This is a SaixIno chapter
Disclaimer: Is. Not. Mine
Tsunade just finished getting ready in her dressing room. Her pigtails were on point, her outfit was nice and clean, and finally her breasts looked amazing. Once she took her pre show sake she was ready to perform! Walking out to the stage with a boost of confidence she sat in her usual seat. She turned to the camera crew and producer-
"The hell? Asuma what are you doing here? We are not having another drinking contest!"
Asuma proudly adjust his headset and puffed out his chest.
"Lady I'm the new producer."
Tsunade promptly fell off her chair.
Shizune ran on stage and helped her boss off the ground. Tsunade gripped Shizune's shoulders.
"Is this true?"
Shizune nodded "yes Lady Tsunade. The pervious producer err had some….issues and put in his two week notice."
Tsunade patted her dear partner's shoulder and gently shooed her off stage. Asuma watched on curiously.
"This is fantastic! Yes! Sake is love! Sake is life!"
The audience all stood and roared loudly. They all chanted "Tsunade! Tsunade! Tsunade!"
Grinning Asuma turned to the camera man. "Please tell me we got that on tape."
"Sir we've been filming since she walked on stage."
"Hey Lady the show is on!"
"Holy crap! Well hello America I'm Tsunade and I have great news. I now will have unlimited sake while filming!"
The audience continued to cheer loudly. Asuma didn't correct her and Shizune watched on while holding Tonton. Said pet pig merely oinked in joy for his owner's happiness.
"So today we will have a blast from the past. My guest Ino is here to test a new man that will hopefully be the father of her little boy. Let's look back at her last visit."
Video recap
Ino smooths out her purple tank top before exploding "I'm here because of a certain dog loving idiot! That flea bag refuses to take care of my son! I'm here to prove he is the father of my son!"
Ino stands and exclaims "I'm 1000% sure he is the father!" at that comment the audience cheers for her and the guys keep whistling.
Kiba leans forward in his seat "ya well your reputation speaks volumes from all the guys you dated. One of those other guys is your kid's dad not me."
The audience cheers and claps as Tsunade is handed the results by Shizune. Tsunade crosses one leg over the other and finishes her last glass of sake, "alright then" she clears her throat "in the case of Ino's son…Kiba you are NOT the father!"
He nods and lets go of her "don't worry I'm sure you'll find your baby's dad" he smiles.
Ino nods "ya I will."
"Everyone welcome back Ino!"
Majority of the audience cheered loudly and screamed that they would be her baby's father. The women in the showed proceeded to knock out their dates. Some unlucky men received sever nose bleeds from Ino's sheer beauty and were lying on the floor unconscious.
Ino paid the audience no mind and calmly walked onto the set. She smiled warmly at the host and shook her hand.
"I still see you have your trusty alcohol."
"Oh course blondie, how else could I function?" Tsunade gave the young mother a hug and both blondes sat down.
"So since the last time you were here what happened with you and Kiba?"
"He apologized for being a giant ass-beep and we still remain friends."
"I can easily say that I don't want him back on this stage. He's been here two times. Two! I need new fresh faces with more drama and angst!"
"Err well I defiantly brought some one new…" Ino trailed off nervously.
"Alright tell me about this new guy you brought today." Tsunade casually crossed her legs and was calmly sipping her sake.
"Sai is…well you see…uh he's just…Sai is Sai." Ino sighed. She honestly couldn't find a better description for him.
"Ok he's name is Sai and he's himself. Can you give us a little more backstory? How did you meet and what not." Tsunade offered her guest some sake but she politely declined.
"Sai is an amazing artist. It's one of the things that drew me to him. He's just…to put it nicely he's not very good at socializing."
"Got it. He's an idiot like the rest of the male population." Tsunade grinned.
The men in the audience began to complain but the women agreed whole heartily.
"It's not his fault. He just doesn't understand a lot about people. His childhood was a little messed up."
"Let me stop you right there." Tsunade placed down her glass and her empty sake bottle. "Do you watch this show at home? Be honest."
"If it's on sometimes-"
"Did you see last week's episode?!" Tsunade slammed her fist down on the small end table next to her. Crushing it into tiny particles.
"Well no-"
"I refuse to hear anymore sadness! I nearly lost my head from the last case. Do you hear me? No more depressing pasts! Just bring this kid out so that we can all go home!"
The audience remembered the previous episode and shivered at the sadness of it all. They too demanded for this Sai character to come out. They did not want to pay for any more therapy sessions!
Asuma shrugged and spoke into the headset to let Sai onto the stage.
But when Sai emerged from backstage he wasn't alone.
On no the famous erotic novelist Jiraiya was right next to him.
The old man was practically drooling at whatever Sai was showing him from his sketchbook.
"C-Can you make them a little bigger?"
Sai shrugged and his hand flew across the page.
"T-That's it! That's the perfect scene for the cover of my next book!"
"Jiraiya! How many times do I have to tell you stop harassing my guests?" Tsunade snapped at her longtime friend. By this point she wasn't sure why she kept that man around.
"My beautiful Tsunade look what this young man drew!" Jiraiya eagerly showed the hostess and her guest the picture on the sketchbook.
It was a very…touching scene between a man and woman.
Tsunade flushed red from anger, embarrassment, and her sake. Ino covered her mouth in shock while Sai looked completely indifferent to the whole situation.
Tsunade tackled the old man.
"Got off me you old hag! You're heavy!"
"I will kill you this time you old hermit!"
Someone from the audience asked what was on the sketchbook. Ino could only watch in horror as Sai calmly turned the picture to the direction of the audience and camera.
Asuma quickly and franticly pushed the cameras in another direction. The men and a few women from the audience fainted from the sexiness of the picture. Tsunade used her inhuman strength to toss Jiraiya into the live audience. Since the majority of the audience was down on the ground, Jiraiya was just another body among them.
Once peace was restored to order the cameras returned their attention to a fuming hostess, a horrified young mother, and a confused man that couldn't make heads or tails on what just happened.
"Does this happen often on this show? I don't quite understand the concept. I thought this was a place to help determine the parentage of children?"
Tsunade snatched the sketchbook from Sai and tore the picture to shreds.
"Do not and I repeat do not ever in your life draw another picture for that man. Do. You. Understand?" Tsunade poked him to emphasis her point.
Sai merely blinked then moved his gaze to Ino for help.
"Just nod your head and please sit down Sai. This is turning into a mess." Ino held her head between her hands.
Sai frowned. He calmly retrieved his book and took a seat. He flipped to a new page and began to furiously draw.
Tsunade took a deep breath and sat down, weary. "Alright let's just move on. So Ino do you believe Sai is the father."
Ino lifted her head and nodded. "Yes when Kiba was revealed not to be the father, there was only one other choice."
"I'm just curious why he wasn't your first guess?" Tsunade asked while she waited for Shizune to bring her a new bottle of sake.
Ino blushed profusely and began to play with her ponytail.
"W-Well the thing is…Sai is a nice guy and all but like I said he doesn't understand people."
"So to put it bluntly the sex was bad." Tsunade cheered when she received her sake from Shizune. Tonton decided to stay on set and observe the action.
The male population on set visibly flinched at the bluntness of Tsunade's statement. The woman gave Ino sympatric looks. Ino herself looked nervously at Sai to see his reaction.
He continued to draw and ignored everyone around him.
"What is wrong with him?" Tsunade leaned in to whisper loudly in Ino's direction.
"Social issues."
"Emotionally constipated. Got it." Tsunade took a giant gulp from the bottle.
The set grew quiet. Sai continued to draw and the hostess was at a loss. Normally there would be more yelling, screaming really, and she would be flying off the handle with anger or giggly from her many bottles of sake.
This episode contained only bullying on unsuspecting Jiraiya.
"So Sai, how do you feel about this situation?"
Silence.
"Do you think you're the father?"
Scribble scribble.
"Are you not angry that Ino didn't consider you first as the father of her child?"
Sai looked up to stare at Ino. She smiled reassuringly.
He went back to drawing.
"Look punk! I need some kind of reaction out of you. NO one is this emotionally unstable. Give some kind of sign that you having feelings!"
The audience waited anxiously to see what the silent man had to say.
Sai finally put down his pencil. He turned the sketchbook around so that Ino and Tsunade could see his art. Asuma directed the camera man to focus on the picture.
It was a drawing of Ino's son smiling brightly as two arms held him high in the air. Pure joy and innocence reflected in the boy's temperament.
"He makes me smile."
The audience began to wail at the simple sentence.
Ino teared up at the beautiful drawing and hugged the socially awkward Sai.
Tsunade began to sniff. Even Tonton sensed the mood shift and cuddled closer to his owner.
"Good god kid I didn't mean this much emotion!"
The audience continued to wail. Asuma took out his phone and called his wife and daughter. Shizune openly wept and made a note to call her mother when the show was over.
"S-Someone get me the results. And pray that this man is the father."
Shizune managed to get her grip and delivered the envelope. The audience blew their noses and clapped.
Tsunade wiped her tear away and cleared her throat. "Ok before I read the results, Sai do you want to the father?"
"Always no matter what happens."
"Do not let him go. He's too innocent." Tsunade patted Ino's knee.
"We've been through too much. He's stuck with me." Ino laughed lightly.
"Ok then in the case of Ino's son…Sai you ARE the father!"
The audience cheered wildly. Ino threw her arms around Sai and wept some more. Sai gently returned her hug; a sincere loving smile graced his lips.
Tsunade stood from her seat, Tonton held closely to her chest, "thank you America for tuning in. Come back next week for another exciting episode of the Tsunade show!"
Backstage
Sai held his son gently in his arms.
"I will now show you how to use a paint brush."
The young boy smiled brightly and gave his father a wet kiss.
Ino couldn't help a few tears fall as she watched the loving scene between father and son. Sai noticed the tears but could see that Ino was happy.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm just really happy. I'm also sorry. You missed out on a lot while I was trying to convince myself and Kiba he was the father."
Sai frowned, "there is no need for tears." He balanced his son on one arm and used his free hand to wipe her tears away. "I may not be good with words….my brother would have liked you."
Ino willed herself not to cry anymore. "I'm sure I would have liked him too."
It's amazing how some stuff is easy to dish out in an hour while others take me months to finish a page. My mind baffles me. Do leave a review since I'm running out of couples.
Thanks everyone!