The next morning Dean woke up feeling worse than ever. That night had been a lousy one for Dean. The burning image of his brother wove in and out of his fitful dreams while a laughter that sounded suspiciously like Ruby's mocking voice rang in the background. He looked over to Sam's bed and saw that the bed was empty. Just then the motel room door opened and Sam stepped in with 2 take away bags of breakfast. The two of them sat in silence avoiding each other's gazes. Breakfast was conducted in their usual manner. Silence had now become their 24/7 companion.

After the plates were thrown, Dean said, "We should get going. Did u research anything?"

"I have been doing some research. Turns out that a brunette was murdered recently last week and the killings have been going on for some years now. There is a pattern. A few years back a brunette had been a victim the same way. She was the first one. Her name was Christina Styles. She was murdered by her boyfriend on their first date"

"Kay fine. We can go check out her grave. Sounds like a vengeful spirit to me. The sooner we can get this over with, the sooner we can go." Dean said and stood up to go.

"Dean I think we should first do some more research."

"What's there to research about? It's a simple ABC case. It's just another friggin betrayal story. It's just a vengeful spirit. We can go tonight unless you have some other plans to meet your girlfriend tonight for another one of juicy sessions."

Sam looked down in shame as the memory of that night filled his mind and the ghost of the tears he had heard Dean shed for him, floated in.

Immediately after saying, Dean felt bad. He shouldn't have leveled that at Sam. But then immediately his walls came back up pushing Sam out. Sam hadn't thought of his feelings when he had betrayed him or when he had gotten high on that bitch's essence. Why should he care when his brother pushed him out. It wasn't of any use to care about someone who had once loved and idolized you, but through it all hurt you and betrayed you over and over again so bad that it hurt just to be with that very someone.

Dean walked out of the room towards his impala. His trusted car, his baby, was the only one in front of whom he could let out all of his feelings without fear of betrayal or judgment. All through his life, he had never allowed himself to let go of his walls around anyone. Sam could once pierce them just with one look but now Sam's betrayals had just cemented those walls harder. Sitting inside the impala, Dean finally made himself let go of all his closed up feelings.

Tears rolled off his cheeks in waves. It was now that he could truly allow himself to feel the pain his brother gave him each minute. He could finally let that careful nonchalant mask of his, slip by and let the true emotions show. He could now let go of all that compressed anger towards Ruby and all of his suppressed betrayed emotions that always bordered on outburst when he was with Sam.

He was now truly all alone in this world. There was no one left with him. Everyone left him. Dad. Mom. Sam left him at least a dozen times just for some deep cherished desire. but what hurt the most was that when he sacrificed everything for one sole person ~ Sam ~ when he gave up his life for him , when he did horrendous deeds in hell just so Sam could breathe a moment longer each time , all Sam did was replace him , leave him , betray him and get over him.

The ease with which Sam got over his death troubled him. it made him truly consider exactly why he loved someone so much who didn't have the time to shed even a few measly tears over his broken hell burnt self because that someone was apparently so caught up in his ill fated date with destiny that he didn't have time for his brother anymore. It just hurt so damn much.

They had both been drifting apart for quite some time now. Drifting so far that the distance was too wide to cross. The dust too much to clear alone. The distance between them plain hurt. They used to be so close and now they couldn't wait to get away from each other. Dean sat in silence contemplating all of this as waves of sadness washed over him.

Sam watched all of this from the motel room window. It was disheartening to him to see that the only place Dean now felt comfortable with was his car. Before it used to be him whom Dean opened up to.

Now it was the impala. After the disastrous encounter with the siren , where Sam had thrown whatever Dean had revealed to him right back in Dean's face, Dean didn't trust him the least bit. And Sam feared that he never would .

As the sun kissed goodbye , Dean came back inside the room and quietly walked over to his bed and sat down. Dean remained there staring off into space until late at night when Sam cleared his throat , " I think we should get going now." Dean nodded his head and walked out of the room towards the impala.

Through it all , Sam felt insulted and hurt. Throughout the hunt , Dean eyed him with cold , untrusting eye. Sam felt it was an insult for Dean to have to look at him with calculative eyes in a hunt. Had he screwed up Dean's trust so bad? It hurt so damn much to have his only support , his very own dear brother , look at him with mistrust rooted deep in his eyes. He couldn't bear to look at Dean in the eye now. Each time he looked , all he saw was mistrust and coldness. Deep rooted shame and guilt rose each time he looked .it hurt so much now.

They reached the graveyard by midnight and soon got to work. It was supposed to be a simple hunt but of course nothing ever was simple for the Winchesters.

Finding the grave took quite some time. After about half an hour of searching , Christina's grave was found. Dean set to digging first while Sam kept watch.

As soon as the first grains of salt fell over Christina's bones , Christina herself appeared pearly white , beautiful even in her imprint. Sam saw the ghost appear and shot rounds of salt at her. However the spirit found an opening and chucked Sam towards the ground.

Sam watched through half hazy eyes. It seemed as though the world had stooped moving or had suddenly slowed down. Every minute detail was clear. He saw the spirit rush towards Dean. He saw Dean look up , worry and confusion clearly etched on his face . The spirit rushed forward with 3 knives ready to skewer Dean alive. It was all hazy to Sam until the spirit went after his brother.

No way was he going to lose over his brother over some bitch with an unfortunate history. Undiluted fear bubbled in his stomach as a new thought occurred to him. What if Dean was killed and Lilith claimed his soul back? What if Dean had to return back to the hellish nightmare he had endured because of Sam? No way was he going to let that happen. He was not going to lose his brother ever again. Maybe if he did save Dean , Dean would take him back and forgive him after all.

These were his last thoughts as he rushed towards Dean just in time to take the poisoned freaking knives to his heart. He heard a dull thump. He could feel the warmness oozing out of his chest. He was starting to feel cold , light and dizzy. Black spots were dancing before his eyes. He heard Dean shout out , " Sam! No!" he could hear Dean muttering words of encouragement and relief mixed with curses to him but it all sounded so vague. He tried to open his mouth and explain his actions but no words fell out of his mouth. The last thing he heard before he succumbed to darkness was Dean's broken cry , " Sam! Why? Why did you ?"