Chapter 10: Grow Free or Die by a Plant
Meg is with Matt, in the park, sat on a bench, while their little siblings are playing with each other.
"And it's at last finished!" shouted Stewie triumphal.
Stewie has just built a huge sand castle.
"It seems pretty cool" said Sophie in admiration.
"Indeed, it is" said Stewie.
"When can we play on it?" asked the girl.
"Play? This is not for playing!" said Stewie in reproach "With this fortress, I shall take over the park! and then the nation! and then the WORLD!" shouted as he laughed maniacally.
Sophie stared at him.
"Can I use the castle to play with my dolls?" asked Sophie.
"Oh, of course you can".
Meanwhile, Meg is talking with her boyfriend.
"So, did your mother give you the money for that car?" asked Matt.
"Not exactly" said Meg.
"Huh?"
"She gave me half of the money. I must earn the other half by myself" said Meg "That's why I was looking for a job"
"Did you have any luck?" asked again Matt.
"Nope. First I tried working in a fast food"
Flashback
"So, the job's yours, Megan" said the manager.
"Perfect! What will my task be?" asked Meg.
"You must keep an eye on our raw matter" said the manager as he led Meg to the backside of the restaurant. There were a bunch of hobos wolfing down ice creams. "Haha, there're soooo oblivious…well, you can start now. Meg…?"
End Flashback
"Then I tried on the zoo"
Flashback
"Ok Meg, you're in" said the zoo director.
"What must I do?" said Meg.
"You'll feed our most popular attraction" said the director.
"It's a lion? A shark? An orca?" said Meg a bit annoyed. "Because I won't risk my life with a dangerous animal" stated Meg.
"Oh, don't worry. It's only a lizard." Said the director.
Meg then sighed relieved. She was then led to the animal's cage, and to Meg's horror, there were an angry T-Rex.
"What the hell?" asked Meg in fear.
"Don't worry" said Alan Grant, who was there for no apparent reason "If you don't move, the T-Rex won't see you" said Grant. "Keep still, like me, and…" said Alan before being ate by the dinosaur.
"I'm growing tired of that f(beep!)cking cliché!" shouted the T-rex
End Flashback
"And then I tried as Death's assistant"
Flashback
Meg and Death was inside a house. There is some random guy reading the newspaper. It seemed that the guy couldn't see Death and Meg. Meg's also dressed as Death.
"Well, this is your first day, so watch carefully" said Death.
Suddenly, a T-Rex (yes, the same of the zoo) breaks through the house, and rips off his head with a bite. The he grabs the corpse with his mouth and begins to munch it.
"That's for telling Spielberg that Spinosaurus is stronger than me, you sucker!!" shouted the T-Rex angrily.
Meg then throws up at the sight of the slaughter.
"Don't worry, when you see this a couple of times per day, you won't mind it". Said Death nonchalantly.
End Flashback
"I guess I won't have that car" said Meg a bit sadly.
"Don't be so pessimistic" said Matt "I'm sure there's a lot of people in Quahog who needs help with something. Come on, let's go"
"I guess you're right…" said Meg, more upbeat. "I better get going to find some job" said Meg as she and Matt left.
"I think we're forgetting about something…" said Matt.
Meanwhile, back at the park…
"Matt? Meg?" said Sophie a bit scared "We're you? Stewie!"
"What?"
"I think our siblings ditched us here!"
"Who cares about that? Remember that we have the Sand Fortress and…" said Stewie before a football landed on his sandcastle, taking it apart. "Oh, crap, we're screwed…"
"Hey little kids, do you want candies?" said a man hidden in the bushes.
"Of course!" said Stewie and Sophie in unison.
Hours later, after searching for many jobs, without result, Meg sits tired in the edge of the sidewalk.
"This is futile" said Meg, downed "I'll never found a job…"
"Excuse me, young girl, are you saying you're looking for work?" said a soft voice from backwards.
Meg stood up and turned back to see the person who spoke her. It was an old lady, probably in her sixties. She had grey hair styled in a bun, and wore an apron and leather boots, both were stained.
"Yes, I'm looking for a job, but nobody wants to hire me" said Meg "Why do you ask, are you going to give me a job?"
"Maybe…" said the lady.
"Really?" said Meg, very excited.
"Yes, come into my store and let's talk" said the lady. "Oh, and my name is Helen, Helen Wayne".
"Meg Griffin" said Meg.
Meg saw her entering in a building. Meg read the sign above the entrance. It said 'Green Paradise: Gardening Store'
"Maybe this is the job I've been looking for" Though Meg.
Meg walked into the store. As the title suggested, it was full of plants, flowers, gardening supplies and tools, and sacks of seeds and fertilizers. The air was filled with a strong grass smell.
"I've ran this store for 30 years with no help, and I've always succeed." explained Mrs. Wayne "However, now I'm old and weak, and I cannot run this place alone anymore. I was going to place a sign in the door wanting help, and then I heard you complaining about not having a job."
"What will be my task?" asked Meg.
"You won' have a concrete task" said the old lady "You will help me to do various tasks, like put in order the tools and sacks, watering the plants, attending the customers…" said Helen.
"Okay, and how about money? How much you will pay me?" asked Meg. This was a very important question.
"It will depend on how will be your work here. But let's say I'll pay you 100 per week the first month. It's okay for you?"
"Deal!" said Meg very enthusiastic. "When can I start?"
"Tomorrow" said Helen.
"OK. I'll be here tomorrow in the afternoon" said happily as she left the store.
Hours later, Meg was in her house with the rest of the family, talking about her new job.
"…and I'm going to start tomorrow" said Meg "And she's going to pay me 100 bucks per week!"
"If you wanted, I could get you re-hired to Carl's store again" said Chris.
"Thank you Chris, but I don't want do work with that jerk again" stated Meg "Besides, Mrs. Wayne seems to be a very nice lady"
"Well, you shouldn't trust in old ladies so easy" said Peter "Remember what happened to Snow White"
Flashback
Snow White is in the dwarves' house doing chores while the dwarves are working on the mine. Suddenly, somebody knocks the door. Snow White opens it, and there stands her stepmother disguised as an old woman.
"May I help you?" asked Snow White.
"I'm a Fruit Vendor. Would you mind to buy me some apples?"
"No sorry"
"Oh, come on. I'll give you an apple for free" said her stepmother as she handed her an apple.
"Okay…"
Snow White it's about to bite the apple, when it begins to grow a pair of arms and legs, increasing in size becoming…the Mutant Apple Warrior! (again) who beats up Snow White.
Later, the dwarves come form the mine and saw Snow White beaten.
"Oh, look at Snow White! I think it is dead!" said a dwarf.
"Oh no!" said another.
"Oh no!" said another.
"Oh no!" said another.
"Oh Yeah!" shouted Kool Aid man, after breaking into the house through the walls.
End Flashback
"Peter, did somebody tell you that you suck at telling stories?" said Brian dryly.
The next day, in the afternoon, Meg comes to home all beaten up, with her clothes tattered, snorting.
"Meg, what the hell happened to you?" asked Lois. "Did you fight with Connie again?"
"Yes…however this time was a little different"
Flashback
In the school's hall, Meg is being teased and attacked by Connie's friends, when Matt arrives.
"What the hell is happening here?" said Matt in an angry tone.
"Oh, look who's here, the loser's loser boyfriend" said Connie.
"That what supposed to be a pun?" asked Matt. "Well you better leave my girlfriend before-"
"Before what?" teased one of Connie's male friends, approaching him.
"Before THIS!" shouted Matt as he punched the guy.
The other boy tried to hit him, but Matt blocked the hit with his arms, and kicked him in the guts. However, it was 2 vs 1, and Matt was overwhelmed. Meg tried to help him but she was stopped by Connie and Lisa, beginning their own fight.
"Oh crap, is 4 vs 2!" complained Meg.
"I know, but I also know how to balance this" said Matt as he ran from his attackers, and tagged in Batista, who was there for some unknown reason.
"COME ON!" said Batista as he began to attack Connie and her friends viciously, delivering various devastating moves such as spears, spinebusters and powerslams. Finally, he grabbed Connie, and delivered a powerful Batista Bomb to her. The entire school shook as her body hit the ground. Then Batista pinned Connie, and a referee appeared from nowhere, and slapped three times the floor. The bell ringed and Batista music theme, 'I walk Alone' was played through the school's megaphone, announcing their victory. Also, the boys and girls who were over there started to cheer and show various banners: I Love Batista, DX, John Cena's #1 fan, 619, King of Kings, Edge Sucks…
"Winners, Meg Griffin, Matt Kennedy and Batista!" shouted Lilian Garcia, who was also there.
"It was a luck that Batista was here, and was actually in our team" said Meg.
"Yeah. Let's go home" said Matt as he and Meg left.
"Hey, why the camera is still focusing on me?" asked Connie as she barely tried to stand up. Then the lights went off, surrounding the hall in darkness. Then the lights came again, and in front of Connie was…The Undertaker! Taker then grabbed Connie by the neck and chokeslammed her very hard. Undertaker's music theme 'Graveyard Symphony' was played, as he clenched his teeth and white out his pupils.
End Flashback
"Anyway, I'm tired of this" said Meg, sadly "I'm tired of being ugly, of being unpopular and of being everybody's target!" cried.
"Oh, Meg, you must not let that bitch depress you" said Lois, trying to cheer her. "You have your friends, your boyfriend and your family.There always will be somebody who will help you when you need."
"Thanks, mom" said Meg as she cleansed her tears.
Peter then walked in the house.
"Hello honey" said Lois as she kissed him in the cheeks "How was your day?"
"After a long day at work, I arrived at my house with my family. Lois, my formerly hot but now slightly deteriorated wife greeted me with a kiss and sweet words, in a futile attempt to ignore the fact that she was each day a little more old and rusty".
"Oh, Peter, are you again in that narrative phase again?" asked Brian pissed.
"Brian seemed pissed with something I didn't understand" continued "Also Lois wasn't very excited with me expressing my feelings. I sat on the couch and watched TV. I noticed that my daughter, Meg was very sad, as always" said as Meg looked at her. "As her father, I should try to comfort her, however, I didn't. Probably the cause of her misfortunes was her ugliness. Her small stature, fatness, short and boyish haircut and lack of curves made every guy in the world to threw up except few exceptions…"
Meg then cried louder, and ran away to her room.
"Peter, look what you've done!" said Lois angrily.
"Lois shouted angry at me, despite only said the truth. However, I didn't pay her any attention, just as…" said Peter before being punched by Lois.
"Thank you" said Brian.
Meg was in her room, lying on her bed, crying when Lois walked to her.
"Meg, are you okay+" asked Lois.
"Dad's right" sobbed Meg "If I were taller, with a longer hair and bigger breasts, I bet that nobody will mess up with me"
"No, you mustn't think that way" said Lois "Connie picks on you because she's a heartless bitch who's only way to feel better is making other's life miserable. She would pick on you despite having Jessica Alba's body. And you're not ugly, you're just…pretty in your own way" said Lois.
"Unfortunately, nobody thinks like that" said Meg, still depressed. "Mom, instead of a car, would you mind if I…?"
"NO" said Lois in a very emphatic way. "You're not going to have any plastic surgery. You know what I think about that".
"Okay…" said Meg.
Lois then left the room
Meg then thought about her parents said. She was determined to change her look. However, her mother wouldn't let her money for that. Then she looked at the spellbook. Maybe she won't need any money for her purpose.
"Be taller, grow my hair and grow my breasts .Only one thing: grow" Though Meg, as she opened the book.
Hours later, at night, Meg had just finished her growing potion. She must be very careful, if she exceeded the quantity of the potion, she would grow very large. After checking the right proportions of potion, she spread a little of it over her hair and breasts, and drink a little too for growing a bit taller. Then she went to sleep.
The next morning, Lois was making the breakfast for the family, as Peter, brian, Chris and Stewie are sat on around the table. Then Meg walks on the kitchen.
"Hello everybody!" said Meg very happy.
"Good morning sweetie, are you- WHAT THE HELL!?" asked Lois as he saw her daughter.
Meg was now as taller as her mother, have bigger breasts and have a very long hair styled in a long braid. She also wore her clothes, however Meg made them a few mends so they could fit in her new body. Her pink shirt was now a sleeveless halter top, and her blue pants now only went down to her knees.
"Whoa Meg, you look awesome!" said Peter in disbelief.
"Meg, I forbade you to have plastic surgery!" said Lois angrily.
"Oh, I didn't" said Meg" Who wants plastic surgery when you have magic? It's easier, faster and cheaper. Don't I look great?"
"Well, I still don't approve it" said Lois "And I don't mind it if she use magic or surgery" said Lois.
"Come on Lois, look at her, now she's hot, and before she was hideous! I've never understood why such a hot woman like you could gave birth such and ugly girl like her" said Peter. Meg glared at him pissed.
"Hey Meg, with that braid you look like Aeris" said Chris.
"Indeed" said Stewie "Do you want to end like Aeris too?" said Stewie. "Because you just only have to tell me".
"It's ironic how being that a trivial use of magic, it's also the most intelligent use somebody gave to that book since Peter bought it" said Brian dryly.
"Meg, do you think that changing your look won't make Connie and the popular kids to stop on picking on you?" Asked Lois.
Meg then nodded.
"Okay. But you'll see that I'm right" said Lois.
However, Lois was wrong. Meg's day at school was wonderful. Nobody teased her, nobody insulted her, the boys whistled at her and said her compliments (much to Matthew's dismay, who began to act towards Meg jealously). It was almost a perfect day. Surprisingly, nobody asked her how could change her body so fast. Meg also brought the growth potion with her, so nobody could cause a disaster.
After a perfect day on school, Meg went to the Gardening Store.
"Good afternoon, Mrs Wayne" said Meg.
"Hello Megan…hey, you look different" said the old lady.
"Yea, I…I though I could attract more customers if I improved a bit my image." Said Meg.
"Yes, you're right" said Helen "I like the way you think. Remind me to raise your pay".
Meg smiled at her comment.
"Well, I have to go out for some chores, you you'll get in charge" said Helen as she left.
"Don't worry Mrs Helen. It will be fine".
Meg then sat in the counter, waiting for some customers. Then she unzipped her backpack and began to pick her stuff. There was the growing potion. She took it and put it in the counter.
"Maybe I could sell this for grow plants" Though Meg, but she ditched the idea.
The door opened, and Meg saw her boyfriend, Matt, entering in the store.
"Matt!" said Meg as she jumped from the table.
"Hello, Meg. I came here for see how is the work going" said Matt.
"As you can see, I'd lie if I'd say that I'm busy" said Meg as she laughed at her remark.
"Meg, I wanted to talk with you" said Matt seriously.
"Talk? About what?" asked Meg.
"About you and your new…look" said Matt.
"What's wrong with it? You don't like it?"
"Oh, no, you're gorgeous. It's just…why? Do you think I may not consider you attractive anymore?"
"It's not about you" said Meg "I know you like me the way I am. I urged to improve a bit myself"
Matt then stared at her silently.
"Okay then" said Matt as he smiled. "It's just that it drives me mad the way other boys look at you"
"Oh, so it was that" said Meg. However, instead of getting angry, she smiled. "Oh, my poor jealous boyfriend" said Meg as she hugged him "Are you jealous?"
"Of course not!" replied.
"Because I find jealous people very sexy" said Meg in a seductive way.
"I shall kill every men that look at you" said Matt.
Then Matt and Meg began to kiss each other passionately. In their hug, Matt then pushed Meg against the counter.
"Ow!" shoued Meg.
"Sorry!" said Matt "I just went too wild. Did I hurt you?" asked.
"No, I'm just okay…OH NO!" shoued Meg as she looked the counter. To her dismay, the growing potion fell from the table and landed over a bunch of small sacks of seeds. Fearing that the seeds may grow to the size of mountains, Meg stared at them. However, nothing happened.
"What?" asked Matt.
"It's…nothing. This pesticide bottle just ruined this seeds" lied Meg to Matt. "I better get rid of them before Mrs Helen can see this."
"I'll help you" said Matt.
Meg and Matt took the seed sacks and threw them to a nearby container. After they left it, a bunch of green branches showed off the container.
Hours later, after her job was done, Meg went back to her home. There was her family, watching TV. She joined them.
"In our local news, a huge, non stop growing mutant plant is ravaging Quahog" said Tom.
"That's right Tom" said Diane "Our sources state that the origin of the plant was a container near the Quahog Gardening Store. " said Diane. "However, why is this big and why still keeps growing it's unknown."
"Oh, crap!" said Meg.
"Meg, is that gardening store when you work, isn't it?" asked Lois, a bit suspicious.
"And now we go to Ollie Williams, who's near the giant plant. What do you see, Ollie?"
"THE PLANT IS GROWING!" shouted Ollie quickly.
"We already know that Ollie. Anything else?" asked Tom again.
"AAAAAGHHHH!" shouted Ollie as the plant covered him with roots.
"Thank you Ollie" said Diane nonchalantly. "And in other news…"
Then Lois turned off the TV.
"Meg, is there anything you may want to tell us?" asked Lois.
"Well, maybe it's my fault that that plant is now devouring the town" said as she showed a shy smile.
"Meg, we told you to be responsible while using that book!" said Lois angry.
"Come on Lois, don't be so harsh with the kid. Besides, that plant is far away form us and-" said Peter before a huge branch broke the window. Everybody then gasped, and run away from the green vine.
"Oh, look what you've done, you stupid girl!" shouted Peter "Now we're going to die! I knew it was your fault from the beginning!"
"Peter, stop it! Shouting at Meg won't solve anything!" said Brian. "We must do something!"
"How about playing 'I see'?" asked Chris.
"I mean something like escaping from that killing plant!" said Brian annoyed. "It's coming!"
"Hurry, to the back door!" said Lois.
The family made their escape in the nick of time. The plant kept growing, collapsing the Griffin's house. A vine also teared apart Cleveland's house. And, as everybody can expect, he's taking a bath. The bathtub begins to slide off.
"Nonononononono…!!" His tub lands in the ground, broking to pieces. "I don't know why I keep bathing. Everybody says it, it's better having a shower." Then he looked to the growing plant. "Oh, this isn't going to end well…" said before being covered by roots.
Back to the Griffins, they've ran for a while until they were far away from the plant.
"Okay, we have a giant growing plant, what can we do?" asked Lois.
"There's only one who can help us" said Peter in a theatrical way "And I know where I can find it!"
"Chuck Norris?" asked Chris.
"No, he's kinda busy right now".
Minutes later…
"And that's why we need your help," said Peter. "Will you help us?"
"No!" replied his interlocutor.
"Why not?"
"Because all of you kicked my ass in the mall two weeks ago!".
In front of them was…the giant flame throwing bug.
Suddenly, the roof of the bug's house is teared apart by the giant plant.
"Oh crap, it's here! We're going to die!" said Stewie.
"Good…good!" said the bug pleasured.
"You're going to die too, you idiot!" replied the baby.
"Oh…"
A giant Piranha Plant blossoms from a bulb, and devours the giant bug.
"Well, one problem less" said Meg. "Now we only have to deal with that plant"
"Don't worry, family, I know exactly what to do!"
Cutaway
Peter is in a pub dancing with his friends.
"I love Maroon Five" said Peter.
"I like more Linking Park, but Maroon Five it's Okay to me" said Joe.
"I prefer Rihanna" said Quagmire.
End Cutaway
"Peter, what the hell did you do?" asked Lois.
"Okay, it seems that didn't get rid of that plant, but I have another plan!"
The screen turns into a bi dimensional 8-bit screen, portraying the city of Quahog as an old Mario game stage. Peter runs forward, with his family following him. Two goombas approaches to him, but he jumps twice and kills them. The he faces a Koopa Troop. He jumps on him, and the turtle hid in his shell. Peter then kicked the shell, which killed the nearby goombas and Koopa Troops. After that, Peter hits a question block and a Fire Flower appeared. Peter catches the flower, and his pants turned white and his shirt turned red. He continued advanced through the bi dimensional Quahog, throwing bouncing fireballs killing all his enemies.
"Haha, this is too easy" laughed Peter.
"Dad, watch out!" shouted Meg.
"Huh?"
Peter then was hit by a vine whip, losing all his power ups. Then the screen turns again to normal. They all were surrounded by killing plants.
"Crap, this is the end!" said Brian. "And before dying, there's something I must do!" said Brian.
"What?" asked Lois.
Then Brian kisses Lois in her lips. Lois reacted punching him.
"If this was a movie, I'm sure that something would happen to save us" said Peter, looking to the screen. However, nothing happened.
"COME ON GUY! DO SOMETHING FOR SAVE US!" shouted Stewie to the narrator (me).
Sorry, I can't think in a way to save you without being a Deus es Machina, so you're all going to die.
All the family stares at me angrily. Okay okay….
Meg then wakes up.
"What the hell?" asked Meg, as she rubbed her eyes. She saw that the growing potion bottle was still in the counter, unbroken.
"It was all a dream?"
"Megan, are you still there?" asked Helen.
"Oh, sorry Mrs Wayne, I think I fell asleep" said Meg.
"Don't worry honey. You worked a lot today. You should better go back home" said the old lady.
"I had a very strange dream" said Meg "I created a giant mutant Piranha plant that destroyed Quahog." Said Meg. Helen then laughed at his dream.
"You're only tired. I'm sure after a good sleep, you'll fell better."
"I guess you're right…Piranha plants…how stupid…" said Meg.
" Tomorrow you'll have the day off so you can rest."
"Thank you. Well, goodbye" said Meg as she left the store.
Helen then closes the store, picked a sack full of meat, and went down to the store's basement. There lied a huge Piranha plant with multiple heads. Helen fed it throwing the meat, which the plant wolfs down.
"Come on Sherman, you must eat all the meat if you want to grow larger" said the old lady softly.
"You could add it chili, couldn't you?" replied the plant, annoyed.