As a warning, I had way too much fun writing this chapter.
The first few weeks resulted in a new routine that Mina happily sank into. History of Magic was spent pretending to take notes, but really studying advanced Transfiguration. Potions involved a lot of chatting with Alice and Goldstein while trying to remember mistakes to make to slightly mess up the potions every time. Severus kept Mina laughing through Herbology, and study groups commenced after dinner which she spent half with the marauders and the other half with her friends. Mina and Sirius were paired together in Astronomy where he flirted with her relentlessly, while still managing to actually teach her a great deal about the stars.
Defense Against the Dark Arts was another class where Mina had to remember to make mistakes and slow her reaction times. When the professor- a chunky balding man named Francis Vongut- showed them cornish pixies, she forced her face into a look of slight fright and awe to match the rest of the class. Mina sometimes forgot that she wasn't in Slytherin house. Charms was usually spent goofing around with the marauders where Mina managed to annoy the living hell out of her head of house every time she knew the answer when it was clear that she had not been listening the entire lesson. He clearly was not happy that she seemed to excel while obviously not taking the class seriously.
The only class where she allowed herself to do her work perfectly in was Transfiguration. McGonagall had instructed her to show off the first day, which gave her a good reason to take Mina on as her apprentice. Thursday evenings were the highlight of Mina's week, because she could let down her facade and work to her full power. They had begun the meditations for animagus transformations that first lesson, and Mina was giddy with excitement. Her meditations hadn't revealed her form yet, and her stomach knotted with anticipation and a touch of dread every time she strained to see her animal when she meditated. McGonagall constantly reminded her that it had taken her months to learn her animagus, but Mina couldn't help but feel disappointed every time she came out of her meditations no closer to finding out her elusive inner animal.
Outside of class, Mina still helped the Marauders with pranks. Over their first two months of classes, they managed to get a Potions class canceled with a skunk-spray-bomb, turn the Defense dummies into ducks that would randomly bite student's ankles, make the whole of Hufflepuff yellow for a day, let out a hundred toads in the hallways, and best of all: they managed to get the house elves to serve only carrot-based foods for a day, which properly confused all of Hogwarts when their favorite porridge and eggs were missing and replaced with carrot cakes and latkes. The boys still wondered just how Mina managed to convince the house elves to believe that it was a new holiday, and it would be very festive to serve only carrot-fixings.
5 November, 1971
Ravenclaw Tower
Meanwhile, the oncoming winter months brought a harsh, brittle cold that crept into the stone halls like vines of ice. Janice's short skirts all but disappeared, and the first-year girls of Ravenclaw tower spent their evenings curled around the dormitory fireplace, huddled together under their combined blankets, finishing essays and giggling about the latest pranks or the couples caught by Filtch snogging in alcoves. The most surprising news of the day was Mina's hair.
"Tell us again exactly what happened," Darlene said grinning and gesturing towards Mina's bright purple hair that was straight as a pin and cropped dangerously close to her ears.
While Mina could easily see just how harmless the joke was, she knew that a normal eleven year old girl would be devastated, so she donned a mask of horror and retold the story of that morning.
"Well, I woke up and went to shower. Nothing really seemed amiss until I came out and looked in the mirror. I don't know how he did it, but I know that it was Sirius. He must have put something in my shampoo, so I threw it away. When I went down to breakfast, I had McGonagall glamour my hair like normal, and I could see a disappointed look on Sirius and James' faces. She said that the purple and the straightness could be fixed, but I would have to let my hair grow out or use a potion that would also grow out other hair. I don't know how he cut my hair!" she proclaimed indignantly to the audience of girls before her.
Pandora grinned widely, "I think it's time for a prank war."
Janice's eyes sparkled with mischief. "First things first. We need to make them complacent. Make them think that you're just going to let this go. No more glamour. We're going to clean this mess up a bit, but you're going to own it. Show them that you can roll with the punches and look fabulous. While they're snickering and thinking that they can get away with it, we will be plotting and planning."
Darlene smirked. "I say we get a little Slytherin. How about we pull the Prewett twins on our side? They seem to really like Mina, and I know that half of the school is itching to see the Marauder's get a little pay back- not that they know Mina helps them do half of their little pranks."
Mina let her disgruntled mask chip away slowly, and she gave the girls a genuine grin. "This is going to be amazing." She wished that Harry was there to see his dad and his best friend starting a school wide prank war- he wouldn't shut up about it for decades if he knew.
Pandora brought out a pair of shearing scissors from her bottomless trunk of surprisingly useful objects. The blonde girl assured Mina that she had cut her mother's hair for the last year, which did nothing to assuage Mina's worries when the girl began hacking. Mina's only comfort was the chant in her head, 'I can always glamour it. I can always glamour it'. Janice and Darlene's voice cut through her mental chanting like a razor every time they gasped. By the time her hair was evanesco'd from the floor, she was terrified to look into the mirror they handed her. Eighteen gasps. It couldn't possibly be good.
Creaking open each eye as if they were century old doors that were rusted shut, her vision finally brightened to see her reflection. She almost dropped the mirror.
Her normally long, black, curly hair was long gone. In its place was spiky, straight, neon violet strands. Her dark chocolate eyes were round with surprise and worry which gave her features an almost comical appearance. Despite herself, she reached a hand up to run through her hair. It was soft. There were no tangles. It fell through her fingers like water. When she finally pulled her eyes from the strangeness of her new reflection, she couldn't help herself. She grinned up at the girls. "I like it."
Later when all of the girls were in bed, Mina lay curled under her covers running her fingers through her hair and contemplation the situation. She was so deep in thought she nearly missed the soft padding of footsteps and her bed dipping beneath the weight of another person.
"You aren't actually upset as you seemed," Pandora stated in a whisper. It was not a harsh accusation- just a soft proclamation to remind her that there was one girl her age that she didn't have to pretend for.
Mina quietly put up silencing charms around her bed and closed the opulent bed hangings to give them privacy.
"No. I can see how harmless the prank was. But what eleven year old girl wouldn't be upset if her hair was cut off? Though I can't say I don't miss my long hair," Mina sighed wistfully. She forgot sometimes that Pandora was touched with Sight. The young girl was an excellent confidant and friend, but sometimes she forgot that she didn't have to hide from every one.
"If you aren't upset, why are you starting the prank war? It will only draw attention to you," Pandora said, her eyes looking dreamy, but behind the cloudiness, Mina knew she was actually analyzing every detail.
Mina grinned sheepishly. "Would you believe me if I said it was merely entertaining?"
Pandora's eyes cleared, and she gave Mina a shining smile. "I believe it will be very entertaining. Would you believe me if I told you that I have never cut hair before?"
Mina stared at her in abject horror, but quickly her imminent terror dissolved into peals of laughter once logic set back in. She couldn't believe that she trusted an eleven year old to cut her hair- the very thought sent her into hysterical laughter.
6 November, 1971
Great Hall
"Sirius!" James whispered with panic rolling through his entire being.
"What?" Sirius grunted groggily. His face was nearly touching his eggs and sausage, and his eyes were barely cracked open. He was hoping that James had merely seen another spider, and Remus would take over responsibility for smooshing the damned thing. However, his hopes were to no avail.
"Mina." It was the only word that could wake him up out of a dead sleep. Usually, the only time it woke him up was the times she would come into their dormitory at night to sleep next to James, but this time he knew exactly why her name should wake him up. The prank worked. He was a dead man.
Sirius' head practically shot up and locked onto his target in a second. Mina was walking into the Great Hall with her friends surrounding her bright purple head. The most concerning part of the sight before him was not the wicked smile gracing her lips. Nor was it the easy confidence in which she held the attention of the room as if she owned it. Rather, the twin boys that were on either side of her. The Prewett twins. And she was smiling up at one of them as if they were her sun.
"We're never going to make it out of this one," James groaned- noticing the same scene Sirius had.
Remus was smirking like a cat that got a canary. "You wanted a prank war," the sandy haired boy quipped. Somehow, Remus had landed a special place in Mina's heart that exempted him from her ire. Sirius and James were still trying to figure out how he had managed to find Mina's eternal good-graces, as the other two boys regularly found themselves on the end of her 'I'm disappointed' looks. Sirius had the self-awareness to understand that while Remus may be on a pedestal, and she could never stay mad at James, he seemed to be the one person that she treated with the most care. Which- in this case- meant she was going to personalize his punishment. Sirius already felt himself drowning in dread.
Despite the fear pooling in the stomachs of James and Sirius, nothing happened. Every chair they checked was devoid of sharp objects or loose screws. Their toiletries were jinx free. Every hallway they scouted held no students hiding in the shadows ready to charm their shoelaces together- though they made a mental note to research tripping charms for future pranks. Mina acted as if nothing had happened. She continued to help them with essays, small pranks, and chatted during lunch and dinner. She even ignored their absolute terror every time she snuck into their dorms.
After a week and a half of paranoia, Sirius and James decided that her retribution was over. They were so very wrong.
19 November, 1971
Hogwarts Library
A group of students were huddled in the back corner of the Hogwarts library. They were excitedly conspiring in whispers that both intrigued and annoyed Madam Pince, the school librarian. Despite her annoyance, she hesitated to break up the gathering. In all of her years at Hogwarts- fifty two to be exact- she had never seen an inter-house gathering to this proportion. As a former Ravenclaw herself, her curiosity won out, and she silently moved closer to the group to hear what they were conferring about.
"Do you really think they have gotten complacent?" one young Hufflepuff girl asked- hesitation lacing her words.
"Of course they have!" a red-haired Gryffindor quietly exclaimed. "Haven't you noticed that they have gone back to pranking Sev?"
"Why do they have some sick fascination with me again?" a lanky Slytherin boy asked morosely.
A Ravenclaw girl replied. "Because you're close to Lily, and James Potter thinks you're a threat to his 'eternal love'. Not to mention that you told Sirius to go find some blocks to play with when he interrupted a study session with Mina. We all know Black is head over heels for her," she explained in a snooty voice.
Discussion over the relationships of the teenagers seemed to erupt, and Madam Pince was about to walk away from what seemed to be a waste of her time, when the ring leader spoke up.
A different Ravenclaw girl with short, bright purple hair stood up. Madam Pince knew her to be Mina Potter- the only first year with an unlimited access card to the Restricted section. She had always seemed to be a quiet girl who took her academics seriously, and she have never caused any trouble for the older librarian, which put her on the woman's good list.
"Come on, now. This isn't what we're here for," Mina chided the students as if she was their professor. Shockingly, they all hushed at her address. "My brother and James have been pranking the school with very little opposition. Fabian and Gideon have NEWTs to study for, so we need to band together to put them in their place. Lily is right. They're complacent now, and this is the best time to strike, so we need a good plan. Are you all willing to help?"
A unanimous cry of 'yes!' rang out from the small crowd. Mina's face split into a devious smirk that sparkled in her eyes while she listened to the ideas of all of the students in the group. Some ideas were simple "Put dungbombs in their book bags!" "Replace their pumpkin juice with a shrinking potion!" but others were clearly better thought out "Slowly shorten their clothes and shrink their things so they start believing that they're growing really quickly" "Get the house elves to not clean their rooms or wash their clothes. See how long it takes for them to realize that they have to regain favor with you and not the elves!" The responses were actually quite clever, and Madam Pince found herself silently commending the group for their creativity.
However, one response- spoken quietly from the young Hufflepuff girl- was clearly the most devious. "I think we should all do a load of small pranks coming from all of the houses. The Ravenclaws can charm their quills to only write in runes. The Gryffindors can spread tiny, un-harmful rumors about the two- enough to annoy them but not hurt their reputations. The Slytherins can use their connections to sign the boys up for mildly embarrassing owl posts- like boil cream and talon-toe removals. All the while, the Hufflepuffs can use our connections with the house elves to non-permanently modify their clothes."
The idea was brilliant. All of the pranks individually were merely small annoyances, but together those boys would be out of their mind. Cunning, yet holding integrity. The girl must have been a hatstall between Hufflepuff and Slytherin.
Before Madam Pince could commend the girl any further, another spoke up. The Slytherin boy. "I think that Mina should have one prank of her own as a finale- that way Black and Potter can put together that she was involved in the other plans as well," Severus added thoughtfully.
Gideon and Fabian grinned wide and looked at Mina expectantly. "Can you do the thing?" they asked in unison.
"What thing?" asked the snooty Ravenclaw- and Madam Pince in her own mind. She was becoming too involved in the drama, and she chided herself for it but kept avidly listening.
Mina flushed ever so slightly, but explained 'the thing' to the group to the excitement of the boys on either side of her. "Gideon, Fabian, and I came up with a plan to-" she paused and flushed further. "to transfigure them both into girls- makeup and skirts included."
One of the Prewett twins piped up. "You forgot the best part!" he whined jokingly.
The other twin spared Mina and giddily explained the best part. "Once the boys- or rather girls- come into the Great Hall- we were going to present Mina with a crown and present her to Hogwarts as the heir to our pranking thrones!"
"We did not agree to that!" Mina argued back to the twins. "I wanted my prank to be at least a tad subtle."
"Pranking is not subtle," one of the twins shot back.
Madam Pince had to agree with the red-haired boys. Though she was normally against riff-raff in the castle, she had seen the pranks the Black and Potter boys had done, and she agreed that it was time for a little pay back. The small part of her that had the sorting had considering Gryffindor wished that the students invited her into these discussions. No one thought that the librarian could have a fun bone in her body, but although it was well hidden, she had a scheming streak through her youth.
Stepping from the shadows of the stacks, Madam Pince stood at the back of the circle of students. Each one nearly jumped out of their skins- sharing an equal look of anxiety and fright. Internally smirking at their expressions, she continued with her prepared speech.
"I do not believe that the library is a conference room for your little plots," she barked in her normal, sharp tone reserved for loud students. However, before the inevitable spewing of 'We're sorry' could come, she continued in the same sharp tone, "However, I believe I have a solution to your problem."
Shock and awe greeted her announcement, and she couldn't help but let out a small smile. "If Miss Potter does not wish for the whole of Hogwarts to be gaping at her, then leave her be. There are plenty of other ways to give her commendations. Such as the staff awarding her points," the librarian offered with a sparkle in her brown eyes.
26 November, 1971
James and Sirius had been having a miserable week. It started off with no less than five owls each of advertisements varying from cream for underarm fungus to 'natural male enhancement'. Luckily mail was easy to hide, but their flushed, nervous faces were on display for the whole of Gryffindor to gossip about. Rumors began to spread that they were failing classes and hiding away the disappointed letters from their parents. Many Gryffindors started asking if they needed tutoring or if their detentions from pranks were actually remedial lessons. Some of the sixth and seventh year Gryffindors took their embarrassment as symptoms of puberty, and three older Gryffindor boys asked them if they wanted to talk about any 'funny' feelings.
Rumors also spread about small things: they liked to get their nails manicured, they spent hours getting 'perfectly messy' in the mornings, and they wrote so poorly they couldn't read their own handwriting. The last rumor came from another mysterious new occurrence: their quills were only writing in runes. They had to keep a book on rune translation sitting beside them anytime they needed to read their notes and couldn't understand a word they wrote. It was unendingly frustrating, and Sirius was aggravated that his reputation for being a prankster was being squashed by his constant need to carry around rune translation books. He was starting to look like an over-achiever.
Finally, to top of their shitty week, their clothes were different. Some days their clothes were too tight, others they were too short or long- one day, their clothes were so thick that they found themselves sweating profusely through each of their classes. All attempts of questioning the house elves led to being kicked out of the kitchens and their morning breakfast being cold. Overall, it was maddening.
Both of the boys knew- they just knew- it all had something to do with Mina. But, every time she was accused, her eyes shone, and she pleaded that she had nothing to do with it. Normally, they would not believe her from her words alone- she was a master liar- but in this case, they could not catch her in a single act. She hadn't slept in their dorms that week to modify their clothes. Their quills didn't work in all of their classes, not just the ones with her in it. They would easily blame her for at least the mail, because they knew the rumors came from Gryffindor, but she was so shocked at the card for 'natural male enhancement' that even Sirius in all of his paranoia couldn't believe that someone could laugh that hard at a joke they had set up.
So, that night that she crawled into James bed with a little frown on her face, and both boys begrudgingly let their eyes close and their minds drift off to sleep. They should have known better.
27 November, 1971
Gryffindor First Year Boy's Dormitory
Light. Sirius groaned as his mind lifted out of the dream world of professional Quidditch games and butterbeer toasts with friends into the bright reality that was his four poster bed. His body ached- probably from his wrestling match with Remus the night before, which he lost. Stretching his limbs, he noticed that the sheets felt particularly soft that morning, which made getting up all the more difficult. Sitting up, he opened his curtains, and nearly choked at what he saw.
There was a girl in James' bed. Not Mina- she always rose earlier than the sun and was often out of their dorm before anyone could wake up to see her leave. The strange girl in James' bed had short, wild black hair and was completely topless. Laying on her stomach, she snored delicately in a similar manner to James.
That thought flicked on a lightbulb in Sirius' early-morning brain. "James!" he shouted.
The strange girl bolted upright. Familiar hazel eyes and a disturbingly attractive set of breasts greeted him. The same strange girl spoke in James' voice. "Who the fuck are you? Sirius?!"
Not expecting that particular greeting, Sirius began to gesture confusedly at James' attitude when he caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of a bedroom mirror.
Merlin's saggy balls. He was a girl. An ugly girl if he had ever seen one. While his aristocratic cut jaw line and strong brow made him a handsome guy- it was not made to be paired with a small set of perky breasts and delicate hands.
"Dammit!" Sirius exclaimed, hitting his bedpost- and immediately regretting the pain that shot through his new delicate hand.
"Mina," the girl version of James groaned with both dismay and a twinge of begrudging respect.
Sirius couldn't help but agree.
~oo00oo~
Remus had nearly had the wolf scared out of him that morning upon waking up to two topless, angry girls in his room. Those girls being James and Sirius had turned his fear into uncontrollable laughter. Even as they headed down for breakfast in the Great Hall, every time he caught a glimpse of their baggy shirts to hide their new additions made him fall into another round of tumultuous laughter. Not that they could hide much, the makeup that was charmed onto their faces couldn't be scrubbed off despite their best efforts, and if the whole of the school couldn't see their newly acquired breasts, they would sure see the bright pink eyeshadow and lipstick.
Both James and Sirius stomped to their regular seats, ignoring the stares and hushed whispers of the Hogwarts gossip mill. Remus sat at his normal spot, and although he was usually one to avoid attention, he basked in the embarrassment of his friends who heard every question Remus so readily answered.
"Who did it?"
You'll find out soon enough.
"Is the makeup permanent?"
No. But it obviously isn't coming off very easily.
"Do they really have boobs?"
Yes.
Remus knew the second Mina stepped into the Great Hall as he was avidly watching his best friends' faces, and when Mina entered with the Prewett twins, their embarrassment abruptly turned into anger.
It seemed that she had taken a card out of James' hand, and she swaggered up to Gryffindor table without a care in the world. She ignored her twin's enraged expression and plunked herself down right beside him- going so far as to steal a piece of bacon from his plate. Once she was done chewing, she looked at his sputtering form and merely gave him a smirk.
"You wanted a prank war. You got a prank war," she said simply, not hiding smile that followed- it was clear she knew she had won and was quite pleased with herself.
"You. You. You!" James stammered. His righteous anger burned in his eyes, but impaired his ability to form words, so he was left to merely gesture wildly and flop his mouth open at odd intervals.
"We're girls!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. The sudden shift of the entire Great Hall's attention reddened the tips of his ears and base of his neck.
"That's quite the observation, Sirius," Mina replied sarcastically. To the casual observer, it looked as if Mina was already bored of the conversation, but Remus could see a sparkle in her eyes and a slight crinkle beside them that told him she was truly enjoying herself. He felt that if he squinted hard enough, he could see the strings she was craftily pulling to make the boys do exactly as she wanted. The girl was a genius with a devious mind, and Remus was grateful that she spent her time studying and setting up harmless pranks rather than plotting to rule the world- he had no doubt that she could succeed if she wanted to.
At Sirius' gobsmacked face, Mina bid her farewells. "I'll see you later boys," she said airily, kissing both on the head before amending herself. "Sorry- girls." She cast one last unapologetic glance, then trounced back to the Ravenclaw table leaving her brother and Sirius in a daze.
"She was definitely behind this whole week," Sirius said dumbly staring after her. His thoughts swirled between shock and admiration.
James did not appear to have heard anything after Mina left, his only sign of life being his ever opening and closing mouth.
"You both are idiots," Peter peeped in for the first time that morning.
"I have to agree."
~oo00oo~
The student body of Hogwarts were in a unanimous decision that the day could not have been any more entertaining. Even the staff would scurry off to the lounge to gossip about the magnificence of Mina Potter's prank. Madam Pince had warned the staff of the plans that Mina's group had made in the library, and it took very little effort on her part to convince them to participate in one final, epic prank. The staff were bubbling with excitement as they watched the events at breakfast unfold, and little did the students notice, they began planning themselves.
Through every class that Mina Potter was in, professors found some way to award her points. Even Flitwick, who was notoriously annoyed with her easy intelligence, awarded her fifteen points for her excellent work with beauty charms. McGonagall awarded her ten points for her 'fine display of advanced human transfiguration', Vongut greeted her with five points for 'defending against the stupidity of teenage boys' as soon as she entered the door, and Madam Hooch didn't even try to cover up her amusement when she awarded Mina five points for just breathing. The points weren't limited to classes, even teachers in the halls awarded her a point or two for any reason they could come up with.
Normally, the rest of the student populace would be angry with such a blatant display of favoritism, except that Madam Pince must have mention the other members of the group, because Alice Max, Severus Snape, the Prewett twins, Darlene Dippet, Janice Knuttlebee, and Lily Evans all found themselves earning odd points throughout the day for seemingly normal tasks. The students had never seen the staff so amused. Even Headmaster Dumbledore put in his fair share drama when he personally walked down to James and Sirius to award them ten points for 'being fine sports', but then patted Mina on the back and whispered, "fifteen points to Ravenclaw for the entertainment."
By the end of the day, the boys got the point: don't prank what you can't handle.
A.N/ I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. As always, I hope you have a fabulous week. Please review with comments, critiques, and criticisms.