Inhale…Exhale…

From examples I was shown from a mix of portrayals of angry women from the media and angry women in real life that I so carefully noticed was that when angry, they would attack every single living thing in contact. The severity of it was different depending on the female which as of now was probably the worst part of all this.

That's why it was the job of the surrounding males to throw away their dignity and blindly agree to the female's point of view. Source: pops and mom.

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned right? From the icy chills, this must be the doorway to the ninth circle to hell right? Even worst was there was no portable heat source with a bun and energetic personality but I wouldn't want that source of warmth be collateral damage. Her partial absence due to prior-engagements, mainly saying goodbyes to her societal buddies.

The queen of this lair was waiting and I am to be its first victim. Sucking up my pride and kissing the dirt of my benefactors is a natural skill to have for a loner but still…

It pisses me off I have to do it for my competitor in our little challenge. With a final sigh that seemed to echo throughout the hall, I slide open the door and unsurely walk into the room to meet the sight of the ever so still Yukino Yukinoshita who upon closing her book, gave an expectant stare.

I guess this is the part where I'm judged for my sins? Well just remember I won you a Pan-san right?
On top of loads of other stuff too and well, don't you think we should put aside our differences? I mean use LOGIC to think LOGICALLY now!

However, she wasn't Matilda so that idea didn't pan out as I hoped. She clenched her eyes instead only increasing the intensity of our wordless conversation. Becoming SYNERGISTIC with the atmosphere, I bow my head utilizing my ability to throw away my pride to maximum effect!

"I apologize."

Then silence…

You could say silence in itself was a sort of sound. After all, the times you are not hearing anything, you could argue that you were listening to the lack of sound waves right? Or was this all pointless psychological recovery going nowhere!?

"What do you apologize for, Hikigaya-kun?"

Her light airy voice teased my ears in a mocking tone surrounded by icicles. My name uttered in a sing-song manner reminiscent of bad old elementary years. Despite showing my humility, she still rubbed it in.

"I apologize for maybe overreacting just a little."

"Maybe?"

"Y-yeah. As the instigator, you had a part in-"

"Now that's not what I wish to hear. Be more mature and act like an adult Hi-ki-gaya-kun."

"No trial? It's a human right!"

"You qualify as someone capable of having these rights?"

"A human being is a human being. Despite my isolation from the rest of the social hierarchy, I can-"

"I believe you're abusing your freedom of speech to avoid responsibility. Hikigaya-kun. Be a man."

But… Well… You…

With nothing further to add, I swallow the bitter taste of defeat. It was easier to just give in.

"Fine, I'm sorry for being an ass. Sheesh, can I rest my case now?"

"You may."

My usual seat looked too inviting for words so I naturally walked lazily to my sacred resting place. A tinge of a smile and a fist pump to taunt me in the corner of my eye. It seemed even with the events of yesterday, we've gone full circle. Back to emulating what we believed was normal.

But that was an impossibility now. I had to start thinking of me and Yui, abandoning some of my loner ways. Needing to take someone else's feelings in correlation with mine as a starting point in going about this the right way. What I also want is absolute truth, the face behind the mask no matter how disfigured it is. That was why it was best to make it clear as to what the changes are and will be starting from now.

"Hey Yukinoshita. I need to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

Tilting her head my direction, she gives me her full attention at my serious tone of voice. Something I would've appreciated a bit earlier ya knowww?

Jest aside, the words in my chest felt like anvils. Heavy enough for me to struggle and force it out of my chest.

"You see…
Me and Yui, we…"

Throat dry, I left it there as I tried desperately to find the words that best suits our new 'accommodations' but to no avail.

"You…?"

"How to put this? What I mean-"
"Yahallo!"

The mother of all interruptions, Yui Yuigahama found the worst possible timing to obnoxiously crash the tense atmosphere. Seriously, can't you like, read the mood?

When our gazes met, the room's heater must've been turned on at just that moment! Yeah, that would explain the sudden temperature rise! As per usual, it was ineffective against the ice queen who just looked confused between the two of us.

"H-hey Hikki! Yukinon! I'm so sorry for leaving so suddenly! I was being an idiot! I know!"

Taking her place right next to the club prez, I couldn't help but feel tossed aside. Tch, fine. I'm fine by myself anyway, maybe you should consider choosing her as your partner hm?
Wait, possessive already? Waah, not good. Turns out my stalke-eavesdropping tendency is still maxed out!

"Yuigahama-san, close…"

"Sorry Yukinon!"

And upon turning her gaze, she studied my slumped lonely form and then turned to Yukino for some sort of approval. With a nod, she grabbed her chair and moved closer to me at a speed too fast for me to comprehend. What's with that speed?! All aircrafts should now run on Yui energy!

With her close contact, I follow my naturally honed instincts and lean back. A technique honed to perfection to avoid the disgusted reactions of girls that realize their mistake too late!

"Hikki, sorry about that ehehe!"

Yukinoshita looked awfully lonely at the end of this table. Shooting a questionable look of jealousy my way. To be fair, you did refuse her…Closeness…

But more importantly was the implications of this newfound closeness to me. I still favoured this club but we formed an odd number. That is, the third wheel will be created. By all means, that is something I want to avoid completely.

"Yuigahama-san? Hikigaya-kun?"

That was why it is best to lay it all out in the open. I freely resolve to lay this mine down and should it hurt someone? Then so be it, all I can do is prepare the bandages and try my best to lessen the pain.

"Ahh, Yukinon. I. We. Need to tell you something important. Me and Hikki."

I'm ready to play my part and be selfish just this once.

"Yes?"

"I…"

And I'm sure Yuigahama wanted the same to some extent.

"We…"

Reading the social mood was where she excelled. On the battlefield, she knew much more than I but ever since she joined the club. She now excelled at knowing the individual's instead of the collective consciousness that is decided upon.

"Me and Hikki…"

I'm proud of her for sharing this crushing weight but this is something I have to do myself.

"Yui and I, we're together now."

Clenching my eyes shut, I force out words that should've been pleasing. Calming. Lovely.
But the fragility of it all was being put to the test, incorrigibly troubling.

Meeting her blue glassy stare, I witness a world disappear. A world comprised of what-ifs and what-could've-been. Hopes comprised of different circumstances and choices.

"Yukinon?"

Breathlessly, the girl replied.

"Oh, right. Of course. Excuse me for a moment, I need to let it sink in."

"Take your time. Believe me, it was quite a shock for us when it happened."

"R-right. Naturally…"

At that moment, Yukinoshita lost something and I may never be able to pinpoint exactly what. We looked to each other in the silence hoping for everything to be ok in the end.

"Yukinon?"

"Yuigahama-san…"

Slowly raising her head to look her in the eye, I brace myself for whatever that look entailed. Retaliation, cooperation or anything else.

"Yes Yukinon?"

"You have bad taste in men."

"Geh?!"

…What?... What's with this critical hit?

With a wry smile, she gradually lightened up from the news. I think…
Hopefully.

"What's with this payback?"

"I fear for Yuigahama's safety going out with such an untrustworthy person such as you. A healthy minded person would mistake you for a kidnapper or worse."

"Gah?!"

"Ouch. Shouldn't this be classified as abuse?"

And Yuigahama. Aren't you meant to be taking my side? I am your…
Partner, you know?

"That's up to Yuigahama-san to decide."

The pressure was on but this pervasive atmosphere remained. Yui darted her eyes between us then finally made her own conclusion.

"I…
I think we're probably being too harsh on Hikki…"

Oh Yui! You really are one of the good ones!
Even so, Yui talked in that manner. That serious quiet manner where she made her concerns and views known for the good of everyone else. The more that train of thought stays, the more I fall in the trap of my own wish-fulfilment. She moved her seat closer to the other side of the table yet again, this time for herself only.

"Yukinon, if you're really not alright then you don't have to pretend."

Yui still reached out for those that couldn't move themselves, a tactic that so far has only worked time and time again. Cupping her hand within her palms, Yukino gritted her teeth wiping the sleeve from her free hand across her tear-struck eyes.

"Sorry Yui-san."

And I sat silently observing this soap opera I turned everything into. How embarrassing. But despite how tearful we could get, I could take solace in the fact that I'm perhaps stumbling in the right direction. The guilt might be lessened in time but it's something I'm prepared to live with either way.

"Thank you Yuigahama-san."

"D-Don't mention it Yukinon. Really."

The clattering of teacups served to break the mopey mood we had gotten ourselves stuck into. Once again, we entered the entry stage to our static cycle until something would push us forward again.

"As per usual, I'll pour the tea."

And the smell and clattering of the tea and its holders filled the room once again.

"For the last time, Me and Tobe hanging out is never gonna happen."

"But he finds you to be sorta cool! Like Ebina said-"

"You're trusting what Ebina says? Sorry, your opinion is invalid."

"Gah?! You didn't even hear me!"

"I hate to admit this Yuigahama-san but Hikigaya-kun is half-right. Ebina's point of view can't be trusted completely."

"What do you mean half-right? You just don't want to admit it?"

"No. As a male, you'll find yourself completely biased against Ebina's opinions on…Well anything considering her temperament."

"Spare me the pseudo-intellectual crap."

"Psuedo? Intellectual…"

"If it was Totsuka, I would totally be unbiased!"

"How unfaithful."

"Oh no. It doesn't matter Hikki! It's just a phase you're going through! I'm sure of it! No! Positive!"

Disregarding her advice, we stop just shy of Yukinoshita's residence.

"This is my stop."

Walking on ahead, she stopped suddenly and twirled around offering a much more natural wave. A far cry from the stiff robotic movement back during the school culture festival.

"I'll see you two tomorrow."

"See ya Yukinon!"

"See ya."

With the lack of words, I began to feel anxious again at being alone with my partner. Still new to this business, I've had nothing to base our relationship off but hopefully, we wouldn't need it.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Yuigahama?"

"Say wha-? You're supposed to walk me home you know!"

What's with this? These must be the unspoken rules that men have to follow. The problem was the rules are never stated so how the hell does one follow them to the letter?

"But you can walk back just fine?"

"No, this is boyfriend duty! Stupid."

My loner senses told me there was no such thing as "boyfriend duty". Just a societal construct to have the men put more work for the women to be more privileged.

"In that case, I guess it can't be helped."

Whatever the case, I still went along with it. Closing our distance, I felt a rhythmic tugging of my sleeve only for her warm skin to interconnect with my fingers once again. The sheer heat of her slender, shapely hand caressing my own palm was almost enough to make me sweat.

Oh no, it's really hot here! My palms are getting sweaty… Ewww…

Walking onward, I inwardly panic over the smallest details. Like what If Yui gets disgusted and flees? Or what if she dumps me on the spot? Oh man, it's getting worse…

"Hikki, are you nervous?"

Are you psychic? Those sort of things never go well. Just ask Alessa Gillespie or Carrie!

"What makes you think that?"

"Your hand is really…"

"Ahh sorry. If it's a bother-"

Tugging my hand away, her grip sustained holding it even tighter. At the same time, my heart was squeezed tighter.

"No, I like it like this. This is fine. To be honest, I'm nervous too Hikki."

"R-right."

Walking alongside each other, I take my time to truly take in Yuigahama's face. Every curvy, luscious detail. The lack of make-up accentuated her natural looks making her much more raw, the ear-rings a glittering allure easily ignored compared to her pink-orange hair fluttering ever so softly in the summer breeze.

"H-hikki, you're staring."

My creep tendencies were still too strong. Quickly reverting my gaze, I make do with cancelling out all scouting operations all together.

"Sorry Yuigahama."

Our footsteps through the streets a sort of ongoing track between us, Yui suddenly squeezed my hand harder. Our sweat intermingling with one another's as our palms only fit more perfectly together.

"Yui."

"Huh?"

"Just Yui, please."

Calling her by first name? Not right. Too short, too disrespectful and too forward. Anyway, Gahama sounds better right? It's more prestigious a name and stuff, yeah…

"Well, ya know…That's…"

"Please Hikki. I've waited a full year for this…"

And with that plea, she snatched both my hands and squeezed them both. The quickest, cleanest solution was to give in so I could get away and catch my breath and if I'm lucky, stop a heart attack.

"It's either that or a kiss Hikki."

How forward are you exactly?! Now I'm feeling all self-conscious…
Congratulations Yui Yuigahama, you've left me speechless.

"I guess the former will do."

Looking up expectantly, she pouts impatiently.

"Well…"

"Just give me a minute."

Saying Yui should by all means feel right. It's the first natural step forward for affirming the position of the person and their partner. With a large inhale, I mutter.

"Yui."

"S-say it again please."

"Yui."

"Just…One more time, please?"

Umm, do I get a prize?

"Yui, this is enough right?"

With a pleased grin, she nods erratically in such a un-girl like fashion like an overexcited child.

"I think Hikki deserves a reward."

She leaned in and…

A pleasant wilderness planted themselves on my lips spreading a sort of strawberry aroma to my senses completely leaving me dazed and confused. As quickly as it came, the feeling was gone as it was naught but a little peck. Hands hidden behind her back, she shyly prodded me with a flustered posture.

"Was that a-any g-good Hikki?"

"…
Yeah. You should warn me next time though, that was my first."

"Well, this is where I get off."

Our hands disconnected though I held out a foolish naïve hope that it won't be that way for too long.

"Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Right. You know, I.
I'm glad things turned out this way, Hikki."

And as we waved each other goodbye, I thought the same. How many new experiences and adventures as Yuigahama dragged me through kicking and screaming. How much stuff have I done that everybody else would've done in their youth?

Back in middle school, I had an idea of that ideal life. By 25, I'd be married, have a job and eventually have a kid. Such a childish fairy-tale of a life but somewhere deep within me, I wished I could believe in something so beautiful in its simplicity. A road I've given up on believing in but I'd be an outright liar to believe Yui doesn't bring back that sickly sweet sense of crushed nostalgia.

Inwardly responding, I reply for it to never be heard by anyone else.

"Same here."

Sorry for the long wait once again. I have no excuses this time other then a mix of assignments and pure laziness. As always though, thanks for reading.