You've got this new head filled up with smoke
And I've got my veins all tangled close
To the jukebox bars you frequent
The safest place to hide
A long night spent with your most obvious weakness
You start shaking at the thought you are everything I want
'Cause you are everything I'm not

And we lay we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way

Chapter 9: Makedamnsure

Edward:

Days seemed to fly by. Maybe even weeks. But the situation was all the same:

Bella hated me. I loved her and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Edward!" Alice yelled snapping me from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked my voice flat and emotionless. The way it's been since Bella found out.

"This depression is going to kill us all. You're an asshole for doing what you did. But even I see how much you love her. You may not deserve a second chance, hell you may not even get one. But try at least. We're all getting depressed now."

I nodded. But I didn't think I'd really take her advice. I didn't deserve a second chance.

And no way would Bella even give me it. And I didn't want to cause her any more pain.

I got up and threw my uneaten food out and followed suit as everyone else exited the cafeteria.

"Alice?" I asked after a long moment.

"Yes?"

"What day is it?"

She looked at me oddly and then finally said, "Thursday, Edward. It's Thursday."

Two days ago. It's been two days. Only two days and it feels like weeks.

I had to talk to Bella. I needed to.

"I'll talk to her."

She nodded "Good." And then she went into her classroom and I walked off to mine.

Bella:

What the hell was wrong with the world?

I had so much homework it wasn't even funny.

Mike kept bothering at me.

Edward kept giving me these sad looks.

Like I'm suppose to magically forgive him in two days even though he used me.

Lauren kept glaring at me.

Like it was my fault she was a whore.

Everything apparently was my fault.

Thinking back on it I should have gone to Florida.

With the bitch and that man she calls her husband.

Who knew so much drama was in one little town?

The only good thing about this whole scenario was Adrian and the Cullen family besides Edward of course.

Alice was like a sister to me as was Rosalie.

And Emmett and Jasper both my brothers.

And Carlisle was the step father I wish I had and Esme was the mother I wish I had as well.

I loved Charlie but my mother I couldn't say the same for her just as she couldn't for me.

"Bella!" This day was just getting better and better.

I slowly turned to face Mike.

"Yes?" I asked bitterly annoyance heavy in my tone. Apparently he missed that.

"I was wondering if you would like to go out tonight or something?"

Hell no! "Uh Mike that's really sweet. But I already made plans. Sorry."

His face fell and I felt slightly bad. Only slightly. "Oh. Well see you later then."

He gave me a sad smile and walked away.

I sighed. I made the mistake yesterday of going to Starbucks with him.

And now he wouldn't leave me the fuck alone.

And I realized the second you give in to something you don't want to really do that person will hold on for dear life.

I refuse to feel guilty and only go out with him for that reason.

It wasn't fair to him or me.

And if didn't stay strong now God knows what could happen.

One minute I'm in a coffee shop the next I'm in Vegas getting married and having two blond blue eyed Mike's running around. I shuddered at the thought.

I made my way to class and unfortunately this was a class I had to share with Edward.

I resisted the urge to run out and silently took my seat next to him.

I could feel his green eyes burning holes on the side of my face as I started straight a head refusing to look at him.

Again with the staring! I can't stand staring!

And suddenly is napped.

"Are you trying to permantlly burn two holes in the side of my face?" I asked without looking at him, my voice even and controlled.

Although my heart was hammering in my chest.

I hard a sharp intake of breath from him but I didn't dare even glance his way.

"No...No…sorry…I J-just….."

"What?" I snapped, "You just what?!"

"I-" Whatever response he was about to give was instantly cut off as the teacher walked in and ordered everyone to be quiet.

For the rest of the period neither of us said a word.

When the bell finally rang I quickly gathered my stuff and walked out but something stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Bella! Wait!" Edward called behind me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes and slowly turned to face him.

He seemed a bit out of breath.

"Yes?"

"I know I said that I was sorry but I really am Bella. You have no idea. I regret everything I did. I shouldn't have even done it to begin with. I know I messed up and I'm not asking for forgiveness. I hope maybe in time one day you will. But that's asking for a lot I know. But….I love you Bella. I never loved anyone before. I never even felt one tenth of what I feel for you. But I truly mean it and you may not believe me but I do Bella. I love you."

His green eyes were intense and pleading for me to understand for me to see.

And as I lost myself in them I could see it.

I could see the love, sadness, regret, hurt, and hope.

All of those emotions in his beautiful green eyes. I shook my head.

I didn't even want to think that I was in love with him let alone admit it out loud.

I wasn't 100 percent sure. But I had thought about it.

But I wasn't about to admit that to him.

"Look Edward what you did was wrong and maybe you see that now but I can't say everything is okay in two days. Maybe what you said is true, maybe not. But I can't trust you anymore."

And with that I walked away without a glance back afraid that if I did all my resolve would melt to nothing.

Edward:

And that was that. I told her I loved her and she told me she couldn't trust me.

If I thought my broken heart couldn't break anymore then I was surely proven wrong.

But lately wasn't I always?

I didn't expect her to forgive me on the spot and say she loved me too.

But a stupid part of me held hope.

Hoping that even if she couldn't forgive me yet, at least she would says he loved me back.

But how could I think that?

I had no right to. It was just plain stupid hope that clouded my better judgment.

But I wasn't going to give up. I couldn't.

I will earn Bella's trust some how. No matter what it takes.

When school was finally over I went out to my car to see Jasper leaning on it.

I rolled my eyes. Oh great now what was he going to say?

"Edward." He said once I reached him.

"Jasper…..care to tell me why you're leaning against my car?"

"I over heard what Alice said to you today in lunch. Did you talk to Bella?"

I sighed. "Yes I did."

"And?" He prompted.

"And nothing. I told her how I felt and she said she couldn't trust me. I figured as much."

"Tell me something Edward. How do you feel?"

"I love her." I said simply. There wasn't any hesitation.

Jasper's eyebrows shot up. "You really do? I thought so but I couldn't be sure."

"Yes, Jasper I really do. And I'm going to do everything I can to earn her trust back."

"Well it's about time. Make damn sure this is what you want. And don't screw up again." He smiled.

And I smiled back. "I'm damn sure that I love her. No doubt in my mind. And I won't mess up again."

"Good. See you later Edward." And then he walked away towards Alice.

Bella:

Alice once again invited me over but I politely told her that my friend Adrian was leaving in two days and until then I'd be hanging at the house with him.

But of course Alice suggested that Adrian and I come over.

And she did that pleading thing and of course I caved.

So here we were Me, Adrian, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Alice.

Edward did not look happy.

Adrian looked confused as he looked at Edward.

Emmett looked amused as he looked back and forth from Edward's pained/angry face to Adrian's confused face.

Alice was trying to distract us and get something to do.

Rosalie looked apologetic as she looked at me.

And Jasper just kept shaking his head.

Jesus could this get any more awkward?

"So Adrian you're Bella's best friend?" Emmett suddenly asked.

"Yes…."

"Anything else?"

"No…."

"Just friends?"

"Just friends…."

"No benefits?" he asked suggestively.

OH MY GOD!

"No….."

"You sure about that Adrian? That sounded like a I don't know kinda no."

OH MY GOD!

"No Emmett. We're just friends." He said firmly.

"Well that's no fun. Do you wanna be?"

OH MY GOD! This was getting out of hand. I was right freaking here!

And so was everyone else. Before Adrian could say anything I spoke.

"Enough Emmett. We're just friends that's it!"

"Ok, ok, Just curious. Well, my magic stick's calling. Be right back."

"Oh my god." Jasper said.

What the hell? His Magic stick?

Jasper must have seen all our confused faces. Because he shook his head and said,

"I'm not telling you. If you want to know ask him when he gets back."

"Jasper!" Alice pleaded.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

After a minute of heavy kissing we all turned away from, Jasper looked back at us in a daze.

"Emmett lost a recent bet. One of the guys said that who ever lost had to say they're magic stick was they're dick. And his balls were his sorcerer stones every time he had to go to the bathroom. And he had to name them."

"OH MY GOD!" We all practically had to yell.

"What did he name them?" Alice asked laughing.

"His magic stick is Charlie and his sorcerer stones are his angels."

"OH MY GOD!!"

The combination of Harry potter and Charlie's angels in one perverted joke.

That was just messed up.

Never again could I watch those movies.

Thanks to Emmett.

When Emmett got back we all looked at him with shock and amusement in our eyes.

"You told them didn't you?" He asked looking at Jasper.

"Sorry Alice persuaded me."

"Uh huh. I'm sure she did."

"That's just sick Emmett." Edward said.

"Not my fault."

We all rolled our eyes.

"Well as much…fun as this all has been I think me and Adrian are going to go. I have to go make dinner."

"Ah come on Bella! Stay a little longer."
"Sorry Alice. I'll talk to you later."

"Ugh fine."

Once we got home Adrian looked at me funny.

"What?"

"I don't think I can look at your dad the same again."

"Why not?" I asked confused.

"His name is Charlie."

OH MY GOD! Yes things were just getting more awkward by the second.

So sorry that you didn't get an update yesterday like I promised! I had to go to my chorus concert for school and I got back late and mom wouldn't let me go on he computer. About the whole magic stick thing lol that was a spur of the moment thing. I hadn't planned on outing that in there. But my friend (the same friend who I told you about on my page) did that to this guy in my school. Except it wasn't a bet. She just named them and told him during sex he has to scream out Charlie (his magic stick) lol she's sick. So I might, might put up chapter 10 today or tomorrow. No promises. Thanks to all that reviewed and actually read my author's note. Keep reviewing it might get you another chapter today :)

Random Fact: Makedamnsure by Taking back Sunday is what I was listening to while writing this chapter.

And since you have all waited so long for this update here's a preview of chapter 10:

The silence was maddening. Her eyes were filled with tears.

We both looked at her with worry in our eyes.

"What's wrong?" We fianlly asked.

More tears streamed down her face.

"I...I think i'm pregnant. "

Ok so that's your little preivew. Now who is it you ask? Hmmmm well you will just have to review and wait to see. Yes I know i'm evil :)