New Years' Eve came around before Sollux even realized—he supposed it was only a week after Christmas—and Feferi was beginning to fret about organizing her party.
"Feferi, relax," Sollux told her from his seat on her couch. He was fiddling with his phone, his latest addiction being Candy Crush while Feferi flittered around the kitchen, almost like a fairy or hummingbird, as she tried to ensure there would be enough snacks for everyone. She paused, looking up at Sollux, and tutted at him.
"You could help, you know," she said, her voice harsher than usual. "Sorry, Sollux," she said, catching herself. "I didn't mean to snip at you." Sollux sighed, put his phone away, and stood up.
"No, you're right. I should be more helpful." Sollux made his way into the kitchen and started taking some drinks out of the fridge. "Why're you so tense anyway?"
"Just… my mom's been on my case about appearing more professional. I can't believe she's already talking about me taking over the business! But we both know Meenah won't do it; Meenah's trying her damnedest to get out of here after graduation anyway. That's always her answer; when things get tough, run away! But to be honest, I don't blame her. Her relationship with Mom got really weird after she came out, but I don't get it. Her and Aranea weren't a bad couple, either. Anyway, between school and cheer- thank goodness that's over- and Mom's pressure on me and trying to maintain a social life, I guess I'm just getting a little worn down!"
Sollux paused, standing at the drink table. "Wait, your mom is putting pressure on you about the family business? Already?"
"Mhm."
"Why haven't we talked about this?"
"I dunno, I guess we always wind up… talking about your progress."
Sollux felt his cheeks flush for a second, not out of embarrassment, but rather, out of guilt. "Yeah… I'm sorry, FF. I guess… I guess we do get caught up in my stuff a lot. And that's not really fair to you."
"It's alright, I-" Feferi was interrupted as her doorbell rang. She glanced in the general direction of the door, looking somewhat surprised as she went to answer. Sollux groaned, hearing the next guest's voice before he even came into the room.
"Hey, Fef, thanks for lettin' me come over early. I really just… there's some serious shit goin' on at my house and I had to get the fuck out of there. Cro is bein' an even bigger dick than usual." Feferi and Eridan made their way back into the room. "Oh, hey, Sol." Sollux frowned. Feferi looked a little uneasy at the way the two boys were glaring at each other.
"Oh god, it's him," Sollux hissed. "FF, can you tell him to leave? I don't even have the energy for this."
"Hey asswipe, this doesn't concern those with a family income with less than 6 digits, it's a matter between me and Fef only. So keep your mouth closed or I'll slit you open over my next meal."
"Whatever, bro, not interested."
"Eridan, please! I don't want to see you two fight again. Please don't try to provoke him," Feferi said. "It's not like I don't know what you're doing! You keep trying to make Sollux hate you to get me to take your side again!"
"That's an astonshin' accusation! How could you say that? As if I'm not totally done with you romantically like I have told you repeatedly. All I wanted to do is have a word with you," Eridan muttered. Sollux smirked a bit. Eridan and Feferi had been very close, but their friendship had quite suddenly retracted right around Halloween; the fact that Sollux and Eridan had nearly gotten in a fist fight around that time probably didn't help. Sollux was amazed Feferi still invited him to parties, considering she was really the only one of their friends that could stand him. Actually, Karkat tolerated Eridan very well, but Sollux chalked that up to both of them being loudmouth gossips.
"Ok, Eridan, we can talk. But only if you're planning on being civil," Feferi answered. Sollux leaned against the wall next to the drink table and listened.
"That's what you never got, Fef. You and I are bein' civil by very virtue of the fact that we're even talking. You and I, we belong together. Even if not in that way which I get that you're not into and that's fine, but we belong together as friends if nothing else. So I'm gonna ask you this one last time and give you the choice. I'm about to go… please come with me?"
"Go? Where?" Eridan didn't answer the question, instead twiddling his fingers as he gave a shy nod towards Sollux. "Oh! I wasn't sure you were serious about that!"
"Of course I was!"
"This is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard," Sollux murmured, despite having no idea what the context was. "The idea that he can swoop in and break us up."
"Was that slander I just heard? I can't even tell. I tend to block out noise from filth like you."
"Eridan!" Feferi physically moved between the two boys as Sollux took an angry step towards Eridan.
"What? You don't think I can stand seein' you with salmon else? I don't give a carp about that, I just need a friend right now."
"Whale I think you're being a jerk! And you have lost all right to use fish puns forever. I revoke your fish punning license!"
"Don't take that tuna voice with me, heiress!"
"This makes me sad, Eridan, but I have to ask you to get out of my house. You can't ask me to up and leave, and travel thousands of miles away, and come in here and insult Sollux, especially when you know how things have been."
"So that's how it is…I ain't leavin' alone so easily!"
"Man, I can't believe this," Sollux said, a tense fist at his side. "Oh well, guess it's only fitting we end this with round two. You ready?"
"Bring it," Eridan said, his own fist clenching. Sollux took a step closer, throwing the first punch. He clocked Eridan right in the face, knocking his glasses off. Eridan fell to the ground.
"Stop!" Feferi shouted as Sollux hit Eridan again. Eridan wiped his cheek, punching Sollux as he stood up. Sollux stumbled back as Eridan took another swing, missed, and grabbed Sollux's shoulders, shoving him violently backwards. Sollux slammed into the wall, knocking the back of his head into it. He felt himself slide downwards, but was knocked out after that.

When Sollux came to, he heard Feferi speaking to someone else.
"Eridan! He came over early because he wanted to talk to me about… well, about leaving. Running away. Doing dangerous things without thinking them through because he feels scared and hopeless. I suppose I lost my temper, too, but he's just been so selfish, and… and rude lately! I just can't stand that kind of attitude!"
"Ah. I suppose that makes sense… he did shove me aside as I came in." That was Kanaya's voice. Sollux blinked, or at least he thought he did. His vision wasn't coming back. He sat up more quickly, now sure that his eyes were open, but all that he saw was black.
"Sollux?" he heard Feferi's voice come closer. "Are you alright?"
"I don't… I don't know. I can't see."
"It looks like you hit your head pretty hard," a third voice came. Was that Rose fucking Lalonde? "You may have damaged the optical cortex; it does lie in the back of the brain. Blindness is most likely temporary."
"And how the hell do you know?" Sollux hissed, trying his best to push himself up. He felt a hand under his arm help steady him.
"Open a book sometime, gamer boy. Maybe you'll learn something." Sollux grumbled a bit as someone- probably Feferi- guided him to the couch. She and Kanaya and Rose continued having conversation, and Sollux merely grumbled, sinking into the cushions. He felt Feferi's hand on his, but he was getting lost in his own head, imagining it was Aradia's hand, to the point where, when Feferi spoke, the misplaced voice threw Sollux off. He'd tried to make the relationship with Feferi work, because she was very genuinely sweet and kind, and Sollux appreciated the friendship, but it just wasn't the same, and it certainly wasn't fair to her, that he was always thinking of Aradia.

Sollux's vision started to come back as the party went on and more people arrived. He saw mostly blurs of colors at first, but it came back a little before midnight. Karkat had been sitting next to him for quite a while, but Sollux blinked at his friend, who just stared back.
"Dude, why are you so fucking quiet tonight?" Karkat asked.
"Eridan knocked my vision out earlier. Hard to talk to people you can't see," Sollux muttered, rubbing the back of his head. It still hurt, where he'd smashed against the wall.
"What the fuck?" Karkat looked widely confused. "Whatever, that guy's a dick. Why didn't you talk to Terezi?"
"Because I had no idea where she was. I can see now, though. I have no idea how she manages."
"She's…"
"She's Terezi. That's how," Sollux murmured.
"Pretty much." Karkat let out a long sigh. "Anyway, I'm gonna get a drink. You want any?"
Sollux shook his head no as Karkat stood up, and Karkat made his way to the drink table near Feferi's kitchen. It wasn't long before Karkat's grating shout filled the room. "Why's this taste weird?" Sollux heard him say. Sollux twisted over in his seat to see what was going on. Gamzee laughed as Karkat frowned at his cup. Sollux saw the gears turning in Karkat's mind as he nearly squashed the plastic cup in his hand in half before throwing it at Gamzee. "You piece of shit! You spiked the goddamn punch!" Gamzee just laughed through it all.
"No wonder Tavros looks worse than usual," Vriska sneered. Oh shit, he did; he was very clearly drunk. Sollux was amazed nobody else had any punch. Of course, most of the friends preferred a soda to punch, so it made some sense. Sollux couldn't help but watch as a scene unfolded between Tavros and Vriska- well, what else was new?- as Feferi took what was previously Karkat's seat next to him. Vriska sat herself in Tavros' lap as the countdown neared.
"Waht're you doin'?" Tavros slurred.
"I was gonna kiss you at midnight, you drunk fool," Vriska said.
"Ahah!" Tavros let out a loud laugh, adjusting himself in his wheelchair to force Vriska up. She glanced around the room and Sollux realized he wasn't the only person watching. Everyone was. Well, Vriska deserved to be embarrassed for once. "I, uh, no. Nnnnooo," Tavros said. Yeah, he was drunk, but Sollux could tell the boy was about to drop the truth on Vriska. "You don' wanna kiss meeee, you! Jus' wanna make… John… jealous. An anyway! I don' think I wannaaa kiss you, anymore. You're uhhhh, a mean. Person. You are mean to me. I don' like it. And if I haaaad to geuss, I don' think that, uh, mister John likes it very much, either. I know… most of us? Don't like it either. And uh, that's just. Sad. Vriskers. That most of us don't really like you? You're… too mean, Eheheh. Gamzee! Can I have anudder drink?" Tavros laughed again, not a malicious laugh, but simply a drunken version of his innocent laugh as he pushed himself back towards Gamzee. Vriska's cheeks flushed and she ran out of the house. Feferi looked mildly concerned, but didn't go after Vriska. Nobody did. John started to, but he looked unsure. The tension remained in the air for a moment, but Feferi stood to gather everyone's attention and bring focus back to the festivities.
"Hey guys! The countdown's starting!" she said. A few people smiled at Feferi, and those who were couples drew closer to each other as they watched the ball drop on the television. 10. Feferi gathered Sollux's attention. He looked at her, the pink flecks in her bright eyes beckoning him to come close. 9. It was clear she wanted to kiss him at midnight. Sollux suddenly felt a hurt in his gut. 8. It was becoming more and more clear that he shouldn't stay with her. It wasn't fair to her. 7. Sollux didn't even know what was going on in her life. They focused on him so much. 6. Feferi kept leaning in closer, blithely unaware of all the thoughts running through Sollux's head as he tried to lean away without being too obvious. 5. She opened her eyes, and there was less of a smile in them. 4. "Sollux?" she said, concern in her voice. Sollux bit his lip. 3. She was probably afraid he was going into an episode. Maybe he was, but he didn't think that was the problem in the moment. 2. "Do you want to be my midnight kiss?" Feferi asked. Damn! It was so adorable that she asked; so considerate. 1. But Sollux knew what the answer had to be.
"I can't," Sollux whispered. Feferi paused, then leaned her forehead on Sollux's shoulder. He felt a drip on his shirt. Shit. He was really going to be an ass for doing this on New Year's.

Sollux stuck around when everyone else cleared out. He'd agreed to help her clean up, but now both of them knew they had to talk. It was quiet for a while as they cleaned, the only sound being the clattering of dishes as they got piled into the sink.
"Feferi…" Sollux started. "Feferi, I-"
"You want to break up with me, don't you?" Feferi cut him off. There was a twinge of hurt in her voice, but not an overwhelming amount. There was little sadness, either. Sollux's gut hurt of guilt. Feferi set down the dish she was washing and looked over at Sollux. "Did I do something wrong?"
Sollux sighed. "No. I did. I shouldn't have dated you in the first place."
"Why?"
Sollux bit his lip, braces tearing into his skin. He certainly couldn't tell her the truth. That would be the worst thing he could say. "I have to figure out what to do about my own problems first, and it wasn't fair for me to ignore yours. I feel like I've been the shittiest boyfriend ever. And it's not going to get better until I start getting better. So… I think it's better for us to take a step back." Well, it wasn't a lie.
"Maybe you're right…" Feferi muttered. "I have a lot going on, too. Maybe our timing's just off."
"I don't want you to be sad, Feferi."
"Oh, it's alright, Sollux!" Feferi said, suddenly back to her usual chipper self. "It's for the best! And besides, we'll still be friends, right?"
Sollux faltered. "Oh! Yeah, of course! You're very sweet, Feferi. I just don't think this is going to work out… us, being a couple."
"I don't want you to force it. As long as we're both happy," Feferi said, still smiling. "You did catch me off guard, but as long as we're still friends, I think I'll be okay."
"Okay… good. I should… I should get going though."
"Oh, alright. I'll, uh, see you at school!" Sollux shrugged a bit, shooting a fake smile at Feferi as he left, and he let it drop as soon as he was out the front door. Thankfully, Simon didn't take too long getting to Feferi's, and Sollux climbed into the car, slumping in his seat.
"What's wrong, kiddo?" Simon asked. Sollux huffed.
"Feferi and I broke up."