Chapter Summary: In which Gale gets punished and Katniss makes a decision.
"No," I cried out as I sprang forward. I couldn't stop the whip from coming down hard but I flung myself in front of it with my own much smaller body. To protect the mutilated flesh of my cousin. It fell along my cheek causing a blinding flash of pain and lights dance in front of my eyes. Instinctively my hand came to touch my cheek that swelled and burned at my touch. The stones beneath me were wet with his blood and the air was heavy with the scent of it. Despite all the blood I had seen there was something different about this. "Stop it! You'll kill him." I shrieked.
I saw the man with the whip standing in front of me. His face was cruel and set under short grey hair and a shiny new cap. He raised his hand again and I reached for an arrow that was not there. I was in the Games again and this man was just as deadly as Cato or Marvel. But I had no arrow and I was forced to wait in agony for the lash to settle against me.
"Hold it!" Haymitch appeared and nearly tripped over the prone figure of a Peacekeeper. It was Darius who was knocked out but still appeared to be breathing. A Peacekeeper lying in the snow was an unfamiliar sight. Had he tried to protect Gale?
Haymitch came forward and pulled me roughly to my feet. "Oh great." He shook his head and lifted my head adding "She's got a photo shoot next week modeling wedding dresses. What am I supposed to tell the stylists?"
The man with the whip straightened but something flickered in his eyes. I was not dressed like a Victor and even my trademark braid was tucked up into my cap. I looked like any number of Seam girls. But Haymitch had appeared on TV so much everyone in the country knew him. But he said stonily, "She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal." His voice and manners were so foreign to me that I wondered where he had come from.
"I don't care if she just blew up the Justice Building! Look at that cheek! Think that will be camera ready in a week?" Haymitch shouted.
"That's not my problem. I'm just following orders. There has been gross negligence in this District."
"No, but it's about to be. The first call I'll make is to the Capitol. My Victors need to be constantly ready to go the Capitol for events. They never authorized you to mess up her face. It's a disgrace."
"He was poaching. And what business is it of hers anyway? You tell the Capitol that Victors shouldn't be poking their noses in other people's business." The man scoffed as he gained his equilibrium and moved to the other side.
"He's her cousin." Peeta came between the man and I and took my arm. "And she's my fiancée. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us."
We were the only three people in the District who could make such a stand. But I knew we would all pay for it. I didn't care at the moment. I just needed to keep Gale alive. When the man glanced at the other Peacekeepers I noticed with relief that they were familiar. They were the old Hob crew I had sold game to for years. And by their glances, they were not happy about this development.
Finally, a middle-aged woman named Purnia who was a frequent customer of Greasy Sae stepped forward and said stiffly, "I believe for the first offense the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which would be by firing squad."
"Is that the standard protocol here?" asked the Head Peacekeeper. I thought how odd it was that he cared about standard protocol.
"Yes, sir," Purina said and several others nodded their head. It was ironic because standard protocol in District 12 was for all the Peacekeepers to bid for the wild turkey and then have a party.
"Very well. Get your cousin out of here, girl. And if he comes to, remind him that the next time he poaches off of the Capitol's land, I'll assemble the firing squad personally." The Head Peacekeeper wiped his hand along the whip and blood spattered on all of us. There was some of mine but it was mainly Gale's. I remembered having Rue's blood on me and Peeta's in the Games. How much more would follow? The man coiled the rope carefully and then walked off. The others followed nervously behind except for a couple who pick up Darius. I mouthed a quick "thank you" to Purina who gave an imperceptible nod.
Then I turned to the more important task. I knelt down beside Gale and reached for the rope tying him to the pole. Someone handed us a knife and Peeta cut the ropes. Gale collapsed to the ground still unconscious. I could hear Haymitch talking about bringing him to my mother. All I could think of was how this was my fault. President Snow had warned me.
They lifted him on a board that a woman had allowed us to use as the square rapidly emptied. We had become dangerous and it was as if we all had a contagious illness. I didn't blame them. We were dangerous. But the people who remained cared enough to risk their lives. Haymitch and Peeta and a few of the miners helped get him on the board and began the walk to my home.
Leevy, a girl who only lived a couple of houses down from my old home took my arm. Her face was pale and sad. I think she used to have a crush on Gale and even though we weren't friends I felt a sense of comfort. These were the people I had grown up with. My mother had saved her brother when he got measles last year. "Need help getting back?" she offered.
"No, but please get my aunt? Send her over?" I begged. My poor aunt.
"Yeah," said Leevy turning and beginning to move rapidly down the street.
"Leevy," I called. "Don't let her bring the kids." I could only imagine how horrified they would be to see their strong older brother bleeding out like this.
"No, I'll stay there myself." She replied.
I only had time to give her a quick thanks before I set off after the rest. Haymitch ordered me to put some snow on my cheek which I had all but forgotten. My eyes were tearing so it was hard to walk especially in the twilight.
I could hear Bristol and Thom, crewmates of Gale's and obvious friends, talking about what happened. Gale must have gone to Cray's who had a fondness for wild turkey. But instead of Cray, he had found this man who was known as Romulus Thread. No one knew what had happened to Cray who had been in the Hob just that morning. Thread arrested Gale and since Gale had the turkey on him there had been no real defense. The commotion had brought people to the square and he had been sentenced to a whipping. By the time I stepped in he had received forty lashes. He had passed out after thirty. Birstel remarked that if he had his usual haul it might have been worse. My stomach turned over. How much worse could it get?
"He told him that he just found the turkey in the Seam and stabbed it with a stick. But if they had found him in the woods with weapons they would have killed him." Thom added.
"What about Darius?" Peeta asked.
"He stepped in after 20 lashes but he didn't do like Purina. All legal and official. He just grabbed Thread's arm and Thread smashed his gun down on his head. Nothing good for him." Said Bristel.
"There isn't anything good for any of us," Haymitch muttered darkly. I shivered but not from the cold air. I stumbled after them as I was reminded once again of the day my father died. My mother looked anxious as Haymitch briefly explained what happened.
My mother seemed to transform before my eyes. The woman who was terrified of a mouse moved confidently about the kitchen clearing our table and placing a clean white cloth on it. She and Prim set a kettle to boil and they began taking down the bottles and containers. Prim's face was pale and there were tears sliding down her face but she didn't hesitate to help. My mother mixed a greenish brown mixture adding a drop of this and a pinch of that. She soaked a clean cloth in the mixture and then came forward.
She glanced up and briefly noticed my face and ordered someone to get me some snow. I watched her shake the cloth out and begin to place it on Gale's back. "Can you save him?" I asked.
"Don't worry," said Haymitch. "There used to be a lot of whippings before Cray. We always took them to her."
I couldn't remember that far back but it must have been when my mother wasn't much older than me and still living with her parents. Even then she must have been skilled. Her hands moved gently as she mopped up the blood. I felt sicker by the moment and felt that I might do something stupid like pass out or throw up. Peeta took me to the other side of the kitchen and put more snow on my cheek.
Haymitch dismissed Bristel and Thom but not before paying them for their time. They accepted the money but I could see that it was more than a job for them. My aunt arrived in breathless haste in a woolen coat and with snow on her hair. She sat on a stool next to Gale and held his hand to her lips with tears in her eyes. It was a rare show of affection between them. My mother ignored us all only barking orders to Prim who seemed to understand right away. It took her a long time to bandage the wounds and as the blood was cleared away I could see more and more of the damage. I felt the sting of my own lash and imagined that multiplied by 40. Gale started to come to as she finished. He moaned incoherently and my aunt stroked his hair and whispered, "I'm here my boy. I'm here. Everything will be all right."
My mother and Prim went through their store of painkillers that they only saved for the worst pain. The worst pain? What a strange thought. The worst pain was always the pain that was present. I had never had any ability to see people suffer and it was why I was not in charge of them. My mother had the calm rationality to save them for the dying who could be eased peacefully out.
They gave him a herbal concoction that I knew would barely take out a headache much less wounds of this magnitude. "That won't be enough," I said. "That won't be enough. I know how it feels. That would barely knock out a headache."
"We'll mix it with sleep syrup, Katniss, and he'll manage it. These herbs are for inflammation…" my mother began in her calmer tone.
"Just give him the medicine!" I screamed. "Give him the medicine. Who are you to decide how much pain he's in."
I thought of the Capitol and how they didn't care if we lived or died. How they let Rue die like that. How Cato scream his way into death until my arrow brought relief. Peeta spending days in the mud and then losing his leg. No, I couldn't bear to see another person in agony. Gale started stirring at my raised voice and his movements started to cause his wounds to bleed again. "Take her out." My mother ordered.
It took Haymitch and Peeta carrying me out of the room and pinning me down for me to calm down enough for Haymitch to leave. Peeta came beside me and whispered, "He'll survive it. Maybe he won't forget it but he will survive it."
I could hear the bitterness in his tone as he reached for me and held me softly on the bed. I wondered how much pain he had been in before I found him by the stream. It was all the Capitol's fault. And mine. Peeta wouldn't have been injured if he hadn't been trying to save me from Cato and Gale wouldn't have been whipped if I hadn't made the President mad. I accepted the comfort of being held. Somehow what Peeta said was different than my mother. He knew what if felt like to be mortally injured and not have a single way to treat it.
My mother came in to treat my own face as Haymitch told her what happened to Gale. We had all hated old Cray for taking young girls and paying them for sex. I might have been one of those girls desperate enough to stand on his doorstep if not for my age when my father died. The vague references to something being worse made me irrational. At the sound of the doorbell, I shot out of bed certain that Peacekeepers were coming to drag Gale back and kill him. My mother went to the door and opened it. It wasn't the uniform of a Peacekeeper but a small figure wrapped in a wool coat and hat that stood there. Madge.
She held a small box in her hands that she thrust at me before rushing to the other side of the room. Her face was flushed with cold and her hair was wild but underneath the panic, there was a steady purpose. My aunt stood up and Madge came up beside her and laid her hand on Gale's face. Gale was gritting his teeth in agony and sweating profusely. Madge smoothed his brow and murmured reassurances as Prim took the box from my hands. Inside there were neat vials of morphling. My mother tried to grab his hand to inject the morpling but he was thrashing about so violently that she couldn't insert the needle.
"Gale, I brought you medicine. You need to stay still so she can give it to you." Madge spoke firmly as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. For a second his eyes connected to hers and the cloudy look disappeared. It was just long enough for my mother to inject the medicine into his arm. The change was instantaneous. He relaxed against the table.
"Well, well. I didn't know Undersee's daughter was so friendly with your cousin." Haymitch commented with an odd look on his face.
"We used to sell her strawberries," I replied by way of explanation.
"She must have quite a taste for them. Or coal dust." Haymitch replied drily. I was nettled at his flippant attitude. At the way he made coal dust sound dirty and illicit. The coal dust my father had died in.
"She's dating Gale and my friend anyway," I replied shortly.
Once Gale was quieted Prim made us all eat some stew and bread. Madge left immediately saying her parents would worry and turned and gave me a swift hug before disappearing into the night. I tried to stop her and convince her to stay the night. But she was gone before I could say a word. My aunt needed to get back to the kids and Haymitch and Peeta were ordered home by my mother. I think Peeta would have stayed but my mother had seen him holding me on the bed earlier and probably didn't approve. Or maybe she just wanted to empty the house. She didn't try to send me to bed and humored me by allowing me to sit up and watch. I had to. I was the person responsible.
I sat on my aunt's stool and took his hand for an instant feeling sick. He looked younger than his years asleep. No older than Rory really. I remembered the boy who couldn't pronounce my name in the occasional family gathering and the suspicious scowling boy I met in the woods. How interesting a pair we were. Angry, frightened and committed to keeping our families alive. Desperate to survive but also comforted that family might protect us. I thought of the woods and how they sustained us. The days spent fishing and hunting fulfilling the call to nature that seemed in our blood. I remembered the time I hurt my knee and he had to carry me home and how I protested because it made me look weak. I was a tiny angry little thing more ferret than a person. We had each other's backs and kept each other brave.
I thought of how selfish I had been. Focusing on being married to Peeta and not on how my actions affect my family. I imagined President Snow killing Gale and then Rory and Vic and Posy and Prim and everyone else I loved. I imagined Gale being forced into the Games and how he would have done anything to protect us. Even pretend to be in love with someone. Even if it was the worst girl in the world he wouldn't have hesitated. How could I have hesitated an instant and not done what President Snow had wanted? It was my failure that caused him to hurt them. I hadn't kept up my end of the bargain. I ought to have died in the Games. Peeta would make sure they were all taken care of and Gale wouldn't be lying there injured.
I remembered how I had treated him and how I had been tempted to leave him and the rest of my family behind so that I might save Prim and Peeta and myself. I would have let Posy get turned into an Avox or Rory and Vic get killed. No wonder he was upset and disgusted with me. I won the Games and no decent person ever did. I thought of all the Victors I had ever seen and not one of them were normal.
You saved Peeta the voice in my head said. But then I remembered how my district would have treated me if I had let him die. Maybe my motives had not been as pure as I thought. Maybe that too was selfish. I leaned my head on the table and wished that Seneca Crane had blown me to bits. I realized that the answer to myself lay in the handful of berries I held out. If I had done it because I was afraid that people would shun me I was despicable. If I did it out of passionate love I was selfish but understandable. But if I did it in an act of rebellion against the Capitol I was worthy. But I didn't know why I did. Had I done it out of an unconscious feeling of rebellion? Had I been listening to Peeta when he talked about not being a piece in their games. I knew underneath all of it that keeping those I cared about safe wasn't enough. Not with people being hurt like this. I thought of the man in District 11 and wondered at my shock.
Life in District 12 wasn't really much different than being in the Arena. At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead. The hard thing is finding the courage to do it. It wasn't hard for Gale. He was like my father in that respect. Like my aunt who got up a week after delivering a baby. I guessed there was more of my mother than I thought in me. And even my mother was compassionate to her patients. I was building plans for escaping while Gale was planning rebellions. I could imagine how disappointed my father would be in me. How selfish and cold I had become.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. I pushed a stubborn strand of hair back from his face where it poked him in the eye at each breath. It was all my fault.
He blinked up at me through the opiates and whispered hoarsely, "Hey Catnip."
"Hey yourself," I choked out.
"Thought you'd be gone by now." He said.
My choices were simple. I could die in the woods or stay behind and fight and die beside my family. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay behind and cause all kinds of trouble."
"Me too." He replied smiling a little loopily up at me before falling asleep again. Peeta was right when he told me he didn't believe I would leave anyone behind. But the fact that I had even considered it… Where was the girl who volunteered for her sister? She was dead.
Author's Note: This particular scene in the book is a bit difficult for Everlark shippers but very important to the plot. It's the moment where President Snow makes his first power play and where Katniss owns up to her destiny. It's also where she starts to wonder her motivations for everything. We never know exactly why Katniss took out the berries. My personal belief is that she wasn't willing to kill Peeta because that was against the values she held dear and because she just cared too much about him.
This is horribly hard because Katniss doesn't do well when those she loves are in pain. And she's already seen way too much violence and bloodshed. For all you Gadge fans out there we have a nice little scene and few more to come. I find that Katniss is way too hard on herself in this chapter. She just blames herself for a lot of things that are way out of her control. I found it interesting to imagine how the same scenario would have played out in canon if Gale had been forced to pretend to love someone like Madge. I wonder how gender dynamics and sexuality would come into play. I think it might have been more convincing. Katniss was at an extreme disadvantage with her withdrawn personality and even her demisexuality (personal headcanon). Katniss is beginning the journey that will lead her straight into the Quell as she makes her choices over who to save. And that carries over into Mockingjay as well. She's trying to save everyone. We'll see how that works out.