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Squall was back in the Quad after a long day of working. Leaning back on his favorite bench he saw the children playing with the butterfly, as usual. He watched them, their glowing faces.
I hope they catch that butterfly one day, he thought to himself. The advanced training class, the students to soon become SeeDs, were having some kind of music festival. There weren't a lot of people there, just a few band nerds playing their instruments with relaxed and peaceful looks on their faces as if their whole purpose in life was to be there. He couldn't blame them. They definitely weren't shabby. They were doing a classical piece Squall had never heard them do before. They usually did the same pieces and he was glad to see they had found another one to practice. He was just tapping his foot to the beat, watching the children play.
He heard footsteps. He didn't want to look up. He was sure it would be someone he didn't want to see. Kelsey, asking him with endless questions or Rinoa, hanging all over him when she had a boyfriend or some newb he would really want to punch...
He just wanted to be alone. He needed his space every once in a while and all he had done today was answer questions and fill out paperwork. This was just how he relaxed, by going off into some corner and closing his eyes.
The footsteps were getting closer. He reluctantly raised his head and looked up to see the only person he had never expected to see and when he did see her, she didn't annoy him at all. He, in fact, really wanted her to join him...
But Quistis just walked right by him, not even glancing in his general direction. He shook his head of her face and looked back at the children. Squall's eyes focused on their faces. They were still jubilant and happy. He smiled grimly, staring at them, remembering.
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"I miss you Squall." Said the blonde girl through the telephone receiver.
"I miss you too, Lisse." Said the boy back.
"I miss you more!" She told him, tears welling up in her tiny eyes.
"Do not!" The boy protested his heart about to break because of her absence.
"Do too!" She called back, her heart in pain too.
"Nuh uh!"
"Ya huh!"
"Nuh uh!"
"Ya-" She stopped. "Oh, mom says I have to go. And mom says I can see you soon."
"When?"
"I don't know. She said soon. I guess I'll see you soon then. And we can catch the yellow butterfly together, you know, the one in my butterfly book, cause mom got me a new net!"
"Wow! I bet we will with a new net! I'll wait for you and I won't go catching anymore butterflies without you."
"You better not because- Oh, I really gotta go now."
"Okay, I love you Lisse."
"I love you too, Squall."
"Bye."
"Bye." Both ends of the phone hung up.
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He hung his head, in pain more than anything. He stood suddenly in frustration. At that moment, Quistis had been walking back by, obviously staring at him but his sudden movement had startled her and she stopped. They were face to face, silent.
She swallowed and tried to say something. But it barely came out a whisper and she didn't continue.
"I..." She stopped. She remembered herself yelling at him and a tear rose in her eye and fell down her cheek. He reached out a hand, to pull her in to a warm embrace but she stepped back and quickly wiped away her tear. He stepped towards her but she stepped back again and turned and ran up the steps and out of the Quad.
His eyes watched longingly.
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Why does he have this effect on me? She asked herself. All I did was my duty...I shouldn't be ashamed. I am not ashamed...But...his eyes...make me ashamed.
She was running through the halls of the Garden. She wiped away her tears as she ran. She had to get away. She couldn't go to her room. He could find her there. She knew he wouldn't follow her but she just couldn't go back...
She ran out into the main courtyard in front of the Garden and ran down the stone steps, through the security booth and out the main gate where she fell on her knees and cried.
I don't know what to do. I'm so confused. I need someone to hold me...I need Lisse...
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Why do I have that effect on her? I know she's upset about the other day but good God, why can't she get over it. It's in the past. Girls tend to dwell way too much on things happened in the past.
How can you talk? Asked another voice in the back of his head. You still haven't gotten over Lisse so how can you expect her to have gotten over Lisse too when she has trouble getting over the last few days?
He rolled his eyes. He found himself, sitting in the Quad, contradicting himself.
He heard more footsteps. He lifted his head, hoping, praying...
"Why do you always come here?" His best friend asked him.
"I like it here." He said closing his eyes.
"That's no excuse to send girls out crying." Squall looked up. "I saw Quistis in the hallway. I can only assume it was because of you." He assumed way too much then seeing as I didn't do anything. . He thought to himself. Then again, Zell always jumps to conclusions.
"I didn't."
"Well, for one this, Quistis and you have always been tight and when you escort mysterious newbies to you room, one can only wonder..." Squall gave him a dirty look.
"Well, it's true."
"She-"
"Stop." He said, pausing, "Think how it looks from an outsider," Zell started.
"But I-"
"Who happens to be a girl."
"I didn't-"
"Who just happened to get in a fight with you."
"We-"
"And she doesn't want-" He stood up and roughly grabbed Zell's shoulders.
"ZELL!?"
"Sheesh. What?"
"SHE-IS-MY-SISTER!"
"What?" Zell looked like he'd just been told he was pregnant.
"My sister." Squall said, almost verging on hysterical.
"Sister?"
"Yes."
"Sister?" He repeated.
"What?"
"Sister?"
"What?" But Zell's eyes were unfocused, as if trying to find something deep inside his mind.
Squall why are you so damn stupid? Here you go through all these years to keep it a secret so you won't have to think about it and it comes back to haunt you when you get accused of having relations with a newb, who let alone is your sister! He was screaming at himself. Here come all the questions.
"I remember...I remember your sister. But-but she was older than you." He looked at Squall. "I can't remember her name."
"Kelsey."
"Kelsey?" He looked confused. "Kelsey doesn't ring a bell at all."
"You-" Don't say it Squall. You're only hurting yourself. Zell doesn't care. He didn't care then and he sure as hell doesn't care now. If you tell him he's just going to drag you into a world of hurt. Just don't say anything...
He bit his lip. He was right. If he did bring this up he would be the one haunted by the memories and Zell wouldn't be affected at all. Don't do it. Don't... But the other voice in his head woke up. Zell's been your best friend for as long as you can remember knowing him. He deserves to know the secret you've kept from him all this time...If you told him about Lisse, he would remember her... Don't do it... Yes, He deserves it... No, those images will come back, they'll haunt you Squall... Yes, Zell's been nothing but loyal to you for many years... No! Yes! No! Yes!
"What?" Zell asked him. Just say it! He closed his eyes.
"You...have been using your GFs or something...I guess." Good job, loser. How many lies are you going to tell the poor guy? You're just going to get caught up in your lies and die slowly when everyone finds out and finally confronts you. He's going to figure it out eventually.
"Must be." Zell said. "Well, I ought to be getting back. I was with Selphie when I saw Quistis. I told her I'd meet up with her." Zell turned to leave but as he was walking up the steps, he stopped and stared. Stared at the exact spot where the children had resumed trying to catch the darn butterfly. And as Squall leaned his head back and closed his eyes there was a smile on his face as he listened to Zell continue up the stairs.