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Chapter 10: Truths
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Severus was sitting on his sofa in a state of nerves. He didn't want to go to Madam Pomfrey because he was afraid of what he would find out. What if it was serious? But he knew he had to. Matthew wandered in and plonked himself down next to him with a big huff. Severus laughed.
"Matthew, are you tired?" Severus asked
"Bit."
"Do you want me to put you to bed for a bit?"
"Yeah."
Severus stood up and gathered Matthew in his arms.
"You're getting heavy aren't you?" Severus teased as he walked to Matthew's room. Matthew giggled.
Severus laid Matthew into his bed and put the covers over him. He then sat on the bed and placed a kiss on his head.
"Sevus?"
"Yes?"
"What's nagging?"
"It's just something grown ups do" Severus replied laughing. "You don't need to worry about it. I'll come and wake you up in a bit ok?"
"Kay."
Severus exited Matthew's room, closing the door a little. He turned and saw Harry walking towards him, carrying Joseph. Harry smiled at him.
"He's finally gone to sleep. I swear, he gets all this crying from your side."
"Cheeky" Severus retorted, kissing Harry on the cheek.
"Well Matthew was good as gold when he was born. I'm going to put him to bed; Remus should be here soon so we can go to Madam Pomfrey."
Harry went into their bedroom and Severus returned to the living room. Sure enough two minutes later there was a knock on the door and Severus opened it to find Remus waiting outside.
"Remus, come in. Harry's putting Joseph to bed."
"Thank you." Remus replied smiling and then went to find Harry.
"Hi Remus" Harry said as he came into his bedroom. "Are you sure you're ok to look after the kids?" he asked.
"Of course I am. It's a pleasure. Anyway, you're only going to see Poppy."
"You're the best Remus" Harry told him, giving him a hug.
"What was that for?" Remus asked laughing.
"Nothing, it's just… I'm so glad you're in my life. After Sirius…"
"I know" Remus said in understanding. "I miss him too. Everything that's happen, and when you found out you were having Matthew, I know you pined for-"
"Stop, you're making me cry" Harry interrupted, sniffing and laughing at the same time.
"Sirius would be proud of you Harry… anyway, I hope it's nothing serious with Severus."
"Me too. I think its stress. He pretends he's ok, but I know he's not."
"Well take as long as like, we'll be ok."
"Thanks Remus… Severus?" Harry shouted out. "Are you ready?"
"Maybe he's going deaf in his old age" Remus laughed and Harry hit him but couldn't help smirking.
Harry sighed and made his way out of the bedroom and into the living room but nobody was there. Harry proceeded to check everywhere before going back to Remus.
"He's gone, he's not here" Harry said, his voice cracking slightly.
"Oh… well he probably hasn't gone far."
"Remus, what if… what if Malfoy's got him?"
"With all the extra security Dumbledore has put up?"
"He said he'd get in… that he'd get us."
"Harry, nothing will have happened. He's probably… gone for a walk or…"
"I'm gonna go find him."
Harry rushed out into the dungeon corridor and headed up to the entrance hall. As he started running up the stairs he saw Professor McGonagall coming down.
"Professor…" Harry said panting and holding a stitch in his side.
"Harry, you can call me Minerva."
"Thanks… have you seen Severus?"
"Yes, he went into the headmaster's office. Are you ok?"
"I'm fine, just ran too fast."
"You should take care of yourself Harry; you've just had a baby."
"I will, I promise."
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"How are you?" Dumbledore asked Severus as he sat down in the chair opposite him.
"I'm fine Albus" Severus replied unconvincingly.
"And Harry?"
"He's… he's ok. Tired obviously, but I think he's happy."
"You think he's happy?"
"Well, I've put him and our children in danger haven't I?"
"Severus, you weren't to know Malfoy was still alive, none of this is your fault" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.
"I know, but, if Harry and I hadn't got together… well-"
"You wouldn't have little Joseph for a start. Surely you wouldn't wish that?"
"No" Severus replied, smiling at the thought of his newborn son. He'd not spent much time with him since he was born due to feeling so ill. Harry must think he is a terrible father. "Albus, how… how do you know if you're a good parent?"
"There are no rules to parenting Severus. If you love your child and they are happy and healthy, then that's the basis of being a good parent. Young Matthew dotes on you doe she not?"
"He does" Severus replied smiling. "Harry thinks he likes me more than him." Albus chuckled.
"I'm going to ask again Severus. How are you?"
"I'm fine really" Severus said defensively.
"Severus, you really don't have to put up a front for me you know" Dumbledore said smiling. "I know you're trying to protect Harry by appearing strong, but don't feel as though you have to guard yourself in my presence. You have nothing to feel ashamed about"
Severus looked down into his lap, fearing he was about to cry and trying to keep himself together.
"It's just… I thought that part of my life was over, that I was free. It's like he's controlling my life all over again."
"Have you discussed these feelings with Harry?"
"I can't, I don't want him to worry about me. I'm supposed to be the strong mature one that makes everything better."
"Severus, it's ok to be vulnerable and scared. Anyone who knows your story wouldn't blame you for the way you're feeling. I don't know anyone who deserves to be happier than you. You spent twenty years living in fear and risking your life to help others. We will find him Severus; you have my word on that."
"Thank you Albus. I just don't know what I'd do if anything happened to Harry or the kids."
"I will make sure no harm comes to them or you."
"Albus, could you… promise me something?"
"Of course."
"If anything happens to me, will you take care of them for me?"
"I will Severus, although I have no reason to fear that will happen. Now… is there something else Severus?" Dumbledore asked, spying him sceptically.
"No… I mean… yes. I've been feeling ill the past few days."
"I see. Why do you think that is?"
"Well it hit me this morning that I might be being… poisoned?"
"I will check with the house elves, but I'm confident it is not the case. Maybe recent events are affecting you and what you need is relaxation. I'm sure Poppy will be able to give you something."
"That's what Harry keeps saying."
"I think you should take his advice."
"Thanks Albus… for everything."
"It's my pleasure Severus. I'm here whenever you need me."
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Severus stepped into the corridor and started upon coming face to face with a worried Harry.
"Harry!"
"Why did you run off like that?" Harry demanded.
"I'm sorry. I know I should have said where I was going, but… I jut really needed to talk to Albus."
"Oh. What about?"
"About what's been happening lately."
"Why can't you talk to me?" Harry asked, tears filling his eyes. "Why do you never talk to me? I'm supposed to be your partner. I gave birth to our son a few days ago."
Severus walked forward and enveloped Harry into a hug and rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry Harry. I want to protect you and keep you safe. I didn't want to add my problems on top of everything else that is going on."
"But I want to know" Harry said, pulling away. "Being kept in the dark and not knowing what's going on is worse."
"I know. Let's sit down and talk tonight… properly."
"Ok" Harry replied.
Severus leaned down and captured Harry's lips in a kiss. Harry's arms found their way to Severus's neck as their kiss deepened. Severus lifted him up and Harry wrapped his legs around his waist. Severus walked to the window ledge and sat Harry down on it, continuing their kiss. A couple of minutes later Severus pulled back and ran a hand through Harry's hair.
"Mmm that was nice" Harry murmured, his cheeks flushed. He smiled up at Severus.
"Harry?" Severus whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I love you so much; I don't want you to ever forget."
"I love you too Severus."
"And… I know I haven't been as helpful with Joseph as I should be, but I promise things will change."
"You've been ill Severus, you don't have to try and make excuses. "Shall we go and see Poppy now?"
"Lead the way" Severus said gloomily.
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"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Madam Pomfrey asked as Severus and Harry walked into the hospital wing.
"Severus isn't feeling too good" Harry said, when Severus stood in silence, arms folded, with a grumpy annoyed look on his face.
"Oh right. What appears to be the matter?"
Again, Severus seemed reluctant to open his mouth.
"He's been throwing up a lot. We think he's suffering from stress" Harry said.
"You have been looking quite agitated lately Severus. Well then, up you pop and we'll have a look at you" Madam Pomfrey said to Severus, patting the nearest bed.
Severus slowly sat himself onto the bed and sighed.
"Harry dear, if you could just wait outside for a moment. I don't want you to be affected by any of the spells I'm going to perform, not after just giving birth.
"Ok."
Harry gripped Severus's hand for a moment and went to wait outside. He paced up and down outside the hospital wing for a full five minutes until Madam Pomfrey poked her head out and said he could return.
"Severus wanted to wait for you to come back before saying what I'd found."
"So what is it?" Harry asked, standing beside Severus on the bed and holding his hand.
"Well Severus… you're pregnant."
Instantly, Severus jumped off the bed, ran into the toilet and was heard being violently sick over and over again. Madam Pomfrey turned to a shocked looking Harry and gave him a sympathetic gaze.
"Oh dear, I think you're in for a long seven months Mr Potter."
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Coming up in the next chapter: Severus has a hard time dealing with being pregnant. Will he do something stupid?
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(This chapter was posted on February 25th)
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