"Heal you?" she asked.
"You're the only way," he explained. "The only way to cure the disease. I've been watching for years. I've waited until I was absolutely certain."
"I can't do any of that," Lissa protested. "I can't… no… you must be thinking of someone else."
"No," Victor argued. "Your powers are incredible. I've seen what you can do. That crow that you brought back from the dead. Healing Rose…"
"That was just her ankle," Lissa said.
"That isn't what I meant, though that was pretty remarkable, too. I meant when you healed Rose in the car accident."
Lissa shook her head. "Rose wasn't hurt."
"You're right… she wasn't hurt. She was dead."
Lissa and I gasped at the same time. I'd died?
She thought back to my broken, unconscious body. The feeling that had welled up in her for a second.
I remembered the feeling of hot cold hot, and then waking up.
"I can't do anything about Sandovsky's Syndrome," Lissa told him. "Rose couldn't have died. She lived!"
"No. Well, yes. She did. Because you brought her back. I read the reports. There was no way she should have survived. I tried to hard to replicate it, to see you do it again…"
"The animals," Lissa realized. "That was you!" She felt betrayed.
"And Natalie," he reminded.
"Why would you do that?" she demanded. "How could you?"
"I had to know! I only have a few weeks to live, Vasilisa! If you can bring back the dead, you can cure Sandovsky's."
"Why take me at all? You're my near-uncle. I would have done it for you if you'd just asked."
"It's not a one-time thing," he explained. "When I read about how wielding spirit works-"
"Wielding what?" she asked agitatedly.
"Spirit. It's what you've specialized in."
"You're wrong. I haven't specialized in anything. You're insane." She truly believed it, too. However, things were starting to come together in my mind. Ms. Karp's healing my hands. My ankle suddenly and miraculously better, when I'd been so sure I'd broken it. Lissa's depression. Ms. Karp's marks. St. Vladimir, even. He'd healed things. He'd been mad.
"That doesn't make any sense," Lissa pushed on. "Even if I had specialized in it, I would have heard about another element!"
"Nobody remembers spirit anymore," Victor explained patiently. "It's been forgotten. Written out of the histories."
St. Vladimir hadn't been completely crazy, I realized. If Victor was telling the truth, and really who knew at this point if he was?, then Lissa had specialized. St. Vladimir had done so many of the same things as Lissa. He'd had Shadow-Kissed Anna to help him. The blessed and crazy St. Vladimir. Followers had flocked to him. Maybe the same natural charisma as Lissa had, or maybe compulsion.
Lissa was excellent at compulsion.
It explained everything.
"You will be tired a lot," Victor told her. "But you will paid generously. Every luxury to accommodate you."
"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "I thought you were resigned to your fate."
"If I am cured, I can become king," he explained as if it were obvious. "I could bring about a revolution to the Moroi people."
"A revolution?" she questioned.
"Queen Tatiana was ready to name me her successor until it was discovered that I was sick."
"But nobody's ever healed from Sandovsky's. Wouldn't it be suspicious? She still wouldn't name you king!"
"I know people, Vasilisa. You think that I don't have any followers? I have more followers than you'd believe, ready to defend my opinions and beliefs."
He sighed, pity in his eyes. "You could have been such a good leader, too. Too bad you specialized in spirit. It turns those who could have been revolutionaries into weaklings."
"Weaklings?" she asked offended.
"Where do you think your power comes from? Earth users draw from the earth, air users from the air. But spirit? Where does that come from?"
She glared at him.
"It comes from you. Your very essence. To heal another, you must give a part of yourself. It will destroy you over time. You must have noticed that. You've been so fragile as of late."
"I'm not fragile," Lissa snapped. "And I'm not going to go crazy. I'm going to stop using spirit before it gets any worse."
She was determined to. She wouldn't give Victor what he wanted.
Victor, however, snorted. He had an amused, but serious look on his face. "Stop using spirit? You might as well stop breathing! It's a part of you! Ingrained into who you are. Spirit has its own agenda."
"And if you healed me, I would be able to take my rightful place. The Moroi and their guardians used to fight side by side, wielding their elements…" his eyes had a faraway look in them. "Now we wait. We wait to be slaughtered. We are victims," he said this word disgustedly.
He continued on. "But no longer. We will fight with our guardians! I should have been Tatiana's heir!" he ranted.
I shook my head, back in the SUV. Lissa, though, found herself considering his words. She'd never thought much about the condition of the Moroi. She contemplated society, and for the first time saw something she didn't like. Not that it mattered now. She, too, shook her head a moment later.
"This isn't a way to go about it," she argued.
Victor was right. She could be a wonderful leader if she thought about the adversity society faced. She thought of Christian's attack spells, how he'd set Ralf on fire.
I was thinking, too. I wanted to learn defensive magic now more than ever. Now wasn't the time to think of that.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry for you. Please, don't make me do it."
"I have to."
She steeled herself. "I won't do it," she told him firmly. She seemed to be trying to lace some compulsion into her words, but he merely laughed. She was the first person she'd failed to compel.
He inclined his head. A Moroi man came forward. "This is Kenneth. He's an air user," he introduced. "I think he may be able to convince you otherwise."
Lissa shook her head. Kenneth untied Lissa's hands.
"Just take my hands and heal me," Victor ordered. "One way or another, you'll heal me," he said as she shook her head again. "I'd rather it be on your terms than ours."
"No," she uttered the words, her resolve strong and unwavering. That was when the pain hit her.
In the SUV, I screamed.
The guardians all jumped again. "They're torturing us, her," I corrected myself. "They have an air user," I gasped. I was so tired, so out of breath. My head felt like it was going to explode. "He's smothering me- her- with air."
Dimitri cursed in Russian and sped up.
I started sobbing. I would have done anything they wanted by this point.
Lissa must have agreed, because finally she took Victor's hands. Lissa thought of all the good things in the world, summoning them. Color and light and music entered her head, and it was beautiful. It was powerful. I didn't want to let it go.
I'd never been in her head while she worked magic, and it was nothing like wielding fire. I didn't want to let it go.
She did, though. Victor was healed. He looked his age again. His hair was back to its original black, the wrinkles erased from his face. He looked like the man from our childhood. The one who would never had betrayed us in such a way.
Lissa was exhausted. I was exhausted.
She passed out.
I tried to tell Dimitri what had happened. His face grew darker and darker. I'd never seen him so eerily angry. He spat out a string of curses in Russian again. I had the general idea of what he said, but he still refused to teach me exactly what they meant. I'd never learn them in class, either.
Guardian Petrov made a call on her cell phone when we got about a quarter of a mile from the cabin.
As soon as we got there, the guardians all piled out of the SUV. They were efficient, deadly. Christian had once described them as an army of death, and I could see it. They were as deadly as cobras, waiting to strike.
I started to get out of the SUV, too. Dimitri stopped me. "No, Roza," he said. "You stay here." His use of my name in Russian made me stop for a second, before resuming.
"I have to help her."
"You have helped her. Your job is done. She and I both need you to stay safe."
My heart fluttered, but I told it to shut up.
I realized arguing was only delaying her rescue. "Okay," I finally said. "Get her back, please," I pleaded, grabbing his hand.
"I will," he told me gently.
He marched off with the rest of the guardians.
I realized Lissa had woken up.
She stood up woozily. She looked at the Moroi who was standing guard over her. He scrutinized her.
She let her magic fill her again before saying, "You will go to sleep. You won't stop me."
He nodded.
She dropped the compulsion and smiled at him. It wasn't her usual smile. It was an icy one, one I didn't know Lissa possessed.
She examined the window. She opened it up and crawled out.
"Oh, Lissa," I whined. If only she knew that her rescuers were there. Why had she picked now of all times to be gutsy?
"What'd she do?" a voice asked from the back of the SUV.
I jumped, turning around. It was Christian.
"We have to go get her," I told him. I didn't stop to think of how he would probably ruin everything. How I might ruin everything. I was the only one who would be able to find Lissa. "She escaped," I explained.
He nodded, jumping up. I thought for a moment. "Don't you have a concussion?"
"So?"
I looked at him for a moment. He had a good point. If they hadn't allowed me to come, I would have been back there right next to Christian.
"Come on," I finally said. We began to run in the general direction that she had gone off in.
It was daylight out. It weakened me a little, but I was a little used to it from my trainings with Dimitri. Christian, on the other hand, was slowing down dramatically. He panted, and must have noticed he was holding me back.
"Go on," he waved. "I'll catch up."
I nodded, steeling myself. I needed to stay strong. I needed to save my best friend.
I finally found her in a clearing. "Liss!" I shouted.
"Rose?" she asked, shocked. She was leaning against a tree, catching her breath. She'd been running even longer than me. She didn't have the same endurance as I did, so I was a little impressed with how far she'd gotten. "What are you doing here?"
"The guardians are here to rescue you," I said. "Come on."
"Victor said that you wouldn't come to look for me until tomorrow."
"Well…" I hesitated. "He was wrong. Come on."
I heard the pounding of feet and growling. Psy-hounds.
They came at us. I grabbed a stick and swung it at them. I hit one with it over the head, and he fell down.
I hated to do it, they reminded me too much of dogs. I couldn't help it, though. They were under Victor's orders.
Christian arrived, picking up a stick of his own. He lit it on fire, and I copied him.
The hounds backed off before one, clever thing, circled around his back.
"Christian!" I called out too late.
It attacked him, and he crumpled down. The fire went out, and they all attacked. I put the fire out of mine and hit another over the head.
I heard a gunshot and froze. Guardian Petrov and Dimitri stood there. "Hold still, Miss Hathaway," she ordered.
I did as she said, and she shot the rest of the hounds.
Once the danger was gone, Lissa and I ran to Christian.
He looked like he was on the edge of death.
Guardian Petrov examined him. "He won't make it back to the academy," she said sadly.
An idea came into my head. "Lissa, heal him!"
She tried. She really did. "I'm too weak!" she cried.
She needed blood. "Here," I told her, moving my hair to the side.
She gasped. "I couldn't- Rose, no," she said, shaking her head.
"It's the only way to save him," I answered firmly. "Just do it. Come on, just do it."
She nodded and brought her lips to my neck. All my life, I had taken blood from others. I had never had any of my own taken.
It was weird, to say the least. I felt the rush of endorphins, but it wasn't as I'd heard them described before. Maybe Moroi didn't get as high as dhampirs and humans.
She removed her fangs from my skin daintily. Then, she turned to Christian. I watched woozily as she healed him. The magic welled up in her, and slowly he returned to normal.
I began to sway. This night had been too much for me.
Dimitri must have noticed me, because I was in his arms in a moment. "Roza?" he asked quietly. I smiled loopily at him.
"I'm alright," I told him. Darkness took over, and I passed out.
TRSTRSTRS
I woke up to blinding white light.
I opened my mouth to speak. "Either I died, or I'm in the clinic," I joked as I opened my eyes. My voice was croaky. "Definitely the clinic," I noted as I took in my surroundings.
Lissa was sitting in the chair next to my bed. "Oh, Rose," she said.
I hugged her. "I'm so glad you're okay," I said.
"I'm sorry!" she cried. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you! You were just trying to help!"
"It's okay," I said gently, rubbing her hair. "How long have I been out?"
"About three days," she said.
I gasped. "That long?"
She nodded. "You've missed a lot, too."
"Like what?" I asked curiously.
"Well, Christian and I are dating."
"Okay," I accepted. I had to be okay with it, what with the way he had been willing to lay down his life for hers.
"And Victor is in a holding cell on campus."
That wasn't a surprise.
Dr. Olendzki came in. "Rose," she said.
"When can I leave?" I interrupted.
"Well," she began uncomfortably. "I can't actually keep you here now that you're awake. Nothing is physically wrong with you."
I nodded, hopping up from my bed. "I can't wait to get some food in me," I said. "What time is it?"
"Lunch time, coincidentally," Lissa laughed.
"Yes!" I fist pumped. "Let's get to the feeders and then the commons!"
She laughed again.
It was as if we'd never gotten in a fight.
TRSTRSTRS
For the next few days, I didn't see Dimitri.
I was off probation since I'd helped with Lissa's rescue.
I no longer had to spend an hour a day with him, and I think he used it to his advantage. One day, as I was leaving the gym, we crossed paths.
"Dimitri," I said.
He looked down at me, a pained expression on his face.
"Rose, you have to report what happened between us."
"I- what?" I was taken aback. "Why would I do that?"
"Because it was wrong. I took advantage of you."
"You didn't," I said. "I was just as willing."
"I should have known better," he argued. "It was improper, illegal. It was wrong."
Ouch. It hadn't meant anything to him. It had meant the world to me. I had thought that maybe he returned my feelings.
I didn't say anything. I just fumed.
"You're still a child, Rose."
I gaped at him. "Your life is about homework and boys and clothes."
"Are you saying that's all I care about?" I asked.
"No," he said. "But it's what your life revolves around right now. You're too young for me. I've been out in the world. I've killed things, Rose. Not just animals, but people."
"I don't care," I stated. "Besides, you didn't seem to think I was too young when you were all over me."
"Just because your body is-" he froze for a second, before continuing on. "You're still a child."
"You do get that I don't actually feel that way?" he asked.
I narrowed my eyes. "Could have fooled me," I muttered.
"It was the spell. I don't feel that way about you. Do you understand?"
I nodded angrily, tears close to welling up in my eyes.
I stormed away, gym bag swinging against my hip, hitting it over and over again, rubbing against my bare shoulder.
If he had just acted that way under the spell, maybe my stronger feelings for him were left over from the charm. Maybe it wasn't completely broken.
I ran to the holding cell. Even Natalie hadn't been able to get in, but I managed to convince them to allow me to visit him.
Maybe it was because I was one of his victims, not one of his helpers. Maybe they just felt sorry for me.
"Rosemarie!" Victor said in surprise. He smiled.
I glared at him. "I want you to break it!" I told him.
"Break what?"
"The charm. I still feel it. I still… want him."
"My dear," he proclaimed. "Those are entirely your own feelings. The spell has burned itself out."
"Then why do I-?"
"Because you have a crush on him! Natalie saw it and reported it to me. I saw it as well, once she had pointed it out. I tell you, that charm would have only worked if you'd felt something."
"But he said-"
"Really," Victor began. "You both had to feel something."
I tried to work it out in my head. "And really, he should be ashamed of himself," he made a tsking sound. "You can be forgiven for a schoolgirl's crush. But him? He should know better."
I glared at him again.
Behind me, I heard a commotion. Natalie was walking towards me. I felt so bad for her, despite what she had done to us. She just loved her dad.
"Hey," I said.
She looked at me. The way she moved was different. More graceful, more efficient. "What are you doing here?" I asked.
She threw me at the wall as if I were a rag doll.
"Finally," Victor said.
"Sorry," Natalie apologized to him. Her voice was colder. Her speech was more concise. "I had to deal with the guards."
I looked to see that the guards had been taken down as well.
Natalie slammed me against the wall, and I noticed for the first time what was so different about her. Her pupils had red rings around them. Natalie was Strigoi.
I felt more scared than I had just moments ago. "Really, dear," Victor interrupted. "Try not to kill her."
She narrowed her red eyes. "I'll try." Well, that didn't sound very convincing. She dropped me to the ground and went to open the cell that he was in.
"Natalie?" I asked. "Why would you do this?"
"Because it helps my father," she answered.
"But you turned Strigoi?" I asked.
"My father will save the Moroi!"
I raised my eyebrows at her. "But you're Strigoi now. Isn't it your goal to destroy us?"
"My father will help me. My sacrifice will save everyone."
"God, Natalie."
"It's worth giving up the sun and the magic," she said.
"No, it isn't," I told her.
She picked me up and slammed me against the wall again.
Stars danced in my vision. Then, Dimitri came charging down the corridor like death in a cowboy duster.
My savior.
Natalie's eyes widened. They began to circle each other. Soon enough, he drove his stake into her chest. I noticed that she was clumsy, for a Strigoi. Maybe it was a side effect of being so new.
Dimitri cradled me to his chest.
"Roza," he whispered. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I lied. Really, my head was spinning. Aching. Pounding.
He began to carry me to the clinic.
"Is it true?" I asked him.
"Is what true?"
"Victor said that the lust charm only worked because you already felt something for me."
He looked down at me in shock. He pursed his lips before saying, "Yes, it's true. I lied before."
"But why?"
"Because, Roza, we can't be together," he whispered.
My heart nearly broke in my chest. "Why not? Because of our age difference?" I didn't think seven years was that bad.
"Well, yes, there's that. But I also don't want people to look down on you," he explained.
I didn't get that. "What do you mean?"
"People would be upset that a dhampir and Moroi were together."
Why would people even care? Victor's words from that night came back to mind. The Moroi and their guardians used to fight side by side. Dhampirs hadn't been just protectors back then. When had things become so screwed up?
"I don't care," I told him. "It's my life. They can all screw themselves."
He chuckled humorlessly. "But I do, Roza. Something like this, they'll hold it against you forever. You won't be able to find a job as easily. You'll lose friends."
I shook my head, but that only made everything worse.
"We're here," Dimitri said.
"Oh no," I heard Dr. Olendzki say.
I should have had my own permanent bed at the clinic, considering how often I'd been there in the last few months.
Dimitri laid me down on a bed, and I missed his warmth immediately.
"Rose, you need to stay awake," Dr. Olendzki told me. "What happened?"
I explained about Natalie turning Strigoi. Dimitri told us about how he had found Mr. Nagy dead, the blood drained out of him, how he'd realized that there was a Strigoi on campus.
No more Slavic art for us.
A few days later, I was released again. Dimitri made me wait a few days before we got back to training. He didn't avoid me as before, but he didn't seek me out, either.
I felt a little lonely. I missed him.
Lissa and I were back to being best friends, but Dimitri had become an integral part of my life. I didn't know what I would do with myself now that I didn't spend most of my free time with him.
Lissa didn't spend as much time with me as we would have done when we'd first arrived back at St. Vladimir's. She spent much more time with Christian. I had to learn to share her, which I hated.
Maybe I wouldn't have hated it so much if I could have a boyfriend of my own.
Once upon a time, I would have gone out looking for a boyfriend once Lissa abandoned me. Now, I only wanted one man as a boyfriend, and no one else would compare.
I spent a lot of time training, studying Russian, and wandering around the woods.
A week or so after I was released from the clinic, I came across a raven. It was different than other ravens. It had a sharp look in its eyes, an intelligence I'd never seen before in a bird. The way it looked at me, I realized that it was the raven, the one that Lissa had brought back from the dead.
"You're connected to her too, aren't you?" I asked it.
It tilted its head towards me.
I felt kind of stupid for talking to a bird.
"Well," I began. "You wanna be friends?" I held my arm out, hoping for some movie-worthy gesture where it would land on my arm. Instead, it just gave me a look, as if to say, You're crazy, before flying off into the sunrise.