Author's Note:
Puck's summer note continues from Day 23 and for Rachel, Rachel starts with Day 1. Her notes will be a mixture of both a reply to his notes, and in change of pace from previous chapters, how she coped with what happened between them. Do you feel like that's a little too much to do at once?
Day 28/Day 6 is lyrics from 'Tiny Vessels' by Death Cab for Cutie.
The cliffhanger from the previous chapter won't be resolved until the next chapter. I love hearing your feedback :) (And I'm curious to hear your thoughts on Rachel's new way of thinking)
Day 23/
Ordered two boxes of Dominos today.
It was just me, the pizza, and Cat for company.
What a wonderful life indeed.
Day 1
I hope you shared that pizza.
It would have been disgraceful of you if you didn't.
I'm sure you could have used the fat after burning all those calories with Santana.
I'm glad the sex with her was spectacular, by the way.
No, really. I'm thrilled.
It's rare to find chemistry, that undeniable urge to be with someone at every moment.
I feel it with Finn.
Do I love him?
I don't know.
But he doesn't leave me.
Day 24/
The sky was beautiful tonight.
It reminded me of the time we moved blankets and pillows onto your roof, and counted the stars.
You were in another tangent of yours, whining the roof was going to cave in because of our weight.
I lost track after five and spent the rest of the evening persuading you to make out.
We hit second base that night.
Day 2
I destroyed all the stars I carried around.
I destroyed those stars. Don't you dare talk to me about stars.
It felt like fragments of me died every time I cut the pieces.
Do you know what it's like to feel like you're killing yourself, and still be unable to stop?
I'm trying to hold myself together, these bits and holes.
But I can't keep sewing my stitches to let you tear the sutures apart.
Day 25/
This pool cleaning business is picking up.
I've met some sexy girls (and moms) with this lucrative investment of mine.
At the rate I'm getting out asked out, I'll be married in a week.
Just kidding. Maybe.
You had your chance.
And you blew it.
Day 3
You can't see me right now but I'm laughing, clutching my sides and it hurts to the bone.
The chlorine has gone and affected the minor brain cells you possessed.
You left me.
Don't forget to remember that.
No one forgets the truth. They just get better at lying.
Is that what you do?
Lie to cover up your role in this disaster?
Day 26/
I've never been jealous of Finn.
Not even when he had Quinn.
(Even when I had her later)
It didn't feel like anything was missing.
But now, I feel that ache all the time.
You've become my phantom limb, the missing tooth I roll my tongue over.
(Not that I have missing teeth. You know what I mean)
Sometimes, I forget how you sound.
That voice, that voice that talks relentlessly without a pause.
I miss the awkward way you walk.
Those legs that last for miles.
I miss the way you smile and the whites of your eyes.
I miss you and I will miss you.
Day 4
Thanks for being a jerk today and stepping on my foot in Glee.
I wouldn't have worn my new ballet flats had I known you were going to do that.
Day 27/
I saw Finn today.
Surprisingly he wasn't with his ball and chain.
(That means you)
Did some weed, played some video games.
He told me your dads are out of town. Again. No surprise there.
We had some good times when they were away frequently.
He left early.
Because he wanted to make the most of his alone time with you.
I don't know.
He already goes to bed with you (most nights)
He already wakes up with you (most mornings)
I could care less.
It's just me and the long night that surrounds me.
Day 5
My dads were away a lot that summer.
Finn and I had the house to ourselves a lot.
You'd be surprised at what could be done when it's just two.
I could explain but you know what they say, some pictures are worth a thousand words.
Have fun (imagining)
Day 28/
I had sex with some high school chick from the town over.
We went out a couple of times. She's starry eyed and shit.
She told me that she loves me, I'm the one for her.
Who says that, anyway?
this is the moment that you know that you told her that you loved her but you don't.
you touch her skin and then you think she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
so one last touch and then you'll go and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
but it was vile and it was cheap, she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Day 6
Funny.
Almost sounds like you're talking about me.
And us.
And that night.
all the playful misspellings and every bite i gave you left a mark
tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade
but they did, and so did i that day.
Day 29/
It has been two weeks of you and Finn.
Do you count anniversaries?
You mentioned it once.
You count the first, the sixth, the ninth and the year.
Halfway at the first one, I suppose.
Unless you're counting as if you never broke up.
In that case, here's your math.
It's your seven month with Finn (not counting the barely three weeks you were apart)
And it's our sixth. Six months since the day I left.
Happy anniversary, dahling.
And in case you've forgotten, I remember every drop.
Day 7
Why do I have to feel guilty if you're the one who left first?
I'm not going to apologize for Finn choosing me over you this past summer.
You, you were lonely.
Whatever.
I was heartbroken.
You left me a wreck.
You ruined parts of me.
Don't be mad because of how I chose to put myself together.
I can be fine without you.
And that scares you.