Emotions are hard to hide. Some are harder to hide then others. It takes a master to hide every emotion at the same time. I'm just not at the point. I wish I was…
XxXxXx
I glanced around the room looking for things Sam and I would need. I found our backpacks and stuffed clothes in them. Bobby had some more personal items at his house just in case for times like these. I took a quick shower and changed my clothes. I took note that Dad hadn't been here at all. The room was exactly like it was when I had to call 911.
I sat down on the bed frustrated with myself. Dad was missing. Sammy was in the hospital. I hadn't gotten a good night sleep in about three days. Dad was pissed at me. Sammy was getting better. I felt like I had done nothing to help Sam. Yeah he had told me that I was selfless. But now that I thought about it, Dad was right. I was selfish.
I shook my head. No. I wasn't going to think like that. What Sammy said was right. He knew me better then Dad did anyway. I stood up and looked at the clock four in the morning.
Grabbing the backpacks, I left for the hospital again.
XxXxXx
When I got back to the hospital, I snuck back to Sam's room. Going to his room, I didn't run into one nurse. No one stopped me. I saw a couple of patients awake. I also so a couple of family members awake. Like myself. Not being able to sleep. Too worried about the family member or friend in the hospital.
I passed a room and stopped. There was one light on the room and a women sitting in the chair. The women was sitting next to a bed with a child in it. The child was about Sammy's age. The child was obviously very, very sick. Just by the look of the child, I could tell how sick he was. I looked at the women and she caught my eye. She stared at me and nodded. I nodded back. With that nod, we had given an I'm sorry and I hope that everything turns out alright.
After the nod, I went to Sam's room. I sat down in my chair but got back up. There was a couch in the room and took refuge on that. I looked at Sam. He had moved since I left. He was all tangled in his blankets and his arms were underneath his pillow like he was hugging it. His face was buried into the pillow. I smiled thinking that was how Sam slept when he was feeling better. That was how Sam slept when he was himself.
I got up and untangled the blankets from my brother's legs. I covered him back up and went to try and fall asleep on the couch.
XxXxXx
"Dean?"
I tried to swat away whatever was bugging me. It didn't work. I turned my head and faced what was bugging me. I opened my eyes and smiled when I saw who was bugging me.
"Bobby," I sat up rubbing my eyes. I looked over at Sam. He was in the same position from when I fell asleep. Bobby sat down next to me. "What time is it?"
"About eight." I nodded. I had slept four hours straight. That was a lot more then I usually did. I rubbed my eyes again. I was still really tired. It was like all the sleep I hadn't been getting was catching up with me. "How much have you slept in the last couple of days?"
"Eight, maybe ten hours," I looked from Sam then back at Bobby.
"That's not enough sleep for a boy your age son," Bobby said. He was always the one who cared about us. He was always the one who put us first.
"I know but it's hard to sleep in a hospital. I'm surprised that Sammy has slept as much as he is."
"Speaking of Sam, why is he in the hospital? What kind of trouble did that boy get into?"
I looked at Sam while I told Bobby what happened. "He had been acting weird for about two weeks. He wasn't eating like he usual did. When he did eat, he ate very little. It got to the point where he wasn't eating at all. Then, he began to act sluggish. His moves began to slow down. It took more effot to just get changed. He was out of breath at the slightest movement."
"Why wasn't he eating?" Bobby asked running his hand through his beard.
"I'll get to that in a moment," I sad as Bobby nodded. "Three, well I guess four days now, at about two-thirty in the morning, Sam woke me up. He was covered in sweat and he was groaning my name. He then just…collapsed.
"So I called 911 and the doctor said he collapsed because he wasn't eating food which meant his body wasn't getting energy. Since his body was getting the energy he needed, it went into shock and shut itself down."
"Has he been eating?"
"Oh yeah. If you think he looks bad now, you should have seen him four days ago. The doctor had been giving him smoothies and today he is going to try denser food. If he eats it, he's allowed to go home." I looked at Bobby. He was searching my eyes for any emotion. I tried so hard not to show the hurt and pain and worry in them but I'm not that good at hiding that yet.
"Dean, what aren't you telling me?"
Bobby had obviously seen the emotions flickering in my eyes. I turned my gaze so I was searching the floor for something. Anything. "You know that Dad and I got in a fight…"
"Yes but you didn't tell me what."
"Well, he said I should have called him when I knew things weren't right with Sam. I told him he wouldn't have come back and it just went south from there. Basically, it ended with him telling me I was selfish and that he was disappointed in me."
Bobby turned my face so I had to look at him. "Dean listen to me, you are anything buy selfish. You care more about Sam then yourself."
"That's what Sam said." I said staring at Bobby right in the eyes.
"Because he is right. Don't listen to your Daddy boy. I think I know you better than your own daddy does."
"If he wouldn't have told me I was selfish and that he was disappointed in me at the same time, I would be fine. But it was just that and Sam and not knowing what to do…"
"You were overwhelmed?" Bobby finished for me.
"Yeah, that. I was and still am overwhelmed." I said agreeing with Bobby. "I mean Dad shouldn't put all this crap on my shoulders. I've looked after Sammy since I was four. I don't mind it but still, I'm seventeen. I should be worrying about other things besides trying to protect Sammy from the things that go bump in the night."
"I agree with you boy. Your daddy put too much on your shoulders."
I looked over at Sam. He was starting to wake up. "How are we going to find Dad?"
"He'll find you eventually. Don't worry."
I sighed. "Yeah, you're right."