Author: Kate (Armygirl96)

Pairing:Mal/Inara, River/Jayne, Simon/Kaylee

Length:

Rating: K, but could go up later

Summary: Set right after the BDM. River gets news that shes not the only Academy alum whos on the loose, and she tries to find him while the crew deals with personal demons. I'm horrible at summaries, but give it a chance!

A/N: forgot to put this in last time- Joss is boss. I own nothing, so don't sue.

Spoilers: pretty much the whole series and the BDM

Chapter 10

Inara

Even though it was the middle of the night- at least on Serenity, Inara knew that it would be closer to nine pm on Sihnon, and closer to noon on some of the Rim planets- Inara couldn't sleep. Her kiss with the captain kept playing in her mind, no matter how she tried to tell herself that it wasn't that good of a kiss.

She raised her cup of chai tea to her lips, blowing on it before taking a sip.

Sighing in frustration at the normally soothing teas inability to ease her mind, she stood up and indulged in a habit the Training House had enerv been able to rid her of: pacing.

The man was so irritating! Even when he wasn't around, he was still capable of driving her to distraction. It was part of the reason she'd stopped taking clients for sexual purposes- it worried her how close he always was to her mind. How could she fully concentrate on a client when she was thinking of another?

The Training House had always preached putting everything but the client's pleasure out of the Companions mind. Until she had met Mal, it had always been easy for Inara. One of the reasons she had loved her job so much was seeing how she could make someone's day, week, or lifetime better for her attention.

It wasn't ego- it was a simple fact. Some people needed to be told they were beautiful, wonderful, by someone they considered above them to believe it themselves. Inara was good at that- or had been. Now, she just couldn't see the point in telling an insecure Alliance general how wonderful they were in bed when they would lock children up in labs like rats to experiment apon.

She had been finding herself wanting sex, intimacy, more then she had in years lately. Inara had figured it was because she wasn't taking as many clients, but she could see that she was lying to herself. There was only one person in the 'Verse she wanted.

"Damn that man! I can't even enjoy a cup of tea without him invading my mind anymore!" She muttered to herself, flinging her hands in annoyance.

"My mama always said that thinkin' a'someone a lot means that you care about 'em a lot. I don't know why you an' Mal just don't hurry up an' get to the sexin' already" The rough voice of the ships merc came from behind her, as he rummaged through the cupboards.

"How long have you been there?" Inara asked, annoyance and worry coloring her tones.

"Long enough." He replied, grabbing a protein bar. "But don't you worry, I'll keep it to myself. Next time Mal wants ta space me, you can speak up for me. I'm thinkin' I might be needin' your help soon 'nough, anyhow." With that cryptic bit of information, he left the kitchen.

"That's the last time I talk to myself in a common area." She muttered, sitting back down.

"Talkin' to yourselfs a sure sign of craziness. You goin' nuts on us, staying out here so long?" Inara jolted out of her seat at the seductive sound of Mal's voice.

"God! Why is everyone sneaking up on me tonight?" She gasped, spilling her tea and jumping away from the table as it spilled onto her skirt.

"Ugh! Another skirt, ruined. If it isn't blood, its tea, or dirt... You will cost me a fortune, captain." She said, faking a smile as she tried to wipe the stain.

Mal tucked his thumbs in his suspenders, looking at her but quickly averting his eyes. "'Nara, I got somethin' to tell you I don't think you'll like to hear."

Inara tried to crush the hope she felt in her breast. After all the times they'd had, he would have told her before now if he shared her feelings.

"Well, don't leave me in suspense." She replied with a weak chuckle.

Clearing his throat, he rocked back on his heels. "I... Well, I don't think I've been very... well, I've been a bit of a hundan lately, and earlier wasn't any different. I'd like to apologize."

The fledgling bit of hope died. "There's no need, Mal. I've been kissed meaninglessly many times. You were no different."

Instead of snapping back like she wanted him to, he took a step closer. "Now, I know you want me to fight back, but I just don't have it in me right now. Jason, well, he apparently can control minds. Make things fuzzy, make people do things they wanted to, but won't. He said... guess it doesn't matter what he said, since I'm meaningless t'you. Guess he was wrong 'bout how you feel. Figured as much, myself, but it's good to know. So now you know why I kissed ya." He left, leaving Inara confused, hopeful, and blisteringly angry at herself.

Did Mal just admit to having... feelings for her? And did she just lash out like an angry child?

She buried her face in her hands. What had she done?

A/N: God, its been so long since I updated! I'm so sorry lol, but I've been crazy busy with work, and leave. Updates should be more regular from now on. I know this chapter is short, but its all I have time to write right now. Chapter 11 should be up tomorrow night, and things will get a little hairy for the crew. Mal's confession will be brought up, and Jayne will be needing Inara's help. please review so I know if people are still reading!