Enjoy:
Chapter 10: 大尉の憤り （taii no ikidoori) The Captain's Wrath.
Seireitei is a beautiful place; willow trees swinging gently in the breeze, the splashes of water coming from the large pond where Koi fishes and carps were lazing about, and the last warm rays of the setting sun shone down upon it, adding to the calm and relaxing effect. Uzumaki Naruto leaned back contently on the top of the thirteenth division's main building, doing what all Nara (except that he isn't one) loves best- cloud gazing.
Naruto snickered as he heard several crashes and shouting coming from inside the building. His captain- probably blind by now by the rapid swelling of her eyes- was doubtlessly throwing a fit and throwing her chairs around in the office. Naruto snickered again. Ahhh…it's good to piss her of. The results were often very, very entertaining. Hmm…should he go down to prod her even more?
His 'creative' thoughts were suddenly interrupted as he sensed an all-too-familiar Reiatsu sign approaching him. That fellow has significantly lowered his Reiatsu, probably trying to avoid detection, but Naruto had far better senses than that. He spoke up once the person was within hearing distance. " So… you managed to sneak in huh? It's actually not that a difficult feat for someone as short as you."
Toushiro behind sighed at being caught so quickly by a rookie took but sat down beside him nevertheless. But then again, it's not like he was even trying to be sneaky in the first place. With his Reiatsu lowered until this much, low-ranking Shinigamis wouldn't have even sensed his presence in the first place. Naruto will surely be promoted, with that rate he was going at. Toushiro sighed again.
" When are you going to stop going on and on about me and my shortness? You got a problem with that?" Toushiro grumbled as he shifted his foot to try and make himself comfortable, since the roof was, after all, slanted, hard, and slippery. " Just because I won that poll for the 'highest ranking shortie' in soul society doesn't mean-"
" You WON the poll?" Naruto interrupted Toushiro's rant, eyes wide. " You actually won?"
" Zip it." Toushiro grumbled, pouting and crossing his arms as turned his face to the side. " That was outdated. It was taken ten years ago, and I was only a sixth seater at that time. "
" Yeah, but currently, none of the captains or vice captains are shorter then you, right?" Naruto asked. Toushiro pondered on it for a moment.
" If you count Hinamori…" He said sulkily, not wanting to admit the fact that he was, unfortunately, still the current shortest, yet already knowing exactly where Naruto's thoughts are drifting towards. Naruto waved his hand impatiently.
" Shorter, idiot. Shorter. She's taller than you, incase you still haven't noticed. And since you're a third seater now, none of the vice-captains or third seaters are shorter too, right?" Naruto smiled and patted Toushiro on the head, trying to look understanding. But since he was Naruto and all, the expression turned out to resemble a smug smile instead. " So that still makes you the 'highest ranking shortie' king in soul society!"
" I said zip it!" Toushiro angrily swatted Naruto's hand off from his head, face red, either from anger or embarrassment. " What are you doing up here anyway?" He grumbled, trying to steer of the current subject, which was pointless and sickening to him. " I thought I'd be finding you snoring away in your sleep."
Naruto turned his head back to the front and gazed into the sky, a smile tugging at his lips. " I just wanted to watch the sunset from a higher point. Is there anything wrong with that?"
" There's nothing wrong with it, I do that too." Toushiro turned his head to where Naruto was gazing at and his expression softened, somewhat. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
" It brings back memories." They said together, exactly at the same time. Then there was a pause and they looked at each other in confusion before bursting out into laughter at their strangely synchronized actions.
" You too?" Toushiro asked, snorting a bit. " I didn't thought you'll waste your time doing dreary, mundane things like this. You'll probably be jumping around, seeing that you're the hyperactive kind."
" I usually jump around. Usually because of training with my friends. Err…from last time." Naruto agreed, surprised that Toushiro had even bothered making time to sit down and stare at the sun. He was always complaining about paperwork and boring missions or squad training. "But afterwards, we'll climb up the Hokage Mountain for a rest, and then we'll see the sunset there. And then, that Sasuke will always box me for interrupting his little emo time with the sky and Shikamaru will nag at me for interrupting his 'cloud gazing'."
" This Sasuke…he's your best friend right?" Toushiro asked. " I've never met him before, but from the way you keep ranting on and on about him, I could tell he's one of your closest friends."
" …Err…" Naruto paused midway, never thinking what an outsider would see it as. Sasuke? His best friend? He didn't know how it developed to that level, but somehow, it just happened. "You could say that. But our friendship was made up of rivalry more than anything else. And, we spend ninety-nine percent of our time together quarreling, so I don't know what makes you say that." Naruto looked at Toushiro strangely at the bizarre question he was asked, and then snickered as he came to a conclusion. "Aww…Is Shiro-chan jealous?"
" No!" Toushiro exclaimed, trying to fake a look disgust. " I'm not that close to you until I'll be jealous of your still-living best friend. You forgot- it's always best if you do not get close to anyone while in this line of work." Toushiro's face hardened. " And putting these inane topics aside, there's something urgent I need to talk to you about."
Naruto looked at Toushiro strangely, curious to what Toushiro wanted. The shorter boy looked dead serious about the topic they were going to discuss- Toushiro's eyes had lost their mischievous gleam and his mouth was set in a hard line. Naruto stood up and jumped off the roof with fox-like movements, landing on the nearby roof neatly, looking expectantly at the platinum haired boy, who got the message and followed, just as swift as the former.
" Where are we going? Isn't there secured enough?" Toushiro asked as he shunpo-ed beside Naruto, who just glared at the other frustratingly.
" No you idiot, there are loads of people rushing in and out just now, and I don't want to be risked getting spotted." Naruto said in a matter-of-fact voice. " So, we're going to my room instead- which I have placed seals onto, so that nobody can eardrop or enter without permission."
" What's wrong with talking there?" Toushiro sighed in exasperation, rolling his eyes. "Don't tell me that you're scared of your own squad members? You had a week or two of interaction, right?"
" Actually, no. I'm currently just escaping from the wrath of my captain." Naruto said, preparing his reiatsu for another shunpo. " And about the interaction thingy…well, the taichou usually sends me on solo missions most of the time. And the rest were used for eating ramen and playing pranks on others whom I do not even know."
' Che. So now they tries to isolate him, huh?' Toushiro kept that in the back of his mind for another time and asked, " Then what about your training?"
" Training? They just gave me a list of different Kidou spells, their chants and their ability, and test me after a week. What? You think it's one-to-one training? Hey, I'm not that privileged." Naruto snorted. " Okay, enough chat already, I think we have arrived. Quick get inside- then you can tell me whatever you like, if it's that secretive and all."
Toushiro would have never thought that Naruto would be this thoughtful. He stepped into the basic quarters of a rookie Shinigami, feeling the door slid shut behind him- probably by Naruto. He took a deep breath.
' Let's get this started then. Before I start to regret my actions.'
" Weeell? What are we discussing today?" Naruto gave a wide Cheshire-like grin to his first ever guest in his room, namely Toushiro. Toushiro sniffed and muttered something muffled under his breath. Naruto's smile grew wider. " Weeeellll?" He always did this to scare people into talking, but that was usually when he had his mask on and Sasuke's murderous killing intent blowing off in strong waves next to him.
" Weeeelll?" He tried one more time. In the end, after deciding that his face just can't be compared with Sasuke's forever sullen one, Naruto huffed and propping his chin up using his palms, irritated at Toushiro's twitching.
" Well?" He demanded, giving up all pretenses. " What's so important that you're just dying to tell me?" Naruto asked. " Not literally, I mean. You're already dead." He added as an afterthought. He prodded Toushiro with a finger as no response came. " Heeey. Shiiiiiro-chaaaaan…"
" Nothing said here will leave the room, okay? For both parties." Toushiro stated penetratingly and waited patiently for Naruto's assented nod before continuing. " Theyreafteryou." Toushiro finally burst out, saying that sentence quickly. He exhaled deeply after that. Naruto, however, look as though he didn't quite catch that line.
"…What?" He asked, sounding confused. " Ah, gomen, I didn't catch that."
" They. Are. After. You." Toushiro repeated carefully, wondering why he was telling that to Naruto in the first place. He wondered why he even bothered about the blonde after the latter graduated into a Shinigami- he's no longer legally in charge of that boy's case already, ever since the training was over.
" Who?" Naruto asked. " My juniors in the academy whom I don't even know?"
" The captains." Toushiro muttered and closed his eyes contritely. " The captains of the thirteen divisions are keeping a close eye on you. Which means, the entire Seireitei too."
Toushiro opened his eyes to observe the other's reaction. To his surprise however, Naruto did not over react, not that it mattered if he did anyway, since Naruto already claimed that the room was soundproofed. Yet, all Naruto did was let out a dull 'I know' and kept his gaze directed downwards.
" How did you find out?" Toushiro asked sharply. Knowing that Toushiro won't report him to anybody – why would that boy do that if he was telling this top-secret to him? – Naruto told Toushiro about the meeting between Yamamoto and Soifon, but tweaked it a little, making it seem as though he had chanced upon it rather than deliberately going there to 'spy' on them. He didn't mention why he decided to stay in the first place, just diving straight into the conversation that took place instead.
Finally, once Naruto was done with the explanation and Toushiro nodded in understanding, the two fell into silence for a while, each having a thousand questions in their heads but not really knowing to the actually phrase them properly. After that brief awkward moment, Naruto spoke up. " Errm…May I ask, why are they after me in the first place?"
" I…don't really know why…" Toushiro looked hesitant and bit his lip, wondering whether he should tell the other or not. 'Oh well, I already told him this much, might as well tell him everything I know.' So, he decided to plunge on recklessly. " But what I do know is that they're gonna try and use you as their tool. Because recently, the twelfth division's captain found a large flaw in Seireitei's defenses. So instead of figuring out a way to repair it, it seems that the captains have decided to have you, to act as their bodyguards instead."
" Then why me?" Naruto asked sharply. He knew that Seireitei has taken a particular interest in him, but he dismissed it just because of the simple reason that he thought that they were just interested because of his occupation when he was alive. Now, he realized that it was because of his occupation that leaded him to his current dilemma. Never did he ever think that being a Shinobi would lead him to this much trouble.
" It's because I'm a shinobi, isn't it?" He asked flatly. Toushiro nodded heavily in reply, holding his breath to wait for the explosion. Naruto continued on. " And the reason why I was sent into the second division was because…."
" Probably to train you on your patience and obedience." Toushiro said, brain already guessing the reason when Kurosaki-taichou told him that Naruto would be going to the second division. " Although from what I can make out of, Soifon-taichou seems to object into having you. She hates rebellious and loudmouth people, namely you. I think you were automatically placed into her group; meaning that the General-commander didn't ask for her opinion for that matter too. That's why she's so sore about it."
Naruto looked down at his hands, his front bangs covering his eyes, his shoulders shaking in what probably be in rage. Toushiro waited for the explosion. " I…I thought you guys are all…supposed to be, you know, nice people and all that kind of stuff…I mean, Jyuushiro taichou and Kurosaki taichou…and to think that I trusted you…you all…I thought you were all…you would see me differently from a monster. "
Toushiro rested a hand on Naruto's shoulder. " Officially yes, the captains are seeing you as a tool. But not all support that idea- Isshin and Jyuushiro-taichou being two of the few. And you have my support too, as well as Renji's. What makes you say that you're a monster anyway?"
Receiving no response from the blond, Toushiro tried again. The only time he ever saw Naruto like that was when he first entered Seireitei. And to tell the truth, it was very erroneous to see the usually hyper Naruto looking like that. It was just…not right. Just plain wrong. " Look, I'm really sorry I got you into this mess. I shouldn't have asked you to become a Shinigami in the first place. It's all my fault." Toushiro said heavily, leaning back on his zabuton. Naruto will probably hate Seireitei to the core by now. And he didn't want to see what an angry shinobi can do.
That sentence, however, seemed to snap Naruto back into reality as the blond threw his head back and begun laughing. Very, very loudly. " D-Don't worry about it, Shiro-chan! I chose to be one anyway- I'm in as much fault as you." He grinned before bursting out laughing again, clutching his ribs. Toushiro twitched. And here he was, worrying for that boy even coming here, risking his neck, to warn in about the possible dangers he was in, and what did he get for return? Laughter. Naruto was now spluttering things like 'stupid Shinigamis' and ' use me indeed' as he clutched his stomach painfully.
Then he suddenly sat up straight, all laughter forgotten and slammed his palm on the table, making Toushiro jump at that sudden movement and abrupt change of attitude. Toushiro's right hand had already clutched the hit of his zanpakuto as he looked around blindly, inspecting an intruder. After realizing his mistake, he relaxed his grip and dished out yet another glare to Naruto. Before he could say out a scathing insult however, Naruto was already talking very feverishly; the blond's face was swelling up with indigence.
" Screw you again Toushiro! Why do you always like to play with my mind?! Those old geezers can try and control me all they like- I'd like to see them try!" Naruto's voice rose higher and higher with each word he said. Toushiro blinked owlishly.
" What? I didn't 'play with your mind', I was stating the facts!" He said, confused. " You…you should be grateful for what I'm doing! Yet you're scolding me! What sort of gratitude is this?"
" You did play with it! You just tried to discourage me from being a Shinigami, didn't you? Well let me tell you something - I, Uzumaki Naruto, am not quitting, 'cause I won't go back on my words! That's my ninja way, and no one is going to stop me! Not even you!" Naruto said, rapidly and heatedly. He took a deep breath and sat down on his zabuton again, somewhat huffily yet with an air of satisfaction at his words. Toushiro sat there speechless for a second before he unstuck his tongue.
"You …you ungrateful idiot. You didn't hear my last question, didn't you?" He grumbled, though he tried to hide the small smile on his face. "Mattaku, I didn't discourage you. I just said that if you continue, you'd be facing loads of difficulties from now onwards. Though I wonder why…out of all the many Shinobis, why did they pick you?"
" Dunno. Maybe I'm the only one who died with all my body parts still being intact at the exact same time that they searched for a Shinobi to serve them. So they conveniently grabbed me." Naruto shrugged and slouched all over the table, pondering on what he should do to them for 'payback'. " Did they mention anything?" He asked Toushiro.
" No…" Toushiro stood up and headed to the door. " Okay, it's getting dark, I'd better get going least my captain will start nagging. I'm not supposed to be disclosing this information to anyone, especially you, and I'm making a big risk already but telling you this. So don't let it slip, alright?"
Naruto rolled his eyes and snorted. " Of course I won't Shiro-chan. Even I know how important it is and the oh-so-drastic consequences you and I will face if it slips, so you have better not tell anyone that I peeked into the captain's meeting too."
" Don't call me that." Toushiro gave a halfhearted glare at Naruto but sighed and straightened his sword on his back instead. " And don't mention or leak out anymore information about your past life, alright? They think that they succeeded in erasing your memories, so we'll keep it that way. I think my captain heard you the last time, but he's always mostly drunk, so maybe he'll forget."
" Hai, hai." Naruto sighed at Toushiro's constant fussing. " I got it, I got it." He paused and called out. " Oh yeah, have you apologized to that girl, Rukia, yet?"
" No, why should I?" Came Toushiro's immediate answer. " I won't apologize to my juniors. Not unless she apologizes first." The air turned frosty and Naruto chuckled nervously. Oops, bad topic. Apparently, Toushiro was still sore after getting scolded by his junior and then getting whacked by her for no good reason. Toushiro continued. " And anyways, you should be worrying about yourself, not me."
" What?" Naruto asked, somewhat dumbly. " I'm not the one who offended the ice princess, you did-"
" No!" Toushiro impatiently sighed. " Soifon taichou got you into her squad without her approval. She's definitely sour about this. You're going to have a hard life under her. And the General Commander is keeping a close watch over both she and you."
" Daijoubu, Shiro-chan. It'll all work out in the end, trust me." Naruto gave the boy a 'nice guy pose' and cheerfully waved Toushiro off as the white haired boy climbed onto the balcony's railing. " Believe me, I've lead a harder life than this. A few old coots plotting against me won't make a difference. And it's not like I believe in a 'sealed fate' or anything like that."
Toushiro rolled his eyes and prepared to jump off. He stopped halfway and turned to Naruto. " Oh yeah. I'm not quite sure, but I heard Kurotsuchi taichou talking something about this 'kyuubi' or something…does it ring any bells, Naruto?"
Naruto had frozen at his spot, his eyes blank. He slowly snapped back to earth. " What? Oh…no. Never." Toushiro raised and eyebrow but chose not to reply and shunpo-ed off. Watching Toushiro's silhouette blend into the darkness f the night, Naruto turned away and hurriedly walked back into his room and collapsed into his soft puffy bed in a heap, letting his exhaustion overtake him, hoping that he will have a nice, dreamless sleep. Something tells him hat he was going to need it, a lot. Because he doesn't think that Soifon will let that incident go unreported and ignored.
" You…you…Usuratonkachi! Did you know what a serious offence you had just committed?!"
" What serious offence? I don't remember creating any recently. You're the one who was repeatedly complaining about the stuffy weather and that you were hot and sweaty, and you just couldn't stop to pay attention to the baa-chan…. and blahblahblahblah, so I did that to shut you up. Think of it as a kind act for a fellow teammate- that was my last bottle."
" You just poured, a bucket of water over my head. Over my hair…"
" Oops, sorry, I forgotten, Sasuke-chan. Your godforsaken hair is drenched. What a great tragedy."
" I… I'll kill you…"
" Bring it on, Teme!"
" You're asking for it!"
" Hah! Like you'll be able to beat me anyway!"
Naruto awoke with a jot and sat up straight in his bed, that dream still fresh and vivid in his mind. He wondered why it suddenly sprang out to him like that. That particular memory happened a long, long time ago, when teams seven were still young naïve genins, fresh out of the academy. When Sasuke hasn't left Konoha for Orochimaru yet…so you could say that the dream was very random. But Naruto was somewhat relieved that he remembered such an old thing, meaning that his memories were still intact and with him.
That was one other thing he was scared of the most, after coming into Soul Society and then into Seireitei. He was scared that he would forget his friends, the ones who had helped him escaped from his childhood hell of loneness. He was scared that he would forget himself…would he turn into Gaara from when before Naruto had the chance to befriend him? Would Seireitei finally succeed into molding him into their loyal tool?
Naruto couldn't bear to turn into Gaara. Oh no, he wasn't going to turn into something as psychopathic as that. Snapping Gaara out of it and then turning into something similar afterwards, what a joke.
Besides, he could still remember most of it, so let's just put this matter aside for now, shall we? With that in mind, Naruto hastily began to change and dashed out of his door, wanting to get some Ramen with more milk for breakfast. Hmm…should he have miso today, or chicken?
Naruto was coming back from his breakfast and heading towards the outdoor training field, planning to get on with his morning training before the big burly man (whatever his name is; Naruto called him blubber) who was in charge of training and also the second division's vice captain, could make him do extra rounds. Not that he minded or anything.
Realizing that he was late for training and if he kept this pace up, he would really have to do extra rounds plus keeping the equipment up, Naruto decided to make a dash for the field. As he rounded up a corner, he bumped into something not so hard yet not so soft, sending him sprawling onto the floor, rubbing is head from the impact.
He looked up only to see his very own captain, Soifon, looking mutinous and glaring down at him. Ahh…she was still angry about the powder. Speaking of the swelling powder he had exploded onto her face yesterday, most of the swelling had gone down, only a few bumps could be spotted if you squint. Now she looked as though she had large, heavy eye bags under her eyes.
Naruto and grinned at her from the floor rather shamefacedly. " Err…ohayo taichou…?" He greeted her sounding very awkward. Soifon blinked at the greeting and glared at her subordinate angrily, though her face was still rather red at the embarrassing state she was in. And it was all because of him.
"You…" She snarled out but stopped and decided to take in a deep breath before exploding out loudly. " What exactly did you do to my eyes yesterday?!" she screamed. " I had to undergo seven different eyes checks and nine hours of blindness before the fourth division could find out what exactly was affecting my eyes and made the swelling do down! And that stunt made me miss an entire day off from paperwork and missions and waste my time sitting on my bum doing absolutely NOTHING!"
She stopped and returned to glaring furiously at the boy. Naruto looked shocked for a moment at that large reaction before finally breaking the icy silence. " Well, if you look on the bright side, you missed and entire day off from paperwork. You don't like paperwork, do you?"
Soifon glared harder in response- if that was even possible-, her eyes flashing dangerously. Naruto spotted it but only shrugged in response continued giving her a stupid and sheepish smile. " What did you do to me? Give me the antidote now."
" The fourth division haven't had it figured out yet?" Naruto asked, surprised. Soifon didn't respond, but the slight narrowing of eyes told him just as much. Naruto's grin broadened. " It's really simple. The powder I used was called the Ramen soup powder, filled with miso, soy sauce and salt, the basic ingredients used for creating ramen soup, created by me, the great Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto said, puffing his chest out proudly.
" Don't kid with me!" Soifon yelled. " This doesn't make any sense! As far as I know, Ramen does not make any rapid skin swelling!"
Naruto blinked. " Okay, maybe I added some katsuobushi and crushed shiitake, but who cares? I just used the basic ingredients for a shio soup." Seeing Soifon's unbelieving face of having mushrooms and tuna splattered over her face, Naruto added hastily. " The swelling was probably caused by the salt. Or maybe you have and allergy to tunas or mushroom spores."
" …So how do I stop it?" Soifon gritted out. " And why the hell did you do that?"
" You were choking me." Naruto accused, half whining. He grinned harder, seeing his captain's murderous face. Hmmm…his captain must be getting desperate. " Okay, so why do you care so much if I add on to the puffiness of your eyes? It was going to get puffy sooner or later, seeing how you go on and on about your paperwork for twenty-four hours without stopping."
" So for the cure, doctor Uzumaki recommends more sleep, and a low-carb diet." He said that in a singsong voice and waggled his fingers at her. " So no more rice and bread for taichou!" Soifon really felt like punching him straight in the face and wipe of his irritating smile once and for all there and then, but held back. She took a deep breath to calm herself down and abruptly turned and walked off the opposite way.
Naruto stood up and trailed after her, wanting some fun. He walked behind her as all lower rankings were supposed to be doing, but with every five steps, he purposely trod on her captains haori, making her stumble a bit or just slowing her down. After several minutes or walking through this long, boring corridor with her haori getting stepped on every few seconds and having an annoying subordinate trailing after her like an obedient dog, she decided to speed up her steps.
That didn't work as that only made her haori yanked back harder as Naruto stepped on it even more. She blatantly ignored the bout of snickers behind her. Soon, she found herself walking super fast through the winding corridors, almost close to running, but not quite. Taichous do not run. She wished she could shunpo away, but she was not going to waste her energy on a twit like him.
Finally, she stopped and glared at him, the area around her crackling with her reiatsu as a thousand and one ideas on how to murder him flashed through her mind.
" Oh! Sumimasen taichou, are you all right? You seemed like you had a sprained ankle or something, you were stumbling quite a lot." Naruto stared back at her with a supremely guiltless expression on his face. Soifon found herself flexing her arm muscle and cracking her knuckles.
Reminding herself not to bash him up, she managed to force out through gritted teeth. " I'm…fine. You are excused. Please leave." Naruto didn't even blink but still stood in the same position, staring at her blankly. That irked Soifon a bit. "You understand me right? Hurry up and get lost. I'm busy. And your quarters are on the left anyway, so scram." She snapped rudely at him. Now trying to feign stupidity?
Slowly, Naruto's face cleared up and he smiled at her again. 'Trying to get rid of me eh?'" Ahh, thanks for worrying over me taichou, but I'm heading to the training field. It's in the same direction which you're heading to."
" Okay…" Soifon looked skeptically at him for a moment before huffing and walking away from this brat. Finally, she could not take it anymore and shunpo-ed away hastily.
Naruto glanced at his taichou's retreating figure and burst out laughing at her behavior, clutching his sides painfully. Still chuckling and wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes, he glanced at the second division's clock tower that stood out in the center of the entire division. It was seven thirty in the morning.
Naruto's smile was wiped off in an instant. Crap, he was half an hour late because he was 'bullying' the captain. Oh dear, blubber is going to hit him hard.
Cursing, he shunpo-ed rapidly to where the training field was. Goddammit, he was so not going to turn into Kakashi.
" Eh? PROMOTED? ME?" Naruto burst out, his voice ringing throughout the office. He couldn't believe his ears. It had only been seven months since he came here. And since age doesn't matter here, seven months is very short. Really very short. He looked at Soifon disbelievingly. " Are you sure?"
" Yes, you nincompoop now shut up before I void the promotion document." She snarled, rubbing her eyes. Naruto had the decency to blush and cover his mouth up. Soifon forced out a strained looking smile as she re-read the documents out loud. " Uzumaki Naruto, you are now promoted to the second divisions' higher ranking levels…by a bit only, so don't get to conceited, brat!" She snapped at Naruto halfway upon seeing the smile on his face. " Wipe that smug smile off your face, it's too early to get stuck-up now."
Naruto lowered his head, trying to hide his growing beam on his face. He hurriedly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when the smile refused to slip. ' I can't believe she's actually listening to the general's words…' He let out a snicker but managed to change it into a snort, making a very weird noise come out of his throat. Soifon looked at Naruto oddly. " Oei. Are you…still sane?"
Naruto nodded vigorously, trying to suppress his laughter. His captain was a great joke. " Hai! Gomen taichou, but I feel…strangely amused at this current situation. It's just…too…hilarious…" He snorted out and finally burst out laughing on the floor, unable to control his laughter anymore. The seated Shinigami present and their captain all turned and looked at him strangely. Never has anyone this hyper and crazy entered his or her squad in a decades. " It's just that…hahahaha…. you guys willingly promoted me in such a short span of time. I trained my entire life and ….oh, at this rate, I'll be chicken feet to become a captain!!"
" Had enough of laughing? Good." Soifon interrupted his fit on the floor, clearly not amused. " Now go do your efficiency test." Naruto stopped and looked at her, baffled. Soifon smirked. " You don't think I'll promote you without testing you, did I? Tough luck, Uzumaki." She tossed a scroll at him. Naruto snorted at his oh so predictable captain and opened the scroll to read the mission details.
" 'Scout area 225 and eliminate the five hollows there in no more than four hours.'" He read out loud, doubtfully.
Soifon nodded. " I take it you have no problems with the tasks? Good. We will open the gate to area 225 shortly. You have ten minutes to prepare."
Naruto nodded pocketed the scroll after rolling it back. " Where exactly is area 225 anyway?"
" It's in the real world. The rules into getting there is simple. We will open the sekai gate and dispatch a hell butterfly- that's a black one with a pink stripe-and you will stick with it and follow it until you reach the other side of the gate. That area you come out of will be area 225. Elimate the five hollows over there. Use this to help you- it's a hollow detector and communicator too." The stick-like man who's the third seater said, tossing Naruto a sleek cell phone. Naruto only rembered seeing one when he was in Anbu; Tsunade had ordered one, thinking that it would be better for communication, since it had a longer range than radios. But it vibrated and rang too loud, scaring the crap out of shinobis when they were in a middle of a battle and it was too large, bulky and inconvenient that the Godaime robed off the plan, saying that it was a waste of money.
Naruto inspected it curiously before sliping it into his back pocket, along with his scrolls. The absence of his kunai holster and pouch made it somewhat uncomfortable. As was the light, baggy loose-fitting clothes he was wearing now. He wanted his heavy armored shinobi-wear. It felt stupid to go into battle with only a measly tachi.
Naruto adjusted his sword, waiting for another five minutes to fly past but stopped halfway and looked at Soifon, who was back to her paperwork, brush flashing madly. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. " Err…I know this might sound awkward but, what the hell is a hollow? An empty mushroom or something?"
Soifon looked up and let out a groan, slapping her face exasperatedly. She knew it was too good to be true. She just knew.
After several screaming from the seated officers and a few jumbled words on how a hollow looked like and how to dispatch one ('Slice the mask! Slice the mask!') and what a hollow can do, Naruto found himself tossed into the sekai gate by panicked and worried-stricken Shinigami, after they realized that they had just sent a newbie to elimate hollows. The last he was before the bright light engulfed him was Soifon calmly slipping her Gyokuro, completely ingnoring him. Damn her.
Naruto turned around by only saw white light. The dimensional portal only had white light. Nothing more- no smell, noise and even no solid surface, making him wonder how he was even standing in the first place.
Spotting his butterfly flapping into the space on his right, Naruto hastened to follow it, knowing that he would be fully lost and trapped in the space if he didn't. After two or three minutes of running (boy, that butterfly was fast), Naruto suddenly found himself basked in strong sunlight, ground was back on his feet again.
He was back on earth. Exactly where he was, he didn't know nor care- he was back on earth. Where his precious people was here. He hadn't seen them for more than a year already. Snapping out of it and reminding himself that he was on a mission and that he was being closely observed by Seireitei somewhere, Naruto blanked his face so that no one would know his thoughts or feeling right now. In all actuality, he wanted to scream for joy on being back on his wonderful planet.
But he had a mission to complete. So looking around, he saw that he was in a middle of a forest clearing with very delicate spindly and springy trees, very unlike the ones in Konoha, which had thick and heavy trunks and branches. That just goes to show him how far he was from his country. Ah well.
His eyes narrowed as a figure suddenly appeared into the clearing beside him. It had a dull, dirty green colored body, which somewhat resembled a human, except that its hands and feet looked particularly swollen and that it had a hole through its chest. And that it was way, way, way bigger than any human he had ever seen, roughly about the size of Gamma. A bone like mask covered its face completely. Naruto recognized this thing as a hollow, from what the Shinigami were shouting into his ear ten minutes ago.
Almost immediately, a ripping hole appeared from the sky and another similar monster stepped out, but this time it had grayish blue skin and it's arms were so huge, the monster had to drag it along with him. This one resembled a twisted looking bald gorilla. Gross.
The two clumsy bozos roared loudly, having found a prey in which they could munch on. No matter how tiny he is compared to them. Naruto grinned and unsheathed his sword, getting into a defensive stance.
Oh goodie, he was so going to have a very fun time with them.
Vocabulary:
Usuratonkachi- clumsy idiot.
Baa-chan- Granny
Miso- A Japanese food. Don't ask what.
Ohayo- Good morning
Katsuobushi- Skipjack tuna
Shiitake- a type of mushroom(Goodness, why do you even want to know this?)
Sumimasen- Escuse me
Shio- salt
Gyokuro- A high class japanese green tea ( Pampered Soifon deserves the best, ne?)
Author's notes
And another thing: I found out that I have made a mistake- Renji is now a third-seater, not a vice-captain. He beacame a vice-captain after Rukia left. Small mistake, my bad. And the sad thing is, Toushiro might make lesser appearences from now onwards, kay? (Since he's not really the main character and all...)
So, many thanks to DarkRavie, Ding Dong Ding, WhatDoYoumeanI'mDrunk, Mock Blade, The Chronic Masturbater, The sillver Blossom, Froggy-slice, Blood Zephyr, invisible-gurl, PennyArcadeFan2, chm01, NaruXHina-Rules, lambtastic, sniper757, shankstar89, jffy48734 and Poet Bucky for reviewing.
Yup, hoped you loved blubber and wait for my next update!