Twenty-eight reviews and 2,602 hits. : p

I do not own One Piece.

To Jen567: "He is but intelligence often backfires."

To Liley: "I also wish there was Camille-like character in One Piece. Kid needs love too!"

To Moonlight Calls: "You read chapter 8 but I had already written 9 and now 10. I loved the princess gag…I can see his crew being like dumb frat boys from time to time. Playing mean little jokes on one another."

Plain Text
Thoughts
*Footnote
Singing

Kid laid back on his bed, arms crossed behind his head.

The wench's power caught his attention,which was why he invited her to join him. Had she refused, he would've knocked the shit out of her. He even had a plan if she ever betrayed him. But she came willingly, now a member of his crew. That was all. He nodded to himself, to affirm his train of thought.

Yeah he took her shopping, but that only began as a trip to replace what Killer destroyed. Her original wardrobe was so fucking prissy it had to be eliminated. People would laugh at him seeing her on the battlefield next to him. The Kid pirates had a gothic, metal theme going; he was fond of that style and if his men conformed to it, why shouldn't she? By not making her change her style, he would have been giving her special treatment. He was just treating her like everyone else...

And earlier in his room, he wanted to see her healing ability. Plus that cut on his leg burned and itched and if she could get rid of it, why live with the hindrance? And she couldn't exactly get to the cut without him removing his pants...

The pinning on his bed …well she was sitting there already and looming over someone was a really effective method to frighten them. And the bitch looked ready to piss herself. That was it. There was nothing sexual about it…He re-envisioned the scene in his mind.

She had been sitting on the bed so when he pushed her down, her legs dangled over the edge, one on either side of him. He had been leaning directly over her, pinning her body to his bed with his upper body, trapping both her tiny wrists with his right hand. She had squirmed. His mouth suddenly felt dry, he thought, licking his lips. He had pursued dirty magazines before; that pose frequented porn—a man trapping a pretty woman to his bed. Hell had she been naked, it would have been a fairly common sexual position… Captain Kid swore loudly, using every lewd reference in his vocabulary. It took several minutes...

Damn you Killer! Try as he might he couldn't get that image out of his head. It was Killer's stupid fault for pointing this out to him. If the massacre man had just kept quiet, he wouldn't even be thinking about this. His thoughts had been innocent, well at least in this context.

Killer was down in the armory, assembling Camille's new weapon. Working here among the cold steel always made him feel at home. He believed that Kid subconsciously thought Camille was attractive, which could pose a problem. Hopefully he could convince Kid that she'd be a distraction and then get rid of her. He still hadn't forgiven her for what she did earlier. And women were innately untrustworthy. A real man would fight you outright. A woman was sneakier. He had been betrayed by the supposed softer gender far too many times in his life to ever fully trust one again.

He could easily see her battle potential. But his unease outweighed the benefits. What kind of woman just up and joins the most notorious up-and-coming pirate crew? How much did she hate the marines?

He plotted out his current plan as he finished his work. He smiled underneath his mask. He had thought of something particularly fiendish. A something that would drive Kid nuts (he owed him for that damn panty song and for making him explain himself to that bitch) and hopefully begin operation: Get rid of the Bitch.

Camille was talking with Skunk about his poisonous gas bombs when Killer approached the pair.

"Woman, the headpiece of the ship looks dirty. Clean it and wax it," he ordered, handing her a rag, a bucket, and a can of wax polish.

She frowned at him. Looking at the tip of the ship, she noticed waves constantly slapping off of it. She would need to change. Unbeknownst to his namaka, Killer smirked.

"Getting back at her for yesterday?" Skunk teased.

The blonde snorted. Just watch.

She left and came back in a turquoise two-piece swimsuit. Skunk playfully whistled. "Looking good, sweet-cheeks."

She smiled back and began dutifully scrubbing the large gothic skull. That annoying baboon. I am not your little cleaning maid. The captain may have forbidden me from physical violence, but there are so many other ways to get back at you. I considered us even after the incident and was going to apologize. Forget it. I'll get back at you soon…

The grime was thick; it looked like it had never been washed. Blood caked in all the little crevices, salt deposits all around it…this was going to take forever. And that was what Killer was banking on.

An hour had passed since Killer had talked to Kid. The redhead would undoubtedly be coming out for lunch soon. As if on cue, the muscular man emerged from his room, a deep scowl on his face. He saw Killer sitting on a barrel and glared at him. Killer nonchalantly turned his head and lead Kid's line of sight to the front of the ship. He grinned, forever thankful to the mask he wore.

There stood the wench-in a bikini. He muttered curses under his breath. "Something wrong, captain?" The massacre man asked, with an emphasis on the word captain.

Evil bastard! Camille was bent over the skull, trying to remove the salt deposits off the top of its head. Shit! Doesn't she realize her ass is in the air? She's on ship of all men, almost naked, and bent over! "Killer, who ordered her to clean?" he growled at his first mate.

"I did." This is just too easy.

"And the swimsuit?" His voice strained even more with seething anger.

"Her idea. Was afraid of getting her dress wet." Although I did figure that's what she would do. She fell right into my trap.

Camille stood back and admired her work. She had used some vinegar from the kitchen and some rubbing alcohol from the infirmary to make a cleaning solution to remove the salt. It had worked wonders. She smiled sadly, thinking of how her father used it to clean his little fishing boat with the same mixture…

Shaking her head, she crouched down to clean inside the mouth, thinking about how hungry she was becoming. The aroma from the kitchen was making her mouth water, unaware that her Captain was having a similar dilemma.

Kid groaned. Her usually hidden figure was completely exposed. Those measurements looked a whole lot more reasonable now. She was still petite, but god was she curvy. "What are you trying to prove?" he hissed.

"That you like her," the blonde nonchalantly began. "After all why else invite a woman to join a crew."

Kid grinded his teeth together. "I do not! I barely know her. I wasn't even thinking about her in a sexual way until you had to open your big fucking mouth!"

"I figured it was on a subconscious level."

"…and how the fuck do you know what I'm thinking about?"

"I've known since you were six. It's not too hard to figure out your thought process."

His tone became no more than a deadly whisper, laced with killing intent. "Are you saying I'm simple-minded?"

"No, and you might want to get back to your cabin soon. Then wench is coming over and you have a bit of a problem." The masked-solider pointed downward.

Kid stole a quick glance downward… and breathed a sigh of relief. He was safe-no hard-on. "You fucking liar! Why the hell would you say that?" Kid snarled.

"The fact that you looked proves you believed it to be plausible," Killer said, condescendingly.

Kid pulled a face, one that conveyed his rage, revulsion, and bewilderment. He hated Killer's logic traps. He was about to give that fuckface a piece of his mind, when the he saw Camille out of the corner of his eye.

"Killer-san, I have finished cleaning the skullpiece. I will wax it after lunch," she said, walking over to the two.

The blonde nodded his head. She turned to her captain, who had a puzzled and rather disturbed look on his face. "Are you alright?" He looks confused and ...constipated? What an odd expression. Whats was Killer saying to you? You seem awfully upset...

He grunted and walked back to his room. He'd have to get Killer later. It would be awkward if he shared his stupid theory with the woman.

Camille shrugged and went to her room, grabbing a small box and placing a quickly written note inside it. She also retrieved a towel from the restroom and set it out on the deck. Entering the kitchen, she asked Wire for some of his delicious cooking.

The tall fishnet wearing man had made beef stew and some rolls. Taking a small bowel with her, she made herself comfortable on the towel. It was nice to eat in silence with the breeze blowing in her face.

In the kitchen, the rest of the crew gathered for lunch. Kid had slipped in when Camille wasn't looking. Lunch smelled too good to pass up.

"Hey Killer, what's with making the woman scrub the headpiece? We ain't never cleaned the damn thing," Crusher asked in between bites.

"Which is why it needed it."

Skunk scoffed. "Nope, I think you were you getting her back for scaring you shitless yesterday."

Killer narrowed his eyes, but was interrupted by Wire. "No, man. I think he wanted to see her in that pretty little swimsuit," he jeered, grabbing another roll.

That got a round of whistles and chuckles. Killer clenched his hands in anger. Kid sat there, quietly, still too furious at his first mate to speak.

"Rather immature of the big baby, don't cha think?" Snake grinned at Killer, "I mean the Captain already took care of her…" he grinned.

They got everyone looking at the furious man. They quickly noticed how pissed off he looked. He hadn't even heard their conversation. He kept forcefully clinking his spoon in the bowl as he ate. They looked around, seeing if anyone knew what the cause of his mood was. An 'I'm so mad, I cannot speak' Kid was the most dangerous kind. In situations like this, it was best to speak incredibly respectfully towards him, as you try to slowly figure out what's angered him. They usually let Heat do this.

"Master Kid…" The fiery redhead looked up at Heat and saw Killer next to him. He growled, the silverware in the room humming angrily. His namaka took note of this. Eyes were narrowed in Killer's direction.

Camille had finished her meal and was heading to the kitchen with her bowl and the box she had. She smiled. Opening the door, she was met with silence. There was an angry, tense atmosphere present. Glances were thrown in her direction. Maybe she knew what was going on…

The captain followed her with his eyes. She was still in her swimsuit. He growled. She put her bowl in the sink and walked over to Killer. It might not be a good time for this but I need a laugh. Hopefully this puts a smile on some of these guys' faces and royally pisses off that uncivilized monkey.

"Killer-san, I want to say 'I'm sorry' for yesterday. I went a bit overboard." She handed him the box and bowed. Killer only nodded. Maybe she's not so bad…

After she left, the rest of the crew stared intently at the box. "Aren't you gonna open it Killer?" Crusher asked, anger momentarily replaced with interest.

Killer grunted. "Open it," his Captain ordered, rife with curiosity. Why the hell is she being nice to him? All he deserves is my boot up his ass.

Killer opened the box and found a small note. 'I've heard you're partial to polka dots.' Moving back the tissue paper he was confronted with a white and purple polka dotted lacy thong*. No one said a word. They were all trying to contain themselves. An angry Killer and an angry Captain would spell disaster for the ship. Killer was shaking with rage. That bitch! I'll slice her-his thought process was interrupted with laughter.

The captain looked at Killer and chuckled darkly. And that's all it took; the rest of his crew joined in at the poor blonde's expense. Camille was standing right outside the door, giggling to herself.

"Ah, she got you!"

"Real pirate that one is. Hell if she'll apologize."

Snake picked up the pair of ladies underwear that had fallen from Killer hands. "You know, they look like they'd fit you."

The room grew quiet again as the crew looked at the pair. Sure enough they were larger than the one's the woman wore and it did look like they could possibly fit the slim man…

Howls of laughter assaulted Killer's ears. Jumping up, he armed himself with his scythes. He was going to disembowel the wench. A sharp magnetic tug pulled him backwards.

The woman's stunt had abated some of Kid's anger. "Now Killer is attacking someone any way to show your appreciation when they just gave you such a lovely gift?" he cooed sarcastically. That crazy bitch…she had to have gotten those in Sabaody. Did she plan this? He gave a disturbing smirk.

His crew relaxed. Kid seemed calmer. Killer however was even more livid than before, which only served to make Kid happier.

"As your Captain, I order you to go tell her 'Thank-you.'"

Snickers followed his declaration. Killer hissed, "Let me go Kid!"

The pale man stood and used his powers to magnetize Killer's scythe-wielding hands together, behind his back. "If I won't let her attack you, why should I let you attack her? Besides can't you take a little joke?" he chided. Killer struggled to break free.

Kid walked to the door, leaving one final warning, "Play nicely Killer." He released Killer. Exciting, he saw Camille waxing the headpiece and grinned. And now Killer can't even get onto her for that. Sneaky little sadist. But she was still basically naked… He shook his head and retired to his room, for a well-deserved nap.

Footnotes:

1. Thong: OK in some countries it is frequently used to describe a pair of sandles but it is also a pair of ladies underwear, you know the kind with the sting and no real back part. I read some reviews and decided this confused people...

It was fun to write. But I feel bad for poor Killer. Please review and check out my poll. ;p