All I own is my imagination, if that's not enough for you, then don't read. Simple.
Walking to DX's locker room Andy and the boys, I decided they are to be called boy, they act like Andrew when they're together. Well they've been planning pranks, they've got a couple of ideas for Vinnie Mac, and a couple for William Regal and Coach, whoever they are. When we got to the locker room Shawn had been in, there was a new sign on it...DX, proceed with caution. I burst out laughing, but stopped when they all looked at me.
"What's with the sign?" Seriously funny sign.
"That's for promos and stuff" Shawn answered, damn and here I was about to make fun of their sexuality, what you didn't picture it?
"Ok." We entered the newly dubbed DX room, and saw a huge ass clock, I must've missed it before. I looked at Shawn for an explanation.
"I like to be punctual" Well that's about as mature as I'll see him tonight. 6:45pm.
"So what time does the show start?"
"8. You don't watch?" Paul said.
"Australian, you know, funny accent and all that jazz" I replied.
"That's what I couldn't place" He nodded as to approve, not like he could really do anything about what country I'm from anyway. I looked at Jeff who was standing by the door.
"Am I allowed to hang with Jeff, or do I have to stay here?" I really don't fancy staying here, and Jeff just looks uncomfortable.
"No, you two go. Just be back by 7:30, for a rundown of the show." Jeff and I held hands as we left, leaving the boys to plot the demise of Raw. We walked until we got to Jeff's room, where we went inside.
"You have a locker room by yourself?" I thought everyone shared, like those APA guys.
"Yea, strangely nobody wants to share with me, they think I have some crazy ass pre-match ritual. Shawn and Paul do sometimes, and Matt, but I like it like this."
"Matt? He's on Raw too?" God, please tell me he's not, I mean it's not like we really hit it off.
"Nah, he was, sometimes he makes an appearance for a Hardy Boyz match, but he's on Smackdown now." Jeff replied, noticeably glummer than before. "But I have you to share a room with now" He said, perking up again.
"Yay" I replied. Somehow we made it to the couch, he was lying behind me with my head on his chest, just enjoying each other's company, that's how we were. "So, what was with the whole munchkin dog thing before?"
"I thought it had something to do with what happened after your mum died" Wow a non-reference, someone's tiptoeing.
"No, just her special name for me, I'm not ready to share it"
"I know how you feel I don't think I could handle anyone calling you Squirt." Good lord boy. I started laughing.
"Yep, that's special alright"
"It is." He replied, some almighty wisdom thrown about him.
"So Skittz, why were you looking pale as shit when Andy and DX were plotting?"
"Well, who's in a rivalry with Paul?"
"You" Duh.
"So that mean's I'm on the receiving end of some of those pranks. As well as Vinnie Mac and Coach and Regal"
"Coach and who-now" I really wanna know. Yes, I'm nosy, get over it.
"Coach and Regal, Regal is the GM, like the sub boss, below Vinnie Mac, and Coach is always on a power trip, he's like some assistant or something."
"Like authority figures right?"
"Right." So DX is anti-authority, Andy will fit right in.
"So how do we do this?" I asked out of the blue.
"Do what?"
"This, tonight. The whole me save your match thing, I mean, do we give each other secret lover glances all night or what?"
"Now I gotcha, well how about after one of the pranks you stay behind and help me. Yea?"
"Yea. Ok. I guess I'll go tell them boys then."
"Squirt, I absolutely love your accent/
"Your's aint bad either." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, anything else and I would never have left. I grabbed Andy's board and headed back to DX's locker room. Looking at all the wrestlers on the way. As I was walking someone called out to me.
"You lost?"
"No, why? You need a map?" I replied, not really in the mood. Clearly this shook the dude up, he shook his head and looked at me differently.
"Hi, I'm Randy, Randy Orton."
"You're Orton?" I asked, so that's who the bad influence is.
"So you do watch me then." He smirked.
"Nope. Never have done" I replied shrugging.
"So then why are you here?" I snuck backstage to screw your brains out.
"I was invited." Clearly someone forgot to put an on switch on his brain.
"So little ring rat, who invited you?"
"Ring rat, WTF mate?"
"WTF? What's that mean?" He asked dumbfounded.
"What the fuck. Struth don't tell me you don't know WTF, that's just wrong."
"WTF, struth, where are you from?" Orton asked…I'm gonna have some fun.
"Well Orton, you see, when a man and a woman are drunk…"
"I know where people come from," He snapped. "Interesting start though, drunk not love."
"Its just sex Orton, not all of us are perfect."
"I know" Conceited much?!
"I see what they mean about you now." I said and started to walk off.
"Who?" Orton asked. Clearly it's the aliens I live with.
"You'll find out" I replied. That went pretty good, I arrived back at the locker room without a hitch, not wanting to walk in on anything but fully dressed men, I knocked.
"Come in" Clearly the catch phrase of the night. I entered the room to find Andy, Paul and Shawn gathered over a book, then I noticed the camera in the corner.
"Well then, whose this And? Your girl?" Paul snickered.
"Nah, I don't know her." Andy said, slipping a piece of paper with 'run with it' written on it and showed it to me.
"What's your name sweetheart?" Shawn asked.
"Helen. Umm just call me Tarnation though." I said putting the pieces together. Skit.
"Helen Tarnation. I like it. What do you think Shawn?"
"Gotta ring to it."
"So girly you want in DX too, we've already let this punk in for the night, and we need a nice piece of ass to join us." Paul offered. How this man is married I'll never know.
"Nice piece of ass aye? Hmm as lovely as it is to be a piece of meat for you two to drool over. I don't think so."
"Too bad, Vince is giving us shit, so unless you want us to go and unload some of that shit onto you, you're staying."
"Great options there sparky," I said to Paul. I sat on a chair and folded my legs.
"Put this on to" Shawn threw a DX jersey at me. I pulled it over my shirt and huffed. The camera guy left.
"Nice of youz to tell me there"
"No problem, but in all seriousness for a minute" Paul serious? Tonight? "Take off your shirt under the DX one we gave you, you'll need it later." Paul told me. Great piece of advice, take off your shirt, good thing their both Dads.
"Come on guys, why can't you tell me what's going on?"
"Because we're playing off real emotion and responses. Have fun with Jeff?"
"Yep" Paul and Shawn smirked.
"Come on people, she's my cousin." Andy whined
"Rack off you pervs, I said I had fun, I said nothing about tweaking the tackle."
"Rack off?"
"Tweaking the tackle?" I tuned bright red when Shawn asked what that meant.
"Rack off, apparently piss off is rude here, so rack off will do. And Shawn you see when a man and woman are well, not quite drunk they do things that normally they wouldn't. And sometimes that includes –
"LaLaLaLaLaLa" Andy started La-ing, to block me out.
"Tweaking the tackle. That's a new one." Paul said. I hit Andy so he'd shut up. But as soon as I hit him, his hand went to his right side, where I had hit him, there was a lovely red mark there.
"Damn girl, you've got some back hand," Shawn said, shaking his head.
"I toughened up the last couple of years." It's true I had, only Jeff knew why though.
"Remind me to stay on her good side" Paul said. Then Shawn looked mortified.
"Hey Elle Girl, please don't hit me like that later tonight."
"What? I didn't even hit him that hard." I replied, it's true, I can hit way harder, wooses.
"You'll go far as a Diva kid" Thanks Paul.
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