Disclaimer: Connor MacLeod and all 'Highlander' characters are copyright Davis/Panzer Productions, and Balthazar Blake and all 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' characters are copyright Disney. This fanfic is based off a lengthy Role-Play, heavily edited for added narrative. No profit made, but a hell of a lot of fun. Being an RP, this is effectively co-written by my girlfriend, who played Balthazar.

In the movies, Connor's marriage to Brenda is only a footnote, off-screen somewhere, but after four hundred years of avoiding romantic relationships, it always seemed to me like there must have been some kind of tension around it…

Sword and Sorcery

10. Things left unsaid

Balthazar was all too glad the wedding wasn't until evening. He was even more glad he'd had the foresight to pack things for a hangover cure; even so, he didn't venture downstairs until early afternoon. Duncan and Rachel were in the main room of the inn, and the younger highlander immediately began offering remedies, guilty and apologetic. Balthazar had to wave them off, in reasonably good spirits after already dealing with it himself.

Rachel seemed to be on her way out, to help Brenda with preparations, but she stood on her toes and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. "And you both make sure Connor gets there on time!"

Duncan watched her go with a smile, then ran a hand over his face while his expression melted into mild distress. "He said he was just going out for a walk. You don't think…?"

"You want me to go look for him?"

"Maybe we both should…"

"Did he seem like himself?" Balthazar had just sat down, but he stood again, now.

"You mean quiet and irritable? Yes." Duncan sighed.

"Oh. Well, I guess that could mean anything."

The younger MacLeod led the way out, and around the back of the hotel where open hills stretched way from them. Only the noise of a distant freeway behind them marred the ancient beauty of the place. They were outside the city, but Balthazar knew there was only so far one could go in any direction before running into modern civilization again.

"I'll check one direction, you go the other?"

He looked around, considering a spell for a moment, but decided that Connor couldn't have gotten too far. "Fair enough. I'll head this way."

Duncan checked his watch. "Meet back here in an hour, one way or the other?"

Nodding, the sorcerer put on his hat and strode off. It was rocky, hilly terrain of course, and Connor had gone further than he expected, but from the top of a hill he spotted a figure in sweater and jeans, standing on a heap of boulders and staring out across a small lake. He teleported across the distance silently, coming up behind the highlander with his hands in his pockets. "Connor…?"

"Mmmn." It was a completely ambiguous noise, and Connor's expression was unreadable, but he sat and gestured for Balthazar to join him.

He settled on a rock quietly. "Cold feet, or something more serious?"

Connor gave a sheepish smile and looked down. "Maybe that's it. I never had that before." Having only been married the once, that was hardly a surprise.

Balthazar reached over and mussed his hair. "You want to talk about it?"

He ducked slightly and shrugged, looking all of nineteen years old. Even his bride-to-be looked older than that. "It's just… so nice now, but staying the rest of her life…" Connor's expression sobered and aged quickly, four hundred years of life descending onto his face in seconds. "Going through it all over again, like with Heather…" He shut his eyes.

"It's the price you pay for being able to love again," Balthazar said softly. "Being able to be hurt again."

"I try to live in the present. I try so hard." He rubbed at his face. "It's so easy for her, I can't tell if she quite understands."

"I'm not sure she can, but I don't know her well. In any case, I'm sure she loves you."

"She must, to put up with me." He smiled weakly at Balthazar, and his eyes said he was looking for reassurance.

"She adores you. I've seen you together." The sorcerer smiled, although he was finding the conversation excruciating for reasons of his own.

Connor nodded slowly, thumped Balthazar on the back, and looked out across the water. "It'll never stop hurting, will it." His tone was quiet, but it was not a question.

"No. But you have a chance now. Take it."

"I didn't mean just for me." Connor looked back to the sorcerer. His moments of perceptiveness always seemed to come at the worst times.

Balthazar looked down, swallowing hard. "…She's trapped because she was willing to give her life for mine. It'll end someday; Merlin said it would. And maybe she'll still want me, and maybe she won't. But at least I'll know."

"In the meantime, she'd want you to live."

"…I can't. The hard part is knowing she's suffering, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"You're not setting a good example." Connor sighed and frowned. "People make sacrifices for love. The Kurgan told me…" His face twitched in a grimace, and he started over. "When people suffer for somebody else, it's because they want them to be happy."

"I have a job to do," Balthazar answered grimly. "Until it's done, everything else is secondary. I'm sorry. It's just… a little different."

Aggravated, Connor gave a quiet sigh, and kicked at a clump of sod. After a long moment he said quietly, "If there's ever anything I can do to help with that…"

"Be happy. It gives me hope." Struggling to control his emotions, Balthazar was surprised to note his voice was steady, at least.

Connor put a brotherly arm around him, but seemed to have nothing more to say.

Balthazar rested his face in his hands for several minutes, composing himself, then straightened with a deep breath. "I promised Rachel I'd get you to the church on time."

"You really will come visit?" The immortal stood, and offered Balthazar a hand up.

"Of course." He managed a faint smile, accepting the help.

Connor looked concerned, and glanced back in the general direction of the hotel. "Where's Duncan?"

"He went the other way looking for you. Don't worry about it, I can get him."

"I really was just taking a walk." Connor rolled his eyes. "What did you think I was going to do, jump off a cliff?"

"Well, now that you mention it…" Balthazar smirked, letting his darker thoughts drift to the back of his mind in favor of focusing on the day.

"What? What kind of idiot do you take me for?"

"The impulsive kind?" Balthazar grinned and headed back down the hill.

"I'm-! Well maybe sometimes. What's wrong with that?" He cleared a large rock in one leap and came to easily match Balthazar's pace.

Back at the inn, they had little trouble locating Duncan, who was already on his way back and anxious. Connor's return lightened the mood immediately and they separated to their rooms to dress. Balthazar had let a salesperson advise him on the new suit, and therefore hoped it would be up to modern standards. He met them in the main room, both in suits, and Connor freshly shaved. When he saw Balthazar he told him he had 'nice threads', then informed them they both needed haircuts. Duncan promptly let his hair down in revenge.

The drive to the church was short, and the building was an ancient stone chapel that might have rivaled Balthazar in age. Apart from the priest, their group was it, as this seemed to be more of a formality in front of friends than a traditional wedding. Brenda wore a modern-looking white dress, and her manner was shyer than Balthazar had come to expect. Duncan stood on hand with the rings, while Rachel hugged Balthazar's arm tight as they watched. It seemed like a slight incongruity that the priest addressed Connor as Russell Nash, but it was a legal necessity.

Balthazar was privately glad for Rachel's support, patting her hand gently. He was happy for Connor, despite the melancholy that lurked at the back of his mind. At the reception he was first to talk Rachel into a dance. Blushing and awkward, she allowed herself to be coaxed out, and on the dance floor it was clear she'd had lessons. Balthazar himself was decent, if old-fashioned at it. Duncan and Connor each took a turn with her, and Connor lightly pushed the sorcerer into a dance with Brenda. Hand in hand with her, he noticed the ivory dove he had told Connor to give her was pinned to her dress, and he informed her it counted as the 'something old' of the traditional wedding charm. Less comfortable with her than with Rachel, he quietly gave her a brief history of the item while they moved across the floor. She was polite and friendly, and openly amused by his old-fashioned charm.

After that he stayed close to Rachel, who tired of dancing at roughly the same time he did. Duncan seemed to be content to be the odd man out, although at one point Balthazar overheard Connor telling the younger highlander he could have brought Tessa. Whatever the answer was, Duncan seemed awkward over it and Connor was left frowning. Fortunately Brenda was quick to draw her new husband back for a last dance, and Duncan seemed grateful for the company of Rachel and Balthazar at the table. Rachel seemed delighted to have them both on hand, and made sure they knew she was very fond of both her 'uncles'.

Dinner was only a slightly formal affair, with champagne, although Balthazar was careful to only have one glass. The drinking was much more conservative than the night before, and they all returned to the hotel more or less sober. Rather than run off for a honeymoon, Connor and Brenda remained at the hotel a few days more to socialize, making the trip all the more worthwhile, but Duncan left the next day. He was apologetic, but Balthazar gathered he had someone important to return to. Balthazar stayed on with them, but he knew his mood was somewhat withdrawn. Gently apologetic, he let Rachel return to New York alone, declaring his desire to make a side trip to Wales before heading home. Connor only let him go with a promise to visit them in England, soon. Rachel seemed understanding, but she was ready to go back home to New York.

When he did return she was quick to visit, with his birds, and a few anxious glances. He was grateful for the company, even if they both found themselves thinking of someone else far away across the ocean.