Chapter 10- Crazy
'Come on now, who do you think you are, bless your soul, you really think that you're in control, Well I think you're crazy ,just like me' –Gnarls Barkley
The next morning, Johanna was up and dressed long before she heard Kate begin to stir in the room across the hallway. She hadn't slept well, in fact she'd spent the last few hours trying to think of a way to ease the tension between herself and her daughter and the only conclusion she had come to was to cook breakfast. It didn't seem like much, or a gesture that would go far, but breakfast had always been an important meal while Kate was growing up. There were many times when their morning meal afforded her the chance to make apologies whenever she took a wrong turn in her parenting, and on some occasions when her daughter knew that she had been wrong she had made some apologies of her own.
She slipped quietly from her room as she heard Kate enter the bathroom and she made her way through the apartment, pausing to observe the area of the floor around the door, looking for the now familiar sight of a neatly folded square of white paper. She found nothing, which allowed her to breathe easier. She continued her journey into the kitchen and flipped on the lights before opening up cupboards and drawers in search of utensils, pots and pans. Johanna located what she needed and set the items on the stove and then she moved toward the refrigerator and opened the door.
The sight inside Kate's refrigerator was enough to shock her and her jaw fell open momentarily as her eyes took in the sight of fast food cartons that were packed onto the shelves along with a few cans of soda and bottles of water. She searched through the items, hoping to find something she could use but all she managed to find were eggs that were out of date, a package of what she assumed used to be bacon, and half a loaf of bread that appeared to be growing mold. The more she searched the worse it seemed to get as she came across limp celery and carrots that should've seen the trash can a week before. A half full gallon of orange juice seemed to be the only thing that was still good.
She heard Kate padding into the kitchen and she turned to her in horror. "Good God, Katie!" she exclaimed.
"What?" she asked tiredly.
Johanna waved a hand towards the still open refrigerator. "This! What is this? Where are your groceries?"
"I haven't had time to go to the store," Kate told her; her defenses rising.
"Do you ever?" Johanna asked as her gaze landed on the package of bacon once again. "Do you even eat?"
"I order in," she replied sharply.
"I can see that," her mother remarked in disapproval. "My God! It's no wonder you're so thin."
"There's nothing wrong with me!" Kate shot back.
"Except that you don't buy groceries."
Kate rolled her eyes. "And what is it that you need so badly?"
"Breakfast," Johanna replied sharply. "Perhaps you remember it; it's something you used to have on a daily basis."
"There's a box of cereal in the cabinet."
"I wasn't planning on cereal, and besides you don't have any milk."
"Eat it without milk," Kate replied; "I do."
"How can you live like this?" Johanna asked as she looked back at the atrocious nature of the fridge.
She had always known that her mother would disapprove of how she lived in regards to her eating habits. Her mother had always been of the belief that one must keep a well stocked kitchen and that home cooked meals were best; that fast food was for special occasions or hectic days that didn't allow for much time in the kitchen.
"I taught you how to cook," Johanna declared. "I taught you how to go to the market and buy groceries."
"I don't have time to cook," she answered, her patience already wearing thin.
"I know you're busy, but this is ridiculous."
"Look, we'll go out for breakfast if it's such a big deal," Kate stated tersely.
"You know I don't like eating fast food for breakfast."
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed in irritation as she slipped her phone from her pocket.
When Castle answered his phone all he heard was yelling. "Kate," he said; but his voice went unheard as the women on the other end of the line continued to bicker.
"Kate," he said again as he heard Johanna making the statement, 'You weren't raised like this!'."
Martha and Alexis could hear the argument that was taking place on the phone from their seats at the counter.
"What's going on?" Martha asked.
Castle shrugged. "Mother-Daughter bonding?"
"If that's the sound of how they bond, I'd hate to hear them fight," Martha replied.
"Kate!" he yelled into the phone, finally catching her attention.
"What!" she exclaimed, obviously still in fight mode.
"You called?" he asked as he dropped his voice back down to its normal tone.
"Yeah, I did, sorry."
"I take it we're off on the wrong foot this morning?" he replied.
"You could say that," she told him as Johanna mumbled something in the background that provoked a reaction from Kate with the statement of, 'No you didn't teach me any better'."
"Kate," Castle said once more; drawing her attention back to him. "You haven't had your coffee yet this morning have you?"
"No, I haven't had my coffee yet!" she exclaimed; irritation coloring her voice. "It's barely after eight and I walk into my kitchen and get ambushed by Meg the merry homemaker!"
He tried not to laugh, really he did but it slipped out anyway, keeping him from hearing the remark Johanna had made in regards to the statement.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Meg gets cranky if she doesn't have a selection of breakfast food," Kate answered.
"Oh, let me guess," Castle said; "Your mother has discovered the Styrofoam temple in your fridge."
"Yes, and she's on the verge of a stroke over it. Please tell me that you breakfast at your place."
"There's always breakfast here. Do you want me to bring it to you or do you want to come here?"
"We'll come to you, if you don't mind," Kate replied. "That way I can get her away from my refrigerator; she seems to be under the impression that if she keeps looking at it the contents will magically change."
"Come on over," he told her. "I'll make breakfast and I'll have your coffee ready when you walk through the door."
"Thanks, Castle."
"No problem. I should've thought to check your fridge before she got there."
"That's alright, I'll just have to go grocery shopping today."
"I'll see you in a little while," he told her.
"We'll be over shortly," she said before ending the call.
"Well?" Martha asked when he placed his phone back on the counter.
"Johanna has just discovered that her little girl is a fast food junkie with a poor selection of groceries and she isn't taking the news well."
"And I assume Kate hasn't taken that reaction well," Martha replied.
He nodded. "She is un-caffeinated and unhappy…a very bad combination."
"Sounds like both of them are unhappy," Alexis remarked.
"Happiness is not reigning supreme in that household," he agreed; "Which is why the bickering Becketts are coming over for breakfast."
"This should be good," Martha commented.
"I'm sure it will be."
"As much as I'd like to meet Beckett's mom," Alexis stated; "I think I'd rather do it when they're not fighting so I'm going to go ahead and head over to Paige's since I'm supposed to be meeting her in a little while anyway."
Castle kissed her cheek. "Good choice. How about you, Mother? Are you going to hide or are you sticking around?"
"I'm staying right here," Martha declared.
"Very brave of you," he replied.
He waited awhile before he began to prepare breakfast for Kate and her mother, giving them time to be on their way. He knew when they had arrived, even before they made it to the door.
"Don't do this here!" he heard Kate warning.
"That doesn't sound good," Martha said as she caught his gaze.
"There's still time for you to take refuge," he replied.
"No way."
He moved towards the door, the argument still in full swing on the other side and he quickly pulled the door open and ushered them inside.
"You didn't even give me a chance to knock," Kate told him.
"No need," he replied; "I heard the two of you getting off of the elevator."
She cringed as she realized how loud they had been and she cast a glance at her mother and saw that she too wore a look of embarrassment over the situation.
"Sorry," they both murmured at the same time.
"Don't worry about it," he said as he lead the way to the table and then introduced Martha and Johanna before hurrying back into the kitchen to fill Kate's mug with coffee.
Kate was lingering near the counter, texting her father their whereabouts and letting him know that they'd be grocery shopping that morning, leaving her mother at the table with Martha.
Martha had been waiting for Kate to come to the table so she could greet her but when she didn't make an approach, she rose from her seat and walked towards her, arms open to embrace her as always and Kate welcomed the affection and accepted her hug without hesitation.
Castle glanced at Johanna as she watched her daughter readily step into his mother's embrace, and he could see the hurt in her face and the longing in her eyes.
"Hang in there, kiddo," Martha told her softly.
"I'm trying, Martha," she answered as she pulled away from the older woman.
Martha could easily read the agitation in Kate's body language and she wanted to defuse the situation for her in some way. "Why don't you take your coffee and go into Richard's office for a few moments and calm down," she gently suggested. "We'll look after your mother."
Kate looked to Castle who nodded in agreement and handed her the mug of hot coffee which she accepted and then quietly walked off towards his office.
Johanna had remained quiet as she watched the scene between Martha and her daughter and her heart had twisted painfully. She couldn't help but feel stung by the fact that Kate so easily accepted affection from someone else's mother instead of her, despite their troubles. Martha rejoined her at the table and carried on a polite conversation with her as Rick finished breakfast. She could tell that Martha was a lovely person and she enjoyed her company, but that sting of rejection lingered and festered inside of her.
Castle had just set a plate before her when Kate emerged from the office and rejoined them, looking slightly more at ease than she had before.
"Breakfast is ready," he told her as she took a seat next to Martha.
"I'm not really hungry, Castle. I'm fine with coffee."
"But she'll humor us and eat some of it anyway, just like last time," Martha stated. "Isn't that right, dear?"
Kate looked at Martha and wondered briefly why it was that she could never say no to her. She thought that maybe it had to do with respect and she considered that as an acceptable answer as she nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
Kate and Johanna both tried to participate in the conversation as best they could but the underlying tension remained and it felt slightly awkward.
Johanna felt out of place, despite their attempts to make her feel welcome and she knew that Kate was still irritated with her as she was tapping her fingers against the table, a habit of hers that had always drove her crazy.
"Stop it, Katie," she said; the old familiar saying slipping from her lips before she could swallow it.
"What?" her daughter asked defensively.
"Tapping your fingers," she told her. "You know that drives me crazy."
"And God forbid if something drives Johanna Beckett crazy," Kate remarked hotly as her palm thudded against the table.
"Relax," Castle stated. "It's alright, everyone has nervous habits."
"Yeah, I know," Kate said. "I seem to recall someone who used to tap her foot constantly…in fact she's doing it right now."
Johanna narrowed her eyes, a look Castle recognized as belonging to Kate, and the soft noise he had been hearing from under the table ceased.
"Sorry," she stated. "You should've said something."
"I just did."
Castle and Martha started up a new line of conversation and the Beckett women joined in as before and after a few minutes Kate began unconsciously tapping her fingers again; her fingernails creating a rhyme against the wood table that had Johanna gripping her coffee cup a little tighter.
Martha caught the look on her face and she carefully put her hand over Kate's and gently stilled her fingers before another war erupted. Kate looked at her and Martha smiled softly. After a moment Kate turned her hand so that she could grip Martha's for a brief second and then she pulled her hand away and griped the side of her chair instead of allowing her hand to rest on the table.
"When are you going grocery shopping?" Castle asked as he tried to make Kate talk a little more.
"When we leave here," she replied before falling silent again.
"Richard," Martha said; "Since it seems as though they have a lot of shopping to do, perhaps you should go along and help carry the bags."
He knew that was code for 'go along and make sure they don't do bodily harm to each other in public' and he nodded as he looked to Kate.
"I'd be more than happy to tag along, if you want," he stated.
She smiled. "Please do."
"Is that okay with you?" he asked Johanna.
"Of course."
"Okay then," he answered with a smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Who gets to call shotgun?"
"You do," both Kate and Johanna said at the same time.
"That was spooky," Castle stated.
Martha chuckled. "The two of them do sound very similar in tone, don't they?"
"Not really," Kate answered before Castle had a chance.
"Oh I think so," Martha told her. "Especially when you both speak at once."
"On that note, I think it's time to go shopping," Kate answered as she pushed away from the table and carried her plate to the sink.
They headed to the market without much fanfare and Castle hoped that was a sign that the bickering was over but he was soon proven wrong as they began to argue over the best way to choose produce. He broke up the disagreement and pushed them forward.
"If you both behave yourselves, I'll buy each a sucker," he told them.
They each smirked at him but they fell quiet for the next two aisles and then Kate made a remark about what she perceived as her mother's prissiness, and Johanna of course had to defend herself.
"That's it," Castle stated; "No suckers for either of you."
They continued to make snide remarks to each other, and he had a feeling that Johanna was lashing out due to Kate's acceptance of his mother rather than her and he was about to put an end to the argument once more when Jim called and distracted them, getting a brief summary from each of them about their morning which led him to ask to speak to Castle. When Kate handed him the phone, Jim said, "Hang in there Rick, I'll be over later to keep them in line and give you a break."
Castle laughed and told him he looked forward to seeing him and then he handed the phone back and Kate ended the call.
"What was that about?" she asked him.
"Nothing, really," he replied. "He was just letting me know that he'd be over later to keep you girls in line."
"Is that right?" both Kate and Johanna said at the same time.
Castle laughed. "You know it's funny how in sync the two of you are despite your discord."
"Were not in sync at all," Kate declared as she maneuvered the cart down the next aisle.
They fell quiet and Castle once again hoped that they had run out of steam. He then noticed Kate intently studying a display of duct tape and she had a suspicious gleam in her eyes as if she was thinking something she shouldn't be, her mouth turned upwards in the slightest hint of a smile.
"Kate," he said lightly.
"What?"
"You want to tell me why you're so fascinated with that display of duct tape?" he asked.
She glanced at him. "No reason."
"She's imagining it being over my mouth," Johanna commented.
Kate's eyes narrowed slightly as they landed on her mother. "She always did fancy herself a mind reader."
"And I'm rarely ever wrong where your mind is concerned," her mother replied with a smile.
"She's wrong this time, isn't she?" Castle asked as her eyes darted back to the tape.
Kate shrugged. "We all have our fantasies."
"Oh?" he asked, "Am I in any of yours?"
A sly smile spread across her lips and she once again began to push the cart forward.
"Wait," he said. "You can't just smile like that and then walk away without answering!"
"Sure I can."
"But that's not fair!" he protested. "If you tell me one of yours, I'll tell you one of mine."
"I didn't ask to know yours," Kate replied.
"I'm willing to share anyway," he told her.
"I'm not saying anything."
"I'll convince you," he said confidently.
"If you do," Johanna said; "Do it when I'm not in earshot, I don't want to know."
"Right," he answered. "Moving on."
Castle steered them down the aisle that contained books and magazines. "This is a good aisle for the two of you," he stated.
"Why is that?" Johanna asked.
"Because I think it would be a good idea for you both to stock up on reading materials," Castle answered.
"Why?" Kate asked as she scanned the magazine titles.
"Because, if you're reading you may not be so inclined to argue with one another."
"What you really mean," Johanna stated, "Is that it cuts down on the need for conversation."
Castle nodded. "That too."
Her mother frowned. "I'm trying to build up the need for conversation."
"I understand that," he replied. "But so far it hasn't gone well, so maybe while reading a book or magazine you'll stumble across something the two of you can discuss without yelling at each other."
"I see your point," Johanna answered as she joined Kate at the display.
Kate shook her head as she plucked magazines from the shelf and threw them into the buggy.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," she replied. "I was just thinking that maybe you should get a job with the U.N. and broker a few peace treaties."
He considered the thought for a moment as both women continued to add books and magazines to the cart. "I probably couldn't do any worse than the people who already hold those positions."
"Probably not," Kate agreed as she took her place at the handle of the cart.
"Oh, I got an even better idea," he announced.
"I can't wait to hear it," Kate answered as Johanna continued to browse.
He grinned. "How about 'Castle for President'."
Kate laughed and he saw a smile slide across Johanna's lips as she read the back of a book.
"I can just see it now," Kate stated. "You'd be inviting foreign heads of state to poker games at the White House and declaring national holidays in honor of yourself."
"Don't be jealous," he replied. "I'll declare a holiday for you too."
"Really? What will you call it?"
"Kate Beckett day?" he said and she laughed.
"Wow for a writer that's so unoriginal," she told him.
"How about 'National worship your muse day'?"
Kate rolled her eyes as her mother laughed. "You just lost my vote."
"Alright," he replied; "Forget the holiday, how about a statue?"
She shook her head. "No thanks."
"I'll think of some tribute for you," he told her. "I won't leave you behind as I take the helm of this great nation of ours."
"You're so certain that you'd win the election," Kate commented.
"How could I not win?" he asked, "I have the x factor."
"Who told you that?" Johanna asked.
"My mother," he answered.
"That's what I thought," she replied.
He turned his attention back to Kate. "I'd let you be my bodyguard, but I have to give those jobs to Ryan and Esposito, and besides the uniforms aren't sexy."
Kate glared at him playfully and Johanna turned to face him. "You do realize that I'm her mother, right?"
He nodded. "I was there for the reading of the DNA," he said quietly.
"Also known as the day my life officially went to hell in a fancy handbag," Kate stated.
"Anyway," Castle said before that comment escalated into another argument; "I figure I can make Lanie the Surgeon General."
"Even though she's an M.E.?" Kate asked.
"Who better to tell people what could kill them?"
She considered it for a second. "Good point."
"My writer friends can be my advisors, along with Alexis of course."
"What about Gates?" Kate asked. "Any plans for her?"
Castle smiled at her. "I'll make her an ambassador to some far way country where she can no longer torment you."
Kate looked at him with affection. "You just re-won my vote."
"And I know what you can do with Katie," Johanna spoke.
"What's that?" he asked.
"She can be First Lady."
"I'm going back and look at that duct tape again," Kate announced; but Castle wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her in place.
"No," he said excitedly; "That's a great idea; I can see us now, waving to our admirers…"
"Oh God," she mumbled.
"Our pictures on the covers of magazines with the captions 'Hottest President and First Lady in history'."
"You've just slipped into a whole new realm of delusion," she told him as she began to push the cart once more.
"You know you like the idea," Castle teased. "You know you're thinking about which designer to get to make your gown for the inaugural ball."
She laughed. "If that's what you want to believe."
"I bet it's one of your fantasies," he remarked, his eyes twinkling merrily.
"You got me, Castle," she stated. "Every night I fantasize about marrying you and helping you become President."
He grinned. "It is the first step in world domination."
"Now you're taking over the world?" she asked.
"If the Presidency goes well I'd consider it."
"What's your campaign slogan going to be, Rick?" Johanna asked.
He smiled at her. "With Castle there's no hassle."
Kate laughed. "I'm going to have to beg to differ on that one."
"That's no surprise," he told her; "But since I'm making you First Lady I'm sure you can overlook it."
"A good First Lady would," she agreed.
"That's right, you'll overlook things and you'll dress sexy."
"I didn't agree to that."
"You will," he told her. "I'll work my charm on you."
"You think I'm so easily charmed?"
"Well I'm still here, aren't I?" Castle asked.
"I wasn't aware that charm has anything to do with it."
"Of course it does, my charm, my good looks, my insight, my compassionate nature, my kindness, my generosity, the list goes on and on."
"It's good to know that you won't be a conceited President, Rick," Johanna remarked as they picked up a few last things.
"Are you making fun of me?" he said teasingly to Kate's mother.
She smirked. "Would I do that to the man who is going to make my daughter First Lady?"
"I think it's highly possible," he replied.
Johanna nodded. "Me too."
"I'm telling Jim on you," he told her.
"Go ahead," she laughed.
They headed towards the checkout and Johanna turned to Kate. "I'll pay for half."
"No you won't" Kate replied tartly.
"Yes, I will, you wouldn't be buying all of this if I wasn't with you."
"That's beside the point."
"I'll pay my share," she stated once again.
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because I said so!" Kate exclaimed.
"That used to be my line."
"Not anymore."
"I don't expect you to support me while I'm staying with you."
"It's my apartment, my kitchen, my groceries, I'll pay," Kate argued.
"Can you stop being stubborn for five minutes?" Johanna asked.
"No, I guess I can't."
"Ladies," Castle stated. "Let's tone it down."
"You're worse now than when you were a teenager!" Johanna remarked.
"That's probably because I liked you back then."
Johanna's teeth sunk into her bottom lip momentarily. "I know you don't like me now, but I still love you."
"Yeah, right."
"And I'm going to pay half whether you like it or not."
Kate glared at her. "I don't want your money and I won't touch anything you pay for."
"That's real mature, Katie."
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that."
"I have a solution," Castle stated. "I'll pay for all of it if you go back to not arguing with one another."
"No!" they both stated at the same time.
"Fine," he said as he looked at Kate. "I'm going to take your mother over there and have a word with her," he told her as he pointed to the front of the store.
"You do that," Kate responded as she began to unload the buggy.
Castle gently grasped Johanna's elbow and led her away from Kate. "Okay," he said; "You're both having a bad morning, I get that but one of you has to know when to stop and that person is probably going to have to be you."
Johanna looked at him, her jaw tight with frustration. "It's bad enough that I'm invading her home, she shouldn't have to pay my way."
"I understand that you feel that way; Kate doesn't like anyone doing her too many favors either but you have your fist wrapped around her pig tails and you're yanking too hard, let go."
"But…"
"Let it go," he stated. "She can afford a cart full of groceries."
Johanna turned her head away for a moment and then she nodded in defeat.
"One more piece of advice," he stated.
"What?"
"Never piss her off before she has her coffee, she's very cranky without her caffeine and if you make her mad before she has it, none of us are going to have a good day. Trust me, I know," he told her.
"More personal experience?" she asked.
"Yes, and it wasn't pretty."
"I'll try to avoid making her angry pre-coffee," Johanna stated.
"Good, we're all settled then," he replied as he led her back to the register where Kate was being waited on.
"Good news," he announced; "You get to pay."
She looked at him. "There was never any doubt in my mind about that."
"But now it's official," he told her.
The cashier scanned the bottles of wine and looked from Kate to Johanna and then back to Kate again. "Mother visiting?" she asked.
"Yeah," Kate replied unhappily.
"I feel your pain," the woman told her. "I just sent mine back to Chicago last week and I'm not afraid to admit that I popped open a cheap bottle of champagne to celebrate her departure."
Kate smiled at her. "When it's time for her to go I'm going to splurge on an expensive bottle."
Johanna opened her mouth to say something but Castle raised a hand and silenced her. "Let it go and I'll make sure you get a bottle of your own when the time comes."
Johanna stayed silent and Kate swiped her bank card and paid for their groceries. As he followed them out of the store he thought he heard the other patrons sigh with relief, but that might've just been his imagination. The car ride back to her apartment was silent, much to his relief and probably theirs but once they were in the kitchen shuffling around each other the bickering started up again.
"That's enough!" he yelled to get their attention as they argued over what all Johanna was allowed to throw away from Kate's fast food collection. They turned and looked at him and he pointed at the chairs of the kitchen table. "Sit down."
Once they were seated, side by side, thanks to his guidance of them, he took a seat across from them. "We have a major problem here," Castle stated.
"Really?" Kate asked. "I hadn't noticed."
He smiled at her. "You're so cute when you're sarcastic."
"Thanks."
"Anyway," he began again; "You're stuck together for the foreseeable future so you're going to have to learn how to co-exist with one another. I know it's been a long time since you lived under the same roof together but I think you can do this if you both put your minds to it."
"And what are your suggestions for that?" Kate asked.
"First of all, you both need to relax a little."
When they both looked at him as though he was crazy, he continued on. "I know, it's stressful, you're in a bad situation and you're both worried and scared and you each have your own agendas regarding one another but you both need to take a step back and relax."
"That's it?" Johanna asked; obviously as unimpressed as her daughter.
"No, there's more."
"Let's hear it," she said.
"You need boundaries," he stated. "You need to know when you've pushed each other too far. When it gets intense like it was a few minutes ago, one of you needs to call a time out and you both need to walk away and take some time to calm down. Give each other a little space and quit pushing each other so much. You need to find a way to make this work, because as much as I hate it to say it, this situation that you're both in now is dangerous…"
"We know that, Castle," Kate stated.
"I know you know it," he replied. "But what I'm trying to make you both understand is that there may come a moment when you need each other and you'll have no choice but to work together and you're going to need to be able to do that. I know it's difficult but both of you, for the sake of your own sanity and that of those around you, please try to be a little calmer, okay?"
Neither of them said anything for a minute and then they nodded in agreement and returned to their tasks without argument.
Ryan and Esposito showed up an hour later to check on things.
"Any problems?" Esposito asked.
"Not the kind you mean," Beckett answered.
He nodded. "No notes?"
"No, I doubt we'll hear from our note writer just yet."
"Why?" Johanna asked.
"Because they'll want to wait awhile and let us get comfortable so they can catch us off guard," she explained.
"But don't worry," Ryan said to Johanna. "We'll be watching for him."
"Patrols didn't report any suspicious activity last night," Esposito added.
"Good," Kate answered and a part of her relaxed as her gaze caught sight of her gun which she had laid on the coffee table.
"Have you been keeping them entertained, Castle?" Ryan asked.
He shook his head. "No, I've been brokering the peace talks."
Ryan and Esposito looked back and forth between Johanna and Kate, who were still uneasy with each other and then looked back to Castle.
"Good luck with that," Esposito stated as he and Ryan moved towards the door.
"By the way, Beckett," Ryan said; "There's a nice stack of paperwork on your desk awaiting your return."
She smirked. "I can't wait."
"We knew you'd be thrilled."
"If I get anymore thrilled this week," Kate said seriously; "They may have to put me away."
"See you tomorrow," they each said with a laugh and then they left and she relocked the door and rejoined Castle on the sofa.
Johanna retreated to the kitchen and stayed there, giving Kate space and familiarizing herself with everything and then made herself a cup of tea. She allowed herself to subtly observe the couple in the living room as she found the dynamic between them fascinating, to say the least. They reminded her of herself and Jim back when they had only been friends and colleagues. Back then he was the only one who really understood her and he had been the person she trusted the most. Jim had been the friend she went to when she needed to vent her frustrations and he had always listened patiently and offered suggestions. He was the one who built up her confidence every time someone knocked her down. Jim had been her defender, her protector, her best friend, her shoulder to cry on and ultimately the love of her life and she had always hoped that Kate would find a man who could give her those same things and it appeared that she had in Richard Castle.
Rick appeared very adept at handling her temperamental daughter, he seemed able to pull her back when she was about to explode and he casually and easily defused tension wherever possible with a joke or comment that made her laugh or he'd distract her with a new line of conversation. He was able to soothe Kate with the simplest touch of his hand and it was becoming clear to her that no one understood her daughter the way he did.
He was attentive to her needs, respective of her silences, patient during her outbursts and consoling when the occasion called for it, and most of all, Johanna thought to herself, was the quiet way he loved her, and it was so very clear from the way he looked at her that he did indeed love her and that knowledge brought her a measure of peace as she reached for one of the magazines that had been left on the table.
It was after four when Castle opened the door and allowed Jim inside.
"How are they doing, Rick?" he asked as his gaze caught sight of Kate on the sofa and then Johanna as she entered the room from the kitchen.
Castle looked at his watch. "Well it's been a few hours since they last argued."
"That's good."
"Of course they haven't spoken in awhile either," he added.
Jim smiled. "I should've known."
"We've been waiting for you to get here and keep us in line," Kate commented with a raised brow.
Her father laughed as he crossed the room and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "You weren't supposed to tell them that part, Rick," he said as he moved to Johanna's side and kissed her cheek.
"Sorry," he replied. "I didn't realize it was a surprise."
They talked for awhile longer and then Castle rose from the place he had retaken next to Kate and said his goodbyes.
"I'll walk out to the hallway with you," she stated before turning to her father. "I'll be right back."
She closed the door after they stepped outside and they made small talk for a few minutes while he waited for Kate to say whatever it was that was on her mind. Her demeanor changed and he knew that she was finally ready.
"I'm sorry," she told him as she ran a hand through her hair.
He looked at her in puzzlement. "For what?"
"For today, for dragging you into this mess, for having to have you provide my breakfast and feed my mother and for anything else that has gone down today."
"First of all you didn't drag me into anything, I volunteered, just like I always do," he told her which elicited a small smile from her.
"Secondly, feeding you wasn't a problem; it's something I do on occasion because we're friends, and you have returned the favor on several occasions. Throwing in a plate for your mother didn't deprive anyone of anything. No one's going hungry tonight because I entertained guests this morning," Castle stated and she gave a soft laugh in response.
"Third, and perhaps most importantly, you have nothing to be sorry for. I said I would be here for you and I am, just like you're there for me when I'm suffering from some type of family discord. That's what we do."
Kate nodded and then looked at him. "It's just embarrassing."
"What is?"
"The fact that she's brings out the worst in me and there doesn't seem to be a way for me to keep it from happening," she replied.
He smirked slightly and his eyes sparkled. "I'm a bit perturbed by that myself, after all I always thought it was my job to bring out the worst in you."
She laughed quietly and he joined in, glad that he had once again found the right words to soothe her, but then she looked up at him, her eyes soft and she laid a hand against his cheek.
"Maybe you bring out the best in me, Castle," she whispered. "Maybe you make me a better person."
He gazed at her for a long moment and before either of them realized what they were doing they met half way and shared a kiss that led to more, each a little more heated than the one before as they lost all sense of time.
"She's been out there for awhile," Jim said as he looked at his watch. "Maybe I should go and check on her."
"Don't go jerking that door open," Johanna told him as she gathered together the ingredients she needed to make dinner.
"Why not?"
She turned to him. "Well you know what happened the last time you jerked a door open and she was outside with a boy…saying goodnight."
"That boy was all over her," he remarked as he recalled the occasion.
"You overreacted," she told him.
He shook his head. "No, I didn't."
Johanna laughed. "You told him that if you ever caught him around her again that you'd break his neck."
"I meant it."
"And then Katie didn't speak to you for a week."
Jim nodded in remembrance. "If I recall correctly, before she stopped speaking to me she told me that I had humiliated her, ruined her life, and that she would never forgive me."
"And then you made everything worse by saying 'good' when you overheard her telling me that he had dumped her at school the next day and told everyone why."
He laughed as he rose from his seat. "I'm still not sorry."
Johanna grinned. "I'm sure your not, but just the same maybe you should yell for her before you go pulling open the door."
"What makes you think that she and Rick are out there doing that?" he asked.
"Just a hunch," she replied. "I have spent the day with them after all, and besides once upon a time we used to take that long to say goodbye and I'm sure you remember what we were doing."
He chuckled. "Yeah, usually I was trying to talk you into letting me stay."
"That was only part of it," she replied as she continued to make her preparations for dinner.
"Sometimes I won," he remarked proudly.
She laughed. "Sometimes you lost."
"I prefer not to think of those times."
"I'm sure you don't," Johanna smiled. "Now go check on her but don't jerk the door open."
"Alright, I'll do it your way."
Jim walked off toward the door and paused a few inches away from it. "Katie," he called.
Kate sighed as she reluctantly pulled away from Castle, her father's voice sounding through the door. "What?" she answered in mild annoyance.
"I was just checking to see if you were still out there," he answered.
"I'll be in in a minute," she replied as Castle smirked.
"Okay," he answered and she could hear his footsteps retreating from the door.
"It's like being in high school again," she whispered.
Castle grinned and then leaned closer so he could whisper in her ear. "Sorry I kept you out past your curfew. I hope you don't get grounded."
Kate laughed and slapped his shoulder. "Shut up."
"Maybe I can walk you to school tomorrow," he teased.
"Will you carry my books too?" she asked; her eyes sparkling in amusement.
"Only if you promise to pass notes with me during class."
She nodded, her mouth bearing a playful smirk. "I guess you'll want me to doodle your name in the margins of my notebook too, right?"
"Of course," he replied. "Make sure you draw a heart with our initials in it too."
She began to giggle and put a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. He shook with laughter of his own and then took a moment to appreciate the sparkle in her green eyes and the soft laughs she was trying to hide and before he could think about what he was doing, he was pulling her fingers away from her mouth and kissing her once again.
"Well?" Johanna asked when Jim returned to the kitchen.
"They're still out there," he answered with a slight laugh.
"What?"
"She didn't sound too happy to hear my voice," he replied.
"Shame on you, always interrupting her like that," she teased.
"It's not my fault;" he answered. "She shouldn't be outside kissing people, if that's what she's doing, when I'm anywhere nearby."
"You be the one to tell her that," Johanna replied.
Jim shook his head. "I'm not touching that one; I'll just pretend to be oblivious."
Several minutes later, Johanna sat down just as they heard the doorknob turn and they ceased the line of conversation they had been pursuing.
Kate closed the door and locked it and she forced her feet to carry her towards the kitchen where her parents were sitting at the table.
"Welcome back," Jim said as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet. "I thought maybe you had decided to run away with him."
"Not yet," she answered as she filled her glass with ice and soda and then she turned to face them and her mother's eyes raked over her face in an assessing gaze.
"You feel all right?" Johanna asked.
Kate looked at her in confusion. "Yeah, why?"
"You look a little flushed," her mother said; a subtle hint of teasing in her voice that Kate missed but Jim picked up on and he turned his head to keep from laughing as he noticed the redness of her cheeks.
Kate shrugged. "Its summer."
Johanna nodded. "Yeah, things can heat up pretty fast in the summertime, can't they?"
Kate narrowed her eyes as she looked at her mother, who looked somewhat coy. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," Johanna answered innocently. "I was just commenting on the weather."
Her father was avoiding eye contact with both of them and she didn't believe that the comment her mother made was an innocent one but she couldn't say anything about it; to do so would play right into the game that Johanna had dealt and she would end up inadvertently admitting to whatever it was her mother suspected of the long goodbye she had shared with Castle in the hallway; and she had a feeling that her mother knew exactly what she had been doing…because she had always somehow knew everything she did without her ever saying a word.
Johanna was still looking at her, wondering if she would fall into this old game they had played whenever she wanted to trick her into incriminating herself. She could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she weighed the options of how to answer and she thought for a moment that she had her but then something flickered in her daughter's eyes and she came to realize that Kate was now older, wiser and a more worthy opponent.
"I'll be in the living room," Kate stated; her tone void of emotion and her features betraying nothing.
"Damn," Johanna said quietly as Jim tried to laugh silently. "That game isn't going to work as well as it used to."
"She's a detective," he whispered. "She's learned to play the incrimination game as well as you have."
Kate sipped at her soda as she sat down on the couch, flipping on the TV and turning the volume up to drown out the voices of her parents in the kitchen. She landed on the news but she only paid scant attention to it as the smells of her mother's cooking began to waft through the air. Her eyes began to feel heavy, the restless night she had endured the evening before catching up with her and she sat down her drink on the stand and then shifted around so she could curl up on the sofa. Her eyes flicked to the door, making sure that she had locked it even though she knew she had, and then her gaze landed on her gun which was lying within easy reach on the coffee table. There was probably no need for it, she believed what she had told Johanna. She didn't expect them to hear from this mystery person just yet, he'd wait and try to catch them off guard. For now they were most likely safe from threats. She could hear her father laughing in the kitchen, the soft tones of her mother's voice making a comment in return. The sounds blended with the noise of the television and then began to fade into the background as she allowed her eyes to drift shut and sleep claim her as she remembered the feel of Castle's arms around her and the taste of his kiss.
Jim felt somewhat content, despite his worries and concerns, as he watched Johanna move around the kitchen with a practiced ease as she continued on her task. He cast a glance into the living room to see what his daughter was doing as she had been silent since she made her retreat.
"It looks like Katie fell asleep," he said quietly.
"She probably didn't sleep any better than I did," Johanna answered as she cast her own glance into the living room.
"So," he said softly as she stirred a pot of noodles; "How bad was it today before I got here?"
Johanna checked the pan of chicken she had placed in the oven and then she returned to the kitchen chair she had occupied earlier.
"It was pretty bad this morning," she answered; "Which is my fault, the state of the refrigerator and the lack of groceries caught me by surprise and I went into 'mom' mode on her which she didn't appreciate."
"She sent a text saying the two of you were having breakfast at Rick's," he replied.
Johanna nodded. "I think she'd be lost without him."
He chuckled softly. "That's probably true, but I wouldn't mention it if I was you."
"Oh I won't, I've already been informed that conversations about that relationship are off limits."
"She didn't waste any time telling you that, did she," he remarked.
"No, she didn't," she answered and then after a moment she said, "I met Martha."
"Rick's mother," he replied.
She nodded. "Do you know her?"
"I've only met her once. I just finally met Rick last year."
"Last year!" she exclaimed. "He's been around all of this time and you just met him a year ago?"
Jim nodded. "Katie isn't big on sharing, Jo."
"She seems to share with Rick."
"She has her secrets from him too," he answered.
"Oh?" she said with a raised brow.
"That's all I'm saying on that matter," he told her.
They were quiet once more while she moved back to the stove to check the progress of their meal and then she returned to her seat, her mind somewhat made up to unburden herself about something that had been bothering her all day.
"She seems to be close to Martha," she said softly.
Jim studied her intently, gauging her feelings in regards to the remark. "She considers Martha a friend," he answered carefully.
Johanna shifted awkwardly in her seat. "I feel foolish."
"Why?"
"Because I…" she trailed off.
"What, Jo? What happened and how is Martha involved in it?"
Johanna shrugged and then began to tap her foot against the floor, a nervous habit he well remembered.
"It really wasn't anything," she answered. "Martha is a warm, lovely person."
"But?"
She shook her head. "It's stupid."
"Johanna," he said firmly, but with an air of patience.
"It just hurt a little that Kate walked in there and hugged this woman without any hesitation, and she let's her call her 'kiddo' or 'dear' and doesn't say a word but I can't call her 'Katie'. Martha tells her to go in the other room and take a moment to compose herself and she does it, without any argument. Martha can tell her to eat, she can have a conversation with her, she can put her hand over hers and keep her from tapping her fingers against the table and it was like…," she trailed off; emotion pressing against her, along with the hatred of the way she felt.
"It was like watching someone else be her mother," Jim finished for her.
She nodded and looked away for a moment before turning her gaze back to him. "I know I only have myself to blame," she answered quietly. "And I shouldn't feel jealous of a relationship that someone else has with her but…"
"No, Johanna," he said seriously; "You can't take all of the blame, some of it, yes, but don't allow the people who put you in this situation get away without taking their share. She hasn't replaced you in her life, and Martha hasn't tried to. From what I know from hearing Katie speak of her, I've figured that all Martha has tried to do is give her a bit of motherly affection to fill the void a little but you're still her mother and one day you'll be able to do those things that Martha did this morning."
"I'm not so sure. I don't even know if…"
"If what?"
"If I'm going to make it out of this mess I created," Johanna answered.
Jim saw the tears gathering in her eyes and he felt choked as his own worries flooded his mind. "Don't think like that," he told her.
"I have to. I don't want to die without…"
"No," he said firmly, interrupting her statement. "You're not going to die, you're going to be fine and Katie is going to be fine. Stop thinking like that."
She swallowed hard and pushed away from the table just as the oven timer went off. "Go wake her and see if she wants dinner, maybe she'll at least accept a meal from me," she stated as she kept her back to him, needing a moment to get herself under control once more.
Jim wanted to ease her fears but was at a loss of what to do, and he saw her retreating into herself, just like Kate often did when things became intense. He rose from his chair and moved into the living room, giving her the space she seemed to be implying that she wanted or needed.
Kate's dreams had turned dark, a twisted mix of the past and present, a jumble of memories and fears combining into a terrifying, suffocating blackness that she was desperate to escape from. There was blood and gunshots, stab wounds, and an endless parade of loss surrounding her as she watched herself lose everyone she cared about. She tried to scream but nothing came out, but through the haze she could hear her name being called. At first she wasn't sure who the voice belonged to, and then it became clearer and she recognized her father's voice and felt hands gripping her arms, shaking her and she was dragged back to consciousness, reflex forcing her to jolt upward, accompanied with a sharp gasp.
"Katie," Jim said as he kept a hold of her arm. "Are you alright?"
He was no longer shaking her but she was trembling and she felt somewhat disoriented for a moment as she focused on his face.
"Katie," he said again.
"I'm okay," she answered; her voice shaky.
"You must've been having a bad dream," he said. "I came in to wake you for dinner and you were crying in your sleep."
She brought her fingers up to skim across her cheeks and she felt the moisture on her face. "Yeah, it was a bad dream," she told him as she tried to shake the images away.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Kate shook her head. "No, I'm fine now," she told him as she got up from the sofa.
"Are you going to eat dinner?"
"Yeah," she answered quietly as she felt another gaze watching her and she turned her head slightly to see her mother watching from the kitchen. "I'll be there in a minute."
"You're sure that you're alright?" Jim asked.
She nodded. "I'm fine." She then escaped the room and took refuge in the bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face and forced the images of her dreams to fade away. It was just a nightmare, she told herself, just a product of the stress, worry, and agitation she had felt every moment since Johanna had reappeared, and the result of falling asleep with the sound of the news playing in the background and the mixture of voices in the kitchen. Everything was fine; she just needed a decent meal; even if it did mean sharing it with her mother, and a good night's sleep. She made her way to the kitchen and accepted the plate that Johanna handed her and then she sat at the opposite end of the table and allowed them to carry on their conversations, commenting only when she had to, as she forced herself to recall Castle's advice about trying to relax. If she relaxed a little she'd feel better and her head would be clear and she'd be handle all of this and keep her mother at a distance. She could do this…she had to, it wasn't like she had any other choice.