Chapter Ten
"Hi, you've reached Olivia. Sorry I'm not in right now, but if you'll leave your name, number and a brief message, I'll return your call as soon as possible." Olivia's home phone answering machine answered for the fifth time that evening. Where could she be? Olivia had to be home. At the sound of the beep, Alex spoke into the receiver…again.
"Olivia, it's Alex. Please pick up the phone. I know you're there." There was a long sigh before she continued. "Olivia, I need to see you. There's so many things that I have to tell you. I can't do it over your voicemail, so please call me back. I…um…hope to hear from you soon." Alex wanted so badly to tell her that she loved her over the phone, but that wasn't how she wanted Olivia to hear it for the first time. She hung the phone up and immediately tossed her cell onto the coffee table before sliding her hands into her hair. What a fucking mess. Why wasn't she answering either of her phones? She'd called her five times in the past five hours. Yes, on the hour every hour. What if Olivia was out with another woman? The thought of her at dinner with someone else made Alex want to rip her own hair out. No, she wouldn't do that. Olivia loved her. Sure, she was angry at her, but they loved each other. This would work out…if only she could get the mental images out of her head. Where was she?
Olivia sat on her own couch, glass of bourbon in hand as she watched the answering machine on the table across the living room. A small sigh escaped her lips when the phone finally hung up. What the hell was wrong with her? How many times had she said what she needed to say in order to pull a confession out of someone? More times than she can count. Alex told her that she'd never slept with Michael. What if she was being honest? There had never been a time that Alex was purposefully dishonest with her, even if it hurt. They butted heads and argued, but Alex hadn't ever lied to her. That was part of what she loved about Alex so much. On top of all of that, there was a pain in Alex's eyes when Olivia hadn't believed her that she couldn't have made.
Silence dominated the entire apartment with the exception of the sipping of her drink, dark amber liquid sliding down her throat and leaving a burning trail the entire way down. The swallowing of the bourbon caused her to close her eyes, secretly wishing that the alcohol could make everything better. It was a sobering moment considering how easy it was for her own mother to wish and hope for the same thing. Immediately, Olivia's eyes opened and she placed the glass on the table, pushing it away from her.
"No, I won't be like you," she growled the words to herself and pushed herself up from the couch. Boots hit the hard wooded floors as she made her way over to the window, arms wrapping around herself as if for comfort. There were so many times that she put herself in situations with women that only disappointed her. What made Alex different? That question only had one answer and it rested in the pleading eyes of a hurting woman begging for the opportunity to explain herself. Olivia didn't give her the chance to explain because she was overwhelmed by jealousy. It had nothing to do with Alex lying to her and everything to do with the fact that Olivia could not emotionally handle the idea of Alex being with anybody else. How was she going to continue to work with Alex knowing that she had such a hold on her? There was only one option. She had to talk to her. Somehow, they had to work it all out.
The epiphany came right as the ringing of her cell phone started, buzzing vibrating against the wooden coffee table until she picked up the phone to see who was calling her. This time, it was Elliot. Flipping the phone open, she brought the phone to her ear.
"Hey, El. What's up?"
"Olivia, we got a call. A woman was raped outside of her office building on the corner of West 115th and Frederick Douglas Boulevard. I'm en route now." Despite the need for a quiet night, she actually welcomed the distraction.
"I'm on my way," she said softly before hanging up the phone and turning onto the ball of her foot to head toward the door. At that moment, she lowered her eyes to the glass of bourbon on the table, hardly touched despite the one sip she had. Her mother was consumed by alcohol. It completely molded her mother's life and became the only thing her mother could ever truly love. Looking from the glass of bourbon to the table where her badge and gun waited for her, she had to wonder…were they really all that different? The only difference here was their drug of choice. Could Olivia truly love anything as much or more than her job? She honestly didn't know, but she wasn't going to make her mother's mistake. Olivia wasn't going to let Alex slip through her fingers without a single attempt at making it work.
I'll talk to her first thing tomorrow, Olivia thought to herself as she reached for that gun and badge, holstering them in place before making her way to the door. Somehow, in the midst of her crazy job, she was going to figure things out with Alex the first opportunity that she had. The darkness took over Olivia's apartment as she turned the light off and closed the door behind her, prepared to start another chapter of her hectic life in sex crimes.