...I guess you could say sparks fly in this chapter...
Not much had changed in the den since the last time Sam and Stiles visited except for a couple of chairs and books that were moved around.
Stiles looked around until he finally decided that they should search while they still could. Sam slowly agreed, still preoccupied with her worried thoughts on Allison and Scott. "I think we should start with this."
"I've seen these before… these symbols. They were in some of my dad's old books" she said looking at them.
"Do you know what they mean?"
"Not exactly. I'm going to have to check again to be sure" she replied while drawing some of the symbols on a sheet of loose paper she found along with a pencil.
Stiles walked over to the bookshelf and tried to look for some useful information on what Derek was up to. It was then that more gunshots were heard followed by a howl. "Yup, we're going to be stuck here for a long time" he groaned, looking up to where the battle was taking place.
"Looks that way" she said glancing up at him with a frightened expression in her eyes.
"Don't worry, Allison will be fine."
"I don't think so, I mean she's never hunted, let alone killed a wolf, on her own before."
"I'm sure Scott's number one priority is to protect her anyways" he reassured.
The two then became quiet and the only thing that could be heard was the growls and thumping sounds above. Stiles continued scanning the shelf but had no such luck on finding anything that would help them. He sighed and slid down on the floor to rest his brain. "Giving up already?" Sam teased, while quickly finishing up her drawings.
"Nope, I just couldn't find anything" he replied. "God, I'm so useless" he mumbled to himself rather loudly.
Finally finishing, Sam folded the piece of paper and put it in her pocket. She sat down next to him. "You're not useless. You just couldn't find anything. And if you couldn't find anything I'm pretty sure I haven't either" she sympathetically said.
"I don't believe that," he smirked, "You're pretty much amazing at everything- mini golf, school hunting even cheer. Especially cheer!"
"No I'm not. I suck at it and I hate it-"
"Yeah, what is up with that? Do you not see how awesome you are at it?"
She looked down suddenly fascinated by the floor, "Well, I took gymnastics with Allison when were younger. I use some of it for hunting but…"
"So then why do hate it so much?" he asked deeply curious.
"You know, we should really look at those books over there" she said, trying to change the topic.
"Sam…"
She looked up at him already giving in. "Do you know what 'atelophobia' is?"
He shook his head, "No."
"Atelophobia is a type of fear. It's the fear of imperfection or not being good enough."
Stiles was quiet for a second and then he finally spoke, "So you're afraid of making mistakes. Is that why you didn't want to try-out for cheerleading?"
She nodded, "But it's not just with cheer. It's with school, friends, everything."
"You know you out of all people shouldn't worry about that sort of thing."
"But I do" she said looking down at her lap.
"Why? What could have possibly caused that that?"
"I don't know. I guess sometimes I feel like my mistakes are what cause everything to go wrong, like everything's always my fault."
"Sam, everybody makes mistakes, nobody's perfect, you know that. Doing the best you possibly can should always be enough. Plus if anything goes wrong it's not the end of the world" he replied, making it seem like she had nothing to worry about.
"Well it cost me my father" she said quietly, "So it kind of was the end of my world."
Stiles looked at her in realization and tried to collect his thoughts so he could find the will to speak. "Sam… don't think like that. It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was. If I'd trained and practiced and taken everything more seriously, I could've been the one to save him," she stopped and then finally continued, "I just don't want to lose anyone else the same way I lost my dad."
Stiles shook his head, "Don't put the blame on your shoulders, okay? It wasn't you fault" he repeated.
"Yes it was."
"No it wasn't" he said trying to make her feel better.
"Yes it was" she repeated stubbornly.
"No. It wasn't" he finally stated. After a brief pause he spoke again, "You know I used to think the same thing too, that it was my fault my mom died. Heck, I still believe it. But what I do know is that it's something of the past and all I can do is move forward."
She looked up at him, "But don't you ever wonder about how things could've been if she was still here?"
"Yeah. A lot actually. But I know she'd want me to be happy with everything the way it is now and I'm pretty sure your dad would want the same."
Sam looked at Stiles in utter fascination and awe as to how he could make all her worries and fears just go away like that. He had literally just flipped her whole situation to create a resolution. His optimism was really infectious. "Stiles why are you so awesome?"
He grinned, "I don't know about that, but I try."
She gave him a sudden confused look, "What do you mean?"
Guess, I should really just say it, he thought to himself and stared at the wall ahead. "Well, sometimes I feel like I'm the one responsible for everyone, just because I can't offer the things everyone else can. Since I'm not… a werewolf… or a hunter, I have to try and find some way to pitch in and do my part in all this. But I can't. I just can't. I do literally everything I can, but in the end… I'm just Robin… So I guess I share a similar fear… Never being enough…" he said so quietly it was almost unspoken.
It was then that everything finally became clearer to Sam. The boy sitting right next to her was not just the goofball out of the bunch. He was far sadder and conflicted than anyone had often given him credit for. He tries so hard to be enough but he's vastly unappreciated. The pain that he goes through isn't even realized because he's always there for everyone else and they just don't see it. Stiles was at a far more fragile state than herself, she thought. More than anything, all she wanted to do was console him.
Stiles began to speak again. This time more rushed and with a sense of fear and panic. At this point he was trapped inside his own little world. He stared at nothing while his breathing began to quicken as thoughts of downfalls in every possible thing he could ever imagine himself doing were running wild in his head. He kept on talking, but Sam couldn't pay attention as to what he was saying because of all her sudden feelings for him that were beginning to surface all at once.
Without speaking she softly placed her hand on the side of his face causing him to abruptly stop speaking and turn to look at her. It took him a few moments to register what was going on and the fact that he had been on the verge, or if not, having a panic attack. And so, it had been Sam's simple gesture that had brought him back to a sense of calmness and ease.
He looked into her thoughtful eyes and then, in just seconds, her lips finally met his. Chills went down his spine as he felt nervous, scared and excited all at once. His stomach was doing somersaults but for all the right reasons because kissing her felt so right.
After a few moments they both pulled away from the kiss. Sam's eyes fluttered open and she saw the redness Stiles' cheeks had along with his surprised expression. It was then that she tried to find the courage to speak. "Stiles don't think of yourself as just the human, or the class clown, or the guy who sits on the bench for every lacrosse game because to me you're the most brave, loyal, smart, and loving person I know."
A smile spread across his face and both Sam and Stiles knew exactly how they were feeling. With that, he couldn't help himself but pull back in. His lips softly brushed against hers before finally pressing into another kiss.
About time, huh?! More cute and romantic parts of the story will surely be coming your way :)
Oh, and don't forget to tell me what you think, or to leave a comment, a suggestion, etc. :)
Also want to say thanks for all the feedback/reviews and stuff, it really means a lot xoxo