[MUSE]. Sorry for Matt. But he is still there. Just invisible. Oh, and thanks for 'The Resistance'. Music have never felt so good.

If you, little humans, are reading this, you must be insane. But still – thank you very, very much!

Disclaimer: screw 'twilight'. I want Matt Bellamy!

The reason, why I am going to Voltera is not Matt. It's not even Jake. It is me. I could not save the one I've loved the most. But I have to save the one who loves me. Or die.

Both of the endings are okay to me. Live and be loved, or die and meet the one I love.

Guess this is not as bad as it seems.

'Nessie, stop it!'

'Stop what?'

Jake was sitting in front of me on the ground. We were playing cards.

'Stop being a zombie! Look, I saw your mother acting like that, but she moved on. She lived.'

'She knew that dad was alive.' My body ached badly. I wondered, how am I still alive.

'I'm sure that Matt wants you to move on, to live. I would wait a thousand years, just to see you smile again, but that isn't a life, Nessie. That is only a torture, for you, and your family.'

How could these words wake me up? No, they didn't save me, but I could feel my body again. Every cell in it ached to bad. But I could hear the rain outside, the beat of Jake's heart, and the beat of mine.

So I still had a heart?

The wave of these feelings surprised me, and I just could not manage to move, to scream, to cry.

Jake was right. Matt would have wanted me to live on. He wanted me to be with Jake, to make him happy.

To love again.

'Nessie? Are you okay?' Jake was worried, as I stared into his brown eyes.

'I think. I think I will be okay..?' I turned the statement into a question for myself. Can I be okay?

'Yes. You will be okay. Just let us into your world again, Ness. We want to see you smile again.' Jake answered my question.

And I smiled. Smiled to Jake, to the world, to the rain. To myself.

To Matt. My guardian angel.

I found out, that I was a zombie for four months. So, I had a month to my 7th birthday. I made myself a promise, that I'll try to live again, and be happy at my birthday.

My family was happy. The moment, when they saw their Nessie again in those brown eyes, was overwhelmingly joyful. They understood, that I have chosen to live. And they were wiling to help me.

However, the pain of loosing him has never ended. I had dreams, wonderful dreams, where Matt and I are together again. I felt my heart burning every full moon. And once, when Jake and I went hunting, I cached myself running towards the meadow. When I reached it, and Jake turned into a human, I started crying.

'This was the same meadow.' Jake said under his breath.

'What?' I managed to say.

'Your mother was attacked by Loren here.' He whispered, not paying attention to my tears.

'This is the meadow Matt has showed me.' I said and ran back home, leaving Jake to stand there all alone.

'Put yourself together' I was repeating the words in my head over and over again, until I got home.

'Is everything okay, Nessie?' I ran into my dad.

He saw the picture of the meadow and Jake's words in my mind.

'Oh. That's the meadow I have shown to your mom.'

'What about the meadow?' my mom walked into the kitchen, where dad and I stood.

'It is a special place for Matt and Nessie too.' Dad smiled.

'That's the meadow?' I have heard stories about how my dad had shown his real self to mum. How he had shown a beautiful meadow to my mom. How he walked into the sun.

'Yes.' My dad whispered.

'Oh.' And I walked to my room.

That night was the hardest after my numbness has ended.

When there was only a week left until my birthday left, I woke up with warmth inside.

I dreamt Matt, and he said that he loves me, and that I am doing great in my life. He asked me to try to love Jake, because he earned my love. And he said, that he will be in my heart forever, so I should cry no more. He said that he will be my guiding light forever.

'Nessie? Can I talk to you?' I heard my dad's voice outside the door.

'Yes. Of course.' I smiled to myself.

He walked in and sat on the frame of my bed.

'So, there's only a week left until your 7th birthday, which I consider as a normal humans' 18th. So, I wanted to talk to you about your plans in life.' He smiled half-heartedly.

I thought about it a minute.

'I'm going to be with Jake. I'm going to finish university with good grades and I'm going to adopt a child. Of course, if Jake doesn't mind that he might want to be a vampire when he turns eighteen. You know I can't have children. And…'

'How are you?' he broke my sentence.

I showed him my dream and my decision.

Dad nodded.

'I'm sorry, baby, really. But I could not let you go.' He whispered in a painful voice.

'I know now. And I understand. I have forgiven for that. It was his choice after all.' I said.

'I love you daddy.' I whispered.

'I love you too, sweetie.' He kissed my forehead.

'Oh, and one more thing. Alice is throwing a party.' And he walked out.

I moaned and fell back into the bed.

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