CHAPTER 10: A LITTLE GIVE AND TAKE

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to decide whether he's going to be hardheaded and let the woman of his dreams walk away from him, or if he's going to beg and plead like a little pussy until he gets her, even if it means being persecuted by the Best Mates Forever club (A.K.A. Padfoot and Moony) for months, no…years to come.

Well, it was time for me to make that decision, and I'm really good at being a whiney bitch.

If Sirius has ever taught me anything, it's how to get what I wanted, and to stop at nothing in order to do so. Since first year I've known what I wanted – Lily Evans with a big diamond ring on her finger, gifted to her by none other than yours truly.

Sure, I might only be seventeen. But age doesn't make a difference when you've been bit on the ass by the Love Bug. I hope some of you will understand.

If you do understand, I'm sure it would make sense WHY I wanted to beat Collin's face in for even looking at her at that bookstand. When Lily is around another guy, I turn into a jealous monster. I can't help it. Everyone should know I plan on marrying her, including Lily herself.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. Showering usually relaxes me before sleepy time, but when I walked out of the washroom and saw her snoozing on the bed next to mine, her mouth hanging open with a lovely small pool of drool on the pillow, I got nervous for the first time in a long time. It was more of a panic when I thought about losing her to some douchebag named Collin, who by the way, was not nearly as attractive as me on any level.

I spent the whole night brooding, thinking of devious schemes to get him to leave her alone. Telling him she had herpes wouldn't work. She'd find out and I'd wake up one morning missing "Little James". There really wasn't any way to get him to go away except to make it clear to him she wasn't available…and the only way for that to happen was if she actually got the "hots" for me out of the blue one day.

Then I started thinking about her actually being into me. You know, the whole idea was not so farfetched. She seemed pretty frisky with me in the alleyway the day before. But you never know with Lily. It's like she's got multiple personalities. That happens with the perfectionist types – they're either wild and crazy or completely straight-tie, nowhere between. I don't know if it scares me or turns me on.

Yes, definitely the latter. So then, as I was laying there in bed that night, being an insomniac…I started to think about Lily naked. It wasn't the first time I'd thought about it, obviously. But it was different when she was in the same room as me, all innocent and stuff. For some reason, instead of just wanting to pounce on her and give her a night she'd never forget, I really just wanted to cuddle up beside her and listen to her breathe. I'd never felt that way with any other girl. I liked it, it felt right.

That's one reason I knew I needed to fight for her. Lily wasn't like any other girl I'd been around. She was everything I wanted not only in the physical sense, but soul-wise as well. She was the one girl who could actually make me feel like shit if I did something wrong. That's a huge feat, if you ask me.

Minutes melted into hours, hours melted into…well, more hours. Eventually, her alarm clock was going off and she shot out of bed like it wasn't hard for her at all to wake up. I pretended to be asleep while she brushed her teeth in the washroom, then her hair at the vanity across from my bed. She looked so tired, I wished I could convince her to just stay in bed and relax. That's what I wanted to do…keep her here with me all day so she couldn't see Collin.

Then she was off to shower, and I laid there and listen to the water patter against the tile floor, catching a faint whiff every now and again of her shampoo. I'd smelled it the night before while I was in there – it was sort of strawberryish. Made me want to eat it. I was pretty certain she was singing in there, as well. Maybe humming.

When I heard the door open up, I shut my eyes again, pretending still to be deep in slumber. When I sensed she was back in the room and it was safe for me to sneak a peek, I opened one eye slowly. She was in just her towel, her red hair making cute little curly Q's against her back. Then she turned around quickly and I shut my eyes hard, hoping she hadn't caught me peeping.

"James," she whispered. "James, are you awake?"

I didn't reply.

I heard her move closer to my bed. I was pretty sure she was checking to make sure I was still alive at that point. I felt a drop of water hit my arm.

"James." The whisper was much softer, kinder than before. When I didn't reply, she turned around and went back to the vanity. I heard her pull open a drawer.

I risked another glance.

There she was, holding a pair of her knickers. They were hot, too. Sort of lacy and satin-y. Purple – one of my many favorite colors on her. She started sliding one of her feet through, and I felt a pang of guilt surge through me. I was disgusted with myself.

I shouldn't be watching her do this. She thinks I'm asleep.

But I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. The way she moved was so sensual and appealing to me. She looped her other foot through the leghole and slid them up her pretty legs until she was hiking up her towel to fit the waistband just above her cute butt. Not gonna lie, I saw a little crack action and it was amazing.

Then, surprisingly, she dropped the towel.

She had her back towards me. All I saw were the freckles splotched all over her shoulders and the creamy skin of her back. I was in heaven. She had a perfect body; I never understood why she covered it up as much as she did.

I was in the presence of such beauty, and I still didn't want her to turn around. I hoped and prayed she didn't.

No boobies, no boobies, no boobies.

…And then she slipped on a tank top. I let out an unnoticeable sigh. I was actually happy I didn't see Lily's breasteses? I really must be in love.

Unfortunately, some…other things were a little more noticeable than my sigh, like the nicely-sized tent I was pitching under my comforter. I quickly rolled over to hide it. The movement made Lily jump.

"Good morning James," she chirped. I don't think she'd realized she hadn't put any pants on yet. I pretended to wake up, opening my eyes slowly, stretching. I also pretended to notice her purple panties, staring hard and gasping at her.

"Nice knickers, Lils." I winked. Her face turned bright red as she realized she was pants-less. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it quickly around her waist.

"You're so…" she hesitated.

"Sexy? Amazing? Kissable?" I tried to help her find the right word.

"Insufferable." It sounded half-hearted, like she didn't really mean it.

"I know," I muttered, smiling.

"Are you going to get out of bed and get ready for the day, or do I have to drag you?" She smiled as she put on some earrings.

"You'll have to drag me. I'm afraid I lost the ability to stand up or perform everyday activities such as showering myself."

"I am afraid I can't help you there. I just finished my shower."

I made my puppy-face at her.

"Didn't you shower last night anyway?"

"Well yeah," I said. "But I like to make sure I smell good all the time."

She walked over to my bed, standing next to me as I lay there. She bent over, her damp hair falling into my face, and for a moment I thought, this is it! She's gonna jump me! But she simply stuck her noise in my neck and sniffed loudly, then slowly started to pull back.

There was a moment when my eyes locked with hers, and I almost kissed her. But I refrained and she looked disappointed. She stood back up and put her hands on her hips.

"Well, you smell just fine."

"Better than that Collin guy?" No reply. She turned around and started fiddling with the clothes in her drawer.

.::-::.

After my shower and morning primping, I walked back into the bedroom, where Lily was sitting and reading some sort of letter.

"We're having dinner together tonight, you know," she murmured.

"You and me? Yes, I know," I played coy, hoping she didn't mean what I thought she meant.

"No. Collin and I. He's asked me out on a date." She didn't even look at me, her head down as she spoke.

"I see."

"Look, James. I-"

"What's he have that I don't, Lily?" I choked a bit on the words, a strange anger building up in me.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. Don't skirt around the issue. We both know I have feelings for you. If you don't know that by now, you're an idiot…no offense."

"Well, I…I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that James. Really, you know we've never gotten along that well-"

"Because you won't try to get along with me, Lils. Don't forget that fact," I sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "Now tell me, what's he got that I don't have?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Or are you just saying that so you don't hurt my feelings? You've pushed me away this long Lily, I'm not afraid of your rejection anymore."

That struck a nerve.

"God James, I don't know!" She took a deep breath. "Listen, I don't know what's gotten into either one of us in the past couple of days. I'm confused about a lot of things, and I feel like…I'm being pressured to be with you when I don't know if I want to be. I find it all to be incredibly awkward."

"Wait, so…you don't know if you want to be with me?"

She nodded, looking at a pillow.

"So…you're not positive you don't want to be with me?"

"Um." I heard her gulp. "Yeah, I guess."

"Wooooooow. Wow." All I could do was sit there and feel the tinglies in my belly. She wasn't sure what she wanted! It was way better than her knowing she hated me!

She rolled over, shoving her face in a pillow. I heard her muffled voice. "Oh God, I shouldn't have told you anything," she whined. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Each punctuated by the sound of her fist hitting the bedspread.

I knew she was embarrassed, but I felt a renewed sense of hope that all my efforts were not totally in vain.

"So…why not give us a try, Lils?" I stretched out next to her on my back.

She turned her head and peeked out at me through a layer of her hair. "Because, you're gross."

I scoffed. "Gross? How am I gross? I'm very hygienic and actually very gentlemanly once you get to know me."

"No, not that. It's just…you're…Potter. Ugh, I don't know how to explain it, James. Collin just feels…right to me. More…"

"Go ahead and say it."

"Safe."

"Safe as in, not as risky? Or what? It's not like I'm going to murder you if we go on a date."

"It's not that simple. I don't see why I have to explain my feelings to you," she stated curtly. I could tell the conversation wasn't going to go much further. She was beginning to get agitated. Her ears were turning pink.

"Well. Fine then, if you don't want to talk. I just wish you'd be more…open to suggestions is all. See if we can make this go anywhere."

"What if I don't want it to?"

"Then it sucks to be me."

.::-::.

I made some breakfast for myself, not bothering to take care of Lily since I felt a bit aggravated with her. She stayed in the bedroom for as long as possible before she ventured out of her safety zone and into the living area where I was sitting on the couch, reading the daily paper. She walked over and sat down next to me, but I, being the hardheaded man who was letting the woman of his dreams get away from him, didn't acknowledge her presence.

We sat there for a moment. I could hear her breathing.

"James."

"Hm," I grunted.

"Look at me."

I turned after a moment and saw her smile, her eyes slightly red. Then she kissed me, and the whole world stopped.

Hi! I've meeshed you guys. I hope, for all of my devoted readers, that this will be a little something special that you will enjoy. Time for writing has not been as available for me and it makes me sad. But I was going through my computer today and found all of my old Hate to Love Him documents and it made me feel inspired to write a bit more! Thanks to all of you who have remained dedicated to my story, and who have given me the inspiration and somewhat constant reminders to continue writing! I would love some feedback if any of my old readers stop by. Leave a review and let me know what you're up to!

3 Emily B.