I changed my mind. I'm not struggling with writing. I'm struggling with plot.
I do not own Harry Potter because my name is not J.K. Rowling
Chapter Ten:
"Look. I'm sorry."
Cilwenu felt her heart sink as she stared at the pages in her diary. They were blank, calling out to her, but the only thing she wanted to write about was already on almost every single page.
Draco Malfoy.
Bloody fucking hell… why can't I get over him?
She re-read every thing then, every memory between them coming back to her in images she couldn't find in herself to stop.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Cilwenu asked, holding her arms.
Draco leaned inwards, eyes slightly closed, "I want to kiss you."
Cilwenu closed the journal, and tossed it over her shoulder. The book bounced on her bed, then landed on the floor, neglected. Cilwenu gathered her knees to her chest, and went to close her eyes when Millicent Bulstrode walked in and hummed peacefully. Millicent was the only other person that Cilwenu knew actually spent as much study time as Althea did.
She wasn't like normal Slytherin girls. She was picked on too, and Cilwenu felt sorry for her. She was heavy-set, but as brilliant as any Professor admired.
Millicent was generally a quiet roommate.
Cilwenu didn't mind her.
"You're in early." Cilwenu said, keeping her knees to her chest.
Millicent blushed at the sudden change of attention. Her fingers twisted together tightly, and she nodded quick. "I decided to take a little break, I suppose."
"I'm sorry I never got to know you properly."
Millicent had one thing against Cilwenu, and it had been Draco Malfoy. He was one of the main people to pick on her, and rather harshly at that. With her blush darkened, Millicent shuddered out of embarrassment.
"I've heard him crying in the Common Room." Millicent said, immediately drawing her hands up to her mouth.
Cilwenu dropped her legs, interested, "He… cried?"
Millicent, unwilling to answer, grabbed her book, and opened it before setting herself down. She turned her focus to the pages, while Cilwenu shook her head.
There was no way he cried.
"I saw the perfect dress in Hogsmeade the last time we were there. I think Dumbledore is going to let us back this weekend too. Can you guys believe the Yule Ball is a week away?" Hermione said, standing out in the snow.
Cilwenu looked at her, shivering from the immense cold.
Althea was nowhere to be found.
"I don't know what colour I want to wear… I don't want anything too over the top."
Hermione kicked some of the snow into the air, "I think you would look great in any colour."
"Bugger, Hermione."
"How will you wear your hair?"
Cilwenu tugged the bottom of her ponytail, "Like this…"
Hermione made a sort of squeaking protesting noise. She threw snow at Cilwenu, who jumped up and brushed it off faster than it came into contact with her.
Hermione stomped her foot, "You will not!"
"Hermione… I don't think I can go." Cilwenu said then. Hermione was caught off guard, as if offended.
She reached out to touch her friend's shoulder. Cilwenu sighed heavily, a puff of air visible to their eyes.
"Harry is excited to be going with you… Don't let Draco ruin it for the both of you."
"Millicent Bulstrode told me she saw Draco crying in the common room."
Hermione looked as shocked as Cilwenu had when she heard the news. Hermione sat down on a boulder, scratching her bushy hair in confusion.
"Draco Malfoy was crying?"
"She didn't tell me anything else after that."
"Who didn't tell you what?" asked Luna, who popped out of practically nowhere. She had the faintest of grins, a distant look in her eyes, as always.
Cilwenu was surprised she hadn't said anything off the wall upon appearance. It was quite unusual for Luna.
"Malfoy was crying."
"Ah yes. I followed him on the way to the Slytherin Common Room. He has, indeed, cried." Luna announced.
Cilwenu rolled her eyes. "Why was he crying?"
"Over you, of course." Luna responded.
Cilwenu cornered Pansy Parkinson in the middle of the library, restricted section. Pansy said nothing, standing at wand-point in the shadowy area. Her lips were twisted into a frown. Cilwenu had one arm blocking Pansy's escape, and a bookshelf prevented it from the other side. Pansy hadn't looked as if she wanted to leave anyways.
"Why was Draco in here with you?" Cilwenu hissed. She jabbed the wand closer to Pansy, who flinched.
Most likely, after it was all said and done, Pansy would report such behavior. Cilwenu didn't care.
"Why should I tell you?"
"You have to tell me…"
"I don't have to." Pansy snorted.
Cilwenu lowered her wand, as well as her head in defeat. She clenched her jaw tight. Pansy obviously wasn't going to speak, and Cilwenu didn't know why she bothered trying.
"But I will tell you."
"You will?"
"Look. I can't stand you…" Pansy began, "…but, Draco is not acting like himself lately. I don't know what's wrong with him, but I know it's because of you."
Cilwenu looked at Pansy, straight in her eyes as she talked.
"He must really like you to be pouting like a little pussy everywhere he goes. He won't talk to hardly anyone anymore, and he won't go to Quidditch practice either. He was so much better when you first broke up, always smiling and joking, but lately… Draco has not been… Draco. I wasn't here with him. He found me in the library and pulled me aside, like you did… He told me he doesn't know why he screwed up."
Pansy let out a sigh, "Will you please talk to him?"
Cilwenu shook her head, "He won't accept my friends… and I can't be with someone who is going to keep them from me."
"Then you're stupider than I estimated, Cilwenu Snape."
"I'm sorry you think that."
"Me too." Pansy frowned. She pushed Cilwenu out of her way, freeing herself from her corner. Pansy stole out of the Restricted aisle, leaving Cilwenu alone to her own thoughts.
Cilwenu found Draco in the hallway, walking slower than his normal pace. She reached out for his cloak, where she, eventually, latched on and pulled him back. Draco stumbled, turning to disarm the culprit.
He widened his eyes when he realized who it was, and the both of them separated from the crowd.
"Cilwenu…?" Draco said in a hoarse whisper.
Cilwenu held onto Draco's sweater, almost close enough to smell his scent. "What is wrong with you, Draco?"
"What are you talking about-"
"Pansy told me you haven't been acting like yourself. I want you to tell me it's not because we broke up."
Draco stayed silent.
Cilwenu tugged his sweater out of anger, "Tell me Draco."
"I can't."
"Then why did you leave me… why can't you accept who I hang out with? What is so wrong with my friends that you left me…?" Tears built up in the crooks of her brown eyes. Cilwenu looked up into Draco's grey ones, "I've heard a lot about how you've been acting, Draco. Have you cried?"
"Have you?"
"You know the answer to that question."
He swallowed. "I was angry."
They looked at one another. Cilwenu's eyes went down to Draco's lips, and noticed something she had never before, not in her months with him.
Trembling.
"I cry too much, Draco, even without you… but I cry more because of you." Cilwenu admitted.
Draco shook his head, not wanting to fully believe it. He pulled Cilwenu against his chest then, holding her tighter than he had in a long time. Cilwenu hugged him back this time, breathing into his neck and taking in all of the warmth she so missed. They pulled away only inches, which were closed the moment Draco captured Cilwenu's lips with his.
His kisses… oh, his kisses were so passionate.
In her hair, Cilwenu felt Draco's fingers pulling each strand he found in his palm. He backed Cilwenu against one of the walls, where she lost breath for but a moment. Her stomach was turning wildly, and she felt so much hurt filling her.
Her friends wouldn't understand… and he still wouldn't accept them.
"N-no…" Cilwenu murmured. She pushed Draco away with both hands. He groaned at her, and tried to lean in for another kiss.
He was taken back by rejection, when Cilwenu shielded her face.
There, in the middle of the hallway, Cilwenu screamed her sobs in front of Draco. She shook violently, and had it not been for the wall, she might have fallen. Her tears were flooding in streams down her cheeks, in between her open fingers that prevented Draco to look at her directly. People stopped around them, and Professor Flitwick came about. There was barely a person in that hall that didn't look over from what they were doing.
Draco could only stare as Cilwenu sobbed pitifully against the wall.
"Draco, what is the matter with her?" Flitwick asked, pushing through the crowd and standing next to the blonde.
Draco was awestruck. He said nothing, while his eyes remained focused on Cilwenu's shaking body.
Flitwick looked up at Cilwenu, her being hunched down to where she was almost his height. He touched her leg, shaking her knee to get her attention.
Cilwenu only cried harder, and Severus burst through with his arms stretched. He covered Cilwenu with his sleeves, and hoisted her up from the floor right before she slid completely on her bottom. In his arms, she was holding her father by the neck as he rushed towards his classroom.
"Wenny? Wenny… please wake up." Althea begged, hovering over Cilwenu as she lay in her bed in the Slytherin Girl's Dormitory.
Cilwenu opened her eyes a little, seeing several forms of other students. She was shocked to see them all around her, and sat up straight against her pillows.
"Guys?"
"Professor Snape escorted us here. You passed out on the way back to his classroom…" Hermione said in a soft tone. She brushed her fingers along Cilwenu's cheek and smiled.
"I passed out?"
"Don't you remember?" asked Ron.
Cilwenu looked at him.
He looked around at the others, "You were with Draco and someone said you started screaming and crying. Don't you remember that?"
"No… I only remember…" she stopped herself. Hesitantly, Cilwenu looked down at her hands, blushing, "I went to talk to Draco… and when I found him, we…"
Althea tilted her head to the side, "You what?"
"Kissed."
Hermione stood up from the bed, covering her forehead. Ron went to her, and Harry took his place on the bed.
"I'm sorry guys… I couldn't help it. I know I shouldn't have… but I really… I couldn't help it."
"'Mione's not mad at you."
Cilwenu laid back on her pillow, "I'm mad at myself…"
Note: I lost what I was going to do with the ending of this chapter. Suggestions, guys! Please send some.