Disclaimer: I do NOT own Beetlejuice, and I certainly don't make any money off of this.
…
November 3th 2002
…
Lydia could feel his hand on her hip tighten while the pressure of his lips complimented the gentleness of his hold on her neck. The world felt still, as if time stopped, and she would know having been on such an adventure. But that was as far as she'd let her thoughts roam as she turned her focus on kissing the man she'd fallen in love with over the course of her life.
Their relationship had started off horribly, but then slowly grew into a shaky (if forced) friendship, that lead to them becoming the best of friends, which evolved into a true companionship, and finally after everything they'd been though – everything they'd meant to each other – connected in what she hoped would turn into a romantic endeavor.
Time returned to normal, her ears popping as he lifted her back upright. Beetle's arm continued to curl around her waist like a two-toned snake, his hand stayed still despite his arms continual movement as it stayed cupping her back securely holding her in place. Fluttering her eyes open Lydia stared at the object of her wonder.
Beetlejuice had been convinced he'd finally lost the remainder of his near nonexistent sanity. Quite a few emotions shot through him as he waited for the love of his life to start experiencing the effects of the arrow. So when she lifted onto her tiptoes to try and kiss him once more he'd accidentally turned his head into a computer with an screen – complete with obnoxious dial-up noise. Lydia's laughter penetrated the pun causing his head to return to normal, which in turn caused Beetlejuice to sigh in relief. But as Lydia went to kiss him once more Beetle suddenly realized WHY they'd been able to kiss one another.
When kissing Lydia he'd been Lovejuice.
With the thought came the contract's swift retribution. His friend was allowed to hug him; she could stick her face close to his, but as soon as her lips came within an inch of his own she'd gotten deflected by an invisible force. A groan of disappointment worked its way out of Beetlejuice as Lydia slumped in his arms. He loosened his grip on the gothic woman pushed back both glad that he'd returned to "normal" and frustrated that he couldn't act on his new found feelings of romantic love.
"Awe, what happened?" She pouted at him, confused that he'd backed off.
"Hehe… it's a, eh, long two part story Babes." Beetlejuice gave her a sheepish shrug.
"Well you can start at the beginning." Lydia dryly replied back.
"Ya might hav'ta go back a few years." He stood back from her and watched as she made her way over to her coffin shaped couch to get comfortable. "Well, this beats ya hatin' me so… what do ya know about Cupid?"
"The mythological god?"
"Somethin' like that." He paced in front of her worrying about how he was gonna tell her all that had happened since the fateful day back to the Valentine's day just before her 18th birthday when Lydia's gasp stopped him short from trying to ruin her carpet.
"A though just hit me!"
"Wow Lyds, isn't that my shtick?" He gave her an uncomfortable laugh at her serious face, perhaps not realizing the extent of trouble he'd put himself in.
"Very funny, Beej." Lydia closed her eyes, bringing her fingers up to massage the flood of memories trying to assault her brain. "Why am I getting flashbacks of you as a teenager? And… oh… my…"
"Listen Babes I can explain! Ya see it's real funny when if looked at the situation at the right angle." Beetlejuice promptly produced a rather large right angle and got the worst to-date glare his partner had ever given him.
"I kissed you."
"Uh, which kissin' we referin' to Lyds?"
"How- Our agreement specifically states we can't kiss unless…" Rotating her right hand, the one with the ring he'd given her, Lydia used the bit of Juice she had control over to summon their contract***.
"Yowaza, haven't seen that scrap of pithy parchment in while."
"Deadly Voo! Look here it says: "No kissing, unless it's used to save someone's "life"." And: "Neither party will try to find a way out of this contract or to abuse any unseen loop-holes." So whatever happened back then & just now means one of us figured out the, um, kissing loop-hole." Blushing she magicked the contract away and sat straighter on her plush seating.
"Uh, yeah. I'll claim figurin' the loop-thingy out." He sat down, hovering over the matching coffin-coffee table before Lydia. "I wanted ta say somethin' fer ages Lydia."
Lydia's heart jumped to the back of her throat.
"I've been a, sh-ugar – sh-alty – sh-innomon – SUCKY friend to you over the years. I've cheated ya out of many important things, and stolen time from your life. I don't want ta be the reason ya get stuck in a rut babysittin' some old dead guy and I… see…"
"Beej, I–"
"LOOK!" Beetlejuice grabbed both her hands in his. "I LOVE ya! Not just that friendly bull either, I true blue-" He turned blue for a short moment. "-love you! I want ta spend the entirety of your EXISTANCE with ya!" Then he deflated so that he actually touched the table. "I know I shouldn't be imposin' on yer life but I can't un-live another day without ya, Babes." He closed his eyes. "What's the point of wantin' to be alive if I can't walk alongside ya? My Afterlife has no meaning if ya aren't around."
"Beetlejuice?"
"Two more times, Babes."
"Are you trying to convince me to give you up or give in?"
"Darn it, Lyds…"
"Beetlejuice."
"One more time."
"I can't say it now, but in ten years I think I'll have a very important question for you to answer. And it better be a yes with all the weirdness that's happened today! Or any other day for that matter!"
"Wait, so ya ain't mad at me?"
"Oh, I'm mad; you hid information from me-"
"For once NOT my fault!"
"-and you have a LOT of explaining to do about this whole "Cupid" mess I've found myself in!"
"Yeah, about that yer, uh, supposed to be on the spectrum of everyone else's opinion of me right now."
"Excuse me?" Lydia watched as her best friend took in a rather large unnecessary gulp of air and braced for the impact of his impending dialogue.
"So I might have pissed off Cupid, right? An he turned me into a alternate version: Lovejuice." Beetlejuice pulled a pin-up of what he looked like as Lovejuice out of his jacket pocket to show Lydia. She turned red & rolled her eyes. "The guy though if I acted like a Cupid I'd have a *snort* change of heart. All of which lead to me getting some of our "friends" to fall "in love"."
"I'm getting a "morally wrong" vibe from this story, BJ."
"Ah shucks Babes, ya know me so well! See I pranked a few of em."
"Beej."
"I know, not my brightest moment." His head started glowing so he smacked his nose to turn it off. "Anyway, so Cu-piss is mad & threatens me that you'll fall for some breather, turns me into a human teenager." He paused to gag a little. "Next thing I know I'm a young breather tryin' ta keep ya from a literal life-changing moment and I end up getting a smooch on the cheek. Cu-puddle says I learned ta appreciate our friendship, my love fer ya, and then he takes yer memories of the incident!" Beetle practically shouts at her. "Told ya: NOT my fault!"
"I think there were a lot of thing you were at fault for, Beej." He went to protest so she put a finger on his lips. "But admitting that you love me as your friend is not one of them." Lydia smiled at him, and tilting her head she removed his finger having successfully flabbergasted the ghost into silence.
Not for long though.
"I accidentally hooked up my brother with Brewster."
"Beetlejuice!" Thrice spoken his name's magic kicked in and the Ghost with the Most disappeared back to the Neitherworld.
He reappeared in his un-living room, sitting on his own worn termite-eaten coffee table. Slouching with his head on his hand Beetlejuice simply let the shock of everything wash over him. He didn't think too much on the "switcheroo" that Cupid pulled on him, grateful even, that Lydia wouldn't hate him for the rest of his days.
Then he thought of their kiss.
He heart beat out of his chest while the house turned an obnoxious shade of pink, and for a moment the ghost legit thought he turned back into his love-obsessed counterpart. Shaking off the feeling he got up and floated up to his room. There he found the mirror that looked into his love-of-his-Afterlife's world.
"Powers That Be, he better explain everything when I call his butt back!" Lydia gently set her head on the backrest. "First Jacques & Ginger announce their relationship, then the odd romance …happened… between of all ghosts Donny, and Claire who I still can't believe is dead." She sighted. "And no the fruits of my own …love." Lydia closed her eyes as her breathing evened out; standing she went after one of her workbooks. "Tenderly I grow love in the dark room of my heart. When I can't let the thought of him be…" She mouthed part of the poem she started writing down.
"…Oh how my life is turned into the rule of three!" She laughed at the quirk in her fate as her future lover watched on.
…
Meanwhile at the Shocking Mall…
…
Staring into her eyes Donny didn't notice how his surrounding changed, or the way time slowed to a stop. The only thing he could recall from the moment was the pressure of pink lips on his own. Then a jolt of pain shot through his heart as the world seemed to pop & fizzle around him.
He didn't pull away.
His hands wrapped her up in a tight embrace as he compressed his lips to Claire's. Her head tilted so he could fit his mouth over hers better as his soul seemed to sink into her own. It was like he was attaching himself to her, a connection he knew he couldn't or wouldn't want to break. It was at this point he felt her knees began to shake so he dipped her, changing the kiss, deepening it.
Donny's soul roared & churned mimicking the fire dancing around them as they slowly tied themselves together. The blaze picked up, yet he was untouched by the Heat. As the fire it swirled around them Donny was vaguely aware of their surroundings: making out in the middle of a mall. He did care but didn't want to stop either, even with his upbringing & personal morals raged a battle in his head. Yet slowly his modesty won out as Donny tried to force his body to pull away from his hot-headed lover.
Claire was having none of it.
She pulled him back down onto her lips, her polished nails digging into the back of his partially shaved head. Pushing her body against his, Claire tightened the curtain of fire. She exhausted his senses between her touch & Heat. It was then that Donny knew he had to do something to dispel her magic. The only problem was that his heart didn't have the desire to. The younger Juice felt like kissing her for the rest of his afterlife, and he would end up un-living a considerably long time having been careful with the use of his vouchers. He was, after all, only a little over six hundred – just like his brother.
Thinking of Beetlejuice was like having cold water dumped on him.
'A split moment of claire-ity.' Donny could almost hear his brother saying the pun. Using his new found will power, he pushed Claire back enough so he could disunite from their sudden passionate make out session. Watching as her wide blue eyes opened in shock, the fire dying immediately, and before Claire could get angry or come at him again, Donny scooped her up in his arms. He felt determined to move somewhere more private; finally truly aware of what he realized had been a rather public display of affection.
"Donny…?" Claire watched him with growing anticipation, noting that he only seemed to have his eyes set on her; the light green meeting dark blue. Closing her eyes she let him kiss her one last time before blinking out of the Mall. The rush of emotion & sudden topsy-turvy feeling meant Claire didn't know if it was for the good or the bad. Donny's chilled lips had slowly been working over hers as they traveled with his Juice, and when ended up reforming it was in house she didn't recognize. Finally pulling away from her, Donny's face began turning darker shades of red-violet.
"O-Oh m-m-my Golly-Goodness!" Donny quickly put Claire down and proceeded to jump two feet away from her. "P-Please don't get the w-wrong- i-it is NOT my i-intent- I-I s-simple d-didn't think-"
"Like, it no problem, DJ." Claire put her hands out in a placating gesture. "Like, where are we though?"
His face paled, the color literally draining out of his body into a comical puddle on the floor.
"Donnyjuice?" She asked once more narrowing her eyes, then wanting to roll them as the color shot right back up his face glowing dark red at her use of his full name.
"M-My h-h-house…"
"Oh, like, what better place than to start a relationship?" Claire laughed confidently, finally feeling comfortable with the way her new after-life was headed.
…
Neitherworld Court House.
…
Cupid was done.
This was the point in his afterlife where he hung up his wings. The one love he'd been chasing since what felt like forever disappeared in front of his eyes. Nero ended up laughing, in a hysteric way, he realized that in his attempts to peruse his own selfish love he had failed the Cupids Calling: Never mess with the AUTHOR.
The LEAD arrow was never meant for Beetlejuice.
Although, perhaps he really was blind when it came to the distinction of silver looking arrows, or more likely, his Boss realized what he had been planning from the beginning. That didn't mean there wasn't leeway for random love to happen, the Ghost with the Most Idiocy seen to that one with his brother's match-up on the blotched love L.I. S.T.
Not even his Boss had predicted that love story.
One long drag of his stogie later, he kicked back on one of the slides in the "Recess Room". Of course he would fulfill her last wish, go & tell the decrepit Hanging Judge that his defendant had jumped ship towards whatever awaited them on the other-other side. He looked over at where she had last stood, the swing no longer in motion, and noticed a small white envelope on the seat.
Curious, Cupid floated over to investigate.
Written in Juno's distinct handwriting was the name: Beetlejuice.
Once more a small silly-sinister smile split across Cupid's adorable cherubim face. The SOUL of the late emperor Nero would indeed move on from this realm by forfeiting his status as a Cupid. By doing so, he would face his fate on the Other Side, but he would go confident in knowing that as he handed the letter over to Judge Mental he would have the last laugh.
He always did.
…
Fin
The Best Friends Deal
I, Lydia Joyce Deetz of sound mind, body, and soul here by strike a bargain with the ghost known as Betelgeuse in order to become best friends. As such, I Lydia Joyce Deetz promise to let one, Betelgeuse set free into the Realworld by saying the second parties name three times. In exchange, Betelgeuse must offer Lydia Joyce Deetz the same opportunity to travel to the Neitherworld via his magic:
Thou I know I should be wary,
Still I venture someplace scary,
Ghostly hauntings I turn loose,
(Second parties name is spoken three times).
Both parties shall adhere by the following stipulations, and if any are broken, severe punishment (the one thing the accused party absolutely hates and picked out by the abused) will be brought upon if this rule is not followed or exploited.
Being "best friends" does notmean: sexual partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, nor does it insinuate either party being in a relationship of any kind. Definition of Friend: a person who is known well and is fond of; an ally, a supporter, or a sympathizer.
No sexual comments, fornication, actions, or innuendos shall be stated or acted upon while in the same vicinity of one another. Consensual touching consists of 'safe' appropriate areas.
No smoking or drinking within the presence of minors.
No propositions of marriage – of any kind.
No kissing, unless it's used to save someone's life.
No cursing, this means all vulgar and offensive language, in any language – including Morse code, while in the hearing range or close proximity of either party.
No threatening to harm family or friends of either party; absolutely no action upon threats if thought up or heard by other people.
When out in either the Neitherworld or the Realworld both parties will do their best to stay incognito and not let it slip that they have a deal to travel between worlds; if found out by accident the situation will be dealt with when it arises.
Clean Clause: if in any moment of Beetlejuice's Afterlife should he decide to "clean up" his moral act the Blood Wax of Bonding shall disappear. Yet, should he go back to his un-clean moral ways during the time of the contract so shall the Blood wax return to his person.
Death Age Loophole: if Lydia Joyce Deetz dies before the age of Beetlejuice, thirty-seven, or lives to be the same age, then the contract shall no longer affect either party; becoming null.
Blood Wax of Bonding: a wax made from the "blood" of both parties that binds Beetlejuice's Juice & said contract to the contractor's soul.
Neither party will try to find a way out of this contract or to abuse any unseen loop-holes.