Declaration: I write for my own pleasure and not for profit. I do not own Harry Potter Universe.
Chapter 10:
November slowly turned into December and brought conflicting emotions to the students in the castle. While most of the students started to think about going home for Christmas, they also began dreading the end of term exams that come before going home. For once Harry was not worried about the exams, with the extra training he was putting in he was sure that he and Hermione could even pass their NEWTs. Hermione was also a lot more relaxed about exam revisions than all the previous years that Harry had known her, a distinct advantage of not hanging out with Ron. She quickly understood the need to relax a bit after a session of intense study and training. The added load of additional subjects and unaccustomed physical exercise tired her out much easily than Harry and was always glad for some respite. That the resting involved plenty of snuggling with Harry on the couch in front of the common room fire also helped her reasoning.
One such relaxing Saturday night found Hermione alone on the couch. Harry was away with Professor Dumbledore and though they shared much of the training and study sessions, she was not privy to the extra sessions with Professor Dumbledore. It was quite late at night and she was waiting for harry with only a couple of seventh year students left in the common room. Her musings were interrupted by opening of the portrait hole to admit a very worried Harry into the common room. Sensing his mood, Hermione immediately pulled him into a warm hug and Harry buried his face into her hair relishing the contact. Slowly pulling Harry onto the couch, Hermione laid his head onto her lap and began running her fingers through his hair calming him down considerably. With the soothing sensation of Hermione's ministrations Harry slowly began to drift off to sleep.
Hermione gently roused him "Harry do you want to go to your dorm room to bed?"
Though reluctant to get off Hermione's lap he realized the lateness of the hour and finally roused himself enough to get off the couch. "Hermione, do you have some free time tomorrow after breakfast? There is something very important that I would like to talk to you." Suitably intrigued Hermione acquiesced to his request and hugging her one last time Harry bade her good night and they left for their dorms.
The next morning after an early breakfast following their physical training session, Harry led Hermione to their 'training room'. After casting multiple locking, silencing and notice-me-not charms at the door, Harry gestured her to take the couch in the room and began speaking with an intense gaze directed at her implying the seriousness of the situation, "What I am going to tell you is a secret, a secret so dark that it threatens the very existence of magical Britain. A secret that only Dumbledore knows and has now decided to share with me. He did not want me to tell anyone, but I need you Hermione." While turning away from her he muttered under his breath "in more ways than I care to admit" though it was not meant for her to hear, Hermione could not help but grin at his inadvertent admission. Harry though was oblivious of Hermione's happy countenance and began pacing the room collecting his thoughts and decided to bare it all to her.
"He made horcruxes Hermione, Voldemort made horcruxes." Seeing her confused expression, he sat on the couch beside her and taking her hands into his, began the tale that he learnt during the time spent with Dumbledore learning all about Voldemort and his attempts to evade death. He talked about the memories that Dumbledore had gathered through the years and also his suspicions on the number and nature of the objects that Voldemort used.
Hermione was struck speechless with horror not only at the idea of splitting one's soul but also at the enormity and near impossibility of the task. They had no concrete evidence of the objects and let alone find them, they had no way of safely destroying them.
Giving her a wry grin he continued, "It gets worse Hermione, yesterday when I went to meet Dumbledore I found both Snape and Madam Pomfrey with him. I am not sure if you know but he injured his hand when trying to destroy a Horcrux. Apparently he put the ring containing a horcrux and a strong compulsion charm on his finger and it began to kill him slowly. Though he managed to destroy the horcrux, it is killing him slowly and I think that he does not have a long time to live Hermione. I think he wants me to finish the job." He let out a strangled sob, "me, a not yet seventeen year old, how can he expect me to do this Hermione, this is not some class test that if I fail I get a rap on the knuckles. We are talking about killing a very powerful wizard and not to mention the future of the world." Finally unable to hold back his tears any longer, Harry started to sob in earnest.
Hermione's heart broke at the despair radiating off Harry. She could very well understand his emotions; he is faced with a future that no fully trained wizard would want to face. Quickly gathering him into her arms, Hermione began rubbing his back and whispering soothing words of comfort into his ear. She tried to alleviate his burden and began to think out logically, "I am sure that Dumbledore will be with us for some time Harry. With Snape working on the curse and Madam Pomfrey looking after him, he may even survive the curse totally. Merlin knows you have been at her tender mercies often enough." This earned her a snort from Harry who was still buried in her arms with his head resting in her neck.
Taking this as encouragement she ploughed on, "still Dumbledore could not have chosen a better person than you Harry." This had a totally different reaction from harry, he quickly disentangled himself from Hermione and gave her an incredulous look. "No listen to me Harry; you are a very powerful wizard. Even Professor McGonagall acknowledged this fact. I am also sure that Dumbledore will not leave you all alone. He will give you all the knowledge that he has on the horcruxes and their destruction. If I am not wrong, people will sleep a little better knowing that you are the one chosen by Dumbledore to get the deed done."
Harry continued to give her a disbelieving look and so giving him a bright smile, she tried a different tack, "You will have me by your side always."
This however, did not have the desired effect on harry, giving her a guilt look Harry pleaded, "Hermione I know that I cannot survive without you bailing me out every time but I do not want you to be with me in this. I want you, no, I need you to survive this war and live happily Hermione. Please go away, as far away from me as possible. I cannot forgive myself if something happened to you, I can happily live or die knowing that you are safe than seeing you dead."
Harry was ready for every possible response from Hermione, though he really did not want her to leave him; he was even ready to hear her acceptance to his pleading. Nothing prepared him for the scathing look that he got in response, "You want me to tuck my tail between my legs and run away while you put yourself in danger? I thought that you knew me better than that Harry. You may not accept this but do you think that I can live without you? I have been by your side when Voldemort attacked you in our first year, and I am going to be by your side till we finish this forever. The safest place I can think for me to be is beside you Harry, I know that you will do your utmost to keep me safe. " Caressing his cheek in a tender gesture she softened her tone she finished, "I will be in your life forever Harry, however you will let me, just as a friend or as something more meaningful."
The passion and finality in her voice, the fire and love reflected in her eyes entrapped Harry and left him gasping for breath. It took him a lot of effort to resist kissing her then and there and proclaim his love to her. He was quite sure that Hermione will reciprocate his feelings based on what she said earlier, but he was afraid to take the step, a step that will change his relationship with Hermione forever and also put her in considerable danger.
With his resistance crumbled at her proclamation, Harry was finally able to admit both to himself and to Hermione that he was relieved. Relieved that Hermione will be there by his side till the end as he was convinced that he could not finish the job without her by his side. With the high strung emotions of the discussion finally spent, they sagged onto the couch and embraced supporting each other without the need for words. Gathering up his courage Harry kissed Hermione tenderly on her cheek leaving her blushing brightly. Snuggling comfortably into his embrace while lying full length on the couch, Hermione cuddled up to him, and they decided to keep detailed notes regarding every aspect of Harry's conversations with Dumbledore. With the added chore of researching into Horcruxes and the means of their destruction, Harry and Hermione's busy schedules became much more hectic.
In their dueling sessions with Professor Flitwick, they began to realize a serious disadvantage of fighting with wands. Wands could be lost or broken easily and even though they were quite adept at wandless casting than the ordinary witch and wizard, they quickly realized that wandless casting was only a temporary solution. The added advantage of a wand's focus allowed them to cast much more powerful and damaging spells than without it. So they began using wands that were not a perfect match to them. Surprisingly, they found that when they exchanged their wands, they were able to cast their spells nearly as efficiently as with their own wands. Their wands were compatible to each other than any other wand even that of Professors McGonagall and Flitwick. Seeing that, Flitwick could not help but quip "see even your magic is trying to tell you something that is blatantly obvious to all except the two of you" much to the embarrassment of the two teens.
They decided to visit Olivander's at Diagon alley during the Christmas break and since Harry found it very difficult to get a matching wand the first time, they hoped that Mr. Ollivander could make them both custom wands. Harry was thinking about the 'priori incantatum' that he encountered when he dueled Voldemort in the graveyard during his fourth year. A custom wand may help him overcome the phenomenon and give him a better chance at defeating the hated wizard.
Their animagus training was also advancing in leaps and bounds and they were able to change individual body parts at will but they were unable to change the different parts together. They knew that this is the toughest part of the transformations and therefore were not discouraged. In fact the praise that Professor McGonagall heaped on them regarding the pace that they were progressing boosted their confidence to no end and spurred them on.
One evening, returning from their potions class, Harry accidentally bumped into Snape while turning a corner. This caused Harry to lose the grip on his book bag and hitting the ground the bag tore at the seams and most of his books fell out. With a sneer in place on his face, Snape was getting ready to hit his stride in belittling Harry. However, his gaze fell on to a familiar potions text and his face morphed into a reverent one while picking up the fallen book, much to the astonishment of Harry and Hermione.
In a strangled whisper he addressed the two bewildered teens, "Do you realize the significance of this book? Where did you get this?"
Surprised at the honest and tender emotions on the hated teacher's face Harry promptly replied, "I found the book in the potions cupboard in the dungeons sir. The first page is torn so I could not determine the owner of the book."
"Take care of the book Potter. It belonged to your mother, Lily Evans."
Harry was astonished and elated at the same time. This was a legacy of his mother; he has tangible proof about the brilliance of his mother. Even Hermione was shocked and she finally realized that the corrections and notations made in the neat and crisp hand writing were a result of meticulous research by a brilliant witch acknowledged by many. She heard many people and even Professor Slughorn saying that Lily Potter was one of the foremost experts in potion making. Oblivious to the presence of Snape and hugging an emotional Harry Potter, she made a silent vow to herself that she would help Harry as much as she could in bringing to light the modifications that his mother made to potion brewing and give credit where it is due.
Harry composed himself, taking the book form Snape's hands began running his fingers reverently over his mother's hand writing and in his happiness was even generous in thanking the greasy haired teacher, "Thank you professor, now that I know that it belonged to my mother I will treasure it all my life. I will get it preserved properly for eternity. I was thinking about getting the modifications published as a book properly to give credit to the author, now that I know that it belonged to my mother I am going to take more interest in getting it published. Thank you again sir."
With a curt nod, Snape moved away leaving Hermione to take the hand of a clearly emotional Harry and began dragging him into the Gryffindor common room to freshen up before dinner. She had to unburden herself and hoped to calm down Harry, "I am so sorry Harry, I was wrong to doubt you using the written instructions. I was very harsh on you, please forgive me."
With a shake of his head Harry pulled her into a hug, "you have nothing to apologize for Hermione, I am sure that if you have known that the book belonged to my mother you would not have objected to my using it. Any way I hope that this will give you an idea that you have to look at both sides of the coin before deciding to take action." Having her in his arms took away most of the rebuke in his comments; he kissed her forehead and gave her a smile. Disentangling herself from Harry's arms, Hermione returned the smile exchanging a look to signify an end to that argument and they silently agreed not to dwell on such negative emotions any longer.