I'm not dead! Just lazy! ;; More will be added soon, I promise.

I don't own KH II, The Little Prince or SexyBack.

Stupid

The sound of pages being turned filled the cavernous, empty library as Saïx read a book on his favorite velvet couch.

Okay, so the book happened to be a French children's book, The Little Prince, but he still liked to read it time and time again.

As he lay on his stomach reading about how the narrator landed, a sudden increase of weight pressed his lower back into the couch cushions. He turned as much as the sudden weight gain would allow to face what caused the added bulk, which turned out to be a certain grey haired young man.

"Zexion, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

This inquiry went unanswered, as the Cloaked Schemer listening to SexyBack on his iPod at a very loud volume. Saïx did what any other person would do to gain someone's attention: he elbowed him in the ribs.

I have a strong feeling that everybody reading this has done this before, and should now be nodding heir heads like, "Yeah, I have don't that before…!" If you say you haven't, then you're fucking lying. Stop it. It's not a good thing to do.

Anyway, Saïx elbowed Zexion sharply in the ribs, finally gaining the attention from the young man that he wanted.

"Ow! What the hell? Can't a guy sit on a couch and listen to music in peace anymore?!" Zexion said angrily, gently rubbing his side.

"Not when you're sitting on someone else, you can't," Saïx retorted sharply before returning to his book. Zexion took out one ear bud and leaned to look over Saïx's shoulder, much to the Luna Diviner's annoyance.

"Get. Off. Me. That hurts," Saïx growled, steadily getting closer to going berserk on Zexion's ass. Zexion, apparently thoroughly enjoying the fact that he was pissing Saïx off, asked in a totally out-of-character sing-song voice, "What'cha reading?"

Saïx wanted to get rid of Zexion as quickly as possible, so he answered curtly, "The Little Prince." Instead of going away after receiving the short, annoyed answer, it spurred No. VI to talk more.

"Isn't that a French children's story? For like, little kids?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That's pretty stupid, a 23 year old reading a book intended for two to seven year olds."

Saïx slammed his book down and twisted to face a smirking Zexion, who was still sitting on his now aching back.

"It most certainly is NOT as stupid as you listening to SexyBack!" Saïx said defensively.

"I bet you can't even say 'stupid' in French," Zexion challenged, his smirk widening as he folded his arms, watching Saïx with amusement.

"I can so! 'Stupide'!" Saïx said triumphantly.

"How about German?" Zexion asked.

"Dumm."

"Spanish?"

"Estúpide."

"Italian?"

"Stupido."

"…Russian?"

"глупый(1)"

"Damn," Zexion said, very impressed. Saïx wore a proud smile and folded his arms.

"Well then, Mr. Languages, figure out what I'm about to say, and give me an answer in the same language." Zexion challenged again.

"Sure…" Saïx was wary of Zexion's plan, unsure of what he was going to say. That is, until Zexion's whole body was pressed on top of his. He could feel the Cloaked Schemer's warm breath in his ear as he whispered, "Aurez-vous le sexe avec moi?(2)"

Saïx's eyes widened significantly, not because he didn't know what it means, but because he was extremely turned on by it. He answered with a sly smile on his face, "L'enfer ouais.(3)"

"That night, if one passed by the No. VII's room, one could hear SexyBack blasting through the speakers over the sounds of bedsprings creaking.

Author's Notes:

(1) (If the characters don't show, that's not my fault) Do not ask me how to say this, I have absolutely no idea.

(2)"Will you have sex with me?"

(3)"Hell yeah."