BE DAVE
"Oh my god please tell me this is just some sick joke, and that's ketchup or something!" You stare pleadingly at the screen. You take off your shades, needing to get a better look. You see dark red blood, seeping over the side of his ashen skin. It's definitely bad. You can't bear to look at him, but you can't turn away lest he disappears.
"Dave," you can barely hear his voice, he's so quiet, "I think I might have messed up."
You feel panic grip your chest, "No shit, Sherlock." Perhaps you shouldn't have said that, as he cringes away from the screen a little. You mutter an apology before turning away from the screen and grabbing one of your jackets, throwing it around you quickly and tugging on your shoes after fumbling them for a few seconds. When you look back at the screen, Karkat's not there. "Shouty! Where the fuck are you?"
You watch the screen for a few seconds that feel like hours, and you're about to turn away and head out there when he finally pops back into view, wearing the sweater he wore earlier today, "I needed to get something on." Still a quiet little motherfucker. This is not Karkat.
"Did you at least put a bandage on first?" You try to avoid a condescending tone.
He just looks down at his arm and pulls the sleeve up so his grey arm is exposed, "Nope." You suppress a groan when you see his arm is now smeared thickly with blood. Instead of the thin lines streaking his smooth skin, it's a fabric-patterned sticky mess coating his arm. His blood is a bright red, but it's getting darker around his wound. You feel sick thinking about how much blood he could be losing. He looks disgusted, but intrigued at the same time. These fucking trolls and their weird culture shit are definitely going to be the death of you.
You are aware of how desperate you sound when you nearly beg, "Please, just don't mess with it, or at the very least put a bandage on it."
Oh god, it's dripping. How can he just stare at it? Is it so fascinating to see your own life force?
"Dave," it's nearly impossible to hear him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry I can't go over today, something's come up," he laughs a little bit, the corners of his mouth bordering smile territory. This is fucking bad, this is not Karkat, you need someone to get over there and turn him back into his grouchy, shouty, angry self, not this apologetic, quiet, and smiling piece of shit. Is he joking? You want to scream at him, but you're all too aware of how fragile he is at this moment. If you make him feel worse, he could easily do something rash. You decide to get some "professional" help.
[turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist at 5:34 p.m.]
TG: hey lalonde you busy?
TT: Yes.
TG: well you gotta come over
TG: right now
TG: major code red
TT: Dave, I have things to attend to.
TG: yeah well shouty's bleeding all over the place
TG: and I have no idea what to do
TT: Okay, fine.
TT: I'll be over with Kanaya soon.
TG: do you have to bring her
TT: Yes.
TG: okay fine
TG: and hurry up
[turntech Godhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 5:39 p.m.]
You really wish she wouldn't bring Kanaya. You've seen so much of those two together. Besides, dragging more people than necessary into this could make Karkat panic. You go back to the video screen. "Karkat?"
He's laying on the carpet in front of the screen.
"Karkat!"
His body jerks and he looks up, "I'm tired, Dave. Fuck off."
"No stay with me, do not fall asleep, okay? I know I keep telling you that you need to sleep but right now just be your insomniac self and do not go to sleep."
He sighs and props his head up with one hand, "Okay." He looks fucking exhausted.
"I've called over Rose and Kanaya, I want them to help you."
That was clearly the wrong thing to say. He gets up and walks away from the screen. You sit there in near panic until he reappears, and sits back down on the carpet
"Don't tell anybody, Dave."
"About what?"
He has a bored expression on his face, "About all this bullshit, okay? It's too much for other people to deal with, and right now I'm already concerned with having you fucking leave me. Kanaya's not exactly perfect with keeping a goddamn secret, Rose doesn't know how to to save her life, and you'd rather be cool than keep a secret, so can we at least keep this shit between us so that I don't fucking lose it and slit all your throats?"
You get an idea. Clearly he's not going to talk to Rose or Kanaya, or even let them see his arm. But he'll let you see it, won't he? One more time?
"Can I see your arm real quick?"
He frowns a little and looks into the screen as if to make sure no-one's there, then he shows you his still bleeding arm, "Why?"
You press PRTSC and get a screen shot of that, immediately pasting it on a blank program. You've at least got picture proof you can show the girls on the off chance they don't believe how dire the situation is, "I just wanted to see if it had stopped bleeding or not."
He yanks the sleeve back down over his arm. You hear Bro's voice from another room. Shit they're probably already here. Rose definitely hurried. Good. "I'll be right back, Karkat, don't go anywhere okay?" You get up and go into the living room, where you see Rose and Kanaya.
Shit shit shit, they're covered in puppets. Goddamn Bro and his moderately hilarious antics. "Bro!"
"Little dude, look, you've got chicks over."
"Bro go away, leave them alone, we're serious biz right now," you motion for them to make their way over to you, "Just go fuck a puppet or something, Bro."
"You watch your fucking mouth." Master of irony and hypocrisy. You will learn his ways one day.
You just groan loudly and lead your platonic female friends into your room. You motion for them to stand out of the view of the camera for a moment while you go and sit right in front, "Karkat you still there?"
"Is that Dave?"
You wince. He's definitely lost a lot of blood if he's delirious. Either that or he hasn't been eating again. Or perhaps he fell asleep again? You glance over at the girls. Kanaya, at least, looks concerned. "Yeah, dude, it's me. Did you ever put on the bandage like I said?"
"No," his voice is quiet and you turn up the volume on your computer to try to hear him better, "I fell asleep again."
Your heart feels like it's in your throat, and you look desperately at Kanaya and Rose. Rose mouths, 'let me talk to him'. You look back at Karkat. "Would you like to talk to Rose?"
"I am NOT talking to that witchbitch!" you wince at the volume. Wow, he sure is loud sometimes. Most times. You actually miss his loud screams. These quiet conversations you've been having lately now seem extraordinarily out of place.
You rub your eyes with one hand, "Okay, just, go get a bandage or something." You watch the screen to make sure he's gone, then you press your thumb over the webcam and motion for the girls to come over to the screen. You open up the program with the picture of Karkat and his injury.
Kanaya gasps and Rose stares in disbelief. The troll girl opens her mouth to say something, but Karkat's voice chimes in from the microphone on the other computer, and you comically wave them away and out of the camera range while removing your thumb from the webcam.
"I couldn't find bandages."
"That's okay, bro, uhh, is your house unlocked?"
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Don't fucking try to send anyone over, or I swear I won't fucking be here."
You're getting flustered and feel the claws of desperation raking your throat, and your stomach twists, leaving you feeling positively sick. "Wh- What about Kanaya? You remember her, right?"
It hurts you to see him close his eyes and have to think about Kanaya. He looks like he's on the brim of losing consciousness. "Uhh, yeah, she fucking ditched me for Rose the past, like, two sweeps."
"Will you talk to her?"
"...I guess."
You move out of the screen's range and Kanaya takes your place. She makes attempts to coax him into showing her his arm, but he threatens her with his life, and she quiets down about the topic. You go over to Rose, and speak to her in hushed tones. "I'm going over there."
"He'll realize what's going on if you're not talking to him. If he gets mad at Kanaya and you're not here to take her place, he's gonna flip his shit more than usual."
"Then what should I do? Leaving him alone is bad, it'd be best to get there while he's still awake and capable of unlocking his door."
"I'll go."
"He hates you for some reason, though. He'll never let you in."
She rolls her eyes, "Yes, because I've never dealt with a situation close to this before. Never once. Definitely not with someone you dated before. Never, Dave."
You'd rather her not sit there and condescend you into the ground with her aptly timed cynicism. "Fine," you hiss at her. She takes off, and you turn back over to Kanaya. She looks paler than she usually does, and she already looks incredibly pale.
"His bleeding has stopped at least. But now he's crying, and I don't know what to do. I'm used to dealing with drunk people, not this degree of depressed people." She pronounces every word with precise annunciation. She's so pretentious, its hilarious, even in this situation. Cynicism and pretentiousness go together well.
You sit beside her and look into the screen. He's sitting right in front, and you can see him from about his mouth down; the computer's been angled lower because he used to be laying down. Each breath he takes is shaky, and you can tell he's crying based on how every once in a while his body jerks a little bit upright. His mouth is open slightly, and you can see his sharp little teeth.
"I'm sorry, Dave."
You grab the sides of the screen, wishing you could just go through it and embrace him in a huge fucking consolation hug, "No, don't be sorry."
"I need to cut again."
"Karkat no!"
His voice hitches, "I don't want to feel this guilt!"
"You'll feel even more if you do it," you really wish you could convince him to stop.
"You don't get it, you didn't go through what I went through!" He's shivering rapidly, "Did you even notice the bruises?" You wince a little at how harsh his tone is. It's exceptionally brutal, even for Karkat.
"No.."
"Well fucking look!" he holds his arms wide open and pulls up his sweater over his stomach, and you actually notice that he's got a dark bruise on his stomach, and he's got a black eye. You thought those were just shadows.
"Where the fuck did you get those?!"
"School, Dave. The wonderful place of learning. And guess what I got told while I was getting the shit beaten out of me? It was the wonderful fucking phrase of the gods, "get over it"!" He's bordering on Rose-style sarcasm, and his tone of voice is practically dripping with the same cynicism she uses. Trolls sure get the hang of things quickly.
He reaches behind himself and grabs something, then holds it up in front of the camera. You notice it's a sharpener blade. You scream out something that resembles an anger and fear combination, and beside you Kanaya lets out something similar. He closes out of the video program.
"Holy shit!" you jump up and look back at Kanaya, "To hell with what Rose said, I'm fucking going over there now!"
She gets up as well, "I'm not going to let him do this." Is that a trace of guilt in her eyes? Whatever.
You hurry out of the room with her following, glad she at least feels the need to protect him kind of like you do. You wish she'd just be his moirail already, he desperately needs one. One who can withstand this pit of depression he's in, and you've got to say, Kanaya's probably the most mentally sound person you know. After literally jumping in the car, you nearly speed out onto the road. You stay somewhat near the speed limit, for getting a ticket at a time like this would be highly uncalled for. You're aware that your foot not on the gas pedal is tapping rapidly, and you realize you're genuinely scared for his life. Cool kids don't get scared, though. You guess you can deal with being uncool just this once. You'll be scarred for life, though. Bro can never hear of it.
You manage to get there, and you see Rose standing out on the steps that lead up to his place. You place the car in park and rapidly turn it off before jumping out and running over to her, "Did he unlock it?"
"If he did would I be out here? No, I'm working on it, though."
"How?"
"I'm trying to use magic to unlock it."
You cannot fucking believe her. Instead of doing something smart, she's being dumb. You want to believe she's just as overwhelmed as you are, not watching you suffer for her own weird personal gain. With an exasperated sound you throw your arms in the air, "Oh my god, that's not gonna work."
You start knocking on the door, actively preventing yourself from pounding it into oblivion, "Karkat, fucking let me in." You do not want to deal with any bullshit right now.
To your complete and utter surprise you hear a couple locks unlocking, but the chain ones that deadbolt the door are still there. You see his face through the small gap between the door and the frame. "Dave?"
"Yes, it's me."
"Is it just you?" He sounds extremely cautious. He really doesn't want anyone else here.
You look over at the girls, then before he realize what you're doing and to make it seem like there's no-one there, you look to the other side, "Just me, don't worry KK, nobody else is here."
For once, you're glad he's too delusional to rationalize otherwise.
He closes the door and unlocks it, then slowly opens the door, and the moment you can see him through it you spring in there with Rose and Kanaya directly behind you. You see disbelief flit across his gaze, to be replaced by a look of complete betrayal. You swear any trace of light in his eyes disappeared in that moment. He turns around and sprints to his room in a last-ditch effort, with the three of you hard on his heels. He's got his back to the wall, and he's shaking so bad you're afraid he might end up fall over.
"You lied to me, Dave! You fucking lied!" You can hear the pain in his voice, and it fucking hurts.
Rose chimes in with, "It's for your own safety!" As if that will make him think differently.
You look at him, and notice his arm with the deep cut is not bleeding at all, but his arms have a lot of shallower cuts going up and down. He's been busy. You take a step towards him and he growls loudly, his vocal cords still working as well as ever. Something changes right after, as quick as if something snap. Or broke. His growl subsides into silence, and he begins to look more afraid than defensive. You stand there and just watch him as he slides to the ground, his knees pulled up to his chest, his head on his knees, and his arms covering his head. You go to embrace him, but Rose stops you with an arm across your chest.
"I think he's having a panic attack, be gentle, okay? Don't try to move him, just comfort him. It will be better for him in the long run. If he wants to move, let him, don't pressure him," her voice is a whisper.
You nod and look at Kanaya, "Can you find something to work like a bandage?"
She nods and heads off to look for something suitable.
You turn your gaze back to him, and lightly walk over to him, kneeling beside him. "It's okay, Karkat," you say as you gently rub his head a little bit. His hair feels dry and raggedy, no doubt because he never seems to fucking introduce vitamins to his body. You glance over as Rose sits on the bed. She's probably analyzing Karkat at this moment. Your attention is dragged back to your boyfriend, or as he'd call it in his weird troll language, matesprit, as he drapes his arms over your shoulders and presses his head into your chest. You hug him tightly, not wanting to let go of him. You feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest against your own. It brings you comfort, until the breathing gets gets labored.
You look towards Rose in desperation, making a confused sound. She doesn't seem to understand what you're implying. "He's having a hard time breathing, I think."
"Rub his back hard, it should help ease his breathing."
You do as she says and he hugs you tighter, pressing his head into your chest even more. It probably constricts his breathing, but you want to let him do what makes him feel the most comfortable. The last thing you want is to upset him even more than he already is. As his breathing gradually gets better, you notice that his shaking slows down too. You hold him close, and look up as Kanaya returns holding a towel. "It took a bit, but I found a small towel I think might work, and some medical tape. I even wet it down to help clean off the dried blood."
"Thank you," you try to pry Karkat off of you, but he clings to you, apparently not wanting to turn to have to face them. "I think he's embarrassed."
She smiles a little bit, "It's fine, I can deal with it." She gently grabs the arm that's most wounded and starts to clean off the dried blood. She must have accidentally hurt him because he lets out a yelp and turns his head to face her. She apologizes as he turns his head back to your chest and just wraps the towel around his arm, securing it with the medical tape she found. She looks at Rose, and motions to go to the doorway. You watch them for a moment, but then look back at Karkat. You don't know what they're talking about, but you assume it has something to do with him.
His breathing has evened out, and has gotten deeper. You nudge him a little and he doesn't move. He's probably asleep. Rough day for this loudmouth.
You pick him up (because he's fucking light as hell) and set him on the bed. You pull the blankets back and set him underneath the sheet, just so he has something over him. You look up and Kanaya motions for you to go over to her. You look at Karkat, make sure he's okay, then get up and walk over to her. She leads you out into the living room.
"Dave," Rose sounds somewhat sad, "Kanaya said he looks dead."
"He's not dead," your voice is filled with disbelief, "you can see him breathing in there."
"He may not be dead outside, but something inside got killed today. I think he should be sent somewhere he's constantly being watched. You know, so he can be as safe as possible."
"Like a fucking hospital?!" Oh hell no. They are not sending your boyfriend away.
Kanaya pipes in, "It's for his own good. You saw how badly he hurt himself. If he hadn't been smart enough to reach out to you, he'd probably be dead by now. He clearly can't handle it out here. He did this over some bruises he got at school. This extreme of a stunt over bruises."
"Well if he never got the bruises he'd be fine. If I could have just protected him from those douchebags.."
"Dave do you think he's ever been fine?" Kanaya's voice is quiet and terse.
You shut your mouth, and you hear an almost silent scraping sound. You look to your side, where the hallway is. You see half of Karkat standing there with one hand around the corner, his nails digging into the wall, and you notice just how dead he really looks. Skinny as a skeleton, completely pale skin, and like Kanaya had mentioned before, those unlit eyes. Those are what get you. It's like there's nothing behind that gaze. Nothing at all.
"Don't send me away," his voice cracks through his quiet voice. Quiet... you don't like that at all.
Kanaya looks over and opens her mouth slightly, "You should be asleep."
"I don't sleep."
She looks at Rose and Rose walks over to Karkat, grabbing his upper arm and pulling him back into the room, despite his loud protests.
Kanaya looks back at you, her eyes full of pleading, "Please, Dave. I don't want him dead. I've seen enough dead friends."
You don't know what to do.
…
A/N Well lookie here, another lengthy one for you guys. My my how I spoil you. So, what do you think? Will Karkat be sent away? Or will Dave manage to convince Rose and Kanaya to not call the hospital? To be brutally honest, this whole thing is going away from the original story I had planned (but the ending will still be the same I am determined!), so even I don't know if he'll go away or not! All depends on my mood when I next decide to get off my fat ass to write. Anyhoo, I wrote this one from Dave's perspective, because there are some surprises done by Karkat that wouldn't have been as dramatic if he was the one y'all were "being". In case it isn't obvious, I fucking love drama, and writing cliche shit.
By the way I love every single one of my readers. Full homo.