In the Dark

by Rin Blake

Au, renamed- Growing up during the First Wizarding War defined a generation. But mostly it meant that every single one of them was damned.

10. Far from the Marauding Crowd

Chapter 10 Far from the Marauding Crowd

( Le Freak )

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A note about what transpired on September 1st 1976 if Sirius Black hadn't lit Cooper Sheldon on fire during the first feast of the year then Lily Evans wouldn't be standing on the steps to the Potter Manor almost a year later with a large cut adorning her arm. If she hadn't gone to the Potter Manor and chosen James that night then Lily would have probably ended up dead in less than an hour.

It all came down to one decision that night. If Lily had chosen to stay in that battle then she would have been hit by Bellatrix Lestrange's killing curse. After that James Potter would have killed Bellatrix Lestrange and commit suicide that very night. Lily and James' deaths would have led to the failure of Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black's relationship.

Marlene would go back to Fabian Prewitt and Sirius Black would have killed her and Fabian soon after. Aurors would have caught Sirius Black later that night and sentenced him to Azkaban for the rest of his life. But before he could ever get to Azkaban, Gideon Prewitt would have killed him in sadistic revenge. Remus Lupin would have hunted Gideon Prewitt and killed him within a month. Michael Wood would then kill Remus a few weeks later.

After that Adam McKinnon and Frank Longbottom would go on an Order mission that Lily Evans and Michael Wood should have gone on and died at the hands of Jason Gastor and Lucius Malfoy. Alice Prewitt would have died on an auror mission with Michael Wood the following week.

Emmeline Vance, well she would have moved out of country only to be killed by a rogue werewolf a few months later in France. Jason Gastor would live his life in a stupor of drunkenness before finally burning the Gastor Manor down with him inside on the one-year anniversary of his sister's death.

So many lives could have died. But they didn't. Those people, well some of them, would go onto to live until their time came. Lily had fate to thank for that.

But fate was luckily on all of their sides on September 1st 1976. If fate hadn't made Sirius Black decide to light muggleborn Cooper Sheldon's pants on fire during the sorting ceremony then everybody Lily ever loved would have died before she realized that she loved most of them.

Lily was a really lucky girl. She had a lot of people to thank for that. But on the first day of her 6th year Lily wasn't feeling so lucky.

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Lily had just woken up. She felt a heavy arm plastered across her chest and groaned into her pillow. Wait that wasn't her pillow. Lily shot up and looked around. She could hear someone snoring softly next to her and looked over. Galen Kingsmill's limp body draped across the bed. Lily saw that she was in the guest bedroom of her house, the one where Galen was staying.

She sighed with relief when her clothing was slightly messy, but on. Lily was a virgin and she wasn't planning on losing her virginity in some drunken stupor. She laughed at this; Lily hadn't even touched a single drop of alcohol the previous night.

She moved from under Galen and tiptoed to her room. Lily checked the time and saw that she had three hours until the train left from King's Cross Station. Lily quickly showered and dried her hair. She slipped into a light green sundress and looked in her mirror.

She was different. Lily's golden glow and hair were still the same. Yet she had changed. The joy and happiness of the summer illuminated her. Lily smiled when she saw that there weren't any bags under her eyes. Yet there was a haunting gaze in her eyes. Her life was numbered, it was going to end the day James Potter turned seventeen. She was trapped.

Lily sighed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She used several packing spells that she learned over her years of moving across the continent. Lily finished packing all of her belongings into her charmed bracelet within an hour. She sent Hestia to Hogwarts and stuffed her broom into one of the charms hanging on her bracelet.

Lily surveyed her room. It looked empty despite being almost filled with books and clothing. It was accepting the end of the summer much sooner that she could. Lily looked towards the piano. She sat on the cool bench and let her fingers guide her mind through a farewell to the summer.

Lily blinked when the song ended. She heard loud clapping and looked up. Galen grinned at her from the doorway. He held a suitcase, that Lily assumed was filled with the belongings he left her. Lily smiled at him and stood.

" Let's go," He announced. Lily nodded and closed the door to her bedroom behind her. The two ate a quite breakfast. But the silence was welcome; neither of them wanted the summer to end. After Lily gave a strict set of instructions to Daisy the house elf, the pair left the townhouse. Lily closed the door behind her and grabbed Galen's hand.

She felt the tugging sensation of apparition and let it come over her. Lily's feet stumbled when she landed on the ground. She looked up and saw that they had landed outside of the entrance to King's Cross Station. Lily let Galen tug her inside and lead her to the barrier and entrance to Platform 9 and ¾. She curled her fingers around his.

" Together," she whispered. There was a touch of concern and fear in her voice. But Galen's small smile cleared her mind of fear.

" Together," he answered. Lily smiled and ran into the wall with her hands curled around Galen's. She closed her eyes and heard a train whistle. Lily opened them and saw that they were standing on the platform to the Hogwarts Express. She could see the glossy paint of the train. Lily could see students she knew and ones she didn't. Lily ducked behind Galen when she saw Mulciber and Yaxley.

She and Galen walked to the middle of the platform. She turned and faced him at the same time as he did. Lily looked into his sky-blue eyes and saw a gleam of sorrow in them. She wrapped her arms around Galen's neck and he pulled her close. Their hearts beat in a pattern, but not in sync.

" Rose be careful make sure you eat your vegetables," Galen said in a serious voice. Lily knew he was joking, but that didn't keep her eyes from tearing up. Galen looks at her in a panic.

" I'm kidding Rosie! You can eat all the chocolate and pomegranates you want," Galen exclaimed. Lily laughed and blinked her tears away.

" I'm not sad you lovable oaf. I'm just going to miss you a hell of a lot Gale," Lily answered. Galen tucked a strand of her hair behind her neck.

" I'll miss you more. Don't worry Rose I'll write to you the minute I get back from this mission," Galen assured. Lily tugged on the button of his shirt.

" Last time you went on a mission you almost died," Lily murmured.

" If it makes you feel better I'll bring a compass this time. Rose don't worry I got my apparition license last week. I'm not going to stumble around in the woods anymore," Galen assured. Lily looked up and could see the care and honesty in his eyes. She sighed and pulled him into a tight hug. She heard the train whistle; they only had ten minutes left.

" You better not die. Cause if you do I'll come up to heaven to curse your hair off," Lily threatened. She could hear the vibrations of Galen's laugh. She looked up and stared into his eyes. He was her sun; he kept her from being stuck in the dark. He gave her the light she needed to survive.

Lily leaned up and caught his lips in a kiss. He put almost as much passion as she did into it. It was like kissing the sea and freedom all in one. Lily decided that Galen Kingsmill was really her closet and best friend. He kissed her back and she tasted like sunshine and freedom.

But neither of them knew that as they pulled apart from the kiss, two people's hearts broke. James Potter stood ten feet to Lily's left and watched the love of his life kiss a man in gold auror robes. Michael Wood stood ten feet to Lily's right and clenched his fists as the girl who broke his heart kissed a complete stranger.

When Lily broke away from Galen's lips he grinned down at her and she grinned up at him. The two burst into loud laughter that caught attention of most of the people on the platform.

" Rose you're a hell of a snog. Friends," Galen proposed. Lily grinned and hugged him one last time.

" Of course we're friends. But I've been wondering all summer what it's like to kiss you. You're a pretty good snog Gale," Lily teased. Galen grinned at her as she moved out of his hold reluctantly. They were friends and nothing more. Sometimes a friendship is just fate.

" Stay safe Rose," Galen finished. Lily nodded at him and turned to the train. She weaved in between teary families and students. Lily turned her head every few seconds to make sure that he was still there. Galen never left. Lily blinked and wrapped her arms around her chest as she boarded the train. She didn't look back even though she wanted to. Lily didn't need to look back, Galen smiled at her retreating figure and apparated from the platform with a pop.

Lily navigated through the narrow hallways when the train moved with a lurch She made her way to the Prefect's compartment at the front of the train. She could see some familiar faces. Most people didn't seem to recognize her. They stared at her in confusion. Lily slipped in between Amos Diggory and Melissa Stevies. She entered the Prefect compartment and saw that the prefects were sitting in groups regarding their houses around a large table. People were still coming in, but Lily could clearly see Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewitt in the front of the room.

Alice's hair was cut harshly around her chin. She rubbed her arm and Lily could see a bandage coating it from a distance. Frank's hair was cropped short and he limped. Lily gulped when she saw the shadows under their eyes and the taut condition of their skin.

She felt someone shove her and she fell forward. Lily braced herself for the ungraceful fall, which never came. Someone grabbed her and shoved her upright harshly. Lily looked up and jumped back. Michael Wood was watching her with morose eyes. They quickly became cold and he turned from her.

" Try not to be such a walking catastrophe Evans," Michael announced loudly. Silence filled the Prefect compartment as the prefects turned to the two Gryffindors. Every single one of them heard about the kidnapping that Michael and Lily underwent. Most of them had made bets to see when they would start dating. Michael's harsh tone surprised all of them.

Green eyes stare into brown ones. Memories of agony and torture gleamed in both. But nether of the owners were aware of this. The green eyes blinked slowly. Their owner's lungs were struggling for a breath. As Lily closed her eyes she saw Michael's mangled body. Bloody and open wounds covered his chest.

Lily drew in a sharp breath and swayed. Her fists clenched shut for a millisecond and the crowd of prefects watched the pair. Michael's eye lit up with concern, which faded when Lily opened hers and walked pass him. The pain and horrible memories she could feel were pushed away.

Lily sat in one of the few empty seats towards the back. Michael glanced at her before heading to his seat in the front next to Emmeline and Adam. Lily realized that they must have replaced Frank and Alice as the Gryffindor prefects. People glanced back and forward from Lily and Michael. Lily listened to Frank and Alice start speaking. But their voices faded.

It made sense for Michael to be prefect. He was the only male 6th year Gryffindor left at Hogwarts; there was no other option. Lily dreaded the idea of patrols with him. She looked around the table. Most of the seventh and sixth years were familiar to her. She recognized the 5th year Gryffindors but none of the others. Lily looked for a head of golden hair and was met with nothing. She bit her lip just as the door slammed open.

All of the prefects turned to the door. Remus Lupin stood in the doorway with his shirt askew. A fresh bandage coated his arm and Lily winced at his pale expression.

" Lupin this is a prefect meeting, not some marauder galore. I would appreciate if you could get your friend Gastor to show up," Frank announced with a solemn expression. Whispers broke around the table at the mention of the Gastor family. Students wondered what the perfect golden boy Cassius Gastor must have done to not be headboy. They wondered where Jason Gastor was. Remus gulped and tugged at the neckline of his shirt.

" That's the thing though, Jason isn't a prefect anymore, he handed his badge to the headmaster at the end of last year. I'm the Slytherin 6th year prefect," Lupin explained. Gasps and loud shouts broke over the table. People screamed and demanded to know what happened. Lupin shrugged.

" His brother transferred schools and he wasn't up to being a prefect this year. Give him a break; half of his family died in the last year," Lupin exclaimed. Silence filled the room; the students almost forgot about their old headboy's tragic death.

" Lupin take a seat you've interrupted this meeting enough," Alice supplied. Remus nodded and looked around the table for a free seat. Lily paled; the only free seat was the one next to her. She tensed as Lupin sat next to her. Lily closed her yes and heard the screams of children and the howl of a werewolf.

" Oi Evans! The headgirl asked you a question," a voice sneered. Lily's eyes bolted open and she looked up. A blush crawled up her skin as she saw that most of the table was watching her. She could hear the laughter of Melissa Stevies and Gemma Runcorn.

" I'm sorry could you repeat that," Lily asked. Alice watched her with hawk eyes and cleared her throat.

" We need two volunteers to do an extra patrol route do to new safety precautions does anyone want to," Alice asked with a grim expression. Lily raised her hand at the same time that Michael did. Their hands shot down when they realized that no one else wanted to do the patrol. Alice glanced at them with concern.

" Michael and Lily then," Alice said feverously. Lily opened her mouth to object but Michael leapt up before she could.

" No I can't patrol with her," Michael shouted. Lily blushed and eyes looked at her in curiosity. Lily looked down; she didn't know that Michael was really that hurt. Luckily for her someone else stood.

" It's okay Wood, I'll take the patrol with Evans," Lupin said. Lily paled and looked up. Remus was standing and facing Michael with a grim expression. Michael sneered at him.

" Isn't it too disgusting for you to interact with a muggleborn," Michael jeered. Lily choked back a gasp and heard whispers break across the room. Lupin glared at Michael.

" Not if it's for a fellow marauder. I'll take the extra patrol with Evans then," Lupin suggested. Frank frowned and looked towards Lily.

" Is that okay with you," he asked. Lily nodded and stared at him.

" Anything is better than Michael," Lily pleaded. She winced when she realized what she said. Lily heard a thud and looked up. Michael's eyes stared into hers. He gulped and clenched his fists.

" That's not what I meant," Lily objected. Michael's eyes flashed with anger. Lily could see his muscles protesting against the bandages around his chest.

" I think it is Evans," Michael scoffed. He stood and left the room with a loud slam. The prefects broke into gossip, which Alice and Frank soon quelled. After the completion of the meeting, Lily left the compartment before the other Gryffindors could corner her.

Loud laughter and joyful voices surrounded Lily. Her feet carried her to the back of the train. Lily ducked her head when she entered Slytherin territory. She could hear obnoxious giggling and ignored it. Lily clenched her fists and ducked her head. Fumes of alcohol and smoke entered her. Lily ignored them and moved to the end of the compartment. She breathed with relief when she was in the last train car.

Her feet carried her to the door and she pulled it open. Lily stood on the small outdoor area of the train. She could hear the wheels grind against the metal of the rails. Lily let the door shut and leaned against it.

She closed her eyes and slid to the ground of the compartment. Lily was too weak; she couldn't go through with her plan. It was so painful to push her friends away. Lily shivered when memories that she shoved away returned.

She could remember the last time she stood on this ground. Lily's eyes bolted up and automatically looked for ashes of the letter from her mum. She could remember her mum's handwriting and the words clearly, but Lily wished that she kept the letter. She missed her mum. Lily hadn't craved the sound of her mum's voice in over six years. A gust of warm summer air hit her. The bracelet she wore slapped against her thin wrist.

She failed. Delphina Gastor gave up her sole daughter so she could have a future. Lily remembered the vision she had of her mum. She should have listened to her, she should have left before she ever got those letters. Lily should have never come to England.

But there was nothing she could do. Lily was forced to live with her actions. She was tricked into a cage. She had seven months until the door shut. Lily planned to do everything in her power to escape it.

She looked around the train. Life went on. Birds flew overhead and the sun continued to shine. Life wouldn't stop because of her own tragedies. Lily knew that. She would live with the consequences of her actions. Lily didn't smile. She watched the sun and the sky for hours.

Lily could see darkness encroaching on the world. She watched the sun fade into a corner of the sky. It was dusk; a time for closure. Lily could see the atmosphere shift to the Scottish surroundings. They were close to the castle. Lily looked down at her sundress and cursed. She forgot to change!

Her feet carried her inside. Lily noticed that the hallway of the last train car was empty. She found an empty compartment and locked the door. After closing the curtain to the door's window, Lily grabbed a fresh uniform from her bracelet. She slipped into the socks and skirt. Her body was encased in the button down shirt and a gold and red scarf wrapped her neck. Lily's feet were covered by socks, which reached her mid-thigh and a pair of shiny Mary Jane shoes. Lily left her hair down and sealed the prefect's badge to her shirt. Lily brushed her hair quickly and felt the train stop. She grabbed her wand and tripped on something.

Her body fell to the floor and Lily squealed. She felt her arm hit something. A groan escaped her mouth and she pulled herself up; only to cut her hand on the sharp object that she landed on. Lily stood and felt pain jolt through her right arm and hand. She groaned and looked down. Lily's eyes enlarged at the sight of the bloody knife at the bottom of the train compartment. How did she miss it? She picked it up by the hilt and wiped the blood off. Her blood smeared with the dried blood on the blade. A coat of arms was on the knife. Lily tried to see it, but her blood and the dried blood blocked her view.

Lily heard the train whistle and cursed. Her arms were coated with blood, but she didn't have time to heal them. Lily grabbed the bloody, smeared knife and tapped her bracelet with her wand. She grabbed an old shirt from it and wrapped the knife inside the shirt. Lily tucked the wrapped knife into her bracelet and grabbed her wand from a bench.

She heard the train whistle twice. Lily opened the door and bolted out the door. She jumped on the platform just as the train started off to London. Lily could see carriages heading up the pathway to Hogwarts. She held her wand in her blood stained hands and sprinted to the carriages. Only one remained and the door was starting to close.

" Wait," Lily shouted. She ran to the carriage and yanked the door open. The inhabitants of the compartment stared at her as she slid into the last available seat. The door shut behind her and Lily felt the carriage move.

" Lily what happened to you," a voice asked. Lily looked up and met the gold eyes of her brother. She was hoping not to see him. Her eyes noticed the other members of the carriage. It was a bloody Marauders' Reunion. Black sat next to Lupin drinking a bottle that looked suspiciously like firewhiskey. Lupin was covered in scars. Next to Jason was the owner of a pair of hazel eyes.

Lily gulped as she met the eyes of James Potter. Gold and green swirls spiraled into a hazel center. Lily licked her lips and looked at Potter. He looked bigger, if possible all of the Marauders did. His hair was still a chaotic mess and he wore his square glasses. But something was different about him. He had a dark aurora around him. His tan skin looked almost pale as he looked at Lily. His eyes were wide as he stared at her blood-covered arms.

Lily blushed and rubbed the thick cut on her arm. She smeared the blood and it fell onto her white shirt in a crimson droplet. Lily bit her lip and looked up to Jason.

" I err I tripped," Lily mumbled. She felt someone move next to her and looked up. Jason grabbed her left arm and tsked. He muttered a spell and the blood disappeared. Lily could see the jagged cut twist around her arm.

" I don't think you can rip open your arm from tripping," Jason answered. Lily bit her lip and looked down. Her hair fell around her in a curtain.

" Oi Prongs come here you've always been better at healing spells than me," Jason announced. Lily looked up and her cherry-red blush was clear for the entire world to see. Her eyes turned to Potter and he looked at her with thinly veiled concern. Lily glanced at Black and Lupin. Black was asleep against Lupin and Lupin was engrossed in a thick book.

She felt Jason shift to her other side and watched as Potter kneeled in front of her. His Adam's apple bobbed, as he looked straight into her eyes. His hand reached for her left arm and she let him take it. While he curled his large and tan hands curled around her pale ones Jason took her right hand and cleaned the blood from it.

Lily noted that her skin was pale. She seemed to have lost that golden glow she worked so hard for during the summer. Yet it was only temporary. Lily thought that her blood loss may have been a factor in that. Jason's fingers traced patterns into the palm of her hand as Potter analyzed her arm.

A whimper of pain escaped her as Potter prodded his wand to her wound. Immediately his eyes looked up. Lily could see torment in them. She wondered what caused that. Lily looked down and hid her blush. She heard Jason clear his throat.

" Prongs I'll be over there with Moony," Jason announced. Lily felt him move her hand to her side. Her cut was bleeding slowly. Potter barely noticed him. A shiver broke out on Lily's neck as Potter moved closer to her. He stood directly between her legs and caressed her arm carefully.

Lily heard him murmur something. She sucked in a breath as his wand sent a spell at her arm. The cut started to heal. Within seconds the large, gaping whole was gone and replaced by a thin pink line. Lily knew that within minutes that line would fade to nothing. Her skin would be blemish free once again.

Potter lifted her left arm and let it rested on her side. He reached for her right hand and tugged her fingers from a clenching formation. He choked back a gasp that Lily barely heard. She watched him clean the fresh blood from her hand. His fingers rubbed her hand soothingly as his wand poked the cut.

His mouth opened and a husky spell escaped from it. Lily almost retracted her hand from his grip when her hand felt as though it had turned into a firework. But his hands held hers so gently that she didn't.

Lily watched as the wound closed and her hand was left without a blemish. She waited for Potter to move away but he didn't. His hands played with her hand and he looked up into her eyes. His eyes were dark and filled with an emotion that Lily was sure was in her eyes.

He held her hand in his left hand while his right hand moved to her wand. He held it and cleaned the blood from it with a quick spell. Lily felt him place it in her lap and his gaze was fully focused on her. Lily ducked down and let her hair surround her.

Potter's fingers brushed strands from her face in a gentle pattern. Lily looked up when his thumb circled her cheek. Her heart pounded against her chest in a frenzy of activity. It wanted something; it wanted more. But Lily remembered her mum's journal and drew a shaky intake.

She pulled her hand away from Potter's hands and shoved her body against the back of her seat. She crossed her arms and kept her chest from breaking. Lily stared at Potter with utter hatred and destestment. She didn't expect Potter's reaction. He blinked and recomposed his concerned face. A wicked grin graced his handsome face and he ran a hand through his hair. Potter stood and the carriage stopped moving.

Black fell over and cursed loudly. Potter turned from her and helped his friend up. Lily stood and made to move. But Black and Lupin shoved passed her. Lily fell on the seat and Jason sent her an apologetic face as he exited the carriage. Lily glared at him and moved her arms. She used her seat to pull her body into a standing position. Lily walked out of the carriage and heard a loud grunt.

She turned and saw the Threstals. Lily's blank face faltered as she moved towards the large beasts. She stood to one's side and moved her arm to its side. It stared at her with a fierce expression. It seemed to dare her to touch it. Lily gulped and gave the Threstal a soft pat. She sucked in a breath and her eyelids fluttered. A bolt of lightening seemed to hit her hand when she touched the Threstal.

Lily pulled her hand back and moved backwards. She hit a hard chest and turned with a pale face. Her wand was pointed at the person behind her. Lily remembered the last time she pointed a wand at this person. She concentrated and pushed those memories away. Potter looked down at her. He seemed fine with their close proximity.

Lily glared at him and his face pulled into a lazy smile. Lily shoved him and walked by him. She looked up and was met with the large castle. Butterflies spewed from her stomach as she smiled at the castle. Lily was home; she didn't need Galen when she had Hogwarts. A smile crossed her face as she moved to walk up the stairs to the entrance hall.

A pair of hands grabbed her from behind and pushed her to their owners. Lily's face met a solid chest and she looked up. Lily felt so safe, but as she met the cocky smirk of James Potter she tried to push that feeling away. Her body struggled against his hold and his smirk only widened.

Her body slumped against him when she realized that he wasn't going to do anything. Lily looked up and saw the moon sitting high in the sky. Stars gleaned around it. She felt Potter's fingers tug at her hair and she wrinkled her nose. Why did Potter feel the need to toy with her?

Lily checked her watch and groaned internally. They were late to the feast. McGonagall would probably give her a detention. Lily only hoped that it wouldn't be with Potter when she remembered their last detention together. She shrugged her body out of Potter's grip and turned to the staircase.

Lily started to move up it when Potter appeared in front of her. His eyes were smug as he grinned wickedly at her. Lily glared at him and moved around him. This continued for a few minutes, but Lily refused to speak or even hex him. She didn't want him to think that she cared.

Just as she reached the entrance hall, Potter grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. It was just like she remembered. Fireworks and lightning seemed to explode in her mouth as Potter's moved against hers. Just as his tongue slipped into hers Lily pulled away from him. She scowled and straightened her tie and hair. Potter grinned at her through his lidded eyes and tousled look. Unlike Potter, Lily did not prefer for the entire hall to think that she had just shagged him.

Lily glared at him and opened the large door to the hall. She moved inside and he followed. His crisp voice broke the silence as he moved in front of her.

" Lily I just thought you should know this, but I'm highly aware of our impending marriage. I'm looking forward to seeing if you're as resilient in the bed as you are in life," Potter murmured in her ear.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before disappearing before Lily's eyes. She closed her eyes and felt her chest start to break. Lily wrapped her arms around it and rocked back and forward on her heels. She blinked away the tear coming from her eye. Potter couldn't know about their marriage! Why didn't he try to contact her over summer break if he was so eager to be with her?

Lily sighed and pushed those thoughts away. She didn't have either the time or the mindset to deal with this anymore. She had a feast to be late to. Lily walked to the open entrance to the Great Hall. She could see a large group of first years in the front of the hall. One by one, they made to move towards the sorting hat.

Lily's lips pursed when she recalled her own experience with the hat. It said she was worthy of Godric Gryffindor's bravery but she wasn't too sure of that. Some eyes turned to her in curiosity. She watched as a group of Ravenclaws, including Justin Davies, traced her figure. Lily ignored the people staring at her and moved towards the back of the Gryffindor table.

She could feel the eyes of Professor McGonagall watching her. She looked up and saw that the wise woman's eyes were focused on her bloody shirt. Lily blushed as she looked at her shirt. She didn't notice that the blood from her cuts had stained her shirt in an ugly slash. That was what people were staring at. Lily ducked her head and sat at the edge of the table.

Lily looked around the hall as the sorting took place. She could see her friends sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor table. Michael's eyes glanced at her bloodstained shirt but he glared at her. Lily bit her lip and was forced to look away.

She could see the Hufflepuffs welcoming new students to their table. A few girls giggled and waved at the Slytherin table. Lily's eyes immediately looked to where they were looking. She could see the Marauders sitting in the center of the table smirking at a few girls. They spoke in close whispers and broke apart. It was Black's mischievous grin that worried Lily.

She watched in horror as he turned and faced the Hufflepuff table. His eyes found a small freckly boy and he grinned. Black took his wand out and aimed it at the boy's pants. Lily leaned up and took her wand out. She aimed it at Black and watched his next move.

Black muttered a spell that Lily couldn't heat. She watched as fire surged from his wand and hit the boy's pants. The boy's eyes widened and he screamed, interrupting the sorting ceremony. Students around him screamed and shouted. But Lily wasn't one of them. The fire entranced her.

A breath escaped her mouth in a loud sob. Her eyes were pressed shut and she saw everything. The wicked smile of her kidnapper. Michael's body thrashing out in pain against the stonewall. Her magic was fighting for control in her memory.

Lily groaned and could feel fire and smoke engulfing her. Flames tickled her and she shot up. Lily needed to get out. She needed to run. Her memories engulfed her in a swarm of pain. Memories of pain and agony suffocated her to the point that she didn't notice that Professor Flitwick had put out the flames rising from Cooper Sheldon's pants. She never noticed that half of hall was enraptured in loud conversation. Only one person noticed her struggling against some invisible force.

" Lily," a voice shouted. Lily recognized that voice. She tried to stand but couldn't. Her body fell to the floor when a memory hit her. The pain was too much. Lily groaned and turned to the cold floor of the Great Hall. She felt someone move her and shot up.

" Stop Benjy please stop," Lily moaned. The person holding her flinched but she didn't notice that. Lily was trapped in a cage made of her memories. It hurt so much. The fire coming out of her hands, the fire burning her skin, the fire choking the life out of her.

" Lily it's okay. We're not down there. Lily you're in the Great Hall," a voice exclaimed. Lily felt a spell hit her chest and collapsed against the person holding her. She could breathe; Lily could breathe. Breaths and sobs choked from her lungs.

Lily looked up and met Michael Wood's brown eyes. She could tell that he knew what happened to her. But there was a layer of betrayal in them. Lily shoved him off her and stood. The entire hall was looking at her. She pushed down the blush and faced Michael.

" You may not be down there anymore, but I'm trapped there," Lily told Michael. She turned from him and gulped. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore stood near her and Michael. Michael stood and faced her. Lily averted her face from the curious eyes of the entire hall.

" Miss Evans you need to go to the hospital wing," Professor McGonagall announced. Lily paled at this idea. She couldn't go to a hospital. Mrs. Kingsmill's pale face and Michael's bandaged torso flashed in her mind. Lily felt bile creep up her throat and frowned.

" I'm fine Professor McGonagall. Honestly I forgot to eat lunch today that's all," Lily argued. Her teacher pursed her lips and stared at Lily.

" Miss Evans one doesn't scream with agony from missing a meal," Professor McGonagall pointed out. Before Lily could say anything, Professor Dumbledore interrupted.

" Minerva she's fine for now. Mr. Wood that was quick thinking with your spell work. There is nothing here to be done. Miss Evans you may join the feast. But I ask that you stop by my office before curfew," Professor Dumbledore asked.

" Albus this isn't some small issue. Miss Evans needs to go to the hospital wing," Professor McGonagall argued. Lily could feel curious eyes watching them. She turned to the teachers and cleared her throat.

" Honestly I'm fine. I just have certain issues with fire after what happened in June," Lily begged.

" Then it's settled. The feast will continue and Miss Evans will report to my office afterwards. Mr. Wood please take a seat," Professor Dumbledore announced. Professor McGonagall and him walked back to the front table to finish the sorting.

Lily sat in her original seat and ducked her head. Michael tried to speak to her but she ignored him. He walked back to his seat with his friends. But she could feel a pair of eyes watching her. After the sorting finished, Professor Dumbledore started the feast.

Lily picked at the food on her plate and sighed. She felt someone sit down and his knees brush hers. Lily wrinkled her nose and looked up.

" Michael I told you that I'm fine," Lily declared. She heard a chuckle too deep and dulcet to be Michael's. Lily looked up and met Potter's eyes in a glare.

" It's a good thing that I'm not Wood then," Potter replied. Lily knew that people were watching them but she didn't care. Lily was done caring about stupid rumors and lies.

" Potter wrong table," Lily managed to say. Potter's hand ran through his hair and the girls closest to them sighed. Potter looked at his green and silver tie with a grin.

" I dunno Lily. The hat told me that I'm pretty courageous," Potter teased. Lily gulped and felt his hand reach for hers. She pulled it back and glared at him.

" You must have been drunk," Lily replied drily. Potter watched her with a critical eye.

" I was eleven Lily. I highly doubt that I started drinking before my fifteenth birthday," Potter answered. Lily wrinkled her nose at his usage of her name.

" Don't call me that," Lily grunted. Potter ran a hand through his hair and played with his wand.

" What Lily? Would you prefer if I called you Miss Gastor," Potter mocked. Lily shot up and held her wand at his jugular. He watched her with an amused grin. Lily could feel the stares of people across the hall.

" That's none of your business Potter. Actually I'm none of your business until you turn seventeen. So until then I would advise for you to either call me mudblood or Evans. Otherwise you may lose all of that bloody hair," Lily growled.

Potter narrowed his eyes and stood. He brushed some dirt off his shirt and looked at Lily with a gleam in his eyes. He leaned over to her and moved his mouth close to her ear.

" I'll wait then. It doesn't matter to me. In seven months you will be mine," Potter whispered into her ear. Lily shot up and glared at him. He smirked at her before turning and walking back to the Slytherin table. Lily's heart pounded harshly against her chest. She glared at the gawking students around her and sat down.

After dessert ended, Dumbledore stood and the plates on the tables disappeared. He cleared his throat and silence entered the hall.

" Welcome to Hogwarts. I hope that all of you had an excellent summer, but now it is time to put aside those memories for school. We are living in dark times. This war will engulf everything we love and care for, but we must remember to love and stay together. Due to recent events in June, the school board and I have elected to suspend all Hogsmeade trips, indefinitely," Dumbledore started. Protests broke out across the hall. Lily ignored the stares she was receiving and turned to Dumbledore.

" Enough. I will not allow another student to risk his or her life again. Curfews will be enforced for the school year. Any student caught breaking curfew will be at risk for suspension. I advise for students to travel in groups, remember we are strong in numbers. Mr. Filch would like me to announce that mail and luggage will be checked for dark artifacts. Lastly we have a new addition to the Hogwarts staff. Professor Shacklebolt has decided to leave school and return to the auror department," Dumbledore announced.

Whispers broke out around the hall. Lily looked up to the front table and noticed a tall and poise woman sitting in between Professor Slughorn and Professor Sprout. The woman had elegant chestnut hair, which looked almost red. It was pulled into a sharp ponytail. Her eyes were critical and a rich mahogany. She wore expensive dress robes and had a deep tan. Lily made eye contact with the woman and recognized her.

The woman looked at Lily and smiled wickedly. Lily narrowed her eyes; she knew this woman. At one point in her life she looked up to her. But this Professor betrayed Lily in an unforgivable way. But why was she her? Professor Gladstone was supposed to be doing something rather important.

" Students and faculty please welcome Professor Judea Gladstone," Professor Dumbledore declared. The tall woman stood and the hall clapped for her. But she never broke eye contact with the green-eyed girl sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Lily gulped and looked down. She couldn't relive those memories now. She didn't want to think about how much she owed Judea Gladstone. Professor Gladstone saved her from letting her magic get too powerful.

" Prefects please lead the students to their designated common rooms. May all of you have an excellent school year," Dumbledore announced. Lily stood and looked through the crowd of professors and students for Professor Gladstone.

" Evans we need to help the 5th year prefects lead the first years," Michael announced from behind her. Lily ignored him and stood on her toes. She saw a flash of Professor Gladstone's robes and made her way through the large mass. Lily could hear Michael protesting from behind her but she didn't seem to notice him.

Lily followed Professor Gladstone into an empty hallway. The tall woman walked in a brisk manner.

" Professor Gladstone," Lily shouted. The woman turned and her face paled. Lily jogged up to her and stood in front of the teacher. Her old teacher watched her with critical eyes.

" Lily Gastor, or as Dumbledore calls you Lily Evans. I never thought I'd see you again," Professor Gladstone replied. Her voice twisted around a garbled Greek accent. Lily tugged a strand of her hair and straightened her back.

" I heard that you were in Siberia chasing that death eater," Lily stated. Professor Gladstone nodded and rubbed her arm. Lily could make out a scar stretching from the woman's arm.

" I was in Siberia two years ago. I managed to corner Josiah Crichton in a small village in the Philippines. He took my partner with him," Professor Gladstone revealed. Lily felt relieved; Josiah Crichton was a person from her past who would stay there.

" I'm sorry that your partner died. Why are you here?" Lily asked. Her old teacher looked at her with an amused stare.

" Dumbledore called in a favor. Besides I found a lead here on some of my research regarding the phoenix," Professor Gladstone answered.

" Oh so you're not here for me?" Lily asked. Her old teacher scoffed at this.

" I see that you're still arrogant. No I owed your mother a favor; that's why I helped you out with that magic of yours. How is that going?" Professor Gladstone asked. Lily recalled her experience in June darkly.

" I've got in under control," Lily managed to say.

" It's good to know that I didn't waste two years teaching you then," Professor Gladstone answered. Lily almost forgot her old teacher's brisk and bitter personality.

" Did you want anything in particular besides wasting my time?" Professor Gladstone asked. Lily nodded and looked at her wand. If anyone knew anything about griffins it would be Professor Gladstone.

" What do you know about griffins?" Lily questioned. Gladstone looked at her curiously and replied.

" They're protective beasts that have been used in the past to guard treasure or divine powers. A few centuries ago, most of them began to die out for an unknown reason. Only a few people have ever seen one," Professor Gladstone answered with a curious expression.

Lily nodded. Her teacher didn't know much more than the textbooks she read. Lily checked her watch and cursed. Curfew was in thirty minutes and she still had to meet Dumbledore.

" I'm sorry Professor but I have to go," Lily said. She turned and started to walk towards Dumbledore's office.

" Lily I think you should know that I made sure that Josiah suffered before he died," Professor Gladstone called out. Lily bit her lip and felt bile crawl up her throat. She had a taste of Judea Gladstone's twisted torture once and she almost pitied Josiah Crichton. Then she remembered what the horrible man did.

" Good he deserved it all," Lily finished. She walked from her old teacher and headed up the staircase. Lily shoved the thoughts of her past in Greece away. She didn't know how to feel about Josiah Crichton's death. She couldn't show her true feelings in front of Professor Gladstone, which was too risky.

Lily sighed and made her way to the statue of the griffin. She cursed when she realized that Dumbledore never told her the password. Lily crossed her arms and glared at the statue.

She heard footsteps and looked up. Professor Dumbledore walked closer to her with a grim expression.

" Miss Evans thank you for coming. Now let us adjourn to my office. Ice mice," Dumbledore vocalized. The griffin in front of Lily spiraled up and a staircase appeared. Her feet pounded against the stone of the stairs behind Dumbledore's. When the pair reached the office, Dumbledore moved in front of a large cabinet and used his wand to remove a large bowl-like thing from the cabinet. He propelled it towards his desk and let it rest there.

" Miss Evans do you know what this object is," Dumbledore questioned. Lily bit her lip and shook her head. He smiled at her and motioned for her to move forward.

" This is my personal Pensieve. A Pensieve is a device used to look through old memories. I've called you to my office since I owe you an explanation," Dumbledore replied. Lily nodded and watched him place the tip of his wand to his temple. A silver mist pulled from his head and he shuddered.

The wand carried it over to the basin of the Pensieve and dropped it inside. Lily could see the memory swirl inside of the bowl.

" Professor what are you going to show me," Lily asked. Dumbledore turned to her with a determined expression.

" I am showing you the first encounter I had with a certain wizard. This wizard would later go on to do some extraordinary things, for the worse," Dumbledore answered. Lily repressed a groan. She should have been grateful for this experience; but Lily didn't have the heart for it. She was frankly not in the mood to deal with Dumbledore's cryptic messages.

Dumbledore saw her expression and his eyes twinkled. Lily sighed and leaned over the basin at the same time as Dumbledore. She gasped and felt her body tug into the bowl. Wind whirled around her and she flew. Lily couldn't see anyone or anything. But the feeling of falling from the sky was exhilarating.

---

Her feet landed on the ground with a loud thud. Lily's eyes opened and she stared at the location in confusion. She was still in Dumbledore's office. Lily frowned and looked around. Daylight streamed through the curtains. Lily could hear Professor Dumbledore's phoenix cawing on its perch.

She smiled and moved towards the bird. Its feathers gleamed. But the bird didn't seem to notice Lily. Lily tried to touch it, but couldn't. Her hand slipped right through the bird. Lily narrowed her eyes. But before she could do anything, the loud footsteps coming up the stairs made her turn.

Three boys came up the stairs. An older boy followed them with a poorly concealed proud expression. Lily watched as a younger version of Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn followed the proud boy. Lily gaped at Professor Dumbledore walking out from the stairs. His face held less wrinkles and his beard was shorter.

Professor McGonagall glared at the three boys with a disdained expression. Lily moved closer and got a view at the boys. She stood close to the one on the right. He had thick glossy black hair and stormy gray eyes. He smirked at the floor. Lily swore that this boy looked like a younger version of Sirius Black.

The boy on the left was tall and gangly. Lily blinked at him. She narrowed her eyes and shivered. This boy looked like a younger form of Benedict Auclair. His hair was cut short to his ears and he had the same cerulean eyes that Benjy had. Lily could see his long eyelashes and a dark grin on the boy's face. She pushed the memories of Benjy away and turned to the last boy.

He stood in the middle and did not make an effort to conceal his grin of pride. He had curly gold hair and a pair of mischievous gold eyes. Lily knew that he was young, but something about the boy told Lily that he would be a heart breaker in his future. There was something vaguely familiar about the boy.

Before Lily could further analyze the boys, Professor Dumbledore sat in his desk with a grim expression. Professor Slughorn stood on the right o f the boys and Professor McGonagall stood on their left. The older boy stood behind the gold-haired one with a serious face.

Lily studied this boy. His robes were pressed and looked expensive. Lily could make out a captain's badge resting on his right side. A headboy badge sat on his left chest. The boy was handsome and that was clear. Muscles rippled from the boy's back and his hazel eyes twinkled from behind a pair of square glasses. Lily could see a mop of chaotic hair resting on the boy's head. He looked like Potter.

Yet this man had some difference from Potter. His hands were big and callused. Potter's hands were long and elegant. This boy had a thick jawline, but Potter had a sharp one and high cheekbones. Potter's eyelashes were longer than this man's also. Lily assumed that this man was a relative to the Potter family.

" Professor Dumbledore these boys must explain their actions. Annie Carter was sent to the hospital wing from their supposed prank," Professor McGonagall barked. Lily turned to Professor Dumbledore and saw him examining the boys.

" Mr. Potter, as headboy and captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team I will ask for you to account what occurred on the Quidditch pitch," Professor Dumbledore announced. Lily looked at the older boy with realization; that was Charlus Potter. He was Potter's dad.

" Professor I was hosting try outs for the team this afternoon. I saw Gastor play before and asked him to attend the seeker tryouts. I believe that Black and Auclair were trying out for the beater and chaser positions respectively. Annie Carter was trying out for the seeker position as far as I know. I sent the seekers off after a snitch, and after about five minutes I heard a scream. I looked over and saw Carter falling from the air from near Black. As she fell, Gastor tried to grab her but his fingers slipped. I was too late and she landed on the ground with a thud," Charlus recited. His voice was drawled and in a black monotone.

" Mr. Potter is prejudiced! Why was Mr. Black even near Miss Carter from the start?" Professor McGonagall scoffed. Lily turned to the boy on the right.

" I saw her slip from her broom Professor. I flew over to her and made to grab her, but she fell," Orion Black listed. Lily decided that this boy must have been Sirius Black's father.

" Why is Darcy here? He wasn't even at the scene," the gold haired boy demanded. Lily turned to the boy on the left. It was Darcy Auclair! She looked to the golden haired boy and gaped at him. That was her father. The boy was William Gastor, her dad.

" Mr. Gastor if you and Mr. Black are involved in anything then I can only assume that Mr. Auclair is also involved," Professor McGonagall scoffed.

" Professor Dumbledore this is completely idiotic! You're relying on Professor McGonagall's prejudiced opinions to rectify what happened on the pitch, and that is an obvious mistake. Look she just displayed her bigotry," Charlus exclaimed.

" Mr. Potter please calm down. Believe me when I say that I've heard enough of your opinions regarding the Professors at Hogwarts," Dumbledore thundered. Lily could feel an aurora of power surrounding him. He turned to her father.

" William Gastor it is a pleasure to meet you. I would prefer for this not to be under these conditions though," Professor Dumbledore addressed. Lily's father looked up at him with a blank expression.

" My dad talks about you Professor; the pleasure is mine," William said in a confident voice.

" Now did you and Mr. Black shove Miss Carter off her broom," Dumbledore asked. Her father didn't flinch or change his expression.

" No we didn't. Honestly, Carter isn't the best flyer in the world. I saw her fall and Orion tried to help her. She was falling so I ditched the snitch and flew after her," William explained. Dumbledore smiled at him.

" You may be in Slytherin Mr. Gastor but you have the courage of a Gryffindor," Dumbledore commented. A scowl flashed on her father's face but it quickly disappeared.

" So the matter is settled then. Boys you may return to the Slytherin Common Room," Professor Dumbledore announced. Lily watched as the Professors led the boys from the room. After Professor McGonagall bid Professor Dumbledore a goodbye she left with Professor Slughorn. Lily felt herself being tugged from the memory but something made her stay. She turned a corner and saw a sight.

" Black Auclair I need a quick word with Gastor," Charlus Potter barked. The two boys nodded and scurried off to their common rooms. Lily saw her dad looked down and Potter turn to him.

" Will I can't cover up your bloody pranks all the time," Charlus exclaimed.

" I know that Charlus! It's just that me and Orion were offended that a half-blood like Carter would even bother to tryout for the team," Lily's dad responded. Lily felt disappointment fill her. Even at such a young age her father was so prejudiced.

" Look Will, I'm only helping you out since Marie, your sister, is my girlfriend. I know how close your family is. I'm planning on proposing to her soon," Charlus sighed. There was a concerned gleam to Charlus Potter's eyes. Lily's dad looked at him curiously.

" Why are you so sad about it? I though you and Marie were going well," Lily's dad asked. Charlus blinked and a scowl crossed his face.

" Marie is great. She's a prefect and not to mention loves quidditch almost as much as I do. It's just that she's been feeling ill lately," Charlus explained. A confused expression crossed William Gastor's face. The older boy chuckled and ruffled William's golden locks.

" Don't worry Will. Marie and I will be fine and you're too young to worry about love. Have you got your eyes on any girls?" Charlus asked at an attempt to change the conversation. Lily's dad's face lit up.

" Well there's this one girl. She's in Ravenclaw; and she is bloody great. The problem is that I think Darcy likes her too. Her name is Rosaline Whitewood," William sighed with a dreamy face. Lily looked at her dad with a curious expression. She remembered reading about her dad liking her Aunt Rose in the letter Darcy Auclair left her. Yet she never thought that the attraction started so early.

Lily looked at Charlus Potter. He looked down at the young boy with a fond expression; similar to how one would look at their little brother.

" Whitewoods are a good family Will. Good for you. Maybe when you're older I'll teach you some of my tricks to get the girls," Charlus teased. Lily's dad nodded and Charlus checked the time.

" I better take you back to the common room before curfew. Marie wants me to meet her in the Head's dorms," Charlus finished. Lily watched as the two boys turned around the corner and walked off in the distance.

Suddenly something seemed to grab her and pull her out of the memory. Lily was thrown up and leaned up. She gasped and rapidly blinked. Lily could see that she was in Professor Dumbledore's office in the present day.

---

She turned and met Professor Dumbledore's eyes. He smiled lightly at her and moved the Pensieve back to its cabinet with a flick of his wand. Lily cleared her throat and he looked up at her.

" Who were you meeting for the first time that day?" Lily asked. Dumbledore placed his wand down and moved behind his desk.

" That was the day I met William Gastor, your father. I believed him that day you see. That was before he broke the delicate gift of trust that I gave him. It was only years later that I discovered from Charlus Potter that he had covered Orion Black and William Gastor's attempt to get Miss Carter disqualified from tryouts," Dumbledore explained.

Lily gulped and stared at his desk. Her father wasn't so petty to do something like that. She knew he was confident and wouldn't need to strike out competition.

" Miss Evans you must understand something. When people are young they are foolish and innocent. It takes adulthood to shape someone. Your father was one of those people. He grew up believing that blood defined a person, rather than who the person was. Yet he never outgrew that belief. With time and tragedy he moved pass the petty methods of his bigotry; he decided to make a difference by joining Voldemort's cause," Dumbledore listed in a grim tone.

Lily looked at him curiously. She had a question a question that wouldn't leave her alone.

" Professor in that memory, Charlus Potter said something about a Marie," Lily stated in a curious voice. Dumbledore's face became sympathetic. A sadness that seemed ancient filled him.

" Marie Elizabeth Gastor, she was different from your family. She was your dad's oldest and only sister. She passed away during the Christmas Holiday of that year. I believe that she was emitted to St. Mungos with Spattergroit on Christmas day, she didn't live to see the new year. Charlus was devastated," Dumbledore explained. Pain crossed his face and Lily felt a surge of sympathy.

" My dad never mentioned her. He only told me that he named me for his dead sister," Lily said.

" Marie Gastor was a Gryffindor you see. She unlike her family was willing to accept the fact that the Gastor family descends from Godric Gryffindor. She was a truly brave woman," Dumbledore responded.

" Professor I appreciate what you showed me, but why did you do it?" Lily asked.

" Miss Evans you are aware of your mother's involvement in the Order of the Phoenix. I knew Delphina Gastor for more than 25 years. She was an extraordinary woman. Before her death, she requested a favor from me. If you were to ever return to England and find out about your betrothal, she wanted you to understand why she gave you up," Dumbledore enlightened.

Lily looked down to hide her blush. She felt so guilty for neglecting her responsibilities with the Order. Dumbledore watched her with an empathetic expression.

" Miss Evans do not feel shame for leaving England. Your stay in Greece may seem petty now, but it gave you the closure you needed to accept the way your life ended up," Dumbledore said. Lily drew in a quick breath and felt tears come to her eyes. She laughed and blinked them away. Lily wouldn't waste another tear on James Potter.

" I'm sorry Professor I don't know why I'm crying," Lily croaked. Dumbledore looked at her with something close to empathy, but how could he ever understand her pain.

" Lily it's okay to cry sometimes. Freedom deserves tears," Dumbledore proclaimed. Lily looked up at him and stifled a sob.

" Is there anyway for me to get out of it," Lily beseeched. She couldn't say what was happpening to her. But it was okay; Dumbledore seemed to understand. Dumbledore shook his head and she nodded tightly.

" Lily we can't always choose the way fate plays out, but we can choose our own destiny," Dumbledore said. That sentence would become Lily's savior. For months it would sit in her memory, only to be reawakened one summer day.

That saying would save her. Lily may have not understood what it meant on September 1st 1976, but she would eventually learn what the difference between fate and destiny was. Lily's life didn't end from Bellatrix Lestange's killing curse the following summer since she was ready to choose her destiny.

Sometimes there is a destiny laid out for people, but it is up to them to choose their own destiny. Fate works itself around whatever path one chooses. Lily's life would change the day she realized that she didn't need to let the world control her. She would realize that the cage she was in could be opened from the inside. Lily would be free, and it all came down to one quick decision.

If Sirius Black hadn't chosen to light muggleborn, Cooper Sheldon on fire then Lily wouldn't have had a panic attack in the Great Hall. Dumbledore would have never showed Lily that memory and started a yearlong memory viewing session with her. If Dumbledore kept the memory showing off until the following year like he planned then Lily would have died before ever seeing that first memory.

Thankfully Sirius Black lit Cooper Sheldon's pants on fire.

---

Lily tightened her ponytail and watched as Marlene left the locker room. She pulled the captain's badge out of her pocket and fastened it to her robes. Lily tied her laces on and grabbed her broom from its perch near her locker. She shut the door to her locker and pushed her wand into the hemline of her shorts. Lily tugged on the straps of her uniform and slid her gear on. She felt bad for blocking Marlene out, but she couldn't take any risks.

Lily sighed and walked out of the locker room. The warm sun hit her skin and she squinted at the light. A crowd stood in the center of the pitch. The other members of the Gryffindor team stood a few feet away from them. The stands were filled with curious students and envious ones.

Since Lily had spent the previous day glaring at everybody no one paid too much attention to her. Yet one of the students trying out for the Keeper position saw the gold gleam on her chest and shoved his friend to look at it.

Shouts and whispers broke out across the pitch as people realized that muggleborn Lily Evans was the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain. Lily was annoyed by Hogwart's obsession with Quidditch.

Let's back track for a minute to the topic of Quidditch at Hogwarts. Quidditch was one of the most anticipated events at the school. The adrenaline and rush of the sport had gotten it international acclaim. But at Hogwarts, Quidditch was more than just a sport; it was a lifestyle. Members of the house teams were treated like deities. Illegally gambling took place over games. Girls were given an opportune time to ogle the male Quidditch players at their practices.

Houses did anything to protect and verify the safety of their teams. Students were chose to be used as bodyguards for the players before matches. Hexes and jinxes were thrown widely across the hall. Yet it wasn't only the students obsess with the sport. The teachers held a certain fondness for matches. Professor McGonagall could be often found proudly looking at the overflowing trophy cabinet in the Gryffindor Common Room.

The members of the teams loved the spotlight for the most part. People such as James Potter and Amos Diggory basked in a victory. Michael Wood had rumors of his pregame rituals being rather raunchy. The Gastor family's legacy on the pitch had no competition. Rumors were saying that scouts from Puddlemere United and the Applebee Arrows were attending matches to watch players like the Prewitt twins and Justin Davies.

So when Michael Wood announced that he was unable to play or captain the Gryffindor Quidditch team at the start of the school year due to his injuries not being healed yet, chaos broke out. Slytherins watched members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team slyly. Bets were made to see who was the new captain. Fangirls cried and bemoaned the loss of Michael Wood's participation on the pitch.

Most assumed that the new captain would be either Adam McKinnon or Gideon Prewitt. After the day of the welcoming feast, the weekend was spent with students came up to members of the team demanding to know who the new captain was. Unluckily for them, the team had taken an oath of silence. Marlene McKinnon had even hexed a certain Ravenclaw for asking too many questions.

Lily on the other hand didn't join her friends. She returned from Dumbledore's office late in the night and found that their dormitory had only three beds. Alice's had been removed since she and Frank moved into the Head's dorms. Lily spent the night in a tumultuous sleep. She woke up much earlier than her dorm mates and proceeded to ignore her friends. Michael sent her shooting glares that didn't go unnoticed by the Hogwarts population.

No one approached Lily for entire day of Saturday. She spent most of her time in the library reading up on the unforgivable curses. Her mum had been researching the three curses and Lily decided that in order to discover what her mum was doing she had to continue her mum's research.

Lily flipped to the back of her mum's journal and ignored the entries. Fresh new blank pages formed and Lily smiled at the charm. She used the battered journal to record the information she gathered on the unforgivable curses.

When Lily wasn't in the library with her mum's journal, she was outside setting up plans for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She didn't want to be the captain, she would have preferred if Adam or Gideon was captain, but Dumbledore refused to let her step down when she requested to resign from the position that morning.

Lily knew that Amos Diggory was the Hufflepuff captain. Justin Davies was the captain for Ravenclaw. On Sunday she found out that Potter was captain of the Slytherin team. Gossip circled around the fact that Jason had been the first Gastor to not be Quidditch captain. Gossip circled around Jason. Thanks to tabloids, most of the wizarding world was aware that Cassius and Pericles left the permanently country. With Jason being the last Gastor to stay in England, he was declared the current heir.

Lily felt bad for him. He was alone and seemed to give up on everything. She still hadn't spoken to him since their carriage ride, but she could see him in the hallways sometimes. He looked so different. He was bigger yet his clothing seemed to hang off his figure. Lily could see dark circles under his eyes, but most of the students at Hogwarts had those.

Since Michael left the team, a new Keeper was needed. Lily set up tryouts for the afternoon of Sunday and posted the announcement on the bulletin of the Gryffindor Common Room anonymously on Sunday morning. She ate a quick breakfast and set an aurora of imposing coldness to the students in the hall.

None of her friends had attempted to confront her. But Lily caught Marlene shooting concerned glances in her direction occasionally. Lily didn't want to do this, but she had to. Letting her friends get close to her was too dangerous. She left the hall and spent the time until tryouts setting up plans for the team.

Lily entered the girls' locker room ten minutes before tryouts. Marlene glanced at her and opened her mouth.

" Lily what's going on?" Marlene announced. Lily cursed internally.

She ignored Marlene and quickly started to change. Marlene made a few more sorry attempts at conversation but Lily ignored her. After Marlene left, Lily finished changing and headed out to the pitch, taking this to the present situation.

Lily could feel the entire pitch watching her as she walked over to the other members of the team. She turned away from them and faced the twenty or so hopeful Keepers.

" I'm Lily Evans Seeker and Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. If you are planning on playing as the Keeper for this team start by taking ten laps around the pitch," Lily ordered. The students quickly scrambled for their brooms and took to the air.

Lily turned to the other members of the team. They were openly gaping at her. Frank even narrowed his eyes.

" Wood wouldn't tell anyone who he suggested to McGonagall for the captain position but now it makes so much sense. You had him wrapped around your finger last year," Frank sneered. Lily heard the stands silence at their headboy's mockery of the captain. She clenched her jaw and faced the chaser.

" Well I'm captain now even if I'm such an evil bitch. Go and take a lap Longbottom," Lily barked. She could feel a petty rage fill her. Frank scoffed at this and Lily grabbed his collar.

" You lot may not like me anymore," Lily started. She heard someone snort and turned to Adam.

" We can barely tolerate you Evans. Did you even know that Benjy died," Adam asked. Lily pushed down the sadness and despair; she was alone again.

" I was at his bloody funeral. And don't you dare preach about Michael he's the one who got Benjy killed," Lily exclaimed. Her words had the affected purpose. Marlene glared at her and Lily was sure that she was about to jump her.

" Every member of the team needs to certify that they belong here. So go and take a lap otherwise your position on this team will be revoked," Lily ordered. She hated this so much, but she couldn't let her friends get close to her ever again. They glared at her and Fabian spoke up.

"What makes you think that you belong on this team Evans," Fabian demanded. She wondered what Michael must have told them to make them hate her so much.

" I already know that I don't deserve to be here. The rest of you should realize that too," Lily said in a low voice. This silenced the team and they exchanged glances. In a group they shot off to the pitch on their brooms. Lily repressed the sadness coming from her and turned to the stands. She narrowed her eyes at the students pointedly glaring at her. She heard the team and the people trying out stop flying and land.

Lily sent half of the people trying out off the pitch. She sent Marlene and Frank to one of the goals with five of the people trying out. Adam and her went to the other set of hoops with five of the people trying out. They took ten shots on each of the people. Lily sent seven people off the pitch and turned to the last three.

" In order to be a Keeper, you also need to have some skills with throwing the quaffle accurately. In the next exercise you will be shooting on one of the members of the team five times whoever gets the most goals in gets the position," Lily announced. She kept Adam in as the Keeper and set the rest of the team off to practice.

She watched the people trying out attempt to throw the quaffle. But they weren't that good. Lily had Marlene and Frank shoot on Adam to show the people trying out how to play as a Keeper. She was amazed by the clear skill he had. He was much better than any of the people trying out.

An idea hit Lily. It was risky but if it worked then Gryffindor would be secured to win the first game of the year. She ended the tryouts and had the entire team gather in the middle of the pitch. Lily told the three people trying out that they didn't make the team. She asked one of them to get a certain person she saw in the stands down to the pitch. Lily turned to her team. They stared at her in shock, as did the entire pitch.

" The new Gryffindor Keeper is Adam McKinnon," Lily announced. Gideon snorted at this.

" Evans then we don't have a chaser," Gideon said. Lily nodded and heard someone jogging up to them. She grinned and pulled the person into the group. The pitch was watching them with anxious eyes.

" Guys this is our new seeker Trevor Griffiths, his sister plays for the Holyhead Harpies," Lily said in a low voice.

" Evans what about you then?" Frank demanded. Lily smiled with an evil grin.

" I'm taking over for Adam as chaser. If Trevor is anything like his sister, and he told me that he's even better, we've already got the Quidditch Cup," Lily explained. The team shared begrudgingly respected stares. They had seen Lily on the pitch as a chaser before, and knew that she was amazing.

" This stays between the team. As far as anyone knows I'm a loony bint who chose some random fourth year to be Keeper even though he never tried out," Lily ordered. The team nodded and she turned from them.

" Good practice is on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays every week from four to seven until the first match. I'll be holding a private practice with Trevor on Saturday mornings around five if her wants to join," Lily decided. The young boy fervently expressed his wish to play. Lily finished the meeting and sent the team from the pitch. She packed up the equipment with the assistance of a reluctant Marlene.

" Hey Marlene what did Michael say I did?" Lily asked. Marlene looked up in shock and almost dropped the large box she was carrying.

" He umm told us that you were as good as a death eater," Marlene muttered. Lily couldn't the flinch that came from this. She nodded and ducked behind her hair to hide the blush appearing on her cheeks.

" Lily are you a death eater?" Marlene asked suddenly.

" No, but it's not exactly safe for you guys to be friends with me," Lily explained. Marlene snorted.

" Lily we don't care that you are muggleborn. I guess it must be strange since all of us are purebloods, but we're not like Black and the other Slytherins," Marlene expressed with concerned eyes. Lily looked at her as they dropped the large cases in the broom shed.

" I know that Marlee. It has nothing to do with my blood status. It's more like I'm a bomb and if I keep being your friend it's going to hurt more when I explode," Lily admitted wryly.

" Lils friends are the people willing to be there when someone explodes. I don't care how much it kills me to see you explode; you're my friend and right now we both need a friend. Benjy and Dorcas are dead. Every person in my dorm since first year is either dead or missing. Next year it's just going to be you, Michael, and me left in our year. That's not even the worst part. Black turns seventeen in December. I'll legally be his property in December and that is killing me. I'm only lucky that Adam managed to talk my parents into postponing our wedding until after school ends. Lily this war took so much from me. I can't lose my best friend now," Marlene begged.

Lily could see tears forming in her friend's eyes. If anyone would understand what she was going through it would be Marlene. Lily brushed some dust off her robes and enveloped Marlene into a tight hug. Her friend sobbed into her shoulder and Lily rubbed her back soothingly.

" It'll be alright Marlee, I'm not going anywhere. Black will have deal with me if he tries to do anything to you," Lily vowed. Marlene wrapped her arms around Lily and smiled weakly.

" Lily where were you during the summer? What happened to you?" Marlene asked. Lily bit her lip. She could trust Marlene. Lily could tell Marlene the truth. She could tell Marlene everything. She couldn't tell Michael everything. He had feelings for her. If he knew that James Potter would practically own her by spring, Lily was scared about what Michael would do.

" Marlene I'm going to tell you something but you're probably never going to trust me again," Lily started. She pulled out of her friend's hold.

" Meet me in the library after dinner ends. I'll be waiting near the section where pureblood history books are," Lily announced.

" Okay I'll meet you then," Marlene agreed. After that, the two girls headed up to the castle. Marlene went to the Great Hall to eat and Lily went up to their dorm to shower. After that she headed to the library and went directly to the wizarding family sections.

A glance at the clock told her that she had thirty minutes until Marlene would show up. Lily walked over to the section and slid her finger across the binding of the books. She pulled out her own family history book and went over to a table. Lily flipped the book open and immediately went to the middle. She pulled on a flap and the page expanded. As she looked through names dating back from 1000 A.D., Lily wasn't' surprised to see a few recognizable last names. She gulped when she saw the Potter name a few centuries before the current day. Her eyes went to the bottom and Lily felt her heart falter.

The books were charmed to update according to a family's position. So the fact that the dates of her parents' and deceased brothers were already recorded shouldn't have bothered her. Yet as Lily looked at the word deceased written in elegant cursive next to the names of half of her family, she couldn't suppress the pang of sadness.

Lily didn't want to worry for her family, but she had no choice. Blood is blood, and a part of Lily would always be a Gastor. She knew that Pericles would be okay. He was building a life in Greece; he was letting go of his past in England. She didn't know how Cassius was doing. He didn't have the loud and bold personalities of Jason and Julius. He was quiet and preferred a book to a conversation. But it was the little quirks about the Gastor family that made Lily love them.

Thinking of Jason brought shame to her. Lily may have renounced herself as a Gastor but that didn't mean that she should have been so cruel to her brother. At one point Jason was her best friend. Unlike their other brothers, Lily and Jason were not a year or even a decade apart. Since Lily was born prematurely, she and Jason had a six-month gap. Lily had never heard the gruesome story of the reason for her birth. Her parents told her that they didn't know if she would even live through the labor. But Lily did to their immense relief.

So many things separated Lily from her other brothers. She was the youngest of six children with the oldest being thirteen years older than her. Her brothers were also boys. They weren't immature and sexist, yet they couldn't include little Lily in their games since she was so delicate. But Jason didn't treat her like that.

Until his arrival at Charms School, Jason was closer than a brother to Lily. He was her best friend. He was the person she told every embarrassing secret to. Lily didn't like to think about how he used to sneak sweets from the kitchen for her. She didn't like to think about how he stayed with her when she was sick instead of playing Quidditch with the rest of her brothers. She didn't like to remember the friend she lost.

" Lils why are we meeting here?" a voice asked. Lily looked up from the book and met Marlene's electric blue eyes. She held the book open and motioned for Marlene to sit next to her and look at the book.

" Lily I think I've got the entire pureblood family history thing covered. I'm marrying a Black for merlin's sake," Marlene snorted. Lily smiled weakly and pulled her wand out.

" I don't think you've seen this part of it. Revelio," Lily said. She waved her wand over the page and let the hidden part of the family tree appear. Before her eyes, a name formed in the right corner of the most recent generation of the Gastors. Marlene's eyes widened at the site of the name,

" Lily Marie Gastor born January 30th, 1960 to William and Delphina Gastor," Marlene murmured. Lily could see her putting the pieces together. Marlene sucked in a breath and looked over at Lily.

" Shit you're a pureblood aren't you?" Marlene exclaimed in a low voice. Lily looked over at her friend with a weak smile.

" Yeah I am a pureblood," Lily said. She explained everything to Marlene that evening in the library. She told Marlene about her banishment, her magic, and her life in Greece and France. Lily did leave out the reason she was sent to France; she still hadn't told anyone about that. She told Marlene about her idea to take a muggleborn persona to escape their society. She told Marlene about her betrothal to Potter.

" Lils I'm sorry. It all really does make sense though. You've always had this tense relationship with Gastor and don't even get me started on Potter," Marlene exclaimed when Lily was done. Lily quickly veiled her name from the book and kept it back.

" What do you mean about Potter?" Lily asked. Marlene snorted and jumped up.

" Both of you either ogle each other during meals or glare at each other. I swear you haven't gone a single meal since you came here without glancing at him. It goes for him too. It's a bit strange how in sync you guys are with your stares quite frankly," Marlene babbled.

Lily considered this. Sure, she sometimes glanced at Potter, but that was only one a week or so. She didn't ogle him. Lily was certain about that. But Marlene did have a point. Lily did spend too much time thinking about Potter; it wasn't good. She had her entire life ahead of her to be trapped by Potter, so she shouldn't waste her last few months of freedom doing that.

" I'm sorry Lils. You're so brave. I'd never have the courage to leave behind my entire life and become someone else," Marlene pronounced.

" It's okay Marlee. I just took sometime to adjust to being hazed by Slytherins," Lily admitted.

" I won't tell anyone Lils, I promise. But you should tell our friends though," Marlene argued. Lily bit her lip as they exited the library. She wanted to tell them; but it was too risky.

" Michael knows everything but my situation with Potter," Lily revealed. Marlene nodded and a curious expression crossed her face.

" Lils have you ever had any feelings for Wood?" Marlene asked. Lily gulped and sped up.

" No I didn't and I don't. He's just too much like me. We'd burn each other to death. Michael needs someone who is going to tame his fire and not let him do anything stupid," Lily answered.

" He has feelings for you," Marlene said. Lily swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth and looked up.

" I know but even if I had any feelings for him, our relationship wouldn't last for more than seven months," Lily sighed. She could hear her feet pounding against the stone of the staircase. Marlene smiled at a few students who gawked at her for even spending time with Lily.

" Fabian never talks about the future. I think I should end it before anything gets too serious," Marlene explained.

" Marlee but you two are actually good together. Don't let go of your freedom until the day Black steals it from you. And then you need to keep fighting," Lily pointed out.

" A little hypocritical Lils. You're afraid to get close to people because of bloody James Potter. Fight for your freedom Lils," Marlene vowed. Lily knew that her friend was right. Yet she was scared. Lily was scared. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of anything.

" I don't want to feel anything Marlee," Lily murmured.

" You're human Lils. It's okay to be afraid," Marlene explained. Lily knew that she was right. Lily couldn't avoid and mistreat her friends forever; she had to fix the mess she created.

" Give me some time Marlee. I need to think," Lily said. Her friend nodded and they entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily heard loud laughter and looked over to the couches. Her heart faltered when she saw the other 5th and 6th year Gryffindors sitting around the fireplace. Some of them looked over at Marlene and her in surprise. Lily gulped when she saw Michael narrow his eyes.

" Playing Judas Marlee," Michael commented. Silences filled the common room as students watched the usually untied group fight.

" You're so pretentious Wood. It wasn't your right to lie about Lily," Marlene snarled. Lily could see Michael clenching his fists.

" I didn't lie. Marlee she just like them don't you see? She lies and has too many secrets. Lily is as bad as her family," Michael vowed. Lily couldn't repress the flinch from that comment. She looked up and met Michael's eyes. Lily wouldn't be afraid.

" I'm nothing like them. I've never killed any-," Lily started. She couldn't finish that sentence. She had killed someone. Lily shuddered at the memory. She couldn't think about that she refused to. That memory needed to stay buried and hidden. Michael smirked at her.

" What can't you finish that sentence? I wonder why?" Michael gloated. Lily balled her fists and took a step closer to him.

" You're such a hypocrite. Don't you remember what happened to Auclair? You wanted to leave him down there and let him die," Lily roared. Michael's eyes widened and Lily regretted her words. People watched them curiously. Who was Auclair?

" He was going to hand you over to Voldemort. He ripped my back to shreds. He deserved worse than death," Michael announced. Lily narrowed her eyes at him. " It's not up to you to decide when people die. It doesn't matter what he did; no one deserves to die like that," Lily said. She blinked and saw Benjy's body slamming into a tree and falling to the ground. Lily pushed those memories away and sighed.

" Marlee he isn't worth it. I've got patrol in a few minutes. Don't let me get in the way of friendships you've had for your entire life," Lily finished. Before Marlene or Michael could say anything, Lily quickly left the common room. She knew that is was the right thing to tell Marlene the truth.

Marlene was the only person who could truly understand what she was going through. Even Emmeline who was the only other Gryffindor girl stuck in a betrothal wouldn't understand. Emmeline loved Adam; she could never understand what Lily and Marlene were going through.

Footsteps echoed in the entrance hall. Lily looked up and met the pale blue eyes of Remus Lupin. She gulped and muttered a greeting to him. The pair headed down to the dungeons for their patrol.

" Do you know what classes you're taking next year?" Lupin asked suddenly. Lily looked up. They had walked in silence for the past thirty minutes and now his voice broke it.

" Transfiguration, Potions, DADA, Herbalogy, Charms, History of Magic, Care of Magical Creatures and maybe Divination," Lily answered. Lupin watched her curiously.

" Merlin Evans! Why are you taking so many classes?" Lupin commented. Lily wrapped her arms around her torso and smiled wryly.

" I've got issues sleeping. Having a lot of work may help with that," Lily answered. She was taking eight of the original nine classes. Lily was dropping Astronomy since she knew most of the NEWT level curriculum thanks to the Athenian School for Sorcery's high investment in Astronomy. If Dumbledore was okay with it, Lily planned on taking the NEWT test for Astronomy though.

Her sleeping patterns were too painful. Lily thought that prefect duties, Quidditch, and an abundance of schoolwork would help with that. She hoped that having so much work would make her too tired to even experience her nightmares.

" What about you?" Lily asked.

" Transfiguration, DADA, Potions, Charms, Herbalogy, and Care of Magical Creatures," Lupin answered.

" What about your mates?" Lily asked. Lupin sighed and rubbed his eyes. He had circles under his eyes that seemed to haunt him. But most of the older students had those.

" Worm- err I mean Jason is taking the same classes as me but he's taking Astronomy instead of Care of Magical Creatures. Sirius didn't pass the Herbalogy OWL so he's taking Charms, Potions, DADA, Transfiguration, and Divination. James is taking the same classes as me, but he's doing History of Magic instead of Care of Magical Creatures," Lupin said.

Lily wondered why Jason was taking Astronomy. Their mum had been thoroughly obsessed with the stars. She used to make them stay up late in the night and go outside for star gazing sessions. Lily's mum had been so proud of Julius for getting a NEWT in Astronomy.

It hit her like a bullet. Jason was taking Astronomy for the nostalgia of his childhood. Lily felt a pang of sadness for him. He didn't know how to cope without a family.

" How's Jason doing?" Lily asked Lupin. He looked at her strangely and looked away.

" Half of his family died in the last year. The other members of his family all abandoned him. How do you think he is doing?" Lupin said sarcastically. Lily pursed her lips and Lupin turned to her.

" It's none of my business to tell you this. I know I have enough of my own secrets but Jason would do the same thing I'm doing. Evans I don't know what's going on between the two of you but it needs to stop. He's fragile right now. Jason is too stubborn to ask for help. You know he was doing pretty well before you showed up in August. After that it was a spiral for the worse. He sent a letter to Dumbledore resigning from his prefect position. He even considered quitting Quidditch," Lupin listed.

Shock welled up inside of Lily. She knew that Jason was upset; but she didn't think he was this insane. He loved Quidditch; all of the Gastors did. Lily didn't care how much the sport reminded him of their family. He was too deep in mourning. It hurt Lily so much; more than she would care to admit.

Lily thought that she could let go of her family; but she couldn't. She wasn't a Gastor. Lily renounced that part of herself; yet it was clinging to her. Abandoning Jason was the right thing to do. Lily had to let him realize that she wasn't his sister anymore. But it hurt so much. Lily wasn't strong, like her mum. She loved Jason so much; yet she didn't have the strength to let her past go. Jason was family and she had to care about him.

" Patrol is over Evans. I'll see you in class tomorrow," Lupin shouted. Lily blinked and looked up. She didn't notice that they had walked to the Slytherin Common Room. She muttered a goodbye to Lupin and turned from the room.

Lily walked up to the seventh floor slowly. She was so tired, yet she couldn't sleep. Lily was scared of what her sleep would bring. She didn't want to see her friends dying. She didn't want to feel flames engulf her.

Lily jumped when she glanced at the wall. She was on the seventh floor in a corridor. A door had appeared suddenly in the middle of an empty wall. Lily remembered this happening to her before.

She opened the door and found a glossy pianoforte sitting in the middle of a blank room. Lily closed the door behind her with a small smile. A few minutes later music blasted from her fingers and she was at peace, at least for now.

---

" Lily did you get any sleep yesterday night?" a voice teased. Lily jumped up from her bowl and looked up. She gulped a yawn down and met Marlene's eyes. Lily rubbed her eyes and stretched her back.

She tightened the band of her ponytail and grinned sheepishly at Marlene. Lily felt guilty for separating Marlene and the other Gryffindors, but Marlene refused to sit anywhere but with her. When Lily returned to the dormitory early on Monday morning she slept for a few hours and Marlene woke her. The two entered the Great Hall and sat together, to the immense shock of most students.

Lily could feel judgmental stares on her back. After her cold treatment of the Gryffindors and their mutual feelings towards her gossip broke out. Lily particular was fond of the rumor that she attempted to shag every single available 6th and 7th year Gryffindor over the break.

" I managed a few hours," Lily admitted. She chewed on a slice of toast and let it slide down her throat. Lily didn't know why but she wasn't hungry anymore. She still ate but she felt full most of the time.

" We've got NEWTS Lils. Sleep is important for short people like you," Marlene said with a motherly tone. Lily raised her eyebrows. Marlene was taller than most girls their age, or in general. Lily stood at an average height of 5'6 but Marlene seemed to tower over her at 5'9.

" Marlee you're a giant. I'm perfectly average," Lily sniffed. Her friend grinned and glanced at Lily. Before Marlene could speak, a schedule landed next to Marlene. Lily looked up and blushed when she saw Alice briskly walking away from her. Marlene didn't seem to notice that.

" I've got Potions first what about you?" Marlene asked. Lily frowned and saw that Alice and Frank were done handing out schedules.

" I dunno I haven't' gotten mine yet," Lily revealed. She could hear the sharp click of heels coming from behind her and turned. Professor McGonagall was walking closer and closer to her.

" Miss Evans a word please," McGonagall ordered. People snickered around Lily. She rolled her eyes and stood. Lily walked over to her teacher.

" Miss Evans there seems to be a mistake in your schedule. I just looked at it and it seems as though you're signed up for eight classes. There must be some mistake. I doubt you could balance that much work, prefect duties, and captaining the Gryffindor team," McGonagall bristled. People turned to the pair eager to eavesdrop.

" There's no mistake Professor. I'm taking all of those classes," Lily answered. The stern older lady looked at Lily sharply.

" Miss Evans are you sure that you'll be able to handle this load? I wouldn't want to lose the four-year Quidditch Cup streak Gryffindor's had since their captain is too tired to play," McGonagall asked.

Lily clenched her jaw and looked down at the two badges sitting on her chest. She didn't want this but there was no way out of it.

" I didn't want to be captain Professor. Dumbledore knows that but he's not letting me resign. I don't plan on being the first captain to lose the Quidditch Cup in four years either," Lily vowed.

She knew that people were watching her. She could hear Justin Davies laughing at her brutally. But Lily didn't relent. Professor McGonagall sighed and glanced at her.

" Miss Evans as long as you maintain your grades and duties as captain and prefect I cannot do anything to restrict the amount of classes you're taking. But do remember that you barely made it into my NEWT class, I won't tolerate any slacking off," Professor McGonagall finished. Lily nodded and took her schedule from her teacher. She turned and blushed when she saw that a majority of the Gryffindor table was watching her. Lily turned her head and met a pair of amused hazel-eyes. She glared at him and sat with Marlene.

" I've got Potions too. Let's go down there," Lily announced.

" Okay," Marlene answered with a quick look around the hall. Lily clenched her fists when she saw that the Gryffindors were watching them. She could feel Michael's eyes staring at her critically. Marlene and her left the hall and headed down to the dungeons.

For some time the only sound Lily heard was the pounding of their shoes against the stone ground of the castle. She wrinkled her nose when she smelt the musty stench of the dungeons. When the pair reached the potions class Lily checked her watch.

They still had five minutes before Slughorn would open the classroom. Lily heard a group walking up to them and turned. Her nose hit a solid surface and Lily looked up at James Potter's smirking face. Lily jumped slightly and almost tripped. Potter grabbed her and wrapped his arms around hers; he seemed rather fond of doing that.

" Potter let go of me," Lily ordered. He smiled at her and his eyes looked down at the badge on her chest. His fingers moved to his chest and Lily could see an identical captain's badge on his chest. She gulped and stared into his eyes.

" I didn't know you were captain Evans. Isn't it a bit strange to give a student who hasn't been here for even a year the captain position?" Potter commented. Lily glared at him. She heard footsteps and knew that the rest of the Marauders had showed up.

" I've been playing Quidditch since you still wearing nappies," Lily growled. Potter looked at her with a gleam in his eyes. Lily immediately regretted her words.

" Evans you're muggleborn. How would you know anything about Quidditch?" Potter demanded. A small crowd had gathered around them. Lily narrowed her eyes at Potter; he was goading her.

" Potter I'm not daft. It's not going to work," Lily announced.

" What am I doing Evans? I just want to make sure that Gryffindor stands at chance for the Quidditch Cup," Potter answered innocently. Lily shoved her body out of his grip and pursed her lips. The door to the classroom was open, yet no one was going inside.

" Potter I have seven months so don't try anything now," Lily ordered. She shoved passed the members of the class and entered it. Marlene joined her and they sat near the front of the room. Lily pulled out her cauldron and textbook. She could hear students starting to enter the classroom.

" Where's Michael?" Lily asked. Michael wanted to be an auror so he had to take this class. As far as Lily knew, this was the only NEWT 6th year class for Potions. Before Marlene could answer her question, Lily saw Michael slink into the classroom.

He sat with a tall Ravenclaw boy. Michael glanced at her and Marlene. Lily blushed when she saw the anger in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to react this way. Lily couldn't take any more risks. Michael was too emotional to know the truth. Lily heard the bell ring and looked to the front of the classroom.

Professor Slughorn entered the room and took a quick survey of the members of the class. His eyes sparkled when he saw Lily.

" Miss Evans what a delight! I heard about the outstanding on your OWL. Quite impressive so few have managed to get one in the last decade," Slughorn boasted. Lily smiled weakly at him and he studied her.

" That's a lovely tan you've got," Slughorn commented. Lily could feel eyes tracing the golden glow to her skin curiously.

" I spent some of the summer in Greece," Lily answered with a blush. Slughorn's eyes traced the captain's badge on her chest.

" And you're captain too! Splendid, now you can finally attend one of my little-get-togethers without Quidditch practice getting in the way," Slughorn announced. Lily mumbled a response and he looked away.

Marlene laughed at Lily's expression. The idea of going to one of Slughorn's parties was too similar to pureblood parties. Lily felt that Slughorn was a good teacher, but a bit prejudiced.

" Now today I will be starting the NEWT year by showing a few of some of the more difficult potions to make. So if everybody please gather around the table in the front of the room," Slughorn barked.

The class was rather small. It consisted of the three Gryffindors, four Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff, and the Marauders. Lily wondered where all of the Slytherin girls were. She expected the class to be small, but not this small. Lily and Marlene walked to the front of the room and managed to get a spot near the front of the table. The only downside to their situation was that two Ravenclaw boys were standing directly behind them.

" For the duration of this course we will be working with some rather difficult potions. I've made some potions that you will be able to make after the completion of you NEWT. Now can anyone tell me which potion this is?" Slughorn started.

The class spent the period learning about potions such as Armotentia and Felix Felicis. After the class period ended, Lily went with Marlene to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. When the pair reached the classroom Lily felt a surge of anxiety overcome her. She shivered at the memory of her past experiences with Professor Gladstone.

The desks were pushed to a corner of the room and there was a wide empty space in the center. Lily remembered Professor Gladstone's limited tolerance for written lessons. She and Marlene stood in the center of the room and watched as people entered the room.

As the bell rang Lily assessed that there was about twenty members of the class. It was larger than most NEWT classes, but during times like these many people wanted to be able to protect themselves. There were three Gryffindors, six Slytherins including the pretentious Cecilia Parkinson and Cressida Zabini, five Hufflepuffs, and six Ravenclaws. Marlene waved at a pair of Hufflepuff girls. They ignored her and continued to gawk at the Marauders. Lily wondered why they Marauders would even bother to take this class. Michael stood with a group of Ravenclaw boys that Marlene told Lily were the Quidditch lovers of Hogwarts.

Lily didn't know how to feel about Michael not being able to play. She felt a surge of sympathy for him; she couldn't imagine a life without Quidditch. She looked to the front of the room when the bell rang. She watched as Professor Gladstone entered the room and took her wand out.

" Hello class I am Professor Judea Gladstone. I will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. Most of you managed to barely get into the class. The few who scraped an Outstanding, well I doubt that they actually deserved it," Professor Gladstone started. An accent warped around her words.

Her eyes landed on Lily's figure when she said her last comment. Lily blushed and ducked her head. She almost forgot how cynical her old teacher was.

" We'll be starting today with duels. I will be pairing you in groups of two. One by one each group will duel until one person surrenders," Professor Gladstone announced. Whispers broke out across the room. People were anxious to show their teacher their best. Lily wasn't though; she knew that Professor Gladstone would never give her a compliment.

" Cressida Zabini and Marlene McKinnon. Sirius Black and Melissa Stevies. Remus Lupin and Penelope Weston. Since Katie Michelson is absent we will have a group of three. James Potter, Jason Gastor, and Lily Evans," Professor Gladstone announced.

Lily glared at her teacher; who merely smirked at her. She joined Potter and Jason in the audience. Lily watched as Professor Gladstone traced Jason's figure. She couldn't hide the curiosity in her eyes.

The room was silent except for the two duelers. By the time Marlene was called up, half of the period had passed. Michael managed to have his partner on the ground, without a wand, in a mere minute. Lily smiled at Marlene who used a quick disarming spell on Zabini.

Black's duel was a bit unfair. Lily didn't miss the sadistic grin that crossed his face as he sent a harsh stunning spell at Stevies. She glared at him as two Hufflepuffs took Melissa to the hospital wing. After Lupin finished his duel Professor Gladstone turned to Lily with a sick grin.

" I have an idea. Why don't we try a little double-teaming? Evan versus Potter and Gastor," Professor Gladstone declared. Lily knew that something like this was coming.

" I'm sorry Professor but isn't that a little unfair for Lily?" Jason commented. Professor Gladstone ignored him and faced Lily.

" Evans is this an issue?" Gladstone requested. Lily narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She walked to the center of the room and took her wand out. Potter watched her with concern as Professor Gladstone announced the start of the duel.

She stared at Potter and Jason. Before they could do anything Lily sent a nonverbal spell at Jason who was glaring at Professor Gladstone. His wand shot out of his wand and into Lily's and he flew back into a pile of desks.

" Gastor is out," someone called out. Lily threw his wand in his direction and turned to Potter. His hazel eyes sparkled as he watched Lily.

" Avis," Lily shouted. She knew that Professor Gladstone would want a good duel that lasted for sometime. A flock of small birds rose from her wand and she raised her wand.

" Opuggno," Lily declared. The birds turned to Potter and shot like arrows at his figure. Before they could reach their target Potter moved his wand through the air in a slicing motion. The birds stopped and fell to the ground. Lily gulped; how did Potter know nonverbal magic?

He watched her with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. Lily leaned forward and knew that this duel wasn't going to end with a simple disarming charm. They two dueled as though they were dancing. Potter shot hexes at Lily who would respond with a sly jinx.

Lily ducked as a spell hit the desk behind her. It transformed into a rug. Potter preferred using transfiguration spells. Lily was abusing charms though. Twenty minutes into the duel, Lily was covered in a light layer of sweat. The class watched her and Potter as they circled each other.

" Incendio," Potter shouted. Lily froze as flames fanned out from his wand. She didn't move as they stretched towards her. Lily was stuck to the ground. She blinked and memories swarmed behind her eyes. A breath rose from her chest raggedly. Lily knew that there was no way she could duel Potter no. Yet she refused to surrender.

" Aqua Erecto," Lily croaked. A small stream of water shot from her wand but before it could make contact with the fire, Lily swooned and collapsed. She fell to the ground and felt the flames inch closer and closer to her. But Lily couldn't do anything; she was trapped in her memories.

Right before the spell hit her something shoved her and pulled her up. Lily coughed and choked for air. She looked up and met Michael's eyes. They stared at her in confusion.

" Mr. Potter is the winner of the duel due to Mr. Wood's interruption of it. Miss Evans poor technique, some of the worst I've seen. I hoped that you would be at least decent at dueling from all the time I invested in teaching you," Professor Gladstone called out.

Lily glared at her and bit back the sharp comment. She shoved out of Michael's hold and wrapped her arms around her chest. People watched her. They seemed to be waiting for the infamous redhead temper that Lily held. But it never came. Lily heard the bell ring and turned to Professor Gladstone.

" At least I didn't get my parents killed," Lily snarled. The class silenced as Professor Gladstone clenched her fists in rage.

" Twenty points from Gryffindor and a week of detention Miss Evans," Professor Gladstone barked. Lily nodded; it was worth it. The class watched her as she grabbed her bag and strode out of the room.

She could remember that night in Greece. She could see the full moon high in the sky. She could feel her childhood innocence biting at her as she tried to help. Lily could hear screams of pain and howling as she turned around the corner of the corridor.

She was remembering too much.

Lily could see the faces of her grandparents as a werewolf clawed their hearts out.

---

Sorry for the wait!

R&R

-Rin