A/N: Ahhh so you guys hate this Abbie. Yeah, I know. she's not my favorite either. But, every character has to be different now and again right? Lol, happy readings guys.
"Alex, sweetie, you haven't eaten in two days." Casey says softly as she leans against the doorframe, gazing concernedly at the blonde curled up in a fetal position in her guest bed. She knows that she's the cause of Alex's pain, and it makes her feel a thousand times worse because of it.
"I'm not hungry." Alex mumbles, not even bothering to turn over and do so much as glance at the woman in the doorway.
Casey sighs heavily and runs a frustrated hand through her hair. She knows that Alex is downright impossible and when she has her mind set on something there is no way in hell that she's going to change it. But it literally has been two days since the blonde has even bothered to eat anything, and Casey knows for a fact that it's going to start taking a toll on her health. She knows that Alex is stressed and that stress combined with food deprivation makes for some pretty dangerous outcomes.
"Alex please, just please eat something for me?" She pleads softly as she cautiously steps into the room. "You're going to make yourself sick if you continue to starve yourself like this."
Once again, just as before, Alex refuses to turn over, but instead she curls herself into a tighter little ball as if to seek protection from her inner being. "I already told you Casey, I'm not hungry. Please just let it go?"
Casey's lips purse into a thin little line and she walks around to the other side of the bed. She has to fight herself to keep from gasping as she sees Alex's eyes bloodshot red, her face devoid of all make up, and her cheeks are stained with tears that continue to fall.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Casey questions softly, and as soon as the words leave her mouth, she wants to kick herself for asking such a stupid question. She knows good and well why Alex is crying, and once again, she knows that she's the cause of it.
Alex doesn't tear her eyes away from the blankness that she's staring into. Truth be told, she considers just lying there, unresponsive, hoping that Casey will eventually take the incentive and just leave her to sink further into the hole that she's been shoved into. But if anything, she knows for a fact that the redhead will sit there and wait hours on end for a response, even if it is just a small murmur.
"I don't want to talk about it." Alex mumbles, still having her gaze fixated on the nothing that she's become so familiar with over the course of the past few weeks.
With a sigh, Casey rubs the back of her neck and she curses herself for putting her foot in her mouth. "Look, I know that I'm the reason that you're upset. Well, at least I know I'm one of the reasons that you're upset. What happened a couple nights ago…listen, I just didn't mean to hurt you."
At this, Alex snorts humorlessly and she briefly shifts on the bed, her reddened eyes landing on Casey intently. "You might not have intended to hurt me, but you meant what you said…or what you didn't say."
"Sweetheart I-"
"Please don't call me that."
Casey has to fight the urge to roll her eyes as Alex cut her off. "Fine, Alex, I really didn't mean to hurt you alright? Things, they're hard right now? I mean, I know that they're hard for you; of course they're going to be hard for you. But in their own way, things are hard for me to. I don't…I just need to figure myself out?" her words come out as more of a statement than a question, and they succeed in confusing her even further.
"You need to figure out whether or not you still love me. Judging by the look in your eyes a few nights ago, you obviously don't." Alex says firmly, her tone briefly portraying that of the usual Alexandra before it quickly slips back into that of the pathetic nothing she feels like she's become. "I mean, how could you still love me? Even I disgust myself. Please, just go."
"Alex, please don't say that. I want to help you I just wish you'd let me." Casey explains softly. She opens her mouth to say more but soon finds herself cut off by the sound of someone knocking on her front door. Now who the hell could that be?
She gives Alex a knowing glance before she makes her way downstairs to the door where she is met with a very concerned looking Serena. "Serena, what're you doing here?"
Serena shivers slightly from the cold temperatures on the outside and quickly regains her composure. "I thought I would stop by on my lunch break, can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure of course." Casey says stepping to the side to allow the blonde attorney to step into her apartment.
"How is she?" Serena asks in reference to her seemingly lost best friend. "Or more so, how has she been?"
Casey sighs and wraps her arms around herself as she gets this far off look in her eyes. "She's…she's not so good Rena, in all honesty. She won't eat, she hardly ever speaks, and I don't think she gets any sleep at night."
Serena takes a deep breath and nods her head. "This case must really be hard on her…" she murmurs as she takes a seat next to the redhead on the sofa.
"I…not all of it is the case." Casey admits shamefully as she finds herself unable to look at the woman sitting next to her though she can just tell that Serena is looking at her for an explanation.
"What do you mean?"
Casey sighs again and takes a deep breathe as she hopes that this story isn't going to cause Alex's longtime best friend to slaughter her in her own living room. "A couple of nights ago, we got close…almost a little too close if you get what I'm saying. Alex, she-…she told me that she loved me, and I just…I couldn't say it back. I wanted to believe me, but something was stopping me, and I just couldn't say it."
Serena is completely silent for a moment and it actually scares Casey but she relaxes when the blonde speaks up. "I'm not here to berate either of you because it most definitely is not my place. But, why couldn't you say it? Do you not love her anymore?"
"No, I do! I just…I don't know why I couldn't say it Serena, I really don't. I want to tell her so bad, but every time I try, I just…I just stop." Casey explains sadly.
Once again there is silence from the other end of the couch. Honestly, Serena is really good at scaring the hell out of people and making them feel two feet tall with out even trying to. Finally, after more silence, she speaks again.
"What made you want to break up with her? I heard her side of the story, but I think I will understand more if I hear yours."
"Our relationship…it just got so rocky. I didn't know what to do with it anymore. I needed her to be there, and she just…she wasn't there! I don't know how else to explain. She's so…focused on everything that I felt like I was last in her life. I understand how dedicated she is to her job, but I couldn't deal with being last like that anymore. I was basically fighting mountains of paperwork for my girlfriend's attention. I was tired of waking up to an empty bed on weekends because she had put in for working overtime. I was in a relationship of empty beds and cancelled dates, and several lonely nights. Do you know what that's like?"
A small smile flits across Serena's face and she chuckles nervously as she combs her fingers through her hair. "I would have to say that I do. I'm seeing a cop remember? And Olivia is gone more times than I can count. I mean hell, not to long ago, she left me at a restaurant for two hours because she fell asleep at her desk, but we still find ways to make it work."
"But that's slightly different Serena!" Casey exclaims with an exaggerated sigh. "Alex was always gone purely by choice. I just…the fact that she put everything else in front of me, it hurt, and I didn't know how else to deal with it. She'd be so distant, and busy, and now that she needs me, I want to be there for her in anyway possible, but that one little thing is holding me back from telling her that I still love her."
"You're afraid of getting hurt then." Serena says, her words coming out as more of a statement rather than a question.
Casey sighs again and hugs her knees closes to her chest. "I guess so, and I feel so fucking selfish and stupid for thinking like that. Alex needs me, she needs you, she needs everyone. And this case, it's taking it's toll on her. It's like she's been thrown into a deep ditch and then there are people like Abbie who just come along and shove her back down every time she tries to get back up and then they just step on her to make their own way across the ditch."
Serena winces at the use of Casey's metaphor against their dark haired colleague. She knows that with Abbie's reputation, she is notorious for being cold and unrelenting towards defendants, but this is just downright ridiculous.
"I'm sorry that she's being…like that." Serena murmurs shaking her head in disapproval. "I've tried to talk to her, but then she goes all…well scary so I kind of give up."
"I just wish there was a way to get through to her." Casey says with a sigh. "For her to see what she's doing and at least have a heart."
"Yeah…Hey, would you mind if I go up and see my best friend?" Serena asks standing up from the sofa.
Casey stands up as well and holds her hand out toward the stairs. "Not at all, go right on up."
Serena nods her thanks and makes her way up there stares where she soon comes to the room where she sees a slim body curled into a tight little ball. She stands in the doorway for a moment before she enters the room and takes a seat on the bed. "Alex honey?"
Alex sniffles and turns over, a small smile spreading across her face when she sees her best friend. "Hey you." she drawls as she wipes her still reddened eyes.
"Hey yourself. How are you holding up?" Serena asks, thoroughly surprised when she feels Alex curl into her. Oh yes, this case is definitely taking a toll on her because Alex typically isn't a snuggler.
"I've been better. You know, considering the world hates me." Alex mutters indignantly.
Serena shakes her head and combs her fingers through the taller woman's hair. "The world doesn't hate you sweetie. You know…I spoke with your sister the other day." she concludes, closing her eyes when she feels Alex tense in her arms.
"Which one…" is the other wise dark question.
"Uh, the big one. Hell, you know the three of you look the same." Serena replies with a light chuckle.
Alex sits up and narrows her eyes at her best friend. "Serena, there is nearly a twenty year age difference between Lauren and I, how could you possibly say that we look the same?"
Serena shrugs nonchalantly at the question. "Your Mom carries strong genes."
Alex tenses again at the mention of her mother but she shakes it off as something that she doesn't want to talk about. "Right…anyway, why were you talking to Melissa?"
"She's worried about you, and she wants to know if you need anything. Like money, seeing as all of your accounts are-"
"You can tell her to take her money and shove it up her-"
"Alex!"
"What? I'm serious. I don't want her help and I don't NEED her help. I would rather sit somewhere broke and starving before I ask her for anything."
Serena sighs and shakes her head once again. "Why are you so hostile towards your sister? She just wants to help you."
Alex snorts and curls into Serena's side once again. "Well I don't want her help, and I don't need it. Right now, I just want you to hold me, tell me everything is going to be alright, and not ask any questions."
Placing a kiss to Alex's head, Serena holds her tighter and nods. "Everything's gonna be alright Ali, I promise."
Late That Night
She hates that she now feels like she has to make a habit of checking Abbie's office almost daily to swipe anything and everything about the Cabot case away from the dark haired attorney. It makes her feel paranoid if she doesn't which is really ridiculous.
She sighs in tension filled relief when she sees a note pad sprawled on Abbie's desk with her newly restarted legal notes about the case. "Perfect." She utters to herself as she begins to read through the notepad.
"You're handwriting is horrible." She snorts, shaking her head as she deciphers Abbie's chicken scratch cursive all over the pages. She is so focused on reading through the notepad, that she doesn't notice the brunette that has quietly crept into the office behind her.
"Hey…"
Her eyes widen to the size of baseballs and she quickly spins around only to be met with the confusing eyes of Kim who seems to be staring her up and down. "Uh, Hey."
"What're you doing in here?"
Uh oh! Ninja caught! Cliffie! And geez, Alex and Casey really do have some figuring out to do. Well, more so Casey than Alex but still.
Before I go, I just want to rant to you guys if you don't mind…I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE, all those fucking 'NOW KISS' moments on Rizzoli and Isles! I mean moment after moment there is a PERFECT moment for something to happen and then it just DOESN'T. Hell, sometimes you think it IS going to happen and then it just DOESN'T. UGH. Sorry…I needed to get that out. I am an avid Rizzles shipper and the show just loves to tease me…
Anyhow, leave you feedback?