Request 3) Fondue

Requested by Sharkolla: Tony bragging about Fondue with Steve, to the Avengers!

It was a quiet early morning. It was actually so quiet that you could hear the birds cooing, most likely pigeons. Clint hated pigeons, they shit everywhere, and he believed it always happened to be on him.

Tony shuffled into the kitchen, a shirt that was way too big on his body (totally Steve's) buttoned up half way. A pair of boxers covered his bottom, which had a pleasant ache from last night's activities. He made a bee line for the coffee machine before any people got in his way of him and his baby.

"You have a problem you know, with caffeine," Natasha decided softly. Tony would have jumped, because no one was that quiet, but coffee.

Once his mug was filled he took two big slurps and wiped at his mouth lazily. He stared at her, opened his mouth to say something, but pushed the mug back to his lips and inhaled some more.

"I rest my case," she chuckled quietly. Her hands were wrapped around something warm, most likely tea, because she didn't drink coffee. Tony didn't understand how exactly she didn't, or how anybody didn't for that matter, because it was like human fuel .

"He has a lot of problems, you should see his work habits," Bruce murmured walking in. Tony would argue, but Bruce knew best. He shrugged and sat down at the table. He ran his finger over the rim of his mug before dipping his finger into the warm liquid.

"That's gross Tony. Don't do that," Steve chided as he strode in. It was all Steve this morning, no Captain America. He wore sweat pants that hung too low and a t-shirt that seemed too small, but Tony decided all of his shirts were, not that he was complaining.

Once Clint strode in with bed head bad enough to lose a few things in, they all sat around the table. Bruce and Steve shared the newspaper while Clint and Natasha spoke in hushed tones, maybe not even in English, and Tony was left to his thoughts.

It was bad, when Tony was left to his thoughts.

Thor came stumbling through the door, yawing and scratching at his stomach. He went straight to the toaster (modified with 6 slots instead of 4) and popped in his first batch of Pop tarts. He sat down next to the billionaire, a smile of gratitude on his face and leant back in his chair. Tony was amazed he had taught a god how to use a toaster. His life couldn't get any weirder.

Thor sat in comfortable silence.

Tony, still meddling in his own mind, began to smirk.

"You know," Tony paused, dipping his finger into his cup, to make sure Steve was looking his way, "What my favourite thing to do is?" Clint raised an eyebrow, Bruce looked quite amused, because he could name a lot of things that Tony liked to do.

"Dare I ask what?" Clint snorted, clearly intrigued.

"Fondue."

Natasha snickered into her cup when Steve's face slowly heated to a deep red.

"Tony-"

"It's best at night, and pretty much can be done anywhere, and that makes it all the more fun! I mean, it's hot and easy and so good," Tony purred cutting his boyfriend off. Bruce let a small smirk crawl on to his face, but that's all he showed related to amusement. Steve got up but Tony gripped his hand.

"Don't you think so Steve? I think you like it a lot, hey you guys? I really like to fondue with Steve! I think he's the best at it, or the best I've done it-"

"That's enough!" Steve exclaimed giving Tony's hand a firm tug. He pulled the genius up to his feet, who was now babbling about how great it was when they fed each other. By now, Clint, who Natasha suspiciously whispered into his ear moments ago, was hysterically laughing.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Thor said confused. He stared up at Steve who was pushing Tony's cackling form from the room.

"My coffee! Wait!" Tony exclaimed trying to pry his way past Steve.

"It's coffee, or the fondue Tony, your choice," Steve said adamantly. Natasha had her face in her hands, giggling like nobody has ever seen, muttering how unbelievably cruel yet hilarious this all was.

"What is this fondue you all speak of?" Thor asked, becoming impatient. Tony opened his mouth but Steve clamped his hand over it. He felt the genius lick and nip at it trying to get free, but Steve kept a steady grip and refused to remove his hand.

"It's what-"

"Quiet Clint! It's just cheese and bread Thor, honestly," Steve said managing to get the squirming engineer out of the kitchen.

"I do not understand. If it isn't of importance, then why is our good Captain ridding the kitchen of Anthony's presence?" Thor questioned, his eyebrows narrowing.

"Because Tony is an ass," Bruce laughed gently.

"I heard that you traitor! No more music when we work!" Tony called from the living room. He was sitting there, arm's crossed looking defiant as ever.

"Yea, because that's so upsetting," Bruce murmured rolling his eyes. Natasha smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, watching Steve's face slowly turn back to a semi-normal colour.

"I wish to try this fondue, perhaps with Steven!" Thor exclaimed, a determined grin on his handsome features.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Nuh-uh! Mine!" Tony exclaimed sprinting into the kitchen, and right into a blushing Steve. He paused and then placed a hand on his chin, a thoughtful (kind of creepy actually) look crossed his face.

"Actually, a three way sounds-"

"Bedroom, now!" Steve snapped pointing in the general direction. Tony grinned walking out with his hands up leaving Thor still utterly confused.

"So all this talk of fondue has worked up your appetite huh?"

Authors Notes: Hopefully funny? I tried^^ I slept over a friend's house last night so I'm running on 2 hours and a cup of delicious black coffee! This was a great request! I hope you all enjoyed! And my gosh! I'm past 20 reviews! Thank you all so much who are following my story! Cheerio!