Happy New Year! I know I took my time, but as said before; real life gets in the way and money has to be earned! I hope you like this chapter, if not then... ehh so be it :)
Enjoy!
It was indeed hard. Emma still avoided her like a plague and Regina wished for the first time, that she didn't had to go to work, so she could keep hammering on that damn locked door. She cursed it every time she walked by and had found out that Emma still talked to Ruby and Belle, even though it was minimal, it still hurt. Regina had put herself into work, pushing through the cases and making sure she could take time off without having her boss on her back. Regina exhaled slowly as she stepped into the apartment very much later than usually. She kicked of her heels, put her purse down on the small table and went to the kitchen. She yawned and coughed heavily when she saw Emma standing at the counter, drinking some water. Emma turned around in surprise and blinked before she tried to move past Regina.
"Emma, stop…" Regina gently grabbed her arm and made her turn to face her again. "I miss you" Regina spoke low and looked into Emma's eyes to make her understand it was the truth. Emma could clearly see that Regina meant it and her heart soared for the beautiful woman in front of her. She knew she had hurt her and she wanted to make it right again. It had been almost a week ago they had talked, or since Emma had talked to Regina. Regina had tried several times since that night. Not knowing what to say at the moment, Emma did the only thing she could think of. She pressed her lips to Regina's hard, in almost a possessive way. Regina was surprised and thought of objecting the bruising but she could feel the tremble from Emma's lips and heard the tiny whimper that slipped past her lips. Emma's lips were closed and she was breathing hard through her nose. She slowly ended the kiss and Emma could see Regina's lips were trembling as well. She gently cupped her neck and pulled her closer to a much softer kiss than before. Emma pressed small open-mouth kisses along her jaw line until she was back against her lips. She ended the kiss and opened her eyes to see Regina's closed. She pecked her lips once more and Regina opened her eyes.
"There are no words for how sorry I am" Emma whispered. Regina leaned back. "No, don't make excuses for me. Under no circumstances, did you deserve the way I have treated you the last week. I was a fucking moron. A self pitying moron" Regina smiled softly and kissed her lips.
"It's alright, sweetie"
"No, it's not. There are no excuses-"
"Emma-"
"No, let me talk" She guided Regina to a chair and sat down in front of her. "I have acted like a child, so it's time I try this adult thing" She chuckled lowly and saw the small smirk on Regina's lips. "Yeah, I know. That might be an impossible thing for me, but humor me, okay?" Regina nodded and leaned back in the chair. Emma sighed and bit her lip nervously. She had no idea how to start this conversation. What if she said the wrong thing and Regina left again? She wouldn't have it against her. Emma shook her head, no more of these thought. It was what brought this situation out of hand.
"Sweetie, it's just me" Regina said softly and put her hand over Emma's. She had watched Emma and noticed how nervous she was. Emma chuckled nervously and scratched her neck before readjusting her shirt.
"Yeah and that's why I'm nervous" Regina smiled and just gave her time to find her words. "It's like… It's all so unreal and I have difficulties understanding why me. Why are you staying with me when you could get so much better" Emma shook her head when she noticed Regina was about to talk. "I know we had had these talks before but that still makes me wonder. When I heard you and your parents talk that night, I didn't hear the whole thing and I know that now. I realized a few days ago, that the way I reacted what irrational and childish, when I didn't let you explain. I was just so mad, because I thought you were leaving me and I just reacted"
"You should have me a chance to explain"
"I know. I should have"
"Maybe we wouldn't have been in this situation then" Regina spoke a bit harshly and it made Emma flinch in respond. Regina regretted it immediately and she reached over the table to grab Emma's hand. She caressed it gently and looked up into Emma's eyes. "Sorry. I just wished you had gotten your head on straight before it had escalated" Emma smirked.
"Well… it's hard to get my head on straight since I'm in love with a beautiful woman" Regina laughed heartily and blushed. Emma had missed the sound.
"Oh, that was cheesy, dear" Emma's eyes sparkled in mirth as she leaned forward and kissed Regina.
"Yeah, that's me" She looked down at their joined hands and smiled. "Can you forgive me?" She spoke lowly and seriously. She couldn't stand if Regina loathed her or didn't want her anymore, even though they just had shared a kiss or two.
"Yes, just promise me to talk to me when something is wrong"
"You're too forgiven sometimes" Emma whispered.
"Would you rather I don't?" Regina asked confused.
"No, not at all" Emma backtracked with wide eyes "I didn't mean it like that"
"I know, but Emma, I love you and these days have been hell. I don't want to relive them again at any time and now we had established that, I think it's time for bed" Regina was deadbeat tired and just wanted to go to bed and cuddle with her girlfriend. She smiled at the thought of lying in bed with Emma again. Emma nodded and stood up. She followed Regina and was about to go to her own room. "Emma…" Regina sighed heavily. "Where are you going?" Emma looked confusedly at her and motioned to her room.
"To bed?" Regina chuckled and took her hand gently as she pulled her into her room.
"Silly girl. Your place is here with me" She closed the door and smiled softly to Emma who just blushed. Emma had missed being in Regina's company and being with her, in this room, made her really happy and content again. As she lay down on bed and waited for Regina to join her, she remembered she had to tell her about her surgery. Regina quickly finished her routine and quickly turned off the light and lay down next to Emma. She opened her arms and felt Emma crawl close into her. It was heaven to feel her warmth again and she sighed in content.
"Gina?" Emma whispered after a few moments. Regina hummed. "I have to tell you something"
"What do you have to tell?" Regina asked rather anxious about the answer. Emma took a deep breath and leaned on her arm, so she could look at Regina.
"I agreed to surgery and it's scheduled when you're in Storybrooke" Emma decided she might as well say it all. Regina looked at her with shock as she sat up abruptly and turned the night lamp on.
"Come again?" Emma sighed at sat up.
"I'm getting the surgery, but it's a bit more complicated than what we talked about. We talked about getting the lump removed, but I have thought about it and talked to the doctor, and we decided that the best opportunity to beat this cancer is to remove the whole breast. It hadn't spread any further at the moment, but my tests shows the possibility and it's a risk I won't take" Regina blinked and tried to understand what Emma had just said. "They have scheduled the surgery on Friday, you're in Storybrooke. I don't know why it's so fast but I'm not going to complain"
"But I'm not here then!" Regina cried out. She swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped away a few tears.
"I know" Emma shook her head sadly.
"I'll call Kathryn and tell her-"
"That you look forward to be there" Emma took her hand and smiled softly at her "I don't want you to miss your best friend's wedding and I'm going to be okay. I have talked to Ruby and she promised to take care of me until you get home. Either way I'm not going home before Monday. The doctor talked about the risks and they want me under observation. So, I'm going to be fine. I know how much you want to be there and if it was turned around, I would do the same, but there wouldn't be much you could do either way" Emma squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly. Regina could easily understand her reasons and she knew she was right, but that didn't make it easier. She would probably be thinking about Emma either way when she is at the wedding. "We'll ask Ruby to give you updates regularly until I can talk to you myself, alright?"
"Yes, alright then" Emma smiled and leaned in to hug her. Regina wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. "I'm just scared" She whispered into Emma's ear.
"Me too" Regina held her tighter and placed a kiss on the side of her head before laying them both down. They didn't let each other go that night.
Time went way too fast for both Regina and Emma. Regina had worked way too much for her liking, but it had been necessary since Kathryn wasn't there.
"Regina" Regina looked up from her laptop to see Robin coming at her with a sour expression. "What is this?" He handed her the paper with force and Regina accepted it to look at it. She skimmed the paper and gave it back to him.
"It's the contract we made with The Enchanted. What about it?"
"It's wrong! We would never agree for this kind of management. Who decided the newbie should have this? She is incompetent and ineffective and it would never work out. We will be the laughingstock for future contracts" He fumed. Regina raised an eyebrow at him but didn't interrupt him. "Why the hell did you decide for this?" Regina turned around and looked at him with perfect composure.
"Firstly, I didn't decide for this, Mr. Gold did" Robin deflated and looked shocked. "Secondly, it may had been me that had recommended Miss Stewart, but I didn't have the final saying, that would be, again, Mr. Gold"
"Why would you recommend her? She has-"
"Has done a remarkable job with 'Four' and if I don't recall it, she saved your damn ass on that case" Robin was about to answer, but Regina interrupted "Thirdly, . I heard everything you said to her that night. I was in here when you sexually harassed her and she turned you down repeatedly. When you left that night, she worked her ass off to make it to deadline and not once, did I see you do anything. I even talked to her and she told me all about it after I confronted her with it" Robin had visibly paled the more Regina had told him. "So, I wouldn't make a big fuss out of it" Regina leaned even more towards him. "Because if you do, I'll make sure that the only job you'll get in this building is to clean up our trash" Robin swallowed nervously. "Got it?" He nodded repeatedly and hurried away from her desk. Regina smirked and sat down again in triumph. Getting Robin picked down a few nocks, had made her day. She looked at the clock and decided it was time to head home.
Emma was sitting on the couch, relaxing after a tiring day. Ruby had made her take a walk with her, not that she didn't enjoy it, but she was always tired afterwards. Regina was in her bedroom, packing the last things she needed. Emma looked at the big black garment bag with Regina's dress inside and wished she was going with her, instead of getting the surgery. Regina was leaving the next morning, and Emma is scheduled to be hospitalized later that day. It scared her shitless, but she knew it was inevitable and must be done. She felt soft lips on her cheek.
"You were far way" Regina whispered as she sat down next to her. She opened her arms and Emma snuggled into her.
"Just thinking about tomorrow "Emma murmured and yawned.
"I'm going to miss you too" Regina smiled and kissed the top of Emma's head. "Are you tired?" Emma nodded. "Come to bed" She stood up and pulled Emma into her bedroom. Emma followed without struggle and the moment her head hit the pillow, she was gone. Regina chuckled at the sight, but soon followed. It was far too soon, when the alarm blared through the air. Regina sat up groggily and turned off the alarm. She looked next to her and saw Emma deep in sleep like usual. She decided to let her sleep and went to a quick trip to the bathroom and then next the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee and began to prepare a light breakfast. Emma wasn't allowed to eat before the surgery, and Regina thanked that she didn't had the usual appetite, so that might help a bit.
"That's just mean" A groggy Emma appeared in the door. Regina smirked and nodded.
"Yes, I know. But just because you can't eat, doesn't mean I can't" She said as she took the last bite of the bread. Emma shook her head and leaned in to give a quick kiss before moving to the cupboard.
"As I said, mean" She took a glass of water and sat down in front of Regina."How are you feeling?"
Regina chuckled."Shouldn't I be the one to ask that? I'm just going home, it's you who are getting a serious surgery" Emma shrugged and swallowed the last of the water.
"Yeah…"
"Emma, it's going to go just fine. They are experts and they know exactly what they are doing" She scooted over next to Emma and wrapped her arm around her. Emma put her head on her shoulder and sighed.
"It's not that I'm scared of it. It's you not being there, that makes me really scared and sad" Emma whispered.
"Oh, Emma, I'll miss you too and I really wish that you would let me be there. Yes I know why you aren't, but it could have waited. Kathryn would have understood" Emma sighed.
"She would, and I know you could be here for one day and still make it to the wedding, but I also know that your parents are looking forward to having you home and I will not take that away from them. I'll be fine, I'll just miss you a lot" Emma kissed her cheek "How about a cuddle before we have to be ready?" Regina nodded and followed her into the bedroom where they snuggled up next to each other and stole a few kisses here and there. It turned out to be more than a cuddle, not that either of them complained. Regina cherished Emma's body, like it was the last time she had the chance to ever do this. It wasn't but as Emma had sadly told her, it would be the last time her body was whole. It made Regina sad, but Emma had promised her it didn't matter, before she kissed her deeply again. They enjoyed each other before the real world knocked on their door again.
"What're you doing?" Ruby asked as she entered Emma's hospital room again. She had made a quick coffee trip, since she knew she would need it. She took the crossword away from Emma, who in response groaned in annoyance. "What are you? Eighty?" Ruby laughed.
"I'm so bored! What else am I supposed to do, when I'm bound to this bed?" Emma whined and crossed her arms. Belle came into the room and rolled her eyes at Ruby. She took the paper back and handed it back over to Emma who smiled in appreciation as she continued to solve the crossword.
"Hey!"
"Don't be a child, Ruby" She sat down on a nearby chair and put her books down. "Why don't you take a walk or something, Emma? It would be better than sit there"
"I can't or I can, but I'm not allowed. They need to do some last tests and you know the surgery is tonight" Emma laid back in the bed and sighed. She hated waiting, both on the surgery and to hear from Regina. It's been two hours since she left her here and she missed her like crazy. "Have you heard from Regina?" Both of them shook their head. Emma sighed again. She heard two pair of chuckles, but she decided to ignore it. She looked out the window, hoping to hear from Regina soon, but in the meantime she would use the time to be eighty as Ruby said to her. She put the tip of the pen on her lips in thought. "Hey Belle? What's the name of that little dude who shoots those arrows?"
"You mean Cupid?" Belle asked questionably.
"Ah, yes! Thank you" Belle smiled and Ruby couldn't help but let out a laugh at her friend. She shook her head and looked back down on her phone again smiling.
Regina closed the trunk of her rental car and put the suitcase down on the pavement. She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair and looked up at the big white mansion, her childhood home. It still looked as intimidating as when she was younger. It's been a while since she last was there, not that her mother hadn't tried to convince her to come home once in a while. She had refused to let her mother's driver pick her up, it would only be a waste of time for him to drive all the way to Boston, when she was perfectly capable to take the trip herself. She picked up the suitcase and was about to walk up to the house, when a dog suddenly appeared, barking happily at her. She looked to her side and smiled broadly.
"Archie!" She sat down to quickly pet the dog "and Pongo! It's good to see you two" Archie smiled as he tried to keep control of his overly happy dog.
"Hello Regina. Sorry, but he caught eye of you and he's always been happy for you. I couldn't keep control of him" Archie said apologetically and smiled. Regina waved a hand dismissively as she kept petting the dog.
"It's alright. It's been a while. How are you?"
"I'm great, working my way through patients and all" They shared a small chuckle. "What about you, Regina?"
"I'm fine" She said and looked up at Archie. He had that knowing smile, like he didn't quite believe her. He was always good at reading people, but he was also very nice to not mention anything. "How about you, boy?" She put her attention back on the dog and pet him once more, before standing up again.
"Well, I better get going. I'm having a client in an hour" He pulled at the leash which made Pongo stand. "It was nice to see you again, Regina. Take care, alright?"
"Indeed. I will, and you too, Archie" He smiled and strolled down the street with his dog in tow. Regina smiled at them and picked up her suitcase again before going up to the front door. Before she had a chance to knock, the door opened revealing her mother.
"Finally! I was about to get your father out to fetch you" Regina rolled her eyes at her mother's antics.
"I met a friend. It would have been rude of me to ignore him" She stepped inside the house and put down her suitcase. "Where's daddy?" Cora waved her hand nonchalant as she rolled her eyes.
"He's in the study, playing with his toys" Regina knew her mother never had been a fan of her father's hobbies, especially those that was a childish as this one, according to Cora. Regina smiled and quickly kissed her mother's cheek before going to the study. She heard the soft playing of music as she neared the room. She smiled softly at her father's love for the sixties music. She peeked inside and saw him bend over his desk, fiddling with a train while he hummed along to the song. She chuckled which made him look up with a small frown, which turned into a big smile. He took off his glasses and put the train carefully down on the desk.
"Princess" He stood up immediately and walked towards her with his arms spread wide open. She stepped right into his warm embrace. "It's so good to see you again, honey" He moved back but kept his hands on her shoulders. "Was the trip okay, or were the too much snow?"
"The trip was fine and it was bearable. It's good to see you too, daddy" He smiled and gave her a hug again. "What are you doing?" She asked and looked at his desk. She already knew the answer, but she loved hearing her father being excited about his small hobbies. His smile widened and he looked ecstatic before he moved to his desk and lifted the small train as he began to explain it's mechanism to her.
"You and your hobbies" A slightly irritated voice sounded from the doorway. They both looked up to see Cora standing with a stern look but still a small smile gracing her features. Henry just smiled. "Lunch is ready, if you can disengage yourself" She said and turned around to walk out the study.
"We better go and join her before she forbids me, again, to engage in my hobbies" He laughed and Regina smiled at him before they walked together to the dining room.
Emma and Ruby looked up when the door to her room opened and her doctor appeared. She said her hellos and picked up the chart, to check if it all was ready for the surgery.
"Are you ready, Emma?" Dr. Basset asked with a smile. Emma shook her head.
"No, I don't think anybody would be ready for this, but I want it to be over, so I can get better" She smiled sadly. "I will get better, right?" She asked nervously and glanced at Ruby who listened closely. They had already talked about the risks, but Emma had hope. It was all she had, beside Regina. Dr. Basset smiled timidly before clearing her throat.
"We certainly hope so, but" Emma felt her stomach fell "As we talked about, there are risks about doing this. The surgeon has done this multiple times and he knows what he's doing, we just hope he's able to remove the entire lump and it hadn't spread any further. The scans didn't show any, but when we open you" Emma winched at the thought and Dr. Basset smiled apologetically. Ruby grabbed Emma's hand and held it as they continued to talk. She hated hearing about this, but she had promised to be there for Emma and she would. "We would be able to look at it properly. I hope it hadn't and your symptoms don't show it, but I don't want to put up high hopes for you to then just get upset" Emma nodded. She had talked about not wanting them to sugarcoat it and you could say they never did that and Emma appreciated it. "I came to tell you, that your surgery has been moved forward and they'll come in an hour to get you to the operation room"
"Already? I thought it was Friday? " Dr. Basset nodded.
"Yes, but there's been some rearranging in schedules and you happened to come first" She reached out and squeezed her hand. "I'll be here when you wake up, alright?" Emma nodded.
"Thank you, Dr." She smiled as the doctor walked out the room. She looked at Ruby and sighed heavily. "So, this is it"
"You'll be fine, Em. I just know it" She squeezed Emma's hand to make her point. "Has Regina called you?"
"Yes, she got there safely. I miss her" Emma whined.
"I know you do" Ruby chuckled.
"I wish she was here"
"Aren't I enough?" Ruby said in mock hurt. Emma swatted at her, before she slumped back in bed with a big sigh.
"You know what I mean, Rubes"
"I do, and I bet she wish she was here too, but you told her yourself that she shouldn't be, so you have to deal with me and Belle for now" Ruby told her with a soft smile. She didn't say it to lecture her, but to tell her she have friends with her. "You should call Regina and tell about it. She'll want to know" She gave her the phone and left the room to give her privacy. Emma fiddled with the phone before scrolling down to find Regina's number. She pushed the button and waited for her to pick up.
"Hi, Sweetie" Regina said happily.
"Hey babe" It had taken some time, but eventually Regina relented and let Emma call her babe.
"Are you alright?" Emma cursed mentally at Regina's ability to pick everything up. She closed her eyes and sighed.
"Yeah, it's just… I'm getting the surgery in an hour"
"That's early. I thought I was tomorrow? Why is that?" Emma shrugged before rolling her eyes at herself, when she remembered Regina couldn't see her.
"They had made some rearranging and I was first on the list" Emma said "I'm really nervous and I miss you so damn much" Emma felt her eyes fill with tears and automatically looked up to not let them fall.
"I miss you too, honey. Are you sure you don't want me to come? I won't be able to be there before but-"
"No no, don't. I'll be fine. I-I'm just emotional. Ruby and Belle are here and you have the reception tonight. I'll be fine and I'll make sure you get all the info you need" Regina was silent for a moment before she sighed and spoke again.
"Alright, but if something happens-"
"They'll call you, babe. Are you ready for tonight?" Emma asked, deciding to change the conversation.
"Almost, I just need to put on some makeup and then I'll be out the door"
"What are you wearing?" Emma asked smiling, which made Regina laugh. Emma's heart soared at the sound and she smiled even more. She only asked to make her laugh and it succeeded. She already knew Regina would be wearing that blue dress. "When does the reception start?"
"At 6.30, but I promised Kathryn I would be there earlier" Emma looked at the clock and concluded that if they didn't hang up soon, Regina would be late.
"Then I'll let you to it, before you're going to be late"
"Its fine, Kathryn would understand"
"I know, but I also have to make myself ready. They are coming soon to pick me up"
"Okay. I love you, Emma and I know it's going to be just fine"
"I love you too" Emma said lowly.
"You're going to be fine" Regina punctuated seriously and Emma felt herself nod. They hang up with encouraging words and Emma felt back on the bed. She looked at the clock. 25 minutes. She ran a hand over her face and closed her eyes for minutes, thinking of Regina and her beautiful smile. The time went faster than Emma wanted it too and she felt herself getting wheeled through the corridors to the operating theatre, where nurses was waiting on her. They all smiled at her, and Emma returned a small smile to them. The nerves for the operation prevented her to make it more genuine. Her eyes flicked around the room nervously as she looked at the machines and operation stuff, she only had seen in bad movies.
"Hello, Emma, I'm Dr. Stevens" Emma looked up into a friendly face and calmed a bit down at the woman's smile. "My work today, is to getting you to sleep and monitor you and make sure you won't feel a thing under the whole process, alright?" Emma nodded and saw the syringe filled with a white fluid, lying next to her. The drip is unattached and Dr. Stevens lowered the syringe as she began to inject the fluid into her bloodstream. Emma felt the coldness beginning to travel up her arm and focused on what Dr. Stevens said to her.
"Now, you just relax and take some deep breaths" Emma nodded slowly and felt herself relax. A hand caressed her arm in a comforting way and Emma felt her eyes begin to droop and everything seemed to slow down as she became sleepier and sleepier. Emma closed her eyes and let the white fluid do it's magic.