A/N: Sweet mother of God, I actually won Best New Author. That's amazing! Thank you so, SO much to everyone that's voted for me. It's truly an amazing honor.

So, first thing's first: finishing this chapter marks the first multi chapter story I've finished. There is one more chapter after this (and a possible epilogue) but I finished writing that chapter over four months ago. I'll leave the sappy reminiscing until the next chapter, but let's just say, it feels pretty darn good.

At first I thought this chapter was going to be super angsty... It's actually like diet angst. So there's that.

Thank you to all the readers, reviewers and voters. I hope you enjoy this chapter (and if you don't, don't worry there's still one more twist to this tale). Special thanks go out to ShinyJayne20 who is, per the usual really, one of the most awesome people I've had the good fortune of meeting through this medium. Nat, you rock, you truly do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck. I do own a little statue of Captain Awesome flexing his muscles. At least, that's what the award looks like in my mind's eye. Sadly, it serves to make me feel inferior. Damn him and his awesomeness

The Good Samaritan, Chapter 10
The Deserting

Recovery room, Washington Hospital Center
Friday, December 31st, 2004
08:32

Her heart was beating too fast for her chest. She was sure it would break right through her ribcage, it was thumping that hard. Was this what a panic attack was like? She couldn't remember ever feeling this... trapped. She looked around the room but her gaze kept getting pulled to that deliriously happy face of his. She managed a feeble smile in return but all she wanted... no, all she needed was to get the hell out of there.

"I'm... I'm going to get some breakfast," she said, her tongue seemingly too large for her mouth. It seemed as if the entire English language had evaporated and all that remained were excuses and avoidances. He nodded vigorously and she thought she heard him ask if she could bring him a donut, but she couldn't be sure. She walked out, keeping a straight posture, but the moment she had turned the corner, the façade fell. Her knees felt too weak to carry her and she struggled to remain upright. Her breathing sped up and she was forced to sit down. She put her head between her knees, trying to focus on her breathing, but it wouldn't slow down. For the first time in her life, Sarah Walker didn't know what to do, wasn't thinking rationally. She felt her years of training slip past her. No amount of training could offer comfort for the feelings that coursed through her entire being right now. She was scared and in pain. But the worst part was that it wasn't physical pain. Physical pain she could deal with.

No, this cut deeper. This was like seeing her dad carted off. This was realizing that after this day, everything would be worse.

She only noticed the nurse when she was forcibly lifted up and looked the woman straight in the eye. Her hand reflexively shot towards her hair. The pins might not have been dipped in any chemicals like usual, but they still did a mean job in pinning someone to the wall, especially when they got thrust hard enough. She stilled her movement at the last second and managed to turn the gesture into a graceful swipe of her hair. Her breathing stilled and words broke through the fog.

"I'll go get you a paper bag."

Why are you getting me a paper bag? Crap, I was supposed to say that out loud. Try as she might, the words didn't spill out and she sat there, damn near catatonic as the woman rushed out and came bag with a bag. She forcefully put it in Sarah's hands and her hands automatically lifted the bag to her mouth. She felt the panic bleed away, her mind becoming clearer with every breath taken. The nurse was rubbing her back in a comforting fashion and when she felt ready, she nodded to the nurse. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," the woman said. "Are you sure you're okay."

Sarah swallowed. "I will be."

The nurse stood up and left, leaving Sarah alone with her thoughts. It was obvious what had to be done. She had to get the hell out of there.

She all but took off in a dash, zigzagging her way through corridors, the bland paintings reduced to a blur. She only saw the revolving door, her beacon of hope, as much as the dull dreariness, and perpetually fading lines between good and evil could be considered hope. The sunlight filtered through the glass windows, bathing the exit in an ethereal glow and she was so close to reaching it. Her hand stretched out when she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

"Hi Sarah," Ellie said, a bit too perky for Sarah's taste. "What's up?"

Sarah cursed her luck. Of course the woman had to be there. Of course they had to intercept her. "I uh..." What was she supposed to say? 'Your brother wants a relationship with me and I'm running away because guess what, I'm a spy and by associating yourself with me, you're talking to a liar, a thief, a murderer, all in the name of a government. Oh, and here's the kicker, enemies might use you to get to me. I'm such a good influence for him.' She wanted to kick something, or someone, at the injustice of it all. Why the hell had she stayed? Why couldn't she just sever ties?

Then again, she'd always had severe abandonment issues, so she wasn't too shocked by the fact that she clung to any kind of connection.

"I'm going to get some fresh air," she said. She figured if she could get out of their sight, she could make a clean break for it.

"Oh, awesome, I'm going to join you," Devon said. Sarah felt like clawing her hair out, but she kept a stoic face.

"Great, let's go."

They walked outside and Sarah split up from Devon as she veered to one of the ashtrays, at which a group of people was standing around chatting amicably.

"Hi... uh... I wanted to know whether I could be so rude as to ask for a cigarette. I could really... really use it right about now," she said, her voice quivering. The group spared her a sympathetic look, obviously thinking that maybe a relative had passed or something, and a large man with a scruffy beard gave her one, as well as a box of matches. She quickly lit it and thanked the group before stalking back to Devon, who was looking at her like she had grown a second head.

"You smoke?"

"On special occasions, yeah," she replied.

"Oh yeah, considering the Chuckster is leaving tomorrow and all. I can see how that would bum you out. I mean, don't get me wrong, but you've been acting more like a doting girlfriend than an acquaintance. Not that I'm saying you can't act how you want, I'm just saying it doesn't really fit with the vibe you've been trying to give off."

She inhaled deeply and the pleasant burn filled her lungs. She felt the nicotine seep into her bloodstream, although that was probably her imagination rather than actually feeling it happen, and slowly but surely, the panic dissipated and her heart returned to a normal rhythm. She mulled Devon's words over before shrugging. "It was different, I suppose. That doesn't make me his girlfriend. It was just nice to have some form of social contact. I'm not exactly what you call a social butterfly."

Devon boomed a laugh. "You're kidding, right?" She scowled at him and he cleared his throat. "Wow, you're totally not kidding. Well, I don't know what to say. It's all up to you, I suppose."

Her scowl lessened in intensity but it still remained fixed on her face. "Yeah, I know." She took another drag and closed her eyes in barely contained bliss.

"That's really bad for you, you know?"

"I know," she simply replied. "I'm not proud of it, but sometimes, I just need a break from reality, y'know?" Boy, wasn't that the truth. Wasn't that the entire reason for sticking around Chuck? Or was it that she saw her spy life as her reality and needed a break from the monotony of sitting at home? All she knew for sure was that her head had started pounding and she felt her heartbeat in her temple, the soft pulses reminding her that she was still stressed out, still panicking, still frustrated. And she still hadn't escaped.

"Look," Devon started as he absentmindedly watched traffic pass by in front of the hospital. "I wanted to talk to you. Chuck... Chuck's got a lot on his plate right now. I mean, he's had a rough history where people continuously ran out on him. His parents did it, his girlfriend did it and his best friend did it. Well, his girlfriend and his best friend did it together... in more ways than one. What I'm trying to say is, I love Chuck like a brother and I want what's best for him. Don't just disappear. At least have the courtesy to say goodbye to him."

Sarah swallowed. "What makes you think I'll just up and leave?"

Devon turned to face her. "Call it a hunch. All I know is, don't leave the kid hanging, okay? You've been an amazing support system for him, so just grant him that common courtesy."

Sarah had faced down terrorists with AKs while she had two throwing knives, a potted plant and some flossing wire. She had won that fight without breaking a sweat. But as she looked in Devon's eyes, she couldn't find it in herself to steel her emotions and ignore his request before legging it out. So she meekly nodded. He nodded in return, before smiling again. "What do you say we go back and see how everyone's doing?"

They turned and walked back into the hospital, Sarah's craving for a cigarette temporarily forgotten.

Restaurant, Washington Hospital Center
Friday, December 31st, 2004
12:30

"Sarah," Ellie called as she cleared her table and put her garbage on the tray. She carried it over to the cart before turning around.

"Yes Ellie?"

"Look, I just wanted to thank you for the amazing care you took over my brother. And I want you to know that if there's anything that I can do for you, anything at all, you just tell me. You have my number, so feel free to call."

She surprised the spy by wrapping her in a hug. Sarah chewed on her bottom lip for a second, before tentatively returning it, not quite sure what to do. "You're welcome Ellie."

"So," she said as she straightened out. "What's next for you, Sarah?"

Sarah shrugged. "I don't know. I'll probably work for a while longer before taking a vacation to Europe or something."

Ellie gasped. "I've always wanted to go to Europe. So does Chuck. He can't stop talking about France."

"I got that impression," she chuckled in reply. She herself was pretty familiar with Paris, the city that Chuck really wanted to visit one day, and had entertained him for hours with just the simplest stories. His eyes took on that glint of wonder, the one that made her melt inside, the one that said, 'I believe every word you say.' Who knew that Sarah Walker could not only kill and main, but also entertain? She certainly didn't. But then again, Chuck had this way about him that made people find all kinds of hidden talents that had been buried deep within them. Mostly because he without reservation believed that his friends and family could do anything in the world. And his conviction just made you want to try.

Ellie gave a small sigh. "I'm actually going to miss you, how crazy is that?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I'm really going to miss you too."

"Well, I mean, there is a way so that we won't have to miss each other."

And there it was. She wondered how long it was going to take for Ellie to bring that one up. Chuck had told her that she enjoyed doing this. "You mean like giving each other our MySpaces," she deflected. Ellie's face fell.

"Sure, yeah, like giving each other our MySpaces." Of course having a MySpace page as a spy was a faux-pas of epic proportions and would've gotten her a nice big black mark on her file, something which Sarah wasn't sure would do her any favors when she would inevitably go for DNI. But Ellie didn't have to know that.

"Hey," Sarah said. "I uh... I'm going to go walk around a bit more. You guys go on ahead."

Ellie shrugged and nodded, while Devon gave her a pointed look. Morgan had already raced past and was halfway to Chuck's room, clutching a turkey sandwich. She nodded to Devon and his shoulders relaxed from the tense position they were in. She wasn't going to run. She hadn't even thought about it... that much... really.

She stopped and looked around her, really looked around. It was an odd mixture of misery and hope that was on display throughout the room. She sighed. She needed to psych herself out and bad. Just a bit more walking around and then she'd break the news to him. Tell him that they couldn't be and that it was for the best. Now all she had to do, was make herself believe it.

Washington Hospital Center
Friday, December 31st, 2004
20:45

Walking around a bit more had turned into almost four hours of non-stop walking, followed by a quick dinner in the cafeteria—making sure that neither Ellie, Devon nor Morgan would spot her—before continuing her soul-searching trip, made possible by the delightful smell of antiseptic.

Aimlessly she wandered through the deserted hallways, surrounded by the bleeping of the heart monitors and the occasional cough that sounded like someone was throwing up a lung. It was a damn miracle she had survived with her sanity intact.

She collapsed on a chair, but felt herself fidgeting. She still had energy to burn, nerves to squash, before she could say goodbye. Piece of cake... right?

She continued her speed-walking tour through the vast emptiness of the building. It seemed like no one was there anymore, the hallways empty and forgotten. It only served to creep her out. She found herself walking through corridors she was certain she'd visited already but her mind kept replaying her speech in her mind. This was it. It was show time. She walked up to the room and was about to enter when she saw him sitting there, laughing with his family. He looked so happy. Her entire resolve crumbled and she turned. Coward, she mentally berated herself. She had to bite on her lip to keep the frustrated scream inside.

Sarah sat down in the lobby, defeated. It had been a tough couple of days. Seventeen to be exact. Two weeks and three days with the most wonderful man that she had ever had the good fortune of meeting. But he was going back to Los Angeles. She accepted that now. And she had a decision to make. And the worst thing was that, despite the fact that her heart literally felt like exploding, there was but one thing to do. She had been kidding herself all this time. There would definitely be heartbreak. If not his, than most definitely hers. She sighed once more and steeled her nerves. Devon was right. They both deserved closure, and he deserved a proper goodbye from her. She had to do this to keep them safe. The both of them.

She got up, and walked back to the room, her features set in grim determination. She found the room to be deserted except for Chuck. She sighed before hardening her features once more. This was it. The end.

Recovery room, Washington Hospital Center
Friday, December 31st, 2004
20:59

"Hey stranger," Chuck grinned as she walked through the door. "How you doing? Haven't seen you in a while." The grin looked somewhat forced. He was probably wondering why she had avoided him for the better part of the day. But all that was about to be moot anyway.

"Chuck... we've got to talk."

The grin disappeared as fast as it had come. "What do you mean talk? Oh crap, I've seen plenty of movies that went like this. This is bad, isn't it?"

"I guess. Chuck, I know what it is you want... but... I... I can't... God, this is harder than I thought it would be," she growled. Why couldn't she just say it? What was so damn difficult? Way to go Walker, deny that you have no clue why you're feeling like this. And now she was talking to herself again. Fantastic. "I can't do it," she finally blurted out.

"What do you mean, you can't do it?" he asked. The way his eyes flicked away from her face for a split second told her that this wasn't genuine puzzlement. He knew what she was talking about. Disappointment flashed in his eyes and Sarah had to swallow before trudging on.

"I just mean I can't, Chuck. Don't you understand?"

"Actually, no, I don't. Explain it to me."

"Look," she started, feeling like her heart was trying it's hardest to gnaw out of her chest cavity. "Your recovery is done. I've kept my promise to you and now you're going back and I'm staying here. That's what's going to happen."

"Why?" Chuck asked defiantly. "I could stay here. It's not like I have anything in Burbank to return to. My sister will be fine without me, she has a loving boyfriend and that's what matters. Morgan is a grown man so he'll find his own way. There's literally nothing tying me to Los Angeles and you are here."

"No, you can't!" Sarah shouted. Why did this have to be so hard? Couldn't he just accept her explanation at face value and be done with it? Why did he choose now to question her?

"Why the hell not?" Chuck retorted, raising his voice to her. This was the first time that Chuck had done that and Sarah actually recoiled in shock. She half expected him to apologize, but he kept staring at her. The question kept ringing in her ears. Why the hell not?

"Because… because it's not safe for you here…"

"Is this about the robbery? Really?"

It seemed like an easy out. She should've taken it, but she couldn't. He deserved some honesty from her. "No… it's because I can't… I can't protect you… I'm not an… accountant. I'm a... a spy."

"Gee, no kidding," Chuck said, causing Sarah's eyes to widen. "I don't know about D.C., but an accountant doesn't generally have a stash of weapons hidden on his person in Los Angeles."

"Then why didn't you ask about it?" Sarah snapped, annoyed that she couldn't even keep her profession a secret from him. He had learned much more about her than she had truly wanted him to. He had learned about her. Not Sarah Walker, not Elizabeth or Elena or whatever stupid name she used.

"While I don't appreciate being lied to, I figured you would tell me when you were ready," Chuck said in a soft tone. And just like that, Sarah's resolve crumbled again. Every time she would try and take a step back, Chuck would take two steps forward. Inching closer at an agonizingly and yet deliciously slow pace. Who was she kidding? The moment he had made her laugh while he was knocking on death's door was the moment that he had won her over. But that was exactly the problem.

"But that's why… I can't. I can't protect you Chuck. And we wouldn't… we wouldn't be able to have anything… that's real. You would continuously question where I was or what I was doing or, God forbid, if I was sleeping with someone. What kind of a relationship would that be?"

"Would you?" he asked.

"Would I what?"

"Would you sleep with someone if the mission told you to?"

"I don't… I don't know anymore…" The question had been so easy to answer only two weeks ago. A simple yes with a curt nod would've been the response. No, she wouldn't be happy about it and she would try with everything that she had to get out of it. But when all was said and done, if it would've meant the difference between her losing another part of herself or people dying, she would've gladly lost a part of herself. It wasn't like she had anything or anyone caring about it anyway.

"Look Sarah, I can't look into your head. I have no idea if you care about me, but I care about you. I care about you a lot. I've never experienced this happiness in my life and I was stabbed not three weeks ago. So why can't we try?"

"Because it would never work!" Sarah shouted. The tears that she had tried to keep at bay finally started leaking out and she threw her head on the bed that Chuck was in. Her shoulders shook as the emotions that she was so used to compartmentalizing poured out of her like a tsunami.

A wave of sobs overcame her and it was only after a couple of minutes that she finally felt some form of composure return to her. She felt her hair slowly being tousled and she looked up at Chuck. The worry and pain that she was feeling was reflected in his eyes. "Even if we would be together and people would find out about you. They could capture you; use you as bait to get to me. I… I couldn't live with myself if something ever happened to you because of me. And it's not just the enemy we have to be afraid of. What if the CIA decides they want something from me that I don't want to give them? What if they decide to capture Agent Walker's boyfriend or lover or whatever the hell we're supposed to be at this point in time? What would happen then?" The question was rhetorical. She saw his eyes flash as he too realized how manipulative the government could be to reach its goals.

"So then why would you work for them?"

"Because it's the only thing I have left that's safe," she whispered defeated. She had teetered on the brink of losing it, and this was the final straw that broke the camel's back. She stood up and walked to the door. She was stopped as she put her hand on the latch, by Chuck's voice.

"Sarah, I love you. I didn't mean to say it like this, but you're being crazy. Doesn't it mean anything to you?"

She turned around and the tears pooled in the corner of her eyes again. "No," she whispered, and she saw the word, that devastating word, hit him like a sledgehammer. She might as well have shouted it at him. She yanked the door open and disappeared, nearly knocking over Ellie in the process. She heard Chuck call out after her but she blocked his words from her mind. She swore it would be the last time that she saw Chuck Bartowski. It made her feel even worse.

A/N2: For old time's sake: 238 reviews and I'll post the final chapter*. Is that evil? Hell yeah it's evil. But then again, I'm evil. I went to the professor Moriarty school of villainry. I just made up a word. But I can do that. My words are now diamonds. See you soon (hopefully).

*No, this isn't actually meant to force people to review. I'll throw the chapter up in a few days. I had hoped the rest of my second A/N would've made people aware of the silliness, but this was not the case. So yeah, just FYI, review if you want to people, don't feel obliged :P