AN: Hello All! So I know it's been FOREVER since I've last updated, so I wanted to take a moment and say sorry. RL seems to make everything more complicated, and so this chapter took much longer than I had planned. I hope you can understand, and if I've disappointed some of you, I'm very VERY sorry. As for those of you who continue to stick around, thank you so much for your support and continued feedback. I write for fun, but those of you who comment, add this story to favorites/alerts really make the process that much more rewarding. Also, a shout out to my editor Zepheera for her continued hard work and patience with me when I took so long :) It means a lot to have your feedback!
I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter, and as always constructive comments are more than welcome!
Much love,
Voi
She was burning alive, skin blistering as just below the surface of her skin some unseen biotic fire consumed what was within.
Surrounded by liquid fire, unceasing in its consumption, great waves of pain rose to meet her heedless of her pain. Drowning, she couldn't breathe and every struggling gasp filled her lungs with fire rather than air, smothering her. She writhed in pain, trying to get away with no avail.
The roaring of the fire was deafening, making it impossible to think, forcing her only to feel.
And there was nothing, only a dark void, and an inky blackness that loomed before her, threatening though she did not know with what.
It was then that she heard someone call out to her, a friendly voice that was comforting in its strange familiarity. Female, though not recognizably either Jack or Miranda, she doubted either one of them could sound quite so cheery.
'Hey Shep… you there?'
Nora opened her eyes slowly, and found herself looking up at a face she recognized.
"Oh dear, you're not looking too peachy are you, Shep?"
Blinking slowly, reality rushed up to meet her.
"It's you… Citadel, right?"
Nora's voice was rough from disuse and she coughed to try and clear it.
A smile ghosted across the other woman's lips as she left the bedside, perching on a small chair at the other end of the room, "My name is Kasumi Goto, a pleasure to formally meet you Shepard."
Nora tried to lift her hand up to offer a handshake but could barely wiggle a finger. Between the surprise at her body's lack of response and the fleeting sense of panic that went with it, Nora nearly missed Kasumi's easy smile of understanding.
"Ah don't worry about it, Shep; you're not exactly at a hundred percent right now. Besides," The smile on her face seemed more of a grin, "handshakes are for squares."
"Really?" Nora felt the corners of her lips tug upwards but couldn't muster the strength to shoulder past the pain for a full smile, "I'll have to remember that."
The door of her room slid open then; and though it was some time before her eyes could focus properly on the figure in the doorway, when they did Nora smiled fully, if only for just a moment. Struggling upwards, Nora managed to rise to a seated position, grimacing at the sudden wave of exhaustion that came with such little movement.
"Ah, Thane was it?" Kasumi's expression was lost to Nora as the other woman turned towards the drell, "Isn't it a bit unusual for you to be wandering around? You're not one to leave Life Support."
The assassin took her comments in stride, nodding to Shepard before addressing the newcomer.
"I merely wished to check on my Commander. It is admittedly partially through my own fault that she came to such harm."
Shepard cleared her throat as she attempted to move her hand once again, felt the startling burning in her fingertips when she pushed too hard. Hand throbbing, Nora sighed as she stopped, momentarily surprised to see the soft fabric of her pajamas.
"Thane this is – "
"Kasumi Goto, yes, I am familiar with her. There was surprisingly little information about her on the information channels." He flashed a smile down at her as he took a seat beside her bed, "She has been onboard since the Citadel, I believe."
The woman seemed to pout, "Oh that's no fun."
"Then I apologize for spoiling it for you." Thane apologized formally as he folded in hands in his lap. Yet his spoken rigidity was offset by the still bright look in his eyes, a humor that was as rare as his smiles. It was only when he sidled up beside her, allowing her to rest against him that Nora realized just how appallingly exhausted her body remained.
Warm hands were on her immediately, gently settling her against her pillows, pulling thin blankets up around her. Eyes barely open by now, Nora struggled to remain conscious.
"The crew has made room for Samara aboard the Normandy and while I don't doubt that you will need to speak to her, she is not the only one."
Thane spoke soothingly as he patted her, smoothing the hair away from her face, "There is one in particular who has been most anxious for you to awaken."
Kasumi giggle crossed the room, "You're talking about the turian, Garrus, right? I knew it, he is sweet on her!"
Above her, Nora could see Thane's lips flicker into a slight smile over his otherwise solemn expression and laughed softly, her own relaxed for the first time since waking. Her amusement allowed her to fight the thralls of sleep for a moment longer, "How long have I been out?"
Another enigmatic smile passed over Thane's face, "I will leave him to answer you. I do not think you would be glad to hear such things from me."
"You mean Garrus, don't you?" Kasumi's excited voice once more permeated the air, "He came in a while ago so he is due back soon."
The doors to the room slid open then, the metallic hiss drawing three sets of eyes; but the person who walked through the door was distinctly not turian.
"Miranda."
Nora's voice was carefully bland as she spied the woman, taking in the tense shoulders and slight frown on her lips.
"I take it you want a private meeting, now."
"That would be best." Her tone left no room for argument, and Nora really was too tired to begin fighting now.
Thane's hand brushed her shoulder as he stood, silently directing the thief out of the room as well. Still locked in Nora's penetrating gaze, Miranda grimaced at the now deafening silence. The door slid closed, leaving just the two women.
"Alright then," Nora's hand gestured to the seat Kasumi had just vacated, trembling slightly at the exertion of that brief action. "What is this about?"
Brief flashes of the most recent mission flashed before her eyes, forcing her to recall the decisions which had led to her current position.
Miranda, it seemed, remembered similarly, and the perfect woman folded her hands on her lap as she began to speak.
"Do you remember the conversation I had with you several weeks ago?"
Nora would have smiled if she had felt in better humor, "The one about me doing my best to avoid any neurological damage?"
There was clear irritation on the other woman's face now. "Yes. That discussion."
"I didn't make any promises to you, Miranda, I haven't broken any oaths."
"You endangered yourself, and in the process have put this entire mission at risk." Brown eyes shone fiercely with accusation, "Mordin had to run another battery of tests after you were brought in. The results will take time, but until then it's imperative that you refrain from testing your biotics. Not that you have any to use, mind you. "
The stark exhaustion that had so plagued her since waking suddenly made more sense; and the implications were disturbing.
"I'm biotically empty right now, aren't I?" Nora's mind raced to try and understand the limitations that would come without being with the once excessive powers. She couldn't say she was an expert on biotic energy on any level, but she felt the differences .
Exhaustion would, no doubt, be the biggest hindrance.
"The Illusive Man has requested that you avoid using your biotic abilities until Mordin has assessed the damage and found a way for you to use them when your natural reserves replenish themselves."
"So you want me to run the same types of missions I've been doing up until now, without them?" Nora felt angry, tired and more than willing to prove to be her usual stubborn self. Where her lack of strength had prevented her from starting an argument at the onset of the conversation, her weakness proved to be fertile ground for anger now.
"Tell me, just when was it that you decided to make yourself concerned for my wellbeing?"
Miranda's lips pressed into a grim line.
"There is no substitute in leadership; the Illusive Man has been clear about this from the start. The fact that you continue to seem so ready to run headlong into danger no matter the warnings only makes my job that much harder."
"Is there anything else I should know?" The tension had begun to settle into the muscles of her back and shoulders.
Miranda said nothing as she rose from her seat and crossed the room, standing just at the edge of Nora's bed. Putting a small bottle of pills on the bedside table, the Cerberus operative seemed suddenly resolute, her perfectly formed hand clenching by her side. It was only when she was almost at the door that Miranda answered the question, her words almost worried and a sharp contrast to her grim expression.
"Just be careful, Shepard. We don't have time to bring you back from the grave a second time."
The door closed with a soft hiss a moment later and it was then that Nora's temper made itself known. Sharp painful jolts tore through her nervous system as her body sought for the biotic expression she was incapable of performing, leaving her gasping until the pain gave way to anger.
Damn it all. Miranda, Cerberus, her screwed up biotic powers…
Nora swore, now entirely unable to sleep despite the way her body trembled for need of rest. The longer she lay in bed, the more her anger grew, and so she forced herself to straighten her back, to move her legs towards the floor. Pushing the sheets away from her body had her sweating with effort, but she had to move, had to do something, anything, to stem this tide of anger and frustration she felt so deeply.
There always seemed to be conflicts in her line of work, always extraneous complications that promised to leave her hanging dangerously at the most inopportune times. The next mission would, no doubt, be yet another perfect accident waiting to happen; without her biotics, she felt handicapped.
"Wonderful."
Nora staggered away from her bed, casting an untrusting eye at the small canister Miranda had left there, silently reading the note that rested beside it.
Take four daily, two in morning, two before bed. Very important, must not forget.
Mordin's voice seemed to chastising her even as she stood alone in her room. Nora didn't doubt that the medicine would help with the heavy pain that wracked her body, but she had never been one to enjoy taking pills for anything.
She'd put it off for as long as she could. Perhaps the anger would sustain her.
Her lips twisted into a grimace as she took another step away from the bed, only to be stopped once more as the door to her room opened with a now altogether familiar hiss.
All it took was his look of surprise for her anger to abate, if just for a moment.
"Garrus."
She smiled faintly, swaying on her feet but otherwise outwardly strong, unharmed.
Not for a second did he believe her, and his arms gently encircled her waist, encouraging her to take the strength he so freely offered.
She hesitated then, a mixture of stubborn pride and genuine surprise crossing her face. But he was warm, not soft, but solid under her hands, strong enough to hold her when her legs threatened to fail. Though she meant to argue, meant to remind him that she was the commander, she fell asleep before he had finished tucking her into bed.
She hadn't expected her room to double as a transit center when she had woken up three days ago, in pain and out of biotic powers. But as she watched yet another member of her team enter her quarters unannounced she couldn't help but feel as if this was more a sign of greater group trust than anything else.
"Jack."
The younger woman didn't respond as she passed, merely sat down on Shepard's bed, her sharp eyes avoiding her commander. She had stood in the doorway for nearly ten minutes, before entering, and even now there was a simmering tension in the young woman that Nora could only guess at.
"Something on your mind, Jack?"
Dark eyes darted upwards for a moment before looking away once more, "Shit, that obvious huh?"
Jack had always been withdrawn, hostile to any attempts at kindness. But the months of living together had served Nora well. Even though reading Jack was hardly a walk in the part, the commander couldn't help but grin, "Maybe a little."
Her companion seemed to glower a little then, the frown on her lips turning into a scowl as her hands slowly curled into fists.
"Come on, Jack." Nora said after a while, crossing the room to sit in one of the low couches across from her bed, easing herself slowly down so as to avoid the terrible pain that still had the power to leave her feeling crippled.
"You're here for a reason."
There was another deafening silence before the younger woman spoke, her voice harsh with strain, anger and bitterness.
"I've had enough, Shepard."
Nora blinked, purple-blue eyes not truly comprehending for a moment. There had been many times when she had known Jack was only aboard because of the information she had been promised, but she had almost assumed they had moved past that. She knew they had, the word 'friend' was not as much a stretch of the imagination as it once was. So what had caused this change?
Lips pressed into a grim line, "What makes you say that?"
"I'm sick of it… the Illusive man, the dumb cheerleader... this fucked up mission and my damn useless arm." Jack jerked her sharp chin to where the wound lay beneath thick gauze. "I need an out, Shepard."
"I'm not about to let you jump ship, Jack."
The words were hard, uncompromising, laced with iron will.
"I'm not talking about walking away, Shepard. I'm talking about doing something familiar."
Nora blinked, no longer quite sure she was understanding, "You're saying that you're… homesick? Or is it that you're feeling nostalgic for the good old days when you just killed indiscriminately?"
The commander didn't know whether to feel amused or angry. "I thought you didn't need to do that anymore."
"We can't just become saints because we want to be." Jack responded blandly, "We all have our vices."
Nora's eyes flickered to her bedside table, her lips twisting into a self-depreciating smile, "We do, don't we?"
"That's why I need this, Shepard"
The commander fell silent once more, her mind racing as she considered the possibilities, the different ways with which to deal with the request. Unbidden, Miranda's warnings, her list of complaints, drifted through her mind, making Nora loath to listen to reason.
Purple-blue eyes closed momentarily as she came to a decision.
"Alright." Nora sighed softly, hoping she was doing the right thing. "Here's our problem. The further we move in the mission the more we have to do; and while it was fine in the beginning, we can't keep dragging the entire team around from one planet to the next doing everything like one big, happy family. What we need is flexibility."
Nora watched as Jack's fists slowly uncurled, began to listen.
"Yeah, I get that. What do you need me to do?"
"Take Grunt and Mordin with you, go to Omega." The instructions were spoken slowly, thoughtfully. "I received news about another potential member for the team, and because time is of the essence I can't spare the extra time. I need someone to rendezvous with him and bring him back, no complications and no questions."
"If I'm going to do this mission Shepard I'm not bringing anyone along. Those two will just slow me down."
There was a moment of tense silence; allowing Jack to lead a mission was one thing, but to do it alone?
There was no turning back now that the offer had been made.
"I'll have his dossier sent to you," Nora folded her hands resolutely in her lap, "His name is Zaeed Massani. If the report is anything to go by, he's ruthless with a killing streak that I think you'd enjoy."
"No shit?" There was a flicker of a smile on Jack's face as she turned to go, "That almost makes it sound like you're not sending me on a babysitting mission."
"Well I am trying to keep you on your toes," Nora's smile was faint, "Just watch yourself."
The younger woman just scoffed, "As if you need to be the one telling me that."
And as the door closed behind her, Nora tried to convince herself that she wasn't being spiteful towards Miranda as much as she was allowing Jack her freedom.
Nora walked out of the briefing room feeling more worn out than she would have liked. The mission was quickly coming to a head, and now it sounded like they would be traveling to the center of the universe itself to find the Collectors.
And if such a situation was not complicated enough, both Jacob and Miranda had shown to be of entirely opposite opinions on what to do next, retrieving the IFF or finishing the last of the dossiers. At least Nora had already sent Jack out to complete one of the smaller tasks, it was one small consolation for a woman whose 'to do' list seemed to be ever expanding.
"Commander."
She turned to find Thane once more out of his room on the ship, an uncharacteristic action that was quickly becoming anything but. Strange but as she looked at him Nora was suddenly struck by how very morbidly ironic it was that Thane, who was dying, had decided to take Life Support as his refuge.
Unsure as to why she had thought of such things now, Nora merely smiled.
"Yes, Thane?"
"Kasumi was given a room on the second floor, Siha. She… wishes to speak with you."
Nora smiled, "You're starting to sound like Kelly."
Shifting slightly, the drell seemed to shrug, "The yeoman had attempted to speak with her but was quickly dismissed."
"Really?" Nora was surprised, "Nothing bad happened, I hope."
"I suspect not, the yeoman was in good spirits afterwards. The request for your presence was given to me by Kasumi directly." Thane blinked once at Nora's wide smile.
"You wanted to make sure she settled in?" The Commander couldn't remember the last time Thane had shown interest in anyone else outside of his usual polite questions.
"She had promised to let me borrow the rare books she had brought with her, Siha. I assure you it was most polite."
His expression as such that Nora couldn't help but laugh out loud, linking her arm with his as they made their way to the elevator. Though he didn't partake in her outward humor, the willingness with which he experienced her outward affection spoke louder than words. Thane had never met a woman who reminded him so much of his wife, a woman who had both her sense of justice as well as tenderness. It was for this reason that every moment of careless fun, of lighthearted joy, was as much a memory to be protected as the woman itself.
And though he did not yet know it, when the time came, it would fall to him to heal the damage that would threaten to compromise everything.
"Hello again, Shep," There was a smile on the other woman's face the moment Nora had walked into the room, "Make yourself comfortable."
Taking the proffered seat, Nora curled her legs under her body, shifting until she was even with the infiltrator's own relaxed sprawl across the couch. The room had changed significantly since Nora had last seen it, a testament to Kasumi's rapid and very unique style of décor. Paper books lined an ornate shelf Nora had never seen before and the wall scrolls looked to be the priceless works of art that only a master thief would own. But what surprised her the most was the well-stocked mini bar that crowded the far end of Kasumi's room, the contents of two crystal decanters already gone.
Turning back to the hooded Infiltrator, Nora returned the bright smile with a more subdued version of her own. "Mordin said that the medicine is thanks to you, the information about it, anyway." She laced her hands in her lap, hands that no longer burned but remained without biotic ability.
"Oh that was hardly a problem, Shepard." The slender thief shook her head, waving the other off, "Besides, I can't say I did it without selfish motives."
"A favor?"
Kasumi's lips twisted into an uncharacteristically tight smile, "Of a sort. I need to get my partner's graybox from a man named Donovan Hock. He took it, and now I'm going to get it back."
"So you're planning a heist of some sort and you need help?"
The smile relaxed, "Yes, exactly right."
"And this man, Donovan Hock, what about him?"
"Mr. Hock is a well-respected business man, arms dealer, murderer, generally not a great guy. And of course, his mansion is famous for being hard to crack."
Nora sighed shaking her head, unable to help the smile on her face, "Why do I have the distinct feeling we're going to try anyway."
Kasumi laughed, "I have a way in, and I think you're going to love it. Besides, I need that graybox more than anything.
The commander sobered, "You said it belonged to your partner?"
"Yes," Kasumi seemed suddenly unable to look at her, "His name was Keiji Okuda, one of the best hackers and entry men I've ever known. Unfortunately he slipped up and made himself infamous, he stole something he shouldn't. He said it could spark interstellar war if it got out, and then that information got him killed."
"You never found out what it was?"
"No." Kasumi shook her head, "But that graybox is all that's left."
Nora nodded in understanding, letting all the information settle. "Do you have any more details about the mission, then?"
"Not at the moment, no. But I should have everything worked out by the time we have to go."
Kasumi smiled again, "It'll be fun, Shep. And if we're lucky you won't even have to draw your gun."
Nora doubted that, but maybe Kasumi would surprise her. Still, there was a lot to consider before Kasumi called her back with further instructions. Getting up, Nora patted Kasumi's slight shoulder on her way out, "I'll help you get it back."
Kasumi called to her before she could go. Stopping just inside the inflitrators' room, Nora's purple-blue eyes pierced the dimness of the room.
"Yes?"
"I took the liberty of buying you eveningwear; you'll need it for the party."
The commander raised an eyebrow, "Party?"
Kasumi grinned, "We're getting the graybox tonight, so you better get ready."
"Tonight." Nora echoed unable to hide her surprise, turning to go. "Alright then. I'll see you in a bit."
She found the black dress lying on her bed, a very feminine piece if ever there was one. Nora had only to look at the open neckline and the abbreviated length of the gown to know it had been bought with her petite stature in mind, Kasumi's impeccable fashion sense of course. The thief knew how to blend in with the very best, sans cloaking device if need be, it was little surprise she would exercise such skills on Shepard as well.
Still, the thought of entering enemy territory in a little black dress loomed darkly in her mind, there was not, admittedly, much room for one to conceal a weapon in the tightly fitted fabric. No doubt Kasumi would have a solution when Nora spoke to her later. Sighing slightly, Nora began to undress, her hands finding the various clasps, zippers and buckles of her suit with little problem, her mind wandering despite the brisk efficiency of her hands.
Her eyes strayed to where her fish swam lazily in their clear crystal tank.
She hadn't realized how many types she had swimming in there now… when had she acquired them all?
Nora couldn't even remember the last time she had bothered to feed them. Then again, Garrus had been visiting more often now that they had started to mend their fractured relationship, perhaps he was the one caring for the little creatures.
The suit fell to the floor with a muffled clatter, the thick plates smothered by the durable overlay.
Mumbling to herself about playing dress up, Nora stepped into the shower to give herself a thorough washing, taking more than her customary ten minutes in order to 'clean up.' Emerging half an hour later revealed a transformation that was all about subtlety. Skin rosy from a rigorous washing, nails clipped and hair properly dried, Commander Nora Shepard looked uncharacteristically youthful.
Not that she considered herself old by any stretch of the imagination, but she looked almost normal when she looked into the small mirror by her closet.
'Not a soldier, not the first human Spectre… just a normal woman suffering from maybe a little lack of sleep.'
Momentarily self conscious, Nora poked her cheek and frowned slightly as she gave herself a critical once over. Funny that all it took for her to go from confident human commander to unsure female was the looming presence of a dinner party. At least she didn't have to attend parties very often.
The black dress, when at last she did pick it up was smooth in her hands, and promised to be unforgiving in its fit, skin tight if the material was anything to go by. Giving the slick black cloth a tentative tug, Nora wished immediately for the light silver gown Kelly had let her borrow back on Illium.
Unsure whether she was ready to attempt the dress, Nora lingered for a moment at her bed before turning to the music controls in her room. She needed sound, something, anything, to help ease the tension in her shoulders, the exhaustion that lay so close to the surface.
She had always been a sucker for opera. And so as the music began, she let the familiarity of the vocals wash over her, drowning further thought.
That was when the dress came once more into her hands, the soft fabric whispering over skin as the zipper rasped softly, pulling tight.
Not too shabby for a woman who had, only a few days ago, been ill with the worst case of red sand overdose this side of the Terminus systems. Now if only she could find where she had left those heels…
She had bent to check under her bed when she found it; not her shoes, but the very small cream colored box she had left virtually untouched since her birthday.
Sitting back on her heels, Nora contemplated the small package in her hand for a long moment, her fingers running smoothly over the paper, lingering at the creases.
Could she finally open this now that so much had been made clear? There was still so much to be discussed…
The first small rip in the wrapping proved to be enough to push her onwards, and it was only when she had fully unwrapped the little box, revealing a case of navy lacquered wood, that she once more hesitated. The reflective surface revealed her expression as she peered at the gift, wavering between actions, combating uncertainty.
Could she do this? Trust in their ability to find the right words, to repair what was damaged?
Her hands moved of their own accord, as if they alone listened to the desires of her heart rather than the confusion of her mind. Swiftly and without any lingering hesitation she pulled open the lid and gazed at the gift within.
It was lovely…
A work of art, for surely the intricate piece could only be described as such, was quite unlike anything she had ever seen or even expected. Smooth, its surface was as reflective as a mirror, and though it's gently sloping face should have distorted the image, her picture remained perfect. Tentatively reaching down to pluck the trinket from its nest, she was startled by the slim chain that trailed from its back. Not a piece of art, but a necklace.
Nora couldn't remember ever having received a piece of jewelry before, ever.
Moving toward the mirror again, Nora attempted to put the necklace on, her fingers fumbling with the strange clasp that kept the necklace closed. Too small to just slip over her head, her forehead furrowed in concentration the longer she tried to work the necklace open.
It wasn't until she caught his reflection in the mirror that she even realized she wasn't alone.
"Garrus?"
The frustration seemed to momentarily melt away, replaced by her surprise.
Lingering in the foyer, the turian hesitated.
Unsure how to deal with her, and with the strange music playing in the background, it was clear to Garrus that this was a side of his commander he was not altogether familiar with. Still, she was being foolish, inconsiderate of the damage that had been to recently wrought on her body for it to be fully healed.
"You aren't supposed to be up." He sounded exasperated as he crossed the room to where she stood, "Sometimes I wonder if you aren't slightly crazy."
"Considering no one believes me about the Reapers, I would say you aren't alone in that sentiment." Nora smiled slightly, shifting so that she could face him.
The sharp flash of the metal in her hand drew his attention, and as recognition dawned he turned his intense gaze back to her face.
"You opened it?"
"Just recently," Her smile faltered slightly, her expression looking contrastingly ashamed and hopeful, "Would you help me put it on? I can't figure out the clasp and – "
He was already standing beside her, carefully untangling the pendant from her hand; and a moment later acting accordingly when she turned, pushing her hair out of the way and presenting him with her neck.
"Nora."
The cool chain slipped around her neck, the intricate metal settling comfortably at her collar.
"Yes, Garrus?"
"Kasumi told me about the mission." His voice was a deep rumble in her ear, "You'll be going in nearly alone, without biotics."
"Yes, I know." Nora turned her head as he finished fastening the necklace, "There's no getting around it. Kasumi needs this done, and we'll have to do it her way."
Garrus didn't respond, merely brushed her shoulder as he gazed at the necklace.
The metal rested over the hollow of her throat, curving protectively, its tapered design finding a perfect fit in the space just above her clavicle. As if somehow this small piece of metal could be the shield she would be missing on this mission, Nora felt a strange tug of emotion as long talons brushed over the surface.
"Be careful this time, Nora."
He had offered up such words before her last mission, a plea to watch herself against all those who sought to end her. This time the words were an order, a gross violation of his rank, but an order nonetheless, rich in passion, desperate to be heeded this once.
"You're not ready for this, not so soon. But I know you and you're going to go anyway." He sighed, pressing his forehead gently against her own, "Please watch yourself."
There were still wounds to heal, parts of their relationship that had yet to be renewed. The trust and loyalty was there, the protective instincts that came with caring deeply for another.
'But was it love?'
Nora merely closed her eyes against the question, ignoring it by accepting the welcome warmth of his arms, the intimate press of his face to hers.
They would answer that question in time.
"I promise."
"Well don't you clean up nice?" Kasumi's voice was approving as she caught sight of the slightly awkward commander who had appeared in her doorway. The infiltrator hadn't bothered changing into more appropriate 'party' clothes, but then Nora didn't doubt the woman would disappear the moment they arrived. Not that she was altogether sure where they were going, but if her new black dress was any indication, then it was going to be posh.
"The necklace is a nice touch by the way," Kasumi's smiled seemed to grow, "Turian workmanship is..." her eyes flickered over Nora's shoulder where they both knew Garrus was standing, "very hard to come by. It looks great on you."
Something meaningful seemed to cross the other woman's eyes, but this was neither the time nor the place to ask about it. All the same, Nora smiled faintly, "Thank you."
"So, shall we get going then?" The infiltrator turned towards a bookshelf and pulled several disks from their place in preparation for their journey, "The party isn't until the evening, but between the shuttle ride and the private car we'll be just in time."
Kasumi gestured towards the shuttle bay, "I'll put in the coordinates, Shep. See you in a bit."
There was a flicker of something in Kasumi's eyes again, a pain that ran deep, and though Nora felt as though she recognized it, the hand on her shoulder made her turn around without comment.
"Nora."
The human woman raised a hand to touch his cheek, the now familiar smile playing upon her lips. She knew what he wanted to say, that he wanted the reassurance that this mission was not a mistake.
"I promised, Garrus. I'll see you soon."
Then, like so many times before, she moved past him; risking her life to prove once more that she was the leader this mission needed, deserving of their loyalty. And though he knew she had a mission to complete, Garrus couldn't stop himself from grabbing her arm, and gently pulling her close one final time.
Kasumi said not a word about the commander's slightly mussed hair as she boarded their craft, and merely smiled knowingly at the quiet peacefulness on Nora's face.
"Let's go, Shep, we've got a party to crash. And believe me when I say they don't do fashionably late."
Location: Omega
He had the little rat squealing when she got there, blubbering really…it was a sound she had long since familiarized herself with, a sound she craved. Conditioning had left her with only the scraps of humanity and it was unlikely she would ever bother reclaiming them. Besides, there was something to be said for being a biotic bitch that could kick ass with the best of them.
Jack grinned, her expression demonic as deep shadows carved her delight into a ghoulish mask.
"Hey tough guy, you Zaeed Massani?"
Heavy shoulders stiffened for a moment before the man turned around slowly, his gun at the ready. Though he was older than she had expected, the piercing look he gave her pulled at her, resonated with something within her as like recognized like; one predator meeting another. The milky blue of his right eye appeared to be a weakness to exploit, the scar on his face a reminder that this man was human. But just as they were proof of mortality, so too were they a testament to his ability to survive, and if the numerous scars on his arms and neck were anything to go by, he was one hell of a ruthless survivor.
Jack's hand remained steady, but a thrill made its way down her spine, taunting her with prey that finally proved a decent challenge.
"Who's asking?"
His voice was rough, gravelly.
Jack moved slowly, emerging from the shadows, her lips still twisted into a good humored smirk.
"I am."
The bounty hunter seemed to give her a brief assessment of his own before turning back to the desperate creature struggling in his iron grip.
"I'm busy, sweetheart, go find someone else."
Jack didn't bother thinking, merely reacted as she squeezed the trigger. And as she unflinchingly watched the squealing man fall silent at the impact of her rounds she finally gained the mercenary's undivided attention.
"Not any more you're not." Pleasure made Jack's lips curl into a smirk, "Come with me, I've got a job for you."
"Alison Gun."
Nora extended her hand, her smile appropriately pleasant yet unflinchingly businesslike as she stared the man in the eye.
"Hock."
The hand that shook her own was large but soft, a contrast to the hardness of her own. A business man against her own role as soldier, it was strangely reassuring that Nora felt very much in her element despite these differences. Earth had taught her how to deal with criminals on their own terms, she had forgotten that.
Looking to her side, Nora nodded the gold statue of Saren towards the towering mansion entrance before glancing to her accomplice.
The ride to the mansion had been most informative for the commander. Her cover, 'Alison Gun', was as much an informational gem as it was a complete fabrication, a testament to Kasumi's skills and an informant. And though she had been warned not to talk business with the charismatic, but ultimately shady weapons dealer they were going after, Nora had recognized more than enough familiarities with her past to feel comfortable with the material.
"So, want to give me the details on this mission?"
They were an hour away from their destination and Nora had yet to hear of any mission specifics, an admittedly common occurrence the more she traveled through the Terminus Systems. Still, the commanding officer didn't like it, and she was sure that the information would come in handy.
"Kasumi?"
The other woman smiled, ever the friendly companion. "I do suppose you've been waiting patiently enough."
The cockpit of the small shuttle was suddenly alight with a collection of screens, images of what Nora could only imagine was Hock's compound, among various other images.
"As you know, our friend Hock has decided to throw a party for his society friends… a couple dozen of the worst liars, cheaters and mass-murderers you're ever likely to meet. All of them are bringing gifts to tribute to the man himself."
Mouth quirking in disgust, Nora remained silent, letting Kasumi continue.
"Our gift is a lovely statue of your old friend, Saren, rendered in loving detail and filled to the brim with our weapons and armor. Your pistol should be fine, you can keep it with you; they won't hassle you about a sidearm."
Fingers flying across the various images, the infiltrator pulled up a close-up of a seemingly innocuous set of hallways and ventilation ducts. "Once inside, we'll make our way to Hock's vault in the back of the ballroom somewhere. Then, we'll case the security and start pulling the layers apart. The statue should be there, waiting for you to arm up."
Kasumi grinned jokingly, "Then we just waltz into the vault and take Keiji's grey-box… and I'll get a chance to say goodbye."
Nora understood what it was like, to say goodbye to a close friend, a partner in arms. But at the same time, there was something distinctly other about Kasumi's expression, the manner in which they were carrying out this mission.
"You've put a lot of thought into this, Keiji must have meant a lot to you."
Kasumi's bright eyes shone from beneath her hood. "Was I that obvious?"
Nora smiled, "A little. Want to tell me what's in the box?"
"Keiji's box is full of priceless personal memories; it's all the remains of who he was."
Given the warnings Nora had received in the past about her less than stable ability to store memories, the idea of this particular storage unit was an intriguing idea. Still, she couldn't imagine these pieces of hardware came cheap, or without their own particular brand of problems.
"Exactly how common do these a grayboxes run, Kasumi?"
Shepard couldn't remember such technology in heavy use before she disappeared for two years, and actually she was pretty sure they had been outlawed. Then again, maybe there had been other changes in the universe which she was only just beginning to see.
"Oh, the boxes?"
The master thief seemed to momentarily shake herself, "They are still largely used by those of the underworld who need to gather information. The 2175 Ban is still in effect, so the boxes themselves are pretty rare. Not that there is any lacking in alternative, of course. There are a couple versions that plug into the L5's to capture brain waves."
"But all of this is illegal right?" Nora frowned in thought.
"Yes, very. Not to mention expensive. Still, I can't say I'm without resources." The infiltrator seemed to look at her with increased intensity, "This interests you, doesn't it, the graybox?"
Nora shrugged, "I can't deny that I could use one."
"There could be complications, you know."
Again, the commander shrugged, "At least it would be on my own terms this time."
Kasumi seemed to understand well enough the desire, the worth of such memories. But there was a mission they had yet to complete, and this conversation would have to continue at a later time.
"We need to get it back, Shep. The mission is personal, that's true. But -." She was cut off as Nora raised her hand.
Smiling gently, the commander didn't need to hear the rest of Kasumi's explanation.
"We'll get it back, Kasumi. Let's go."
The task of unlocking the vault door took decidedly less work than Nora had expected. Kasumi was, despite Hock's request to the contrary, very much active inside the mansion. And though Nora had had to perform a few feats of social mingling, there had been little awkwardness or problems retrieving the keys that would unlock the vault.
It was only after they had infiltrated the lavishly ornamented warehouse that their situation grew suddenly dangerous, their lives more immediately at risk.
"Oh my god. There it is."
They were standing amongst some of the most priceless art in the universe, sculpture from Palaven, Lady Libertys' head, but Kasumi's singular attention was focused on a small pile of neural implants and weapons.
Picking up the piece that must have belonged to Keiji, Kasumi immediately began to work with her omni-tool, running a set of diagnostic tests to try and unlock what was hidden inside. And yet not a minute had passed when they were interrupted, an all too familiar voice filling the expansive vault.
"Don't bother Ms. Goto, its code locked." Hock's image appeared before the pair, a projection of his face appearing in a towering three story plane. "I had a feeling that was you at the door. I knew if it was really you, you'd get through anyway."
"You know me," Kasumi responded dryly, "I don't like to disappoint."
Donovan Hock ignored the snide comment, "I need what's in your graybox, Kasumi. You know I'm willing to kill you for it."
Understanding that this conversation was more for Kasumi rather than herself, Nora lingered at the table where they had found the graybox, finding her attention otherwise captured by the sleek gun that remained there.
Not bothering to ask, the commander took the weapon, before turning back to the conversation that was quickly getting on her nerves. Looking to test her new toy on something, Nora took aim at a rather beautiful and no doubt fragile vase, it shattered in a brilliant explosion of glittering shards.
Hock immediately began screaming.
"What, did I finally get your attention?" Nora couldn't help but grin as Kasumi laughed beside her. It was a laughter that would continue to echo through the vast expanse of the vault even when it filled with mercenary guards and those of Hock's guests who would seek favors.
Though Hock had done well to spend his considerable fortune on mercenaries who knew how to shoot straight, they were no match for Nora's fondness of her new gun and Kasumi's uncanny ability to disappear altogether.
It was not until they reached the roof of the warehouse that the pair ran into any trouble, this time in the form of a gunship.
"Get down!"
Diving to the side, Nora and Kasumi had scarcely found the necessary cover before the plascrete around them exploded from the force of the attack.
It was like being on Omega all over again. But this time she wasn't facing an alliance of backwater thugs, and Garrus wasn't at her side.
Trading the rounds in her assault rifle for the warp ammunition she had borrowed from Jack, Nora braced herself breathing slowly as she had been taught all those years ago.
Above the din, she could hear Hock yelling for Kasumi, words that no longer mattered, that would change nothing.
Inhale.
Think of nothing, clear the mind,
Exhale.
Find the calm amidst the noise, find…
At her next inhale Nora pushed away from cover, sprinting across the wide open expanse until the barrage of gunfire pinned her down once more. Shields flickering, Nora grit her teeth and fired, killing two of her targets as she avoided fire from the gunship. Pinned down as she was, she took her opportunities when given and had nearly cleared the roof of mercenaries when Kasumi appeared at her side once more.
The gunship continued to be a brutal adversary for both women, and even as Kasumi ducked behind the cover, the damage wrought around them was warning enough.
Pulling her rocket launcher from her back, Nora gave it one cursory glance before setting it beside her.
"Any idea how much damage that ship can take on its shields?"
Continuing to pick off the unlucky mercenaries who still sought to kill them, Nora kept one eye on Hock while she waited.
"If you plan on using force to break the shields I can tell you right now that you don't have enough of it here." Gesturing briefly to the rocket launcher, Kasumi hung back running diagnostics on the gunship. "Though there might be something I can do…give me a second."
Buying the infiltrator the time she needed, Nora reloaded her weapon and continued to fight. Part of her was becoming increasingly aware of her lack of biotics, and the struggle to work without was becoming more difficult. As it was, she held out long enough for Kasumi to spring into action against the gunship.
"I've got a clear shot, cover me." Only barely audible over the rattle of gunfire and explosions, the sharp cutting pressure of the wind against their unprotected faces seemed to only exacerbate the difficulty of their situation.
From the corner of her eye, Nora watched as the infiltrator took off towards the looming crates of ammunitions that projected well above the warehouse roofline. Half lost amidst the smoke, Nora did what she could to cover Kasumi's otherwise unprotected movements. She missed her biotic powers now more than ever, and as she struggled to hold her position the desire to try and use a powerful biotic wave grew ever more appealing.
But no sooner had she tried to summon even the slightest biotic flicker when pain, as raw and searing as flame, swallowed her arm. Choking back a startled scream, Nora braced herself against a thick plascrete wall, forcing her other arm steady as it leveled her assault pistol. The pain was her own fault; it did not excuse the obligation she had to protect Kasumi.
Several feet above, Kasumi darted from one tall perch to another, each time straining higher, towards Hock. Nora had managed to draw him close enough to reach; it fell to Kasumi to immobilize the man. Not that the young infiltrator believed she had to stop there, if she had the chance, she wouldn't hesitate to kill Hock for what he had done.
Catapulting herself into the air, Kasumi grinned at the rush of adrenalin that flooded her system, an expression that she kept as she landed securely on the expensive metal hull of Hock's personal gunship. Omni-tool humming to life in a glow of orange light, it crackled a moment later with blue lightening as she worked to overload shields and render the gunship weaponless.
Below her, Kasumi could see as the commander continued to hold their defensive position, waiting for just the right moment to push forward. There was no time to consider why Nora was leaning so heavily against her cover, but the woman was paying attention to the battlefield and that was all that mattered.
Beneath her hands, the gunships' shields flickered once, twice before it completely evaporated. From within the cockpit Kasumi could hear Hock cursing, and that in itself was pleasure enough. Springing away from the now unstable gunship Kasumi landed on the ground just as it exploded in a shower of flames and metal. A barrage of several missiles had found their target at the hands of the ever-prepared commander.
Launcher still smoking from the attack, Nora approached the other woman, offering a hand up. Hock's sudden death had done little to stop the mercenaries from continuing their attack and the bullets continued to fill the air with their noise and destruction.
"Come on, the shuttle's right over there."
The mad dash to the shuttle came in stark contrast to the impenetrable silence that swallowed them upon their entrance. Gun fire may have been glancing of their hull, but nothing would breach the thick plating. Still, it was only when they had left the mansion on the horizon that either woman spoke to one another; both too tense to do more than plot their path back to the Normandy.
Eventually however Kasumi drifted to the back of the shuttle, and it was only after nearly an hour that Nora heard from her again, her voice strained.
"Shep, could you come here?"
Nora appeared, silhouetted in the light of the cockpit.
"You found something?"
The infiltrator didn't speak again, merely gestured to the man standing behind her, Keiji, or at least, a recording of him; he was talking.
Kasumi, if you're seeing this, I'm dead.
Images appeared along the wall, conjured by the graybox and Keiji's careful planning.
The information we found is all here. It's big Kasumi; if the Council ever got wind of this the Alliance could be implicated. Kasumi I…
Nora watched as the infiltrator turned back to the image of her lover, the woman's body mirroring the pain that her hood had hidden from view.
I encrypted it to keep it safe, the encryption key is in your graybox, so no one can get the whole package. But if I'm dead…
There was a wet sheen in Kasumi's dark eyes, their reflection too bright to be anything less than the threatening presence of tears.
… I've made you a target, my love. I'm so… so sorry.
"Keiji."
Nora jumped slightly as Kasumi spoke his name, but continued to watch in silence. The graybox contained dangerous information, but what were they to do with it?
I know you Kasumi; I know you'll want to keep these memories forever. But you don't need a neural implant to know that I'll always be with you. Please, Kasumi, destroy these files. There's nothing more I can do to protect you.
Goodbye Kasumi… I love you.
"I…" Kasumi turned to her then, her expression pained, lips trembling. "I can't do that. This is all that's left."
"There's no way to just destroy the information?"
Kasumi shook her head, "Keiji was a master at encrypting files; he laced the information into his memories. You can't get one without experiencing the other."
The decision then was hardly one at all, for Nora knew immediately her response. "If it matters that much to you Kasumi, keep it. Just be sure you're ready to live with the consequences."
There was little to say afterwards, Kasumi turning back to listen to the recording again, this time on her personal link while Nora took a seat at the far end of the shuttle by the window.
Longing, loneliness, pain.
Nora flinched away from the feelings Kasumi had so openly expressed, part of her very aware of just how familiar those emotions were. Quiet and introspective, Nora sighed softly as she looked outside, trying to sort out her thoughts; there was still so much to do – to say to Garrus, to do for the mission. Kasumi's own personal quest aside, there was a sudden feeling that the end was coming, approaching with a breakneck speed that she wasn't ready for, her team wasn't ready for.
Shuddering slightly, Nora visually traced the veins on the back of her hand, flexing it carefully to check for damage. Her other hand was fatigued, but it was this hand that had borne the brunt of her impatience, her desire for her biotic powers. Mordin would, no doubt, have something to say to her when she got back.
"Shep?"
Nora looked up from her hands, blue eyes flickering in surprise. Kasumi seemed suspended between the present and past, her eyes not quite focused as she called out. Whatever it was the infiltrator had to say was important enough to pull the woman away from the memories of her loved one once more.
"Yes?"
"I owe you… for this." Kasumi's slim hand gently caressed the corner of Keiji's graybox, smoothing some invisible blemish.
Shaking her head, Nora smiled, "The alternative was hardly an option to begin with. Memories are…" Her smile faltered, "Memories are not something that anyone can ever replace, no matter how they try."
"Shepard."
Kasumi was looking her directly in the eyes, her expression serious. "If you're still up for it, I'll help you find a graybox of your own. I'll help you save your memories."
Nora gently flexed her hand appreciating the dull burn before her smile returned to her lips, "I'd appreciate that."
"Has Jack arrived back from Omega yet?"
Nora's head was still a jumble of careful introspective questions as she strode up to Joker's console.
"Not that I know of, Commander. And if you want the truth I don't even know that she's on Omega anymore. She's gone entirely silent since she landed. No messages, no vids, nothing."
Lips pressing together in suppressed temper Nora wondered, not for the first time, if she had done the right thing sending the young woman on this mission.
'We all have our vices Shepard… we can't all be saints because we want to be.'
Nora closed her eyes, pressing the tips of her fingers to the bridge of her nose. She wished she had time to plan, to think of something to do that didn't require their next course of action.
And she wanted to talk to Garrus…
All of that would have to wait, Jack had dropped out of contact and Nora would do everything in her power to bring the young woman back.
Thane had lost his wife, Kasumi her lover, Nora was not about to lose a young woman she considered her family.
Touching the necklace that still rested against her chest, Nora opened her eyes and nodded. "We don't have a choice. Set a course for Omega; we're going after her."