Tw: Explicit scenes, emotional scenes, some violence.
Carla's mind woke before her eyes opened. She was so comfortable, so warm, wrapped up in soft sheets that caressed her bare skin as she stretched luxuriously. Every single muscle in her body seemed relaxed, she felt weightless. Her hair tickled her cheek as she turned her head to the side, finally allowing her eyes to flicker open.
Sat up in the space next to her, leaning against the headboard, Michelle was wrapped in her silk dressing gown with a laptop balanced on her lap. The soft glow of the screen illuminated her features; the slight crease of her brow, curve of her nose, the way her lips were pursed in concentration as she used her fingertip to scroll down whatever page she was looking at. She watched the way her lower lip suddenly curled inward as she caught it between her teeth, her dark eyes scanning the screen as she read. A small smile crept across Carla's lips, warmth radiating in her chest as she reached out, lightly placing her hand on top of Michelle's. The other woman's gaze left the bright screen almost instantly and, catching the adoring smile that was spread across the older brunettes lips, she returned it, lacing her fingers through Carla's.
"Morning, you. How long have you been awake?" The slight huskiness in her voice due to her sleepy state caused the hair on the back of Michelle's neck to stand.
"Only about an hour." She murmured, brushing her thumb against their entwined hands. "You looked peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."
"What've you been doing?" Holding the sheets against her frame as she sat up, she shuffled closer to the other woman, resting her head against her shoulder. "You're looking flats?"
Pictures of questionably furnished living rooms were plastered across the glowing screen; Carla's eyes settled on a particularly grotesque looking floral sofa and she scrunched her nose up.
"Well, I need to find somewhere to live don't I? This isn't my home." Michelle bit her lip, using the hand that wasn't connecting to Carla's to press the arrow key, scrolling by a few more properties.
"There's an apartment the floor above this one that's going free." Carla informed her.
"I can't afford a place like this alone. Whose living over the kebab shop, now?"
"Ugh, no, you can't live there even if it is free. You said the smell drifted up and made you sick. You don't have to live on your own, you know?" Carla shrugged, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I've got to leave Roy's at some point haven't I?"
Michelle glanced across at her.
"You mean...move in together again?" She looked somewhat shocked and Carla's she widened, suddenly realising what she might have insinuated.
"Well, I mean- we did before and-I don't mean- I'm not trying to rush anything I just meant sort of... Well, kind of like flat mates? But not... I mean we could have separate rooms or- oh, god, we haven't half complicated things."
To her surprise and relief, Michelle burst out laughing, having been watching the older woman stumble and choke on her words with a bemused expression on her face, her eyebrows raised. She was still chuckling as she turned her head to press a quick kiss against the side of Carla's.
"Calm down, Carla, I knew what you meant." She grinned, earning herself a gentle nudge from the other brunette. "I think it's a great idea."
"Yeah?" Carla's eyes lit up, a pleased smile spreading across her lips.
"Yes. I'm just shocked we didn't think about it sooner, really. It makes sense, we've pretty much been living together since...well, everything happened. Plus it means I only have to drag all of my things up another floor."
"Well then, we can ring and ask about it later. That's flat hunting sorted." Letting go of Michelle's hand, she placed her fingertips against the lid of the laptop and closed it slowly. She slid it from the other woman's knees and carefully set it down on the floor; her leg hooking over Michelle's lap as she moved to straddle the other woman. Wrapping both arms around her neck, the sheet she'd previously been wrapped up in slid from her body. The muscles in Michelle's throat rippled as she swallowed hard, her eyes meeting Carla's.
The older woman leant forward until their foreheads lightly bumped.
"Hey, you..." Michelle murmured, tilting her head to capture the other woman's lips in a slow kiss, the tip of her tongue lightly grazing against a full, lower one, causing Carla to let out a quiet hum of approval.
"Last night..." The younger woman whispered against her lips, grazing her fingertips down the smooth expanse of Carla's back as she spoke. "It was okay, wasn't it?"
"Okay?" Carla laughed incredulously, her breath hitching when the other brunette's hand stroked across her side, the pad of her thumb rubbing light circles against her hipbone. "'Chelle, it was amazing. You were amazing. You knew exactly what I wanted."
Grinning at the blush that coloured Michelle's cheeks, she reconnected their lips and kissed her again, shuffling back slightly so she could guide the younger woman down against the pillows.
"Well you certainly seem to know what you want this morning." Michelle teased, responding eagerly against the other woman's mouth, humming in satisfaction when Carla lightly nibbled her lower one.
"Hmm...And I always get what I want."
"Is that so?"
Carla's body tensed; Michelle's hand was lightly grazing down the crease of her inner thigh. A coil tightened in her stomach. Her eyes fluttered shut.
"Carla," Michelle whispered, her other hand reaching up, pushing the older woman's hair, which had been tickling her cheeks, out of the way so she could see her face. She cupped her cheek, stroking her thumb over her brow bone. Leaning in to deliver a soft kiss to her lips, she raised her head slightly from the pillow, following along Carla's jawline before she reached her ear; Michelle nipped her earlobe lightly, breathing into it: "Show me what you want."
She felt Carla shift her body, grip her wrist, felt the delicate skin against her fingertips, heard the sharp gasp that left the other woman's lips as they were suddenly enveloped in heat. The older brunette rolled her hips once, her eyes screwing shut as she bit back the groan that was trying to work its way from the back of her throat.
"Look at me." The other woman's eyes opened, intense green bore into her own. So many memories surfaced to the from of Michelle's mind at the others woman's blazed look; how soft her voice had been the first time she'd called her baby, the way her arms comforted her each time she'd offered her a place to stay after another heartbreak, telling her she was perfect, the woman had even bought her a pub, nothing seemed too much. So many acts of love, it seemed obvious now they should partake in this one together. "Don't you dare hold back."
Carla's grip left her wrists, both of her hands falling either side Michelle's body as she rocked and gasped, entwining her fingertips in the sheets beneath them. Her head dipped, deep brown locks falling around her face once more, hiding her from view, but the younger woman reached out to tip her chin once more, pulling her in for a passionate kiss.
She could feel the vibrations from the quiet whimpers that Carla couldn't keep back against her mouth as their tongues brushed together. Michelle's hand was now tangled in the other woman's dark locks, keeping her close as they continued to kiss fiercely, nipping at one another's lips.
"'Chelle," A sharp cry left Carla's lips as her hips bore down against Michelle, her body moving with more urgency, pushing down against the heel of the other woman's hand. "'Chelle, please."
"I know," The younger woman whispered, catching her chin once more, their lips barely grazing. Carla's breath was hot and heavy against her face. "Just stay with me a second."
The older brunette opened her eyes, it was clear she was making an extreme effort to keep them in focus. Her skin was shining with perspiration, her cheeks pink, hair damp at the roots and now staying in place where Michelle has pushed it back from her face.
"I can't take my eyes off you, like this. You're a whole new level of beautiful."
Carla's eyes filled with tears, part emotion, part desperation, her breath leaving her in heavy, erratic gasps.
"I love you so much." Michelle whispered, keeping her eyes fixed on the woman above her, preparing herself to soak up as much of the moment as she could as she curled her fingers.
The effect was instantaneous. Her body dropped against Michelle's and she screamed into her shoulder, biting down against her skin in a way that might have bordered on painful, if it hadn't sent such a thrill of excitement down the younger woman's spine. One of the older brunettes hands had flown above the both of them, grasping hold of the headboard, the other finding purchase once more around Michelle's wrist, holding her in place as she spasmed against the onslaught of pleasure that was tearing through her body.
Michelle ran her hand through Carla's hair, trailing her fingertips down her back, rubbing across her skin affectionately as she trembled against her, murmuring incoherently into her shoulder. She was able to wrap both arms firmly around the older woman when she finally released her; still quivering as her hand dropped from the headboard, her cheek hot against Michelle's chest when she laid against the younger woman.
She lay for a moment, catching her breath, her muscles still twitching as Michelle's fingertips continued to glide against her skin, it seemed every nerve ending was still over sensitised to even the lightest of the other woman's touch. Her own hand grazed over Michelle's stomach, sliding the dressing gown even either apart, beginning to press heavy, open-mouthed kisses against her skin. The younger woman's breath hitched, a soft whimper escaping from her throat. Carla allowed the tip of her tongue to poke out from between her lips, tracing a slow, wet line over the swell of her chest. The younger woman's back arched, her hand tangling and tightening in Carla's hair.
Even with Michelle's breath heavy in her ears, there was no mistaking the sound of the apartment door slamming. Flying apart, Carla placed her finger over her lips as they both froze, listening to the footsteps in the kitchen.
"Ryan?" Michelle called out tentatively, wriggling from underneath Carla and quickly tugging her dressing gown tight around her body. "Ry! Is that you?"
A pained groan came from the opposite direction, her sons gruff voice calling out in annoyance. "Mum, no offence man but if I get out of this bed I'll throw up so unless it catches fire, I'm not leaving it."
Heart thumping in her chest, Michelle jumped up and approached the bedroom door, slowly tugging it open.
"I'm sorry, I needed my uniform..."
He looked cleaner this time. He'd shaved, dressed in jeans and a shirt, looked like he'd gotten enough sleep. There was a small white strip across his nose, his eyes still heavily bruised. Swallowing her fear, she opened her mouth to speak up, but he beat her to it.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did, Michelle. I know you probably hate me and I don't blame you, I mean the whole street hates me. I just have to fight off Steve-" He broke off, noticing the fear still evident in her eyes. The bruise on her face still marred her skin.
"I'm sober and I'm clean. I've been staying with a different friend. I've spoken to a Doctor. I'm getting help and I'm going back to work..."
Still unable to speak, Michelle gave a small nod, folding her arms across her chest. She suddenly felt oddly vulnerable stood in front of the man in only her dressing gown. Robert bit his lip, looking as nervous as the brunette woman felt.
"Did I wake you?"
Glancing down at her attire, she shook her head, speaking for the first time.
"No, I've been up a while. I've...uh, I think I've found somewhere else to live. I'm going to sort it as soon as Aidan's funeral-" Her words got caught in her throat, she couldn't complete the sentence.
Cautiously, as though approaching a frightened animal, Robert took a couple of steps closer, his eyes shining with sympathy. "If you still want your job..."
Michelle's eyes snapped up to meet his.
"I can keep it?"
"It's the least I can offer you. Did you know we're in the paper this morning?"
"We?" Michelle frowned, confused.
"Well, the Bistro." He shrugged, shuffling his feet slightly. "We're not front page or anything, but there's a section in there about how much everyone enjoyed the live band night you organised. I'm hoping that it's something you'd be able to help out with again in the future?"
Nodding once more, Michelle glanced down awkwardly at the carpet. When she looked up again, the man was much closer in proximity, causing her to jump back in shock.
"Michelle," He sighed softly, reaching out to place his hands on her upper arms, lightly stroking against the silk they were clad in. "I truly am sorry for what I put you through. I know it's not an excuse, but my intention was never to do that to you."
"I know," She whispered, hating herself for how her voice shook. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze and continued. "I know you didn't. And I wasn't the one who told Steve, or the rest of the street."
"You had every right to, you could have gone to the police. I'd have deserved it."
Again, Michelle wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to this, so she decided to divert the topic of conversation.
"You said you needed your uniform?"
"Yeah, I did message you. I thought if you knew I needed to come around then you could avoid seeing me, if you'd wanted to."
Michelle was shocked at the small pang of guilt that settled in her stomach as it dawned on her the exact reason why she hadn't glanced at her phone that morning. She tried to shake the feeling off, she knew she'd done nothing wrong. Robert misconstrued her silence. His hands moved from her arms to cup her face, tears forming in his eyes as his thumb grazed just below the bruise he'd caused her.
"I know I've behaved unforgivably," He whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek as he took in her face. "But I would never do that again. Ever. Michelle, I still love-"
"Get your hands off her."
The pair of them whipped around. Having thrown her night shirt over her frame, Carla was meant against the door, a thunderous look in her eyes as she regarded the man stood over Michelle with nothing but disgust. Robert dropped his hands as though scalded, Carla could almost see the cogs whirring in his brain as he regarded both of the women, his face screwing up in confusion.
"What're you doing here?"
"She didn't want to wake Roy. Last night finished late." Michelle answered before Carla could. The older brunette raised her eyebrow at her, but she merely shook her head in response. "Robert go and get what you need..."
Narrowing her eyes as the man passed her, Carla walked over to Michelle, eyeing her questioningly.
"What the hell was that?" She hissed, throwing a backwards glance towards the bedroom, listening to the man rattling around the furniture.
"He came back for more of his work stuff." Michelle shrugged, still in a state of shock. She'd expected to be scared, even angry, but she couldn't work out how she was feeling. There hadn't been a spark of any sort when she'd stared up into his eyes, there was a hint of sadness in her chest for what it had dwindled down to.
"Why was he touching you? Was he threatening?"
The younger brunette shook her head again, perching on the arm of the sofa, chewing on her bottom lip.
"Do you still love him?"
Before she could answer, he came sauntering out of the bedroom with a bag over his shoulder, nodding to Michelle.
"This should keep me going until the end of the week. Unless you want to change anything, the rota can stay the same?" He offered, purposely avoiding Carla's gaze. Neither of them had forgotten their previous altercation. At Michelle's nod, he gave her a small smile. "Maybe we could talk properly when you're next in? You know, privately."
Carla scoffed.
"Like she's going to be going anywhere alone with you."
"I'm not being funny, but this isn't your business, Carla." Robert suddenly snapped, throwing a venomous glare in her direction. His actions caused the fear to ignite slightly in Michelle's chest.
"I'm making it my business when it concerns the safety of my- my best friend." The older brunette didn't seem fazed my his anger at all. In fact, she reached down and defiantly took Michelle's hand, lacing their fingers together.
"Best friend? You waited until she was at her most vulnerable to sink your claws into her."
"Hey, I've got my own mind! And she didn't sink her claws into me. She's been here for me." Michelle instantly jumped to Carla's defence and it sent a wave of warmth throughout the older brunette's chest.
"So there is something going on? I mean a one night stand I could maybe get my head around, but this-"
"Is none of your business!" Carla cut across him, firing up instantly, despite Michelle squeezing her hand in protest. "And don't you dare try and cheapen what she means to me because you have no idea."
"Come off it, Carla, you weren't there for her like I was! When you'd shacked up in Devon without a care in the world. You only came back because you needed a new kidney."
The raw cruelty of his words stung the air around them, the older brunettes eyes sparking with anger. She was shaking, wondering how on Earth someone so vile had managed to worm his way into a heart as kind and beautiful as the woman beside her, who now had her hand in a vice like grip.
"Do you want to know what I was here for? I was here when you raised your fist and hit my best friend in the face!" She let go of Michelle's hand and fearlessly strode up to him, pointing her finger at him warningly. "Now I have no idea why Michelle saved your business, but you'd better thank your lucky stars that she did." Carla's tone dropped dangerously, her lip curling menacingly as she growled at him through gritted teeth. "She's willing to work past it, for the sake of your business, for the sake of not bringing anymore trouble to you. But you hurt the person I love most in this world and I am never going to forgive you for that. I'm not happy she still wants to work with you, however I respect her decision and I'm going to support her, so let me tell you: if I find out you've caused her even an ounce of unnecessary upset, I'll be finding more pieces of you to break. Pieces you didn't even know could break. Now take your stuff and get the hell out."
They glared at one another, Carla's eyes were narrowed, as though daring him to defy her. Heaving his bag over his shoulder, he tore his eyes away from the brunette woman in front of him and settled them on Michelle, his expression softened but still determined.
"I am sorry. And I will fight for you, I know we haven't lost what we had."
"You'll have a fight in a minute if you don't sling your hook." Ryan's voice sounded from where he was leaning against the doorframe, causing both Michelle and Carla to jump.
"Don't worry, I'm leaving." Robert murmured, turning his back on the trio and heading towards the door.
"Why didn't you tell me he'd turned up? I'd have got out of bed for that!"
Michelle didn't answer, her dark eyes had glazed over with tears and spilled down her cheeks. Carla sighed gently, walking over to the younger woman, kissing the side of her head before wrapping her up in a soothing hug.
"It's okay, it's okay baby," She murmured softly, rocking her as she ran her fingers through silky hair.
"Did he hurt her?" Ryan asked, looking relieved when Carla shook her head over Michelle's shoulder.
"No, he had a go at me but I gave him what-for."
"Good on you," He yawned, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth. Michelle's son looked pale, his hair was sticking up in off directions, eyes slightly out of focus. Carla had the distinct feeling he hadn't quite gotten over the effects of the alcohol from the night before.
"Ryan, go back to bed. I've got enough on with the factory and looking after your mum without having to clean up your vomit."
He didn't need telling twice, although he assured the two women that if they needed anything, to give him a shout. Carla took a step back from Michelle and cupped her cheeks, meeting her teary gaze.
"Are you okay?"
The younger woman shrugged, leaning against the back of the sofa. "I don't know."
"Michelle." The use of her full name caught her attention, Carla looked scared suddenly, her eyes glassy, her lips pressed together as she inhaled through her nose deeply, preparing herself to speak again. "Michelle, do you still love Robert? Because if-if you do...If this isn't what you want- I won't fight to win you, you're not some first place prize at a fair; you're this amazing, incredible woman and I'll respect whatever you choose, whoever-" The words caught in her throat, her lower lip trembling slightly. She was gazing at the floor, unable to look her in the face. Wrought with nerves, her hands twisted together in front of her, terrified of hearing the answer.
"It scares me," Michelle whispered, her voice shaking. "How much I don't feel for him anymore. We had a whole future planned and now there's just nothing there." She reached down and pulled apart Carla's tangled hands, holding them gently in her own. "What scares me more is how deeply I feel for you."
The older woman glanced up, the worry that had clouded her features ebbing away somewhat.
"Did you really think there was even a chance I'd want anyone else, now? After what just happened between us?"
Carla bit her lip, taking a step closer to the younger woman. Leaving one hand entwined with hers, she let the other go so that she could curl her fingertips around Michelle's neck, grazing her thumb over the area just below her ear. "I just thought... You didn't seem keen on telling him about us..."
"That's only because we haven't told our family yet. After he caught us the other day, I didn't want to risk upsetting him further."
It made sense, Carla could see that, but the uncertainty that had fogged in forest green eyes hadn't completely cleared.
"Stop doubting me and stop doubting yourself. You're not an 'option', Carla, you're the only person I want to be with." Closing the remainder of the gap between them, Michelle leant forward and kissed her gently. Carla responded tentatively, holding the younger woman's lower lip between her own as they lingered against one another. "We'll tell people," Michelle whispered, her breath warm against the other woman's face. "After the funeral, after everyone has had a chance to clear their heads."
IXIXIXI
Sandwiched between Kate and Maria in the Bistro, Michelle hadn't touched her drink, or the plate of food Maria had got her. She hardly thought a stale sausage roll and a handful of crisps was going to subdue the fact that she'd just buried another member of her family.
The morning of Aidan's funeral had dawned as dull and grey as the sadness that settled in Michelle's chest. Carla hadn't even been in bed when she'd opened her eyes. She knew the older woman was stressed, but she hadn't sat with her during the service and now she seemed to have disappeared altogether. Her other son hadn't even turned up. The feeling that people were suddenly disappearing was causing panic to burn in the back of her throat. She had half a mind to get up and leave, everyone else seemed to have. Glancing around to see where the hell her other son had gotten to, she was started to see a blur of black advancing towards the table.
"Mum! Mum, you better come outside. It's Carla and Alya." Ryan skidded to a halt in front of the booth she was sat in with Kate and Maria, his tone urgent.
The three women exchanged looks, before scrambling from their seats and hurrying towards the exit. It wasn't a pretty sight. Out on the street, halfway between the Factory and Bistro, Carla and Alya were locked in a violent tussle. The older woman had the younger in a complicated headlock, her fist grasping a handful of her hair.
"How could you do that! Today of all days you devious little bitch!" The older woman fumed, proceeding to drag her further away from the factory; both of them stumbling on the cobbled path.
"Get off me you mad cow!" The insult only made Carla tug harder on her hair, both of them stumbling slightly on the cobbles as they struggled. Twisting free, Alya managed to aim a slap across the older woman's cheek with a resounding crack. In retaliation, Carla launched at her again, the two of them falling to the floor where she straddled the supposed new factory owner and raised her fist, about to deliver a swift smack to the other woman.
"No! Carla stop it!"
Finding herself suddenly seized around the waist, she felt a tug which pulled her back from Alya; Kate and Michelle had grasped hold of her and were attempting to pull the women apart. In a bid to help, Maria was helping Alya to her feet, catching her shoulder should she try and go for Carla again.
"Let me go! I'm going to finish her!" The older brunette screamed, struggling madly against Kate's grip.
"Carla, stop it. She's not worth it!" Michelle tried to reason with her, though it appeared she hadn't even heard her.
"She changed the locks on my Factory!"
"What?" Michelle looked outraged, a split second of madness had her wondering whether or not to just let Carla go again.
"The Factory is mine now, Carla. And I'm not scared of you. So do your worst."
The other woman's face was red with fury, her teeth bared menacingly as she let out a growl of frustration; finally breaking herself free from her younger sisters hold, she lunged for Alya again. This time, it was Ryan who stepped in and grabbed hold of her, outranking her strength despite her protest.
"Don't do anything you'll regret, Aunty Carla. Come on just walk away."
"You come near me again and I'll knock that smug look from your face permanently!" She shouted over her nephews shoulder, panting heavily as she watched Alya turn back towards the Factory, swinging the new keys victoriously between her fingers. Only when Alya was safely inside Underworld did Ryan finally let Carla go. She tugged the blazer she was wearing firmly around herself, brushing dirt from the sleeves and straightening the collar.
"Come on, let's get you home." Michelle approached the older woman cautiously, eyeing the pink hand mark that was imprinted on her cheek. She tried to place her arm around Carla's shoulder, but she shrugged it off huffily, snatching her bag from Kate who had picked it up from the floor.
The short journey back to the flat didn't seem to calm her even slightly. Carla threw her bag into the table and let out a frustrated cry, talking more to herself than anyone else about how she was going to go back out there and strangle Alya.
"Look I know how you feel but this isn't the way to get what you want." Michelle tried to reason with the furious brunette, whose eyes flashed dangerously, anger setting green hues alight.
"And what do you propose I do? Roll over and let her take what I've spent practically a decade building up?" Pushing a hand through her hair in stress, she paced around the kitchen area, rage radiating in her chest.
"No of course not, but flying at her all guns blazing in the middle of the street won't do any good-"
"-And how do you know what'll do any good and what won't?" She snapped, rounding on the other woman. "You don't know about business, you don't care about it, you-"
"Don't you dare tell me I don't care about the factory!" Michelle stormed, firing up instantly at the accusation. "I used my own wedding fund to pay your staff so I could keep that place afloat while you were in L.A."
"Oh give over, you we're saving your own skin as much as mine, you walked out in the end didn't you?"
The younger brunettes mouth fell open disbelievingly, too hurt at the comment to rationalise the fact that Carla was clearly lashing out because she was upset herself.
"Walked out? I was pushed out! Because despite everything I'd done, your fella was more important!"
"Oh for Gods sake, Michelle!" The older brunette shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration. She froze. She'd caught it even though the younger woman had tried to hide it. As soon as her hands had flown out, Michelle had flinched, jumping back, shoulders tensing as though bracing herself for a blow. Carla's eyes widened, horrified at the accidental insinuation.
"'Chelle...I wouldn't...You know I wouldn't," Her voice was suddenly softer, desperate, as she took a step towards the other woman, who looked just as shocked at her own actions. Reaching out, she tried to catch Michelle's hand but the younger brunette stepped back, picking up her own bag from the table.
"Don't. I'm going to go to work."
Feeling guilt settle in the pit of her stomach, she watched Michelle abruptly turn and leave the apartment, blinking back tears as the door slammed shut.
IXIXIXI
Looking throughly miserable and perched on a stool at the bar in the Rovers Return, Carla swilled the remaining dregs of red wine around the bottom of her glass, a heavy sigh leaving her lips. Shoulders slumped, she had one elbow resting on the bar, her face pressed against her hand. Michelle hasn't answered any of her messages and she was sure the younger woman didn't want to see her. She'd called into the Bistro first, only to be informed by Daniel that the other woman was busy solving a crisis in the kitchen. He'd looked somewhat shifty as he told her; she had a feeling that the only problem Michelle had was with her.
"Well you look as bad as I feel. How's your face?" Ryan's voice jolted her from her thoughts and she turned to face him, looking completely dejected. "You and her are like carbon copies." He added with a chuckle, taking a seat next to her.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean she's slumped over the bar across the road looking all lost and forlorn."
"We had a row," Carla mumbled, draining the droplets in her glass before nodding to Sarah, signalling she'd like another. "Oh, and whatever Ry's having."
"You don't say." Sarcasm dripped from his words as he spoke. "And I'll just have a lemonade, thanks. I feel a bit rough, I had a skinful last night."
Carla took a large gulp of her drink the moment it was placed in front of her; her head was already starting to swim.
"You both ought to sign up for the Community Centre's 'Amateur Dramatics' classes, you'd give Angelina Jolie a run for her money. Talk about a pair of drama Queens."
She couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth at his words, letting out a quiet laugh before turning to face him.
"You're so much like her, aren't you? All that sass and sarcasm." Carla grinned, reaching over to give him a gentle prod in the shoulder. He looked pleased at the statement, though tried to hide his smile by taking a drink from his glass.
"Yeah, well," He shrugged, setting it back down on the bar when he'd finished. "Just don't get us confused and start making eyes across me at the table."
"What?" The brunette woman froze, feeling the air leave her lungs.
"Oh, come on. I've seen the way you look at her."
"What're you talking about?"
The man raised his eyebrow.
"You're not fooling me, I've seen you fall for enough of my relatives. The glances, the smiles, holding hands; you never put her down. I mean you've spent every night at mum's flat since that loser-"
"It's not- I'm not-" She could feel panic rising hotly in her chest, burning the back of her throat. "She's my best friend." Carla finished stupidly, as though that was a sufficient enough explanation. They should have been more careful, she should have been more careful. Of course he'd have been bound to pick up on a few things. So caught up in her fear, she hadn't even realised that her nephew didn't seem disgusted or angry, in fact he seemed rather nonchalant about what he was suggesting.
"I mean it's fine, but the mood swings are horrendous. Picking someone as stubborn and as melodramatic as yourself-"
"I haven't picked anyone! You've got the wrong end of the stick, Ry, what you're suggesting is-"
"That I'm going senile or having hallucinations? Or was that your clone I saw kissing-"
There was a loud clatter. Carla had lunged forward and clapped her hand over his mouth, knocking over her drink in the process.
"Ryan!" She hissed, her eyes darting worriedly around the room. He smirked against her palm, his eyes alight with triumph. The brunette woman looked terrified, her hand trembling slightly as she removed it from over his mouth, completely ignoring the fact that red wine was spreading across the bar and dripping down onto the floor.
"It was when you made us breakfast. I came out of the bathroom twice. I made more noise the second time round." He answered the question she hadn't even asked.
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Carla took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart which had started to thump obnoxiously against her chest.
"You've known that long? Why are you only just mentioning this now?"
"Because it's not my business, it's yours." He explained, as though it was obvious. "Except when you're both like this, because your misery is catching and I have to live there too. For the foreseeable anyway." Her nephew was smiling again, but she was too shocked at having been discovered to return it.
"We weren't deliberately lying to anyone," She felt as though she needed to give some kind of explanation. "It's just with everything that's been happening and we didn't really know ourselves what...what we were. Are." Looking worried, she took another quick scan of the room, making sure they weren't being overheard by any of the motor mouths that usually hung around in the evenings.
"Like I said, it's your business. Just be careful, yeah? If anything happened and you couldn't even be friends anymore, I don't think she'd get over it. Or you." He finished his drink before slipping off the stool and plucking his jacket from the side. "Right, I'm off to that new 'Speed Daal' place. I saw they were hiring and if I'm sticking around, I need to be able to stand my round don't I?"
Finally noticing the mess she'd made on the bar, Carla stood her glass upright and shook the dregs of red liquid from her black leather jacket, tutting at her own clumsiness.
"Ryan, we'll talk about this okay? When we're both ready."
Her nephew gave a small nod, shuffling forward to giver her a quick, one armed hug.
"Just go across and sort out whatever it was that made you row. Life's too short, right?"
"Absolutely right. Good luck with that job!" She called, watching him leave the building, unsure whether she still felt panicked about the situation or not.
IXIXIXI
The flat was dark when Carla opened the door, the vivid blackness assaulting her vision after the bright lights of the corridor. Feeling around for the switch, she managed to bump her hip against the corner of the marble worktop, which caused a hissed curse of pain to escape her lips. Having gotten to the Bistro, she'd found she'd left it a little too late and that Daniel had sent Michelle home. Apparently she'd been upset. Of course she had, no one had wanted her to return to work that day. Assuming that Michelle had gone to bed, her heart sank a little; she really didn't want them to sleep on an argument, not when she hadn't even had the chance to apologise to the younger woman. A quiet little sniff sounded somewhere in the room and she jumped, her hand flying to the wall and grappling around for the switch once more. With the room suddenly basked in light, she saw that Michelle was on the sofa, an empty glass on the coffee table in front of her, her eyes red.
"'Chelle?" Carla approached her cautiously, taking an few tentative steps towards her. When the other woman didn't object, she took a seat next to her, slipping an arm around her quivering shoulders. "What're you doing sat alone in the dark, ey? Come here,"
Michelle allowed her to pull her against her chest and Carla pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head, holding her tighter when the woman let out a small sob.
"Hey, it's okay," She whispered, laying more kisses against her temple. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I said, for shouting at you."
"You were just lashing out because you were hurt, it's understandable."
"But not excusable. You're upset too, and 'Chelle-" She moved her hands to cup the younger woman's cheeks "-look at me, darlin' because this is so important," Pausing again, she made sure teary hazel eyes were on hers, before continuing. "I would never hurt you. You do know that, don't you?"
"I know you wouldn't," Michelle assured her, bringing her own hands to rest against the other woman's forearms; she was still holding her face, her thumb grazing lightly over the bruise on her cheek. It had faded so much that only the outer edge of it was now visible and once she'd applied her make up, it disappeared altogether. "I don't even know why I jumped like that, I knew you weren't going to hurt me. I knew. I'm sorry-"
"Hey don't you apologise, you've nothing to be sorry for. I was so vile to you." Moss green eyes glossed over with guilt, like dew costing the first leaves of spring. Hurting Michelle went against everything her heart was beating for. "I'm the one who's sorry, okay? So, so, sorry."
Michelle leant towards her, resting their foreheads together. "I know you are and you haven't hurt me. I know you didn't mean it, so please don't give yourself a hard time. You've already had enough upset today."
"I don't deserve you."
The younger woman frowned, tilting her head to the side as she regarded the woman in front of her. Letting go of her arm, she moved her hand instead to rest against her neck before leaning forward, kissing her gently. The soft cushion of Carla's lips against her own instantly loosened the fist of grief that had tightened itself around her heart. "Don't say things like that," She whispered, her fingertips lightly stroking over her skin. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Michelle felt herself being enveloped into the other woman's arms, feeling her being pulled against her chest once more as Carla leant back on the cushions, her fingertips brushing through the younger woman's hair.
"'Chelle, Ryan knows..." She murmured, so quietly that it took Michelle a few seconds to work out what she had said. "But he's okay about it."
"What?" Glancing up at Carla with wide, fearful eyes, she silently begged the other woman for more information.
"He was in the pub, that's where I went after we argued." She sighed, proceeding to explain the extent of the conversation she'd shared with her nephew. "He said it's fine, he's just worried about what might happen if we couldn't be friends anymore. Which is what we were worried about, too."
"I can't lose you." Was all Michelle offered in response, her blood running cold at the thought. "I can't be without you."
"You won't be, I promise."
But Michelle's eyes teared up once more and she shook her head, letting out a shaking breath.
"You can't promise me that," She whispered, trying to blink the moisture from her eyes. The attempt was unsuccessful and the grief spilled down her cheeks, her heart squeezing painfully once more.
Carla couldn't answer her; instead she ran a comforting hand through the younger woman's hair, her brow knitted together in distress. Tears were leaking thick and fast from Michelle's eyes, her body trembling against the older woman's as she spoke again.
"Dean, Paul, Liam, Aidan, even... even Ruairi. Everyone I love the most, just gone." Her voice cracked, each word sounding more broken than the last. "I sometimes wish that I could have them all back, our whole family back. Just for one day, to see how it could have been. If everyone was together again. I miss them so much." The younger woman was crying freely now, each sob heartbroken and painful; it almost made Carla want to cover her ears so she didn't have to listen to how much the other woman was hurting. There was nothing she could do to make it better. She allowed her own silent tears to fall, her hand moving in gentle circles against Michelle's back in an attempt to soothe her, allowing her to grieve.
"I can't make any promises to you about the future," Carla whispered, her voice hoarse, throat cramping painfully as she struggled to swallow the lump that had formed there. "I just promise to make the most of every day we spend together."
It was only natural that the younger woman would fear losing her after everything they'd been through, but the wound in Carla's chest was already so deep that she couldn't allow herself to think about hacking further into it with thoughts of losing Michelle. She was already in danger of bleeding out.
"We have to tell people, don't we?" The younger woman finally broke the silence after calming down in Carla's comforting hold. Glancing up, she saw the other woman's eyes were just as pink as her own and she stretched towards her, pressing a soothing kiss to her damp cheek. "We said after the funeral,"
"Yeah, but it doesn't have to be tomorrow, or even the day after that. We don't have to add anymore pressure to ourselves just yet, do we?" Carla murmured, stroking her fingertips down Michelle's arm. She couldn't deny her own nerves about the situation and the pair of them certainly didn't need any added stress. Completely conflicted, the knot of guilt in her stomach tightened as she realised the alternative was more secrets and lies to her family. It seemed Michelle was thinking along the same lines.
"It's got to come out sometime... If-if its what you still want? If you're sure about this?" Hazel eyes searched the green above her, checking for doubts, almost expecting them, but the older woman shook her head, her gaze fixed determinedly on Michelle's.
"It's what I want." Carla confirmed, gently guiding Michelle up towards her, wrapping her arms around her neck. "Are you scared?"
"Terrified." She admitted, lightly tapping their foreheads together. "It'll be real, won't it? And part of me is still scared to death that I'll end up losing you. I can't pretend I'm looking forward to the gossip or the comments, either. But you make me happy, Carla. I think we deserve to be, after everything."
"You think?" The older brunette let out a light chuckle, closing her eyes for a moment when Michelle's hand cupped the side of her head, stroking the pad of her thumb over her brow. "So, what do I introduce you as, now? My other half? My Significant other?"
"Partner in crime?" Michelle suggested and they both laughed, Carla's arms tightening around the other woman as she pulled her closer.
"I think you've always been my Partner in crime, haven't you? My best friend, soulmate, the person I've fallen completely head over heels for." Carla felt the comforting warmth of the other woman's body as she nuzzled further into her, catching her hand with her own and lacing their fingers together. She allowed herself to revel in the contentment the other woman's touch brought, the way the weight in her chest lifted when at the thought of being allowed to love her freely. Carla nudged her nose against Michelle's, tilting her head to brush their lips together. The kiss was sweet and lingering, the younger woman's lips so warm and delicate against her own.
"Oh. God. Sorry." A voice from the doorway caused them both to break apart. They'd been so consumed in one another they hadn't even heard the door open. It was late and it was evident Ryan had tried to creep in quietly, cautious they might have been sleeping. He'd thrown his arm across his eyes, a brown paper take out bag swinging from his other hand. Lowering his arm slightly, he squinted at them through one eye, the other screwed tightly shut. "So... friends again? More than friends?"
The two women glanced at each other, Carla gave Michelle an affirmative little nod, subtly squeezing her hand in support.
"Ry, I'm sorry you found out the way you did. We are going to tell everyone. I didn't want to lie to you. Are you really okay with- this?"
"The two of you, I'm fine with. The two of you making out on the sofa like a couple teenagers, not so cool. Like, I might need you to keep the running your hands all over my mum thing to a minimum when I'm around?" He nodded to Carla, placing the bag he was holding on the table, before rummaging around for plates, this time addressing Michelle. "But then at the same time, I might need you to not be all over my Aunty when I'm around... God that's a weird sentence isn't it?" The man chuckled absentmindedly, now setting assorted foil tins on the counter. "And there's no way I can pick sides when you're arguing."
Carla's face scrunched slightly, but even she couldn't help a smirk crossing her lips as she listened to her nephew waffle on. It was a relief that he'd taken the news well, she loved him for the way he breezed over it, cracked his jokes, diffused any tension with his ease over the situation.
"Oh and I got the job by the way, thanks for asking." He sassed, rolling his eyes at the pair. Michelle's head snapped up.
"Job? What job?"
"Oh!" Carla exclaimed, turning to Michelle with an apologetic smile. "I forgot to mention, Ry went for the job at 'Speed Daal'." She slid her arm around the younger woman's waist, giving her a gentle squeeze.
"Aw, well done Ry!" Michelle was grinning proudly at her son, her own hand weaving through Carla's dark tresses as the older woman leant her head against her shoulder.
"Are you two going to help me eat this?"
It was only when Ryan mentioned food that Carla realised just how hungry she was. Between the funeral, fighting with Alya and arguing with Michelle, the only thing she'd consumed that day had been a meagre glass of wine. Her body was protesting massively at her mistreatment of it. Maybe that why she'd gotten so fired up in the first place.
"Perks of the job?" Carla questioned, holding out her hand to pull Michelle up from the sofa as she wandered over to the kitchen area, inspecting the contents of the boxes he'd brought home. "'Chelle, come on, you haven't eaten either." She dropped a quick kiss to the side of the younger woman's head, pulling the chair out for her before instructing her to sit down.
"See, the orders have started. Already bossing the part of 'Wicked Stepmother'," Ryan smirked, causing Michelle to splutter.
"Ey!" Carla protested, reaching out to lightly cuff the back of his head, the three of them laughing around the table as they sat down to eat.
[a/n: Thank you for reading! Sorry for the slight delay, had a huge case of writers block and spent days second guessing everything I proceeded to write. I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I didn't want to postpone the update any longer. Thank you for all your lovely reviews! If anyone is on twitter and fancies catching me on there, I'm TicktyFlaminBoo, I will of course follow back! ]