A/N So if anyone is after stories of the toddler, she's nearly two now. Her birthday is at the beginning of December. Which means it's about two years since I discovered fanfiction. But she is mostly trying to persuade me not to take her to daycare by yelling "No brocli!" at me - the fact they make her eat her veges is kind of traumatising - and practicing her ninja skills by going at her sister with balloons on sticks, one in each hand and arms circling furiously as she advances. She can get quite a few hits in and it has totally thrown the balance of power in my living room out of whack.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

SPOV

I felt Eric getting into bed behind me and idly wondered if it was a bad thing that I hadn't heard the front door, or him moving around the room or anything else. I liked to think that somewhere, buried deep in my subconscious I was registering all those things as familiar, because I could tell it was Eric. But it did make me worry slightly that maybe anyone could surprise me in bed and I'd be none the wiser.

Thank God it was only Eric then.

"Is she OK?" I asked him, as he jiggled me around trying to get himself comfortable.

"Yep" Eric said, and I lifted my head off the pillow to look at my bedside clock. The time looked wrong, or maybe I was reading it wrong. At any rate, something didn't add up.

"You were a long time" I said to Eric.

"Yeah…" he said slowly. "Amelia was um…" there was quite a long pause. Well, it seemed to be quite a long pause, but then my sense of time was a bit screwed up due to the fact that it was the middle of the night. "At a party" Eric finally said.

For a few seconds I wondered who on earth was holding a late night birthday party, but then my brain was thinking about birthday parties as they used to apply to Amelia, all balloons and party games and wondering what you'd get in the gift bag at the end. Pretty much the stage Pam was still at given the preparations that had been going on for her birthday party.

And then I realised what kind of party it might be. The kind I never went to as a teenager, well, apart from the few times I went out with Jason and his mates, and even then those parties tended more towards the ramshackle and noisy, rather than the out-of-control and dangerous.

"A party?" I asked. "Whose party?" I rolled over to face Eric and he just lay there and looked at me. He looked tired, and I felt sorry for keeping him up longer, but I wanted to know what had happened.

"Dunno" he said, running a hand over his face and sounding totally unconcerned.

"Was Yvetta there too? Did you bring her back? Are they OK?" I asked as all the questions raced through my mind in a tumble. What the hell had Amelia been doing?

"Yes" Eric said, and then he decided that was all he needed to say, and he closed his eyes and looked like he might go back to sleep. But I couldn't sleep now.

"So, she's really OK?" I asked.

"Yeah" Eric said, rolling back towards me and trying to get me to lie down in the process by basically throwing a leg over me and kind of pushing me into the mattress. He was helpful like that.

"Maybe I should go and talk to her" I said, as I relented, rolled over and lay back down in my original position again.

"No, she's good" Eric said, pushing my hair away from his face. "We had a chat and I've made sure she's had some water and pain pills before bed."

"She was drinking?" I asked, not really believing it as I asked it, but what Eric had said seemed to point in that direction and the fact he was trying to go to sleep on me wasn't really comforting.

"Uh…yeah" Eric said, sounding kind of reluctant. "But it's fine, Sookie. She's here now and nothing happened."

I hadn't really thought beyond the actual going off somewhere, and then trying alcohol before that point. But the whole 'nothing happened' comment made me think of a bunch of things that could have happened. And even though I knew that Eric wasn't lying and that Amelia was, indeed, in the house with us now, probably tucked up in her own little bed, my poor heart was racing with worry.

But obviously Eric had done his worrying earlier in the evening and it had worn him out and now he was happily snoring away behind me.

I, however, had no hope of sleeping now. I wanted to go and see and touch Amelia and make sure she was really OK, but I didn't want to disturb her, and I didn't want to seem hopelessly needy in front of Eric.

So I waited until the snores turned to a lot of heavy breathing, which usually signified that he'd fallen into a deeper sleep, and then I carefully wriggled out from underneath him and tiptoed to Amelia's room. She was, as I'd hoped, fast asleep in bed, looking none the worse for wear other than the smudged makeup around her eyes. We were going to have to have a talk about removing eye makeup before bed, I realised.

And probably a lot of other things.

Bella stalked past me into Amelia's room, flicking her tail in my direction. She jumped on the bottom of the bed and spent a minute or two moulding her body so that it was perfectly aligned with the curve of Amelia's calves. She was glad to have Amelia home. And she wasn't sparkling like some of the other feline members of the family, so that was a bonus.

And I was glad to have Amelia home too, but unlike Bella, I couldn't get to sleep quite that easily. Not even once I managed to get myself back into bed, which was no mean feat as Eric had sprawled out and appropriated my pillow in my absence.

Usually Eric's presence in bed was kind of overwhelming, but mostly comforting. Not tonight though, or, not this morning anyway. I'd thought that I'd be spending Sunday comforting an Amelia who'd fallen out with her best friend and who had had to learn, once again, that female friendships were fraught with all sorts of pitfalls. But it looked as though I was in for something else entirely. I wondered at what point you felt qualified for parenthood. Or, at least, for parenting a teenager. Would I feel any better about it when Pam was this age?

I lay there for a long time, thinking about it all and wondering what, if anything, I could say to Amelia and what her reaction was going to be. And then eventually I must have drifted off to sleep.

When we woke up though, Amelia wasn't really our biggest concern. I had been lying there enjoying my lie-in Sunday and Eric was still dead to the world, his middle of the night rescue mission having tired him out. But that was OK, I was happy to let him sleep half on top of me for a bit longer.

I was, but Pam wasn't. There was urgent knocking on the bedroom door and she called out "Daddy! Daddy! We have to go and check the catcher!"

Eric did not wake up to that. "Daaaaddy!" Pam wailed. I tapped Eric's shin with my foot and he mumbled "Stop kicking me!" like I might really hurt him.

"I saw sparkles!" Pam yelled. "We've got one, but I don't want her to get away so I need you come now!"

Oooh, I had been thinking it would be nice to go out and see Pam's excitement at the sparkles, but I now realised that maybe she was expecting more than a bit of glitter. Bum. This might not be pretty.

Eric should definitely be there to let her down gently.

"Oi! Wake up. Your daughter wants you" I said, rolling over to face Eric.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "Why is she always my daughter when she needs someone to get out of bed and go outside?"

"So you were paying attention! Great, now help me deal with Pam." I got out of bed and opened the door, "We'll be out in a moment" I said, and Pam sighed audibly. "Tell Daddy to hurry up" she said. "I need him to make sure she's trapped properly."

"Um…OK" I said, wondering why I wasn't considered up to the task of being a fairy-jailer.

I went into the bathroom and used the toilet and brushed my teeth and came back out to find Eric still sprawled in bed and Pam pretty much bouncing next to him. "Come ON, Daddy!" she said. "You can't sleep ALL day!"

"I can" Eric said. "Want me to prove it?"

"No! Because…because…but we have to go out. We have to go out NOW! Get up!" Poor Pam, she wasn't really in the mood for Eric teasing her, she just wanted to go and get her fairy.

Eric reluctantly peeled himself off the bed and went into the bathroom. "So, um, you really think there is one out there?" I asked Pam.

"Oh yes! There are sparkles, LOTS of sparkles. I think we caught a really pretty one." Pam nodded and clutched whatever she holding to her chest.

Sam came wandering into the room. "You're up" he said to me.

"Yeah" I agreed.

"Does that mean I don't have to make my breakfast?" he asked.

"You can if you want" I said.

"Sweet" Sam said, and he padded off as Pam said "I got a fairy, so you were WRONG stupid-head Sam!" I wondered what the mess in the kitchen would be like when I got there, Sam was pretty good at sorting out food for himself, and occasionally Tray and Pam if they showed the appropriate amount of gratitude, but he didn't exactly understand about clean up, although on occasions Ivan had been known to pitch in and help out.

Eric came out of the bathroom and Pam pounced on him, grabbing his hand. "Let's go!" she said enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh" Eric said, and his eyes flicked to me, as though he expected I'd have some answer to the dilemma of how to let Pam down easy. Yeah, I had no clue. I just shrugged and then followed them out of the room.

As expected, Sam was in the kitchen when we got towards the big bi-fold doors to the deck, and Tray was hovering around eating cereal straight out of the box. "You guys alright?" I asked.

"Yep" Sam said, frowning at Tray, who ignored him. Ivan, who'd been sitting there as well, got wind of the fact that Eric was present and came over to see what we were doing. "I got a fairy!" Pam sing-songed.

"A fairy?" Tray asked, although his mouth was full and it sounded more like "A fweree?"

"Yeah" Pam said. "So we can't take Ivan out there, because he'll bark and frighten her. Ivan, you stay here."

Ivan ignored Pam and stood there panting expectantly at Eric. "Ivan. Sit!" Eric said, and Ivan did, but my God, he looked sad. I didn't think any of the kids had ever managed to pull out a look quite that heart-breaking. I guessed they didn't call it puppy-dog eyes for nothing.

Eric then opened the door and Pam ran through. "Come on!" she said, skipping down the steps.

Eric looked at me. "She'll be OK, though, won't she?" he asked. Then he thought for a minute. "Yeah, she'll be OK" he said, and I wasn't about to disagree as I kind of liked his version of the outcome.

And then he followed Pam down the steps, and I followed him. Pam was pointing at the ground around the lemon tree in excitement when we got there. "Fairy dust!" she yelled. I hoped Mrs Bodehouse hadn't had a big night the night before, because the screaming kid waking her up early on a Sunday morning might be a bit much if she was feeling delicate.

"See, Daddy! Sparkly fairy dust. I told you there'd be a fairy, and you can always tell when there's a fairy, because there's fairy dust. Look, inside! Quick! I wonder if she's pink? Do you think she's a pink one? The dust's kind of pink, but silvery too. Maybe she's pink and silver? I want to look!" Eric just stood there watching Pam dance around, and then he slowly reached for the fairy catcher.

"Careful Daddy!" Pam warned. "Maybe she'll bite!"

"You didn't tell me there was a danger of being bitten" Eric said, as he stopped what he was doing.

"Oh…no, I think you're OK. She'll only bite boys. Like stupid boys. Stupid boys I want her to bite!" Pam glanced towards the house and I figured I knew who her candidates might be. "Open it!" she squealed, and as Eric opened the end of the fairy catcher, I held my breath and Pam clapped her hands and bounced on the spot, putting whatever she'd been holding underneath her arm.

Eric looked inside, and then looked closer, and then he tipped the fairy catcher up and shook it, which sent all the glitter I'd placed inside it the night before floating down to the grass.

"Where is she?" Pam demanded, and there was a worrying tremor in her voice.

"Sorry, sweetheart" Eric said. "I think she got away."

"What?" Pam asked, coming over to look as well.

"Yeah, uh, obviously she was here" Eric said, "So the catcher works…I guess she just got out."

"How?" Pam demanded, looking from the fairy catcher in Eric's hands, to Eric's face and back again.

"Magic" Eric said. I guessed he thought that would cover it.

"No" Pam said, quietly. "But…but, no. I was going to catch a fairy."

"Well, I think you did. She just got away" Eric said, patting Pam's shoulder.

"And you said it was very hard to catch a fairy" I reminded her. "So at least you managed that."

Pam turned towards me and looked at me like I was an idiot. "But if you catch them, you get to keep them!" she yelled.

"Um…" I said. "Wouldn't that be a bit mean to the fairy?" I chided myself for worrying about the welfare of a creature that didn't exist in the first place, but I was slightly worried about Pam's desire to own a fairy.

"No!" Pam said. "No, if you catch them then they'll be your friend! And I made a box to put her in! It has holes in the top and everything!" She held up the box she'd had tucked under her arm, and sure enough, it was covered with pretty paper and sparkly stones and there were holes in the top.

So she wasn't completely heartless. That was good to know.

What I didn't know, was how to cheer her up about the absence of a fairy in the trap this morning. I waited to see what Eric would come up with.

"Maybe you'll have more luck tomorrow, Pam" he said.

"They'll just use magic again!" Pam yelled. "You didn't tell me about the magic! The fairy catcher doesn't work if there's magic, does it Daddy? Does it Daddy?"

"Well, maybe not" Eric conceded.

"So it doesn't work then! And I told EVERYONE there'd be a fairy at my party. And I want a fairy at my party!" I'd been a bit worried Pam might cry, but her anger seemed to be over-riding everything else at the moment. And that anger was directed towards Eric.

"What's Pam yelling about?" Felicia asked from behind me.

"There's no fairy. In the fairy catcher" I said.

"Bummer" Felicia replied. "There's supposed to be a fairy at her party. She's been telling everyone. I'm going to get some toast." And then she walked off. How come I didn't know about the fairy being promised to everyone?

"Pam. Calm down" Eric said firmly. Yeah, Eric wasn't big on the whole being blamed for stuff. Especially by any of the kids.

"I don't want to!" she roared. Why were all my kids so loud? I mused.

"Stop this right now!" Eric yelled back, and I got my answer. Thank goodness Kennedy and Danny weren't due back until later in the day.

"You're being mean!" Pam yelled at Eric. "You're being mean and I don't have a fairy and my life is sucky and you all suck and I don't like it here and I'm going…somewhere else!" With that she turned and ran past me into the house. Ivan came down the steps, as Pam didn't shut the door behind her, and walked over to Eric to console him. Eric didn't really seem to want consoling.

So I decided to go after Pam instead. "I'll go and talk to her" I said to Eric.

"Uh-huh" he said, not looking at me, but looking down at Ivan instead.

Pam was in her room with the door closed, and when I opened it she said "Go away."

"Sweetheart, don't be sad" I said, hoping she'd cheer up a bit.

"I'm not sad" Pam said, looking at me from her spot on the bed. "I am pissed off". Yeah, having bigger kids in the house, Pam had a great vocabulary. Unfortunately not all of it sounded wonderful coming out of the mouth of a nearly five year old.

"Well, I get that" I said. "I know it's frustrating when things don't go the way you thought they would, but…you've still got your birthday to look forward to. And your party."

"There won't be a fairy at my party" Pam grumbled. "And it's Daddy's fault and I'm not talking to him."

"Well, that'll make Daddy sad" I said.

"Good. I want him to be sad. He shouldn't promise me this stuff if he can't deliver." I sighed. Pam really did hear too much sometimes.

"Uh…I don't know that he promised a fairy as such…" I said.

"Don't care. Don't like him" Pam crossed her arms and looked grumpy, and amazingly like Eric.

"I think…well, just I think that'll make Daddy sad. If he thinks you don't like him."

"Well, I don't. So he can…he can…" she didn't finish that sentence.

"OK. Um…I'm going to go and get some breakfast now, so you come out when you want."

"I'm never coming out!" Pam replied.

"Well, just when you want to" I said again, ignoring her last statement and feeling totally out of my depth. As I left her room it occurred to me that I had thought I'd be out of my depth with the fourteen year old daughter that day, I hadn't expected the four year old to be throwing me for a loop as well.

Kids were hard.

When I got to the kitchen Amelia had appeared, and was standing there talking to Eric, smiling at him broadly as he handed her…some coffee? It appeared that Eric had lost one fan and gained another all in the space of twelve hours. It was like we'd slipped into another dimension.

"She's not coming out" I said to Eric as I walked over and took the cup of coffee he handed me. "I think we'll just leave her until she calms down."

"Mmm" Eric said, nodding.

"So, um, how are you this morning?" I asked Amelia.

"Oh. Um…" her eyes slid towards Eric. He nodded, and she continued. "I'm OK. I mean, I don't feel really crappy like Dad said I might, but that's because he gave me that stuff last night. I really like coffee now." She nodded to herself and smiled at Eric again over her coffee cup. Yep, I was definitely in bizarro-land, Pam fuming at Eric and Amelia gushing at him.

Luckily the happy medium in the family walked in then. "Why're you home?" she asked Amelia.

"Got bored" Amelia said, shrugging.

"Yvetta finally lose that last brain-cell?" Felicia asked.

"Shut up!" Amelia replied.

"You shut up!" Felicia retorted, but she didn't sound particularly angry. Sometimes I wondered if she just went through the motions of fighting with her siblings for form's sake. Most of the time I got the impression she didn't really care. Well, she cared what Sam was doing. Sam just annoyed her on principal.

"You should both shut up" Sam said, as he came in to return his plate.

"Everyone should shut up" Eric said.

Felicia shrugged and left again, Sam put his plate in the dishwasher; pushing away Eddie who tried to climb inside it to investigate the interesting smells, and Amelia went back to watching Eric out of the corner of her eye. I decided to feed the pets and let them all get on with it.

EPOV

I went to bed thinking I was doing a fucking OK job at fatherhood, but five minutes after getting up that illusion was pretty much shattered by Pam's lack of a fucking fairy. Why she wanted a fairy in the first place was totally beyond me. I mean, fuck. What the fuck would it do? Sit there and fucking shit sparkles?

But somehow she'd got the fucking stupid idea that I was going to get one of these things for her because I'd agreed to help with the fucking stupid fairy catcher. That was a move I was now regretting.

And now I was stuck thinking about how to get her a fucking fairy for her party. I wondered if I could just stick wings on that fucking stupid cat that was trying to climb into the dishwasher, because, fuck, he was fuck all use for anything else. But he wouldn't fit in a shoebox. And he wouldn't exactly impress her friends at the party. He didn't impress anyone much, and certainly not Stan who had taken advantage of the fact that he was distracted by the dishes to start a fight, and now Sookie was trying to separate the pair of them, while telling Stan off and crooning at Edward. I wasn't sure what was worse sometimes, the kids or the pets. I sighed, and rubbed my face.

"I'm sorry, again" Amelia said. "I guess you're tired." She'd been surprisingly pleasant this morning. Far too pleasant. I figured it wouldn't last, but I wasn't sure how we could harness the pleasantness while it was around.

"It's OK" I said. "Like I said, it's my job."

"Kind of a stink job" Amelia said, taking another tiny sip of her coffee. She kept telling me she liked it but she wasn't exactly drinking much of it. Still, there were worse things she could be drinking; we'd already proven that one.

"I signed up for it" I said to her, while watching Sookie try to balance the plates of cat food while the cats tried to trip her up.

"Yeah. You did, didn't you?" Amelia said. "I mean…that's weird."

"What's weird?" I asked. I'd gone back to thinking about Pam. She'd been in her room for a while. Maybe I should go in there?

"You know. Moving in. With us, like, Mum and me and Leesha. It wasn't just Mum. So…you don't get that. In books and stuff."

I shrugged. It probably depended on what books you read and most of the time Amelia seemed to have shittier taste than even Sookie did.

"I guess though…Yvetta's step-dad, he, like brought her over. With her mum. But then…you know, they split up and stuff. You only see it in real life."

"Yeah" I agreed, really only half-listening. Yvetta and her mother were not on the list of things I wanted to discuss.

"And he didn't want them in the end" Amelia said. She was quiet for a while. "I don't think she'd ring him" she said, and I was totally lost now.

"Who?" I asked, and I nodded at Sookie who was holding up the loaf of bread to see if I wanted any toast. I wondered if she'd make eggs too, or if I should make eggs. Eggs might be good. And more coffee. I was fucking tired.

Amelia sighed. "Yvetta. She wouldn't ring her dad. But I can ring you."

"Yeah" I said, thinking that we'd already established that and this conversation seemed to be going round in circles and Sookie was busy putting that Marmite shit on her toast so I might have to get the eggs out myself. Could I be fucked making eggs? I looked at the clock on the oven that Sookie loved. It was likely to be a long fucking time until lunch so eggs were probably a good idea.

"So, uh. You know. Thank you!" Amelia said brightly. Yep, conversation going in circles.

"You can owe me" I said, hoping that might give me an out. I put my cup down and walked over to get the frypan out.

"OK" Amelia said, and then I think she left the kitchen.

SPOV

Pam did not cheer up in a hurry. She finally emerged from her room, but kept well away from Eric. Eric didn't appear pleased at the new development in their relationship and took it out on Stan who tried to ankle-tap him as he walked down the hall. Well, ankle-tap might be a bit of a mild description for it. It was more a tackle with claws, but Eric wasn't pleased with it either way.

The boys buggered off away from Eric and his gloom and went outside to do God knows what. With the shovel.

"Did you know they've got the shovel?" I said, watching them walk across the lawn with Sam carrying it. Eric had come into the kitchen to return his cup, up until then he'd been holed up in the office with his tax stuff.

Eric shrugged. "They did ask me, if that's what you're asking" he said.

"But why? What's it for?"

"They're digging a hole, Sookie." Eric sounded like he was explaining that to the slow member of the class.

"But what's the hole for?" I asked, and Eric just shrugged. "I didn't ask" he said, and he left the kitchen. I was a bit worried about having to host a party here the next weekend where I didn't have to just worry about the potential for rain, but also the possibility of there being large traps lurking in the garden. My worries weren't allayed when I heard Tray yell "Dad! Dad, do we have a pick-axe?"

Mostly though I worried about Pam. And Eric. And what I still probably had to talk to Amelia about. It was a lot of worries for one Sunday and I decided I'd worry about the hole on another day, possibly when Ivan went missing.

Pam and Eric ignored each other through lunch and in the afternoon I found her with Amelia. She'd finally got Amelia to paint her nails for her. "See?" Pam said, holding up one hand. "We're putting the rainbow sparkle over the dark pinky-purple. I'm going to have this for the party. This is a test-run."

"Yep" Amelia agreed.

"Well, that looks nice" I said.

"I know!" Pam agreed.

"So…uh. I just wanted to say, um…Daddy's kind of sad that you're not talking to him" I said.

Pam looked straight ahead. "He promised me a fairy. I didn't get a fairy. Daddy sucks."

Amelia looked up from Pam's toenails. "Daddy doesn't suck" she said.

"Yeah! You said he did!" Pam sounded shocked.

Amelia shrugged. "Nah. He's alright. He kind of saved me."

"From a dragon?" Pam asked her blue eyes wide.

"Um…kind of" Amelia said, putting the top on one bottle of nail polish and opening another. "He, uh…well he was there. And he was great. And he's kind of scary sometimes. Good scary."

OK, I wasn't sure I needed to know why Eric had to be scary, but I was interested in Pam's reaction to all of this. She huffed and she looked at the toes Amelia was painting and finally she said. "He's alright."

"You can always have Mum" Amelia pointed out. "She's the underpants fairy."

Pam looked me up and down. "Not enough sparkles" she said. "I wanted a sparkly fairy."

Amelia shrugged. "You've got sparkly nails" she said.

"I do" Pam agreed, examining them. "Can I do yours, Ames? Please?"

Amelia sighed. "Alright. But don't mess them up!"

"OK" Pam said, happy that her big sister wanted to hang out.

Felicia stuck her head in the door. "That stuff pongs!" she said. "It'll rot your brains and turn them all to sparkles." And then she left again, although I could hear her yell "Dad! Dad, Sam and Tray are making a huge fucking mess in the garden!"

Pam didn't really seem to be taking Amelia's advice at dinner; she was pretty much still ignoring Eric. My biggest problem at dinner, though, was getting Sam and Tray to actually come in and eat and leave their new project.

"We're coming!" Sam had yelled, from the back of the section, and then they hadn't appeared.

In the end Eric had had to go and haul them away from it and get them to wash their hands and sit down at the table.

"So, you're, uh…digging a hole?" I asked Sam.

"Yep" he confirmed.

"Why?" I asked, hoping they weren't thinking they could dig through to the Northern Hemisphere.

But Sam just shrugged. "S'fun" he said, as he looked around the table, scoping out what everyone else had on their plates. He stopped at Amelia's plate of mushroom risotto. "How come you don't have spaghetti?" he asked.

"I don't eat meat" she said. Sam wrinkled his nose. "It's in the sauce, dumb-dumb!"

"That's lame" Sam said.

"You're lame" Amelia replied. "And that hole is a really lame idea."

Sam shrugged, and went back to eyeing up Tray's rapidly-diminishing plate of spaghetti bolognaise.

I got to do Pam's shower and read her a story as I was now the favoured parent, apparently. It hadn't been a position I'd actively campaigned for, and it wasn't one I particularly wanted. God knows, Eric had been upset enough about Pam starting school in a week; he didn't need her abandoning him altogether. I think sometimes the kids forgot he had feelings too.

But my talk about apologising to Daddy fell on deaf ears, I think. "He really does love you" I said. "And he'll be sad."

"I'm sad!" Pam said. "I don't have a fairy!"

"I don't think a fairy is everything. Isn't it better to have people who love you?"

Pam sniffed, and hugged Mr Fluffy to her chest. "But my fairy would love me."

"From inside a little box? I don't think it would be real love. She'd be in prison."

"It's not prison! It's her house!"

"Pam, it's a shoebox. With holes in the top. It's not really a good place…for a fairy."

Pam thought about that. "I'd let her out. To fly around my room. Once she promised she wouldn't escape."

"But she'd miss her family. Wouldn't you miss your family if someone took you away from them?"

"Um…" Pam said. "I'd miss Amelia. And Stan. And you." I tried not to be upset I ranked below Stan the cat. "And Daddy" she said in the end. "Because you and Amelia and Stan don't throw me in the air like he does."

"No" I agreed. "We don't."

Eric stuck his head around the door. "Goodnight Pam" he said, kind of gruffly.

Pam looked at him and they both regarded each other for a moment while I resisted the urge to bang their heads together. They were both stubborn and if someone didn't back down now, this was going to go on forever. While I waited I entertained myself with just that image, me dead and Eric and Pam stuck together, still not talking to each other. It might serve them right, I decided.

"I really wanted a fairy" Pam said in the end.

"I know" Eric said, coming in and sitting on her bed behind me. "I just…I'll try to get you one for your party."

Pam's face lit up. "A real fairy?" she asked.

"A real, uh, pretend one. A really good pretend one."

"Oh" Pam said, a bit sadly.

"Which would be much better, because, well, fairies do bite, after all" Eric pointed out. "And if people get bitten at your party, then they might not enjoy it."

"But what if she just bites the annoying people?" Pam said. "I think you're allowed to bite the annoying people?"

"Have you been talking to Felicia?" I asked, but Pam looked blank and Eric carried on. "But their mommies and daddies might not think they're annoying and be sad that our fairy bit their kid."

"I guess" Pam agreed, with a sigh. "I guess the biting would be bad, and if Izzy annoyed me she might get bitten, and then she'd cry and one of the Bella's would have to sit with her, and they wouldn't be sitting where I wanted them to, so…that would suck."

"It would" Eric agreed, probably not really grasping the image Pam had going on there of all her party guests paying homage to her. I hoped she didn't want a throne. "So we'll get a fairy, but a less bitey one, OK?"

"OK Daddy" Pam said. "Can she have pink and silver sparkles?"

"Whatever you want" Eric said. I hugged Pam, and then moved off the bed, so Eric could slide up and hug Pam too.

"It'll be a great party" Eric assured her.

"And then I'll be a big schoolgirl" Pam said, excitedly, totally ruining Eric's mood from the way the expression changed on his face.

"Yep" he agreed, sounding kind of strained.

We left Pam in bed and I looked at Eric. "Guess I'd better talk to Amelia now that Pam's climbed down off the ledge" I said to him.

"Yeah" he said, looking thoughtful. "Yeah…Amelia."

I left him to it and went to find the daughter with a whole other bunch of stuff to talk about. I almost wished it was fairies and sparkles, but I doubted there'd been any of those at the party she'd been at. Her world had moved far beyond that these days and, quite frankly, that scared the shit out of me.

Maybe Eric had it right and we should stop them growing up? At that point in time, it seemed like the most brilliant idea ever.

Thanks for reading!