caused Severus to let out a most distressed groan, pulling her mouth back to his. She sighed, lips parting, and feeling her slim form all around him, pressed against him, the taste of her on his tongue, Severus was quite sure he'd never felt such euphoria. He wanted it…wanted her…as he'd wanted precious few things in life before.

And it was that thought that stilled him, caused his hands to freeze. Luna pulled away, confusion all over her features as she regarded him, saw the suddenly tense line of his shoulders, the apprehensive, guarded look in his dark eyes. Luna licked her lips nervously, her breathing still uneven, her pale blue dress rumpled, and his eyes shut. "Severus…?"

"I cannot," He whispered, willing his hands away from her form, gripping the edges of the couch cushions. "Luna, what affections I do possess…they have never been gentle," He opened his eyes, nearly undone again at the nearness of her face, "It is not exactly a word one would ever use to describe me, in any light." His upper lip twitched, without humor, rather put out by this sudden rush of honesty but only adoring her more for causing it, "The things I care for are often violently removed from my life and I have, in turn, been known to violently guard them. I've no experience at treating someone with tenderness…"

"Suits me fine," She whispered, her breath ghosting over his lips, and he felt his blood begin to simmer again. Amazing, he thought in a daze, how eyes as pale as hers could hold a look so dark and tempting. "Besides, I do not think you could ever truly hurt me," She brushed a hand softly along the side of his face, before biting her lip, a devious sparkle entering those eyes. "Unless, perhaps, I asked you to…?"

Well, this was certainly a side to his ethereal Dulcinea he'd not seen before. Severus thought, perhaps, at a later date he would wonder how he'd missed it. At the moment however, he was far too caught up in kissing her, clutching her to him, indulging in her. Her hands were in his hair, her legs straddling him, and he was quite sure he could die then a happy man. But, of course, fate had a cruel sense of humor.

"Mummy?" The delicate fairy voice was very soft, sounding very far-off, but it stilled both of them abruptly. Luna's gaze shot over Severus' shoulder, over the back of the couch, rather relieved to see no one standing at the bottom of the stairs. She looked back at him, smiling ruefully even as his face turned blotchy.

"Merlin's law," She murmured, pressing a soft, brief kiss to his lips before disentangling herself. Standing up, taking in his disheveled, mildly mortified state, Luna grinned. He didn't return the gesture, but a rather smarmy look returned to his face, which was of course the Severus Snape equivalent. "Do not go anywhere," She hummed, walking around the couch, touching his arm. Leaving the sitting room behind and standing at the bottom of the stairs, she looked up to see her daughter Rodmilla standing at the top, rag doll tucked firmly under one arm.

"Bad dream," The three year old sighed, once her mother had climbed the stairs and lifted her up into her arms.

"I'm sorry, love," She crooned, kissing her daughter's forehead and sweeping her back to her room. Rodmilla snuggled into her embrace, as Luna walked her around the room a few times, mindful of the still-sleeping form of Rodrigue.

"Who's here?" The little girl asked, sleepily, and Luna paused, smirking.

"Just Professor Snape, Milla…"

"Oh," The toddler yawned, her eyes drifting shut. "I like him."

"Me too," Luna stifled a giggle at the sheer oddness of a toddler finding the former head of Slytherin to be so agreeable, instead humming for a few minutes more, until Rodmilla was fast asleep in her arms. She bent gently, laying the little girl back in her bed, and pulling the pink and green quilt (one that Luna's own mother had made for her when she was ten) up to her daughter's chin. "Sleep sweet," She whispered, kissing Milla's forehead before leaving the room, slipping back down the stairs.

He was still in the sitting room, still seated on the couch, perfectly composed and once again leafing through the book on her table, as if nothing had happened to undo him. Luna grinned, crossing her arms and standing by the armrest closest to him, watching. He did not lift his eyes from the pages, his face perfectly at ease, impassive. It was as close to conventional humor as one ever got with the man. "I was almost sure you would have fled into the night…" Luna noted at last, earning herself a brief upturn of one side of his mouth.

"Luna, I have faced Dark Lords, Werewolves, Dementors, and Bill Weasley after four months without giving himself a proper bath," He spoke without looking up, "I rather think I can handle the mortification of having nearly been caught snogging someone's mother." Luna winced, and at that, Severus did look up, the ghost of a real and true smirk on his lips, "And you are ever so appealing, when you are that particular shade of crimson."

"Charmer, you," She murmured, then moved around the couch, standing at his side between the table and the cushions, and reached out to brush his hair back from his brow. He sat up a bit, shutting his eyes for a moment and simply enjoying the feel of her hands.

"I should return to London," He said quietly, and her hands stilled.

"Should you, then?" She bent down, kissing his forehead, her own long hair brushing against his face as she did. Severus sighed, a long, regretful thing.

"Yes," His voice was firm, even as he let himself get lost in her ministrations for a moment, "I am required at the Ministry later tonight, and," He cleared his throat, "I am quite sure that, if allowed much more time in your presence, I'd never leave."

"I do not think I would mind…" She noted, her voice a drifty sort of thing.

"Yes, well," Severus cleared his throat, standing. Luna's eyes were drawn upwards as he did, fixed on his face. She reached up, smoothing the front of his waistcoat in a mirror of his most familiar nervous gesture, and his throat tightened for a moment. He also reached out, brushing a hand lightly over her hair. "I will drop in again, of course…"

"You'd best," Luna grinned, pressing a light kiss to his lips before pulling him toward her front door.

"You have my word," He said, his voice low and solemn, his eyes unable to hide their softness, looking at her. At the door, she took down his long dark cloak and wrapped it around his shoulders herself, closing the silver clasp with slim pale fingers. Luna reached out when she was done, wrapping her arms around him, pressing a kiss to his chest, where supposedly a heart actually was present and beating. He had to smirk, even as he was quite shaken by the gesture, "Found it then, did you?"

"I think so," She said, quite seriously, "I may have to do further research to prove my theory of its existence."

"Take all the time you need," Severus bent down, kissing her soundly, lingeringly, before pulling away and sweeping out of her door.

Luna smiled, crossing her arms and leaning against her door frame. She watched as he apparated away, and then sighed, looking up at the night sky thoughtfully. A full moon was shining brightly. Her smile widened, pleasant thoughts crowding out the darkness in her mind for once. Someone started crying upstairs again, and the Moon Girl slipped back inside, shutting the door, the smile never leaving her lips.

Author's Notes: Squee. Severus is a difficult fellow to write on his most canon days, throwing him into a romantic situation is like wrestling a werewolf to the ground, not that I do such often. Er, the Snape-romance-writing, not the werewolf-wrestling, I wrestle werewolves all the time. Anywhoot, Reviews are cherished :D I'm going to go work on some angst and bickering now.

...writing Luna bickering, also on par with wrestling werewolves. Perhaps also the Lock Ness Monster, she's got a mean backstroke.