The Q Must Be Crazy II
Part 10
T: Sexual innuendo
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"You are completely ruining my reputation! I will never live this down," Chakotay objected from inside his own body. "We…I…you have a date with Kathryn! She will not like being stood up!"
"I told you to put a lid on it, Chakotay! I know what I'm doing!" Q said, as silently as possible, covering for his speech with a bright smile, like a ventriloquist.
The girls giggled a bit more and then moved over to the bar with some other crew, all of whom were staring at their First Officer.
"Commander!" Tom addressed him, a little too loud, startled by Chakotay's costume and attitude.
"At ease, Tom," He drawled easily. "We're off duty."
"I can see that," Tom commented and looked his bedecked XO up and down from head to toe, the way they all were.
"Oh, this old thing?" Q/C demurred. "Just a little something from my favorite holonovel."
"When did you start indulging in holonovels, Chakotay?" B'Elanna asked without receiving an answer. "And when did you start dressing like a Zorro or a matador or whatever the heck you are?"
Q/C turned to her, slowly, smiling a satisfied grin. "You are looking delicious this evening, B'Elanna," he noted suggestively. "Then again," he breathed in through his teeth, "you always do."
"Huh?" was all she could muster.
Q/C's tight fitting garments gloved his body, accentuating and revealing musculature he had not had for over a year. A brocade vest hugged his broad chest and billowing white sleeves fluttered around strong arms. The ruffles on the front of his shirt parted just enough to reveal the top of his pectoral muscles.
His dark hair was longer and brushed down, as if it were windblown. It no longer stood up on end as if it were at attention. Light glinted off a few well-chosen grey strands. His skin appeared deeper, a richer, healthier tan. Gone were the dark circles that he had sported over the last few months.
"Well, it's ah…different," B'Elanna said, clearing her throat. "Are those spurs on your boots?"
Q/C smiled in such a way that made B'Elanna feel weak in the knees. Megan and Jenny flushed as "Chakotay" kissed their hands in turn.
"Oo-la-la, mon conquérant!" Sandrine squealed and rushed to his side. "My conquistador!"
"Ah, Sandrine, you are the picture of exquisiteness, as always," Q/C said while kissing her hand gallantly. He kept her hand, held it to his chest, and rubbed it gently with his thumb. "You are a credit to women everywhere."
"Oh! Oh, Cha-Ko-tay! Vous êtes si doux!" Sandrine stuttered, placing her free hand on her reddened cheeks.
"Merci, ma petite chou!" Q/C called her with deep tones. "Mon, vous êtes une belle femme!" he told her with lust in his dark eyes, breathing deeply.
"Oh, I..I…I did not know, you spoke French, monsieur."
"It is the language of passion. How could I not!"
When he finally released her, Sandrine stumbled away in a daze, staring at the hand, her hand, the hand HE had held for a few moments.
"I've come down to win a few replicator rations," Q/C told Tom without a trace of hesitation. "I'll take all you have, Tom!"
"Oh. Is that so?" Tom asked, in disbelief.
Chakotay was an adequate casual player, but he was not in Tom's class by a long shot. For a while in his checkered past, Tom spent some serious time hustling pool for a living. Chakotay rarely took a game from him and Tom enjoyed quite a few evenings with B'Elanna in romantic holodeck settings on Chakotay's tab.
"Harry, rack 'em up for us." Q/C told him, with a jaunty lilt of his head.
"Uh, yeah, uh, sure," Harry finally blurted out.
B'Elanna sidled up to Q/C. Chakotay, her old friend—and just a friend—was now making her pulse quicken with this display of raw sexuality. She could not help herself. Both her human and Klingon sides were responding to his…his…whatever it was that he was doing.
"What has gotten into you?" she demanded. "Have you got Romulan ale you're not sharing or is it alien aphrodisiacs hidden in a secret place?"
He turned to the lovely Klingon and spoke to her closely in soft tones with bedroom eyes.
"Mmm…yes, I do like secret places," he oozed. "No, B'Elanna. I'm simply feeling better," Q/C informed her. "You hair looks lovely, my dear. What have you done differently?"
"I…I…What have I….What have you done?" she demanded, thinking back to Tuvok's orders. What if this was a result of alien manipulation?
"Not enough and I'll always regret that. You know, we haven't spent enough time together lately," Q/C told her. "Perhaps you and I can share some Holodeck time, just the two of us. I have just the program in mind."
He reached up and gently brushed a strand of hair back from her lovely face.
Her heart rate doubled and she forgot herself. She was seriously considering his offer, after all Chakotay was her oldest friend, when Tom wedged himself between the two of them.
"Oh, dee lover jealous!" Sandrine said in the background. "It is the same story, from the beginning of time!"
"Look, Chakotay, I don't know what you're playing at, but B'Elanna is with me, aren't you?"
"Ah…." was all B'Elanna could manage. She felt woozy.
"Of course, Tom! I wouldn't dream of interfering, would I, B'Elanna?" He whispered her name and looked at her with sheer lust in his eyes. He made very word sound dirty and tempting. "We're simply old friends, that's all. Perhaps you could join us, Tom. I'd like that. A lot."
"That's enough, Q!" Chakotay wailed from inside. "You cannot proposition everyone on the ship and especially not Tom!"
"Of course I can. I told you that this would be fun." Q said quietly. "Now, hush up!"
"What did you say?" Tom asked, puzzled by his Commander's asides.
"I'm sure B'Elanna would enjoy you, I mean, your company, as much as I would," Q/C said, laying it on as thick as he could.
Tom's chest was revealing his rising anger.
"Not today, Commander!" Tom said, more harshly than he would have liked. "Are you going to let me win your replicator rations or stand here making a fool out of yourself with every woman in the room?"
Q/C smiled and looked down as if to say, "who me?"
"Tom, I'm surprised at you, being jealous of B'Elanna and me like that!" Q/C smiled lasciviously. He moved close to Tom and put his hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't want you to feel excluded. How about you break, and let bygones be bygones. What d'ya say?"
"B'Elanna, why don't you get us some drinks?" Tom said, pushing his spellbound girlfriend aside. "I have some balls to break. Later, you and I are going to have a wonderful dinner on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet thanks to the Commander."
"We'll see about that, Tom," Q/C said, his dimpled grin igniting a fire in every girl's bosom in the room.
"I think I'm going to enjoy this!" Tom said, to no one in particular.
tbc…
With apologies to the creators of El Diablo, but only if they are sorry for not giving Mr. Devil enough screen time!