Hello again, readers! I decided to just upload this dialogue-filled chappy, 'cause even though it's real short, I think it's quite heavy on the crazy - and Gran hasn't even made an appearance.

Anyway, enjoy! And remember, you guys are awesome.

P.S. Has anyone seen "About Time"? (movie) It's got a great moral and the soundtrack is great, especially "Il Mondo" by Jimmy Fontana. I'm a little obsessed with the movie. Heh.

Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC ('cause if I did, there would be another season.)

Warning: There's a bigger dose of profanity in this chapter, and a hella lot of sexual innuendos. You've been warned.

Chapter 10

For the Love of Llamas

"Maybe I should go after her," mused Kenta, making to follow Koko.

"Oh, no you don't, lad," said Giovanna, dragging him back by the collar.

"Huh?" he said.

"Best you don't, lovey. You barely know the girl," said Francesca.

Hikaru and Kaoru nodded in agreement, slowly edging away from Mori. The tall host was glaring daggers at Kenta. Francesca and Giovanna also noticed the dark aura emanating from not only Mori, but Honey as well. The cousins obviously did not like the boy.

"Tut-tut, off you go, lovey," said Francesca as she made a shooing motion.

Kenta gave her a funny look. "Right, I'll be going," he said after noticing the aura.

After he was far enough out of earshot, Giovanna started muttering insults, both in Japanese and Italian.

"Lovey, calm down," said Francesca, not at all kindheartedly.

"Yeah, we've still got phase two!" exclaimed Kaoru.

"Phase two?" Honey cocked his head with curiosity.

Giovanna whacked the ginger on the back of the head. "Way to go, doppelganger. You keep secrets like Fancy keeps it in her pants," she scoffed.

"I am not a puttana!" cried Francesca indignantly.

"Oh, right, I am," said Giovanna.

"What's a puttana?" asked Honey.

"Such naivety," drawled Giovanna.

"Don't go teaching the poor child bad language!" exclaimed Francesca.

"You were the one who said it in the first place," retorted Giovanna.

"Don't sass me, lovey—"

Kyoya interrupted the squabbling aunts. "You all realize that Fukui-san went in the same direction as Kokoro?" he asked.

Giovanna looked livid. "That motherfu—"

Within minutes of her departure, Koko realized, once again, that she did not have a ride home. It was like someone had it out for her (most likely her late great aunt). She stopped in her tracks.

"What to do… What to do…" she mused.

"How about me?" a husky voice breathed into her ear.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" cried Koko, throwing up her arms in surprise.

"Ow! Geez, woman! My eye!" cried Kenta.

"Oh, for the love of llamas, my hand! What is your face made out of? Bricks?" she asked, nursing her throbbing hand.

"What is your hand made out of? Iron?" retorted Kenta as he pressed a hand to his eye.

"Yup, I'm freaking Ironman," she replied sarcastically. "And what are you? Some kind of perv that enjoys sneaking up on girls and feeding them those horrible lines?"

"Some girls find it endearing," he shrugged.

"I just wanted to go home!" wailed Koko. "Oh my god, I think you broke my hand."

"Stop with the theatrics, woman!" retorted Kenta.

"Stop calling me woman! What happened to your gentlemanliness in the closet?" she asked.

"I couldn't tell if you were pretty or not," he replied.

Koko gaped unattractively at him. "You are—just—I don't even know—"

"The term you're looking for is superficial," said Kenta, tapping gingerly around his eye. "Does it look bad?"

Koko pursed her lips. "It looks like you were hit by a camel," she said.

"Why a camel?" he asked.

Koko shrugged. "First thing that came to my mind."

"On second thought, I think I prefer one of the women back there. I like my ladies older," he said with a smirk.

"Oh come on, those are my aunts," replied Koko with exasperation.

"Don't knock it 'till you try it."

"That's incestuous."

"Not for me~"

"Jesus, make it stop," groaned Koko. "I'm sorry great auntie Fernande for shaving your cat because it made me sneeze, and for calling you fat – though you really should've laid off of all the doughnuts – and for stealing all your ice cream – but come on, the double chocolate fudge brownie is sinful – oh, and sorry for setting fire to your favorite teapot," she prattled on to the grand ceiling of the school.

Kenta, on the other hand, was staring at her like she was nuts. "Great auntie Fernande?" was all he asked.

"My mother's from Haiti," said Koko.

"Ah."

"Wait a minute," she suddenly stiffened.

"What? You just realized you're insane?" drawled Kenta.

Koko snorted. "You sound like my brother. And my whole family's crazy, it's genetic. Even the ones that haven't lived with us – my aunts for example – are crazy," she gestured to the air.

"Crazy's an attractive quality," said Kenta.

"You change your mind like a girl changes clothes," snapped Koko.

"Yeah, and you PMS like a bitch," retorted Kenta.

"You would know," countered Koko. "I can't believe you know that song. Now where was I?" she said.

"You were going on about how crazy you are?" offered Kenta.

"No, not that," replied Koko flippantly. "You said that you weren't sure if I was pretty or not in the closet, yet you hit on me when we were out of the closet," she said.

"I know I like my ladies dumb…" said Kenta.

"I'll have you know that I have averagely above average grades!" exclaimed Koko.

"Oh? Averagely above average?"

"I feel like strangling you," Koko huffed.

"I'm into that sort of thing."

"You need Jesus."

"Or sex."

"Oh my god, you said it!"

"What? Sex?"

Koko clasped her hands over her ears. "Blah blah blah!"

"Sex, sex, sex!"

"Still can't hear you~"

"Sex, sexy sex, sexy McSexiness!"

"Sexy McSexiness? What the heck?"

"It's me, I'm Mr. McSexiness."

"In your fantasies."

"Would you like to make them come true?"

"BLAAAHHHH—"

"Um, guys?"

Koko dropped her hands, realizing that she and Kenta were rather close in proximity. She took an alarmingly fast step away from him. Kenta removed his hands from around his mouth (having tried and failed to amplify his voice).

"Erm… Hi, Haruhi-kun," said Koko.

"Why do you have a black eye?" asked the brunette, eyeing Kenta's new shiner.

Kenta turned to Koko. "You said it wasn't noticeable!"

She shrugged. "I never said that. I said you look like you were hit by a camel."

"I thought you were joking."

"Nope," she chirped.

Haruhi sighed. "Did you give him a black eye?" she asked Koko.

"He started it."

"And I'd like to finish it, too," said Kenta, waggling his eyebrows.

"Make him stop—" Koko whined, shoving him away. "This is considered sexual harassment!"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY SEXUAL HARASSMENT?"

"Oh, look, it's Captain Sexual Harassment," muttered Haruhi.

"Who is sexually harassing my daughter?" asked the idiotic blonde. He snatched Haruhi into a tight hug, glaring at Kenta.

"Right now, you are boss," said two sets of voices.

"Jesus! When did you two get here?" asked Koko, turning around. "And you brought the entire brigade!"

"We couldn't leave you alone to the clutches of that canoodler over there!" exclaimed Giovanna.

"Which one?" asked the ginger twins with equally mischievous smirks.

"I just needed a ride home!" wailed Koko.

"I can give you any kind of ride you want," said Kenta with a wink.

"I will smother you," seethed Koko.

Kenta shrugged. "I told you, I'm into whatever you are."

"You need Jesus," she reaffirmed.

"You can always settle for a lawsuit," offered Kyoya.

"Again, with the lawsuits!" exclaimed Giovanna, tossing up her hands.

"I think someone is going to lose it," said Honey. Koko couldn't agree more, and that person was probably going to be her in the next forty-five seconds. Then again, Mori looked pretty vexed. She was surprised the Hitachiin twins hadn't started placing bets.

"My yen's on the nutcase."

"Which one?"

Ah, never mind.

"So, how about it?" asked Kenta, a devious smile on his lips as he peered down at her.

"The least you could do is ask me on a date before wanting to get the frick-frack on—"

"—You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen~" What a lovely ringtone Haruto had set for her phone.

"What is it?" she cried into the receiver.

"Good Heavens, children these days! Don't even know how to answer a phone properl—"

"AARRRGHHH!"

CRASH!

Silence.

Ah, the scene. How could one possibly describe it? Koko's phone was nearly shattered on the floor, having left a slight dent in a locker. Hikaru and Kaoru had been teasing Tamaki by flirting outrageously with Haruhi, Kenta and Mori had been having a glaring contest, Honey was standing awkwardly between the two, and the Italian twins had been shamelessly ogling the two tall boys' bodies. Meanwhile, Kyoya had been ignoring everyone as he wrote in his little, black notebook. And now, all of them were staring at Koko with varying degrees of bewilderment.

Hikaru held out a hand to his brother. "You owe me five thousand yen."

Please Review!

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I want to know what you want.

Edited 31/12/14