Chapter9 –Not like usual–

I hadn't been able to sleep the rest of the night (or morning) although I should have dropped on bed and fell asleep immediately after all what had happened.

I tiptoed up to my room, praying that Mom and Granny wouldn't wake up to the sound of my pounding heart. It seemed that the way to my room was suddenly ten times longer than usual. When I finally reached it –shutting the door quietly behind me– I let my eyes wander around in the well-known place.

Well-known, yes, I had lived here since I was born, but still… Something was different than usual, something had changed…

I walked around, carefully, to not make any noise. My hands stroke everything that I passed by, as if I wanted to reassure myself that all was real and not just a produce of my imagination. I retraced the wood grain of my cupboard and my desk with the tip of my fingers, my nose only inches above the smooth surface, inhaling the bitter smell of wood. –All was just the same as usual, but then, at the same time, everything seemed to be totally foreign and new.

Sunlight flew in my room through the window, diving everything in a golden gleam. I stepped to the window and opened it, allowing the fresh morning air to enter.

I looked at the emerald wall of trees, the blue sky and white clouds shined purple by the rising sun. I sighed and watched silently the golden sun climbing up the sky, filling the dark night with light and warmth.

I looked up when I heard someone working in the kitchen downstairs. – Mom must have woken up.

I broke my eyes free from the beautiful scenery and went washing myself to get ready for school today. I noticed the many mud blobs on my night gown when I started to dress up. The white fabric was almost completely brown and green with mud and grass. I bit my lip.

Momma will kill me if she sees this!

I decided to wash it after getting home and tossed it in the deepest corner of my wardrobe.

School was like always, except for one thing. I couldn't put my hand on it properly but everything seemed to be… lighter than usual. No matter where I looked, into the classroom, out of the window or at my friends – everything seemed to be perfect and raying joy.

"Chloe?"

I barely heard Fabienne calling me; I was so enchanted form the play that five little birds which were bathing in a little puddle on the school ground provided. One of them, the smallest one, stood at the border of the puddle and staring at the water with a cocked head, its tiny beady eyes showed curiosity and skepticalness.

"Chloe, I've asked you a question."

Another bird, probably the freshest and bravest one, flapped wildly with its wings and sprinkled water drops everywhere. A drip landed on the little one at the border, making the bird jump a few inches away from the puddle. It squeaked at the wet-maker reproachfully. I giggled.

"Hello? Chloe de Trèfle? Anyone at home?"

"That's useless, Claudine. Step back and watch… … Chloe!"

I jumped in my seat and an undefinable sound escaped through my lips.

Chantal smirked satisfied. "That's how to do it," she said smugly.

I took deep breaths and concentrated on slowing down the rhythm of my heart. "W-what happened?"

Three pairs of eyes stared at me with disbelieve.

"What happened, she asks," Chantal muttered and rolled her eyes at me.

"Don't you know it yet?" Fabienne wondered.

"Erm… what am I supposed to know?" I demanded; my head cocked to aside.

Another second of "staring-at-Chloe-funny" passed.

"She really doesn't know," Fabienne concluded, smiling amused.

"It's so Chloe," Claudine giggled.

I blinked at them with a puzzled face.

Chantal sighed. "Come," she said curtly, took my hand and dragged me out of the crowed room, Claudine and Fabienne followed us on our heels.

Warm light greeted us when we stepped out on the school ground. I smiled at the golden sun and inhaled the fresh air.

"How can you smile at a time like this?" Chantal scolded when she came to a halt and turned around to look at me reproachfully.

I blinked at her irritated but the smile on my face stayed. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly when she made a sneering sound. "What do you mean," she echoed in an annoyed tone.

I guess I should have been worried or suspicious or felt anything bad at least then. But my good mood was simply too strong to be blown away so quickly. I continued blinking and smiling at my best friend who seemed to want beat something (or someone) up at the moment.

"Don't you know it?" Fabienne asked again. "Haven't you heard anything about Janette and Antoine the last few days?"

I thought back but couldn't remember anything special. I must have been so deep in my own problems that I missed everything else around me. I shook my head no. "Is something wrong with them? Are they ill? They both came to class today, didn't they?"

Fabienne nodded. "Yes, that's not the point. It's… well… I expected that you would be down."

"Why?" I was still smiling brightly.

Chantal snorted and turned away, her lips pressed to a hard line, her eyes still narrowed. My happiness was annoying her somehow.

"Well…" Claudine finally started to explain. "Yesterday, we heard our mothers talking about… something…"

"Maybe it's just a rumor," Fabienne interrupted, her eyes shining with concern and unsureness. "So you don't need to be upset."

I nodded and tried to make a serious face but the smile just wouldn't leave my lips.

"Yeah, a rumor," Claudine continued after checking whether we were observed. "However, our mothers had tea together yesterday." –I nodded. Our mothers always had a tea afternoon together once a month– "And Madame d'Auvert said," –Chantal made a sneering sound when Claudine mentioned her mother– "that… her sister Madame Millieux told her, that her husband Monsieur Millieux told her, that the pastor told him, that our principal told him, our French teacher Mademoiselle Larousse told him, that the janitor Monsieur Parler told her, tha-"

"Janette has confessed Antoine her love!" Chantal exploded. Her voice was so loud that the birds on the trees flew away panicked.

The smile on my face finally vanished to leave the space for an expression of astonishment.

A moment of perfect silence followed.

The memory of the day when I saw Janette and Antoine standing under the big oak tree came back to life. It had been exactly the place where the four of us were standing now.

"So what is it you wanted to tell me, Janette?"

Depressing silence answered him.

"Erm… Janette?"

She inhaled deeply, using all courage she had. "I love you, Antoine. Please be my boyfriend."

Sometime, I remembered how to shut my mouth. I waited for them to continue but nothing came. I noticed that they were awaiting a comment from me. I cleared my throat. "Yes, I know."

They stared at me with big eyes, all with different emotions. Surprise, disbelieve and anger.

"You knew?" Chantal hissed in a low threatening tone.

"Erm… yes, I have always expected something like this. I told you a few weeks ago, remember?" I reminded her.

She pursed her lips, thinking back, and her face darkened even more at the memory. Chantal didn't like to be wrong.

"You have expected this?" Fabienne gasped. Claudine was still staring at me with a hung open mouth, totally speechless.

I shrugged, my good mood coming back to me again. "Well, it was kind of obvious. The way how Janette looked at Antoine and how she behaved in his presence. It was pretty clear, actually."

Fabienne's mouth dropped open like Claudine's. Their eyes seemed to fall out of their sockets soon. I giggled at their faces.

"What's so funny, Mademoiselle de Trèfle?" Chantal asked; her expression still annoyed. I opened my mouth to reply but she cut me off. "Do you think this is funny?"

I blinked puzzled. "Erm…"

"Janette and Antoine – together!" she complained loudly. "That's…" –she bit her lip, looking for the right word– "wrong!"

"Why? Isn't it great when two people love each other?" I interjected, my voice raying with delight.

She shot me an angry glance. "Are you kidding?" –her voice was quiet and threatening again– "Chloe, tell you're kidding."

"Erm… I'm not?"

Her hands started to shake with rage and her eyes gained a dangerous red shade. "Chloe de Trèfle! How dumb can you be?"

I winced and duck my head. I was used to my best friend's bad patience and her habit to loose her nerves easily, but this was the first time that she had shouted at me so loud. Claudine and Fabienne seemed to be surprised too.

"All the years," Chantal groaned, pacing around like a tiger in a cage. "All the years with him running after her like a freak. All the years with me telling her permanently. And now, when he received another girl's confession she says that it's great that the two of them had found each other!"

"But, Chantal," I tried to calm her down. "Why shouldn't it be a good thing then? We are supposed to be happy for them, aren't we?"

She looked at me for a long moment, her features becoming softer and softer with each breath she took. But she didn't look fine after she had calmed down – she looked kind of… desperate. "You really don't understand it, don't you?" It sounded like a sigh.

I cocked my head to aside. "What don't I understand?"

She looked at me silently for another long moment, her eyes sad and somehow disappointed. "Never mind," she whispered in the end. Then she left without another word.

Chantal avoided looking at me for the rest of the day. During all lessons she didn't even turn her head towards my direction. She just kept staring straight forward to the board, her face an unreadable mask.

It bothered me. I have never seen her like that. So… silent and emotionless, it made me nervous. And so it made the rest of our friends nervous. Fabienne and Claudine an anxious glance at me and Chantal threw now and then. The boys had noticed the tension among us, too, to my utter surprise. Dominique chewed permanently on the end of his pencil and would stop to look secretly at us every two minutes for about two seconds, before he turned back to his desk and continue knock his teeth in his demolished pencil. Louis sat directly in front of us and I could see how his head winced nervously around. His pen fell from the desk accidentally. When he bended down to pick it up I saw his hands were shaking. Julien –the quietest and most responsible one among us– just looked at Chantal's and then at my face once, but for a very long time. His blue eyes bored deep into my green ones and I had the feeling that he could read my mind. He didn't look at us again after staring at us for about an entire minute with his sea-blue eyes. His attention wandered back to Antoine who was sitting next to him and I guessed that the situation between his best friend and his twin sister had priority at the moment.

But although the others seemed to be extremely anxious about it, I really couldn't see a problem in all this.

Janette had confessed Antoine her love. –So what?

It was a good thing, wasn't it? Shouldn't we feel happy for our two precious friends? So why was everyone making such a big tantrum because of this?

I looked at my friends. –Claudine, Dominique, Fabienne, Louis, Julien –and at last– Chantal. None of them seemed to make a happy face…

I bit my lip. What was going on here?

I turned to Janette. She was staring at the board, but her face didn't show concentration, it looked tied. Her skin was a little paler than usual and her eyes, which usual sparkled like a pair of sapphires, seemed dull and watery, like the sky when it was covered by a thin shroud of mist. She didn't look happy, but she didn't look sad either. It was as if she was… waiting. The waiting made her tied but she still continues to wait because she hopes that her patience will be requited in the end.

Was this the face of a beautiful girl who got the prince of her dreams? Maybe…

Antoine sat in the last row –it was the farthest seat from Janette who was sitting on the very right of the first row– so I couldn't simply turn around to look at him without the teacher notice (my seat was on the very left of the second row directly at the window).

I frowned. I needed to check on Antoine if I wanted to know whether my theory was right or not. But before I could think of a good idea the teacher called me to read the next passage as if he had read my intentions to not concentrate on the lesson. I got up and started reading; the Janette-and-Antoine-task would have to wait until the end of classes.

Chantal jumped up and rushed out of the room as soon as the teacher had announced that the class was dismissed. I didn't even notice her get up; she was simply gone when I looked up after packing my books. And so was Antoine.

I walked out of our little school building slowly – if I walked fast while being deep in thoughts I would trip with a hundred percent guarantee. I was one of the last ones crossing the front doorstep, because today was Saturday everyone wanted to get home faster to enjoy the next free day.

I saw Chantal and Antoine standing at the gate, discussing about something serious apparently. They stopped abruptly when they saw me coming. Antoine's cheeks blushed in a bright red.

"Chantal, Antoine," I greeted them, trying to sound enthusiastic. "Can I go home with you two?"

"I need to hurry," Chantal abnegated to my disappointment. It seemed that she was still angry with me. "I promised mamman to help her to make… er… raspberry-jam today."

I frowned. "But your mother is allergic against raspberry, Chantal."

"Who said that it was for her," she replied, looking everywhere but at my face. "It's… for my father."

"Doesn't he hate sweet things?" I interjected.

She pressed her lips together to a hard line. "That she remembers," she muttered and stomped away, leaving me and her cousin back.

I cocked my head to aside. What was wrong with my tough, fresh, heady friend Chantal?

"Erm…" Antoine broke the silence, scratching the back of his head, his face still red. "Shall we go then?"

I smiled and nodded. "Sure."

The way home was surprisingly quiet – almost too quiet. Antoine's face changed colors like a chameleon – pink, red, bright red, chalk white and red again. If I hadn't worried about him before the scene would have been very amusing, I guess. I didn't say a word though the silence between us felt so unnatural and uncomfortable that it hurt my nerves. I assumed that he was deep in thoughts so I didn't want to disturb him.

I looked up at the sky and for the first time today I noticed how late it already was. It was already afternoon – late afternoon. My eyes widened in shock.

"I agree to meet you everyday in the late afternoon at the meadow… I will be waiting for you."

I was late! This was probably my only chance and I would be late!

I winced when Antoine suddenly cleared his throat. "Chloe, are you okay?"

"Yes, sure," I answered a little too fast.

He raised an eyebrow but didn't ask further questions on that topic. Good thing that he and his cousin were so different. "If you say so," he said instead. Then suddenly his cheeks turned bright pink again and his voice was a little higher and quieter than usual. "Erm… Chloe… I… can I ask you… something?"

"Sure," I responded without looking at him, my eyes were glued to the emerald-green forest now. "Go ahead."

"Umm… it's… it's about something… private."

"We are friends," I said frivolously, still not looking at him. "Just ask whatever you like to."

I heard him take a deep breath. "I was just… wondering… well… I know it's none of my business actually, but… er… I'm… curious…"

"Go ahead," I encouraged him. –Was there just a movement at the tree over there?

Another deep breath. "A-are you… in love… with someone, Chloe?"

My head finally spun around, turning my attention to him. I started at his tomato-red face with big eyes. I couldn't say a word.

Did he possibly know something about –I felt like sighing just when I thought the name– Adrian? And if yes, how could he know? Had he met –another inner sigh– Adrian, too? But when?And where?

The red in his face became –against my assumption– stronger. "Y-you don't have to answer if you don't want to! I-I'm sorry that I asked you something so private and… and indecent."

I continued staring at him speechlessly. My mouth hung open like an O.

"I'm so, so sorry, Chloe!" Antoine went on apologizing, his voice rolled over with excitement. I had never heard him talk so fast. "I really never should have… oh, I'm so sorry, Chloe! Please forgive me! What just happened to me? I never should have listened to Chantal!"

"Wait!" I finally managed to gasp. He was quiet instantly. "Ch-Chantal… told you to ask me… that?"

He looked down at his feet, his face pink now. "Well, encouraged is the better word, I suppose."

I blinked in irritation.

"I… I've always… wanted to ask you…"

My mouth dropped open again but this time I remembered how to shut it again fast. "You… always… huh?" –I frowned in confusion– "Why?"

He looked down at me, his dark brown eyes looked straight in my green ones. His face still showed embarrassment but there was also the hint of something else. –Sadness perhaps?

He opened his mouth, ready to say something, but then shut it again quickly. "Not important. Don't worry about it," he told me in the end with a gentle smile. It, too, looked sad. Then his smile grew bigger, increased to the bright dimple smile that only Antoine could make. "We have more than enough other things to worry, don't we? Puh… the maths homework we got today will be hard. What is Monsieur Bâteau thinking? Does he really believe I like to pass my precious free Sunday with two pages of math-exercises?"

He went on babbling but I didn't listen to him anymore. We have more than enough other things to worry. Yes, indeed, I really had something more –much more– important thing to worry.

I looked back at the sky. The sun was lowed than before and the clouds had gained a slight pink shade.

"Umm, Antoine?" I cut him off in his flow of words. "I promised mamman to get some flowers today."

"Oh, erm, sure," he said, the slight sad gleam crawled back on his face. "I'll see you tomorrow or at school then, I guess."

I nodded with a smile. "Sure, au revoir." I waved goodbye and almost ran in the beautiful forest, my smile grew bigger with each step I took in anticipation.