Two years ago he had had a realization, one that was still affecting his life. Bella's sixteenth birthday had been a complete power move to smite Peter whom he had just discovered was sleeping with his mother. He planned to use Bella to wipe in Peter's face only to realize he actually loved her and even more that she loved him and had loved him for a while. Ever since that night he partied, drank, smoked, danced, was given dances, and had done basically everything else imaginable except that which had caused him to experienced perfect bliss while he slept next to Bella watching her sleep not the sex. Ever since that night he had not been able to do either thing with anyone else. The next night he had gone out with some of his sluttier friends who had taken turns bumping and grinding and giving him lap dances, but when the time had come he had gone home alone, and the next night and the next. He promised himself to find a way to talk to Bella without raising awareness to their situation, but before he knew it a year had past and Bella and Peter were arrested for intoxication and drugs, no doubt drugs he had given to Peter. It was when he discovered they had been arrested and Bella had disappeared to rehab that he had realized the connection to his inability and Bella's birthday. He hated Peter, his supposed best friend for all of the drugs he did and girls, who were not Bella, he hated his mother for sleeping with Peter, he hated that he could not openly be with the one person in his life who cared about him with no financial motivation, but mostly he hated himself for falling into Peter's revenge insanity which only led to more pain and anger than he had started with. He tortured himself day and night over the thought of maybe if he had given up his life and gone into acting that Bella would have been his girl instead of Peter's. Peter only viewed her as an accessory that could be used to attract and maintain his power, and a way to get to Bella's mom who he had been sleeping with since he had turned 18 and Bella was 13.
Bella had disappeared again and once again he was left out of the loop, not informed of her move or any details at all. Not being able to be with her as a couple had brought anger and frustration but was nothing compared to the depression and death wishes he now experienced as he could not even see her or talk to her. But after all of this time he was the one she had contacted, not Peter, not even Erica her supposed best friend, another one of Peter's sluts, but him and had asked him to meet her in a shitty little run down non-California west coast town and he had jumped at it, as he, for the first time since he had tried to kill himself two months ago felt anything and for the first time since her birthday felt happy. He sat watching the clock as he waited for the time to go to his airport to board a jet to leave New York for the first time in a year and to see the one and only person he had and would ever truly love, Bella.