"Roger, you have to get out of the house sooner or later." Mark said standing in Roger's bedroom doorway.
"I was out of the house." he told him plucking at his guitar.
"Benny and Allison's wedding was 2 months ago." Mark laughed as he entered the bedroom to sit on the bed.
"Well, I left the house. Are you going out to film?" he replied as he laughed back.
"Yeah, wanna come with?" he asked smiling at him.
"I don't think so. I wanna try to get another band together and I need to write some songs." he said turning to him.
"Good for you Roger. I'm glad." he told him getting up. "Well I should go, I won't be gone long. Take your AZT." he said before leaving the room.
"OK." Roger said staring down at his guitar. He had written countless songs for Amanda on it, but now that he wanted to do it to start another band he couldn't. "OK Mandy, gimme something Baby. I need a song. Any song. Just not one of those lame songs you loved." he said looking at the picture of her that was on his bed side table. Mark had adorned his room with pictures of Amanda when he was going through withdrawal because it helped him, but now that he was through it, he kept them there for inspiration.
"Hey Rog, can we talk?" Collins said knocking on the bedroom door.
"Yeah, come on in." he said looking up.
"Hey." he said quietly sitting on the bed.
"What's the matter?" Roger asked putting his guitar on the bed.
"I just got my test results back. I'm positive." he told him breaking down.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry, Collins." he said reaching out to hug him.
"I'm gay Rog, there was always a risk." he told him looking up at him.
"What about...?" he asked as Collins sat up.
"Julian, yeah right. He looks at it as a gay badge of honor." he answered wiping his eyes.
"Sorry Collins. You don't deserve this." Roger told him as tears came to his eyes.
"Neither one of us do." Collins told him picking up a picture of Amanda.
"You know, our kid would have been almost 4 now." he told him caressing the frame.
"I know. You would have had such a beautiful baby. I mean, look at her. That smile even slays me and I'm gay." Collins said smiling at him.
"Yeah, she had a way of lighting up any room she walked into. I wanted a girl. But Mandy insisted the baby was a boy." Roger told him smiling at the picture.
"A boy that looked just like you, huh?" Collins asked laughing.
"Yeah, but I wanted a girl that looked just like her. Those beautiful blue eyes, you know?" he smiled looking up at him.
"You would have been toast. Those two beautiful ladies flashing their baby blues at you." Collins told him laughing.
"Yeah, I would have loved every second of it too." Roger said laughing as he put the picture down. "Did they give you meds?" he asked looking up at him.
"Yeah, good old AZT. Miracle drug or sham, you be the judge." he told him laughing.
"You're gonna be OK, you know. We both are." Roger told him putting his arm around Collins shoulder.
"I was thinking of getting out of here for a while." Collins told him smiling at him.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. You wanna go out and get drunk?" Roger asked getting up.
"No, I… I was talking about getting out of New York. You know, take that job offer at MIT I've been avoiding." he told him smiling up a him.
"What do you mean leave New York? What are we gonna do without you?" he asked sitting down again.
"You, Mark and Maureen'll be fine. You're writing music again and Mark and Maureen have each other. You guys are gonna be OK." Collins told him putting his arm around him.
"That's the thing. I'm not writing. I haven't written a word. I don't know what it is. I look at Mandy and I can't do it. She's supposed to inspire me. She used to inspire me all the time. But all I think about is what my life would have been like if I came here with her rather than to get away from everything that reminded me of her." he told him looking down at the picture again.
"Than maybe you need to move on once and for all. No alcohol, no drugs, no Mandy. Just be Roger Davis." he told him smiling over at him.
"I have no idea who I am without Mandy. I wasn't anything before her. She made me who I was. She's been my life since I was 16 and I've been dreaming about her since I was 12. Look what a bang up job I've done with my life so far. I was a drunk, a junkie and now I got HIV. At least when I had her I had a future. What do I have now?" he asked picking up the picture again.
"Roger, you've made it through a lot of shit. And Mandy helped you through it. But so did Mark. That boy has been so hell bent on keeping a 16 year old's promise to his dead sister, that he doesn't know how to do anything else. I think it's about time you both let go of her. I mean, I know you two will always love her and miss her, but now it's time to move on. Maybe you'll be able to write again and he'll stop filming the foliage in the park." Collins told him patting him on the back.
"I don't know if I want to let go of her." he said looking up.
"You need to try. You owe it to yourself to stop being her boyfriend and to Mark to stop letting him settle for being her little brother. You two have a lot more in common than her. Without me here, you're gonna have to explore that. I'm gonna go start packing my stuff. I'll check in on you before I go." Collins said getting up to leave the room.
"Mandy Baby, I miss you so much, but I'm so glad you're not here to see all this crap." he said kissing his finger before pressing it to the picture and laying back on the bed. He couldn't believe Collins was positive. No one else deserved to suffer the same fate he had to.
"Rog, are you here?" Mark called out coming into the loft.
"Yeah Mark, where else would I be." he asked sitting up as Mark entered the bedroom.
"I filmed the cops hassling a homeless guy in the park." he raved smiling at him.
"Oh yeah?" he asked putting Amanda's picture back on the table.
"Yeah, I mean isn't that exciting?" he said sitting on the bed.
"What's so exciting about that?" Roger asked looking up at him.
"Maureen said it's not right and we should do something to help them. I'm meeting her at the Life Cafe tonight." he told him excitedly.
"That's really cool, Mark. I'm glad you found something you're excited about." Roger said smiling at him.
"Do you wanna come?" he asked smiling back.
"No thanks. I don't wanna be a third wheel, but have fun." he told him sitting back against the wall.
"Like I wasn't a third wheel all the time with you and Mandy all the time." he said laughing.
"Yeah, well that was different." Roger said laughing with him.
"Why because it was you and Mandy?" he asked laughing.
"Yep. Go, have fun with your girlfriend, really. But you might want to go in and talk to Collins first. He's taking the job at MIT." Roger told him looking down.
"What changed his mind?" he asked seeing Roger get serious.
"He's positive. Looks like you're the one to survive." Roger told him with tears in his eyes.
"Oh man. How's he taking it?" he asked looking over at Roger.
"Surprisingly well. You should go talk to him though." he told him wiping his eyes.
"Are you gonna be OK?" he asked seeing how upset Roger was.
"Yeah, I'm gonna be fine. Go. I think you should talk to him before he goes." Roger said as Mark got up off of the bed.
"OK. I'll be right back." Mark told him leaving the room to go to Collins.
"Collins is dying and Marky got a girl. See what you're missing Baby." Roger said looking over at the picture again before laying back down.