Leaving wasn't supposed to be so hard.

Fen'harel set his wards for the evening, preparing to sleep a while after the trying day. He had finally committed the crime of which he was originally accused- killing Mythal, taking her power, was the second most painful thing he had ever done. It had been necessary. He wasn't sure anymore if taking Vhen's memories had been.

"Ir abelas. Ar lath ma, Vhenan. Bellanaris." The words had become a part of his nightly ritual, as surely as anything else. ~ I'm sorry. I love you, my heart. Forever. ~

Had she been anyone else it would have been easier. If the Inquisitor had been a qunari, or a dwarf, or a human - or even one of the angrier Dalish, bred to accept myth as truth- he could have left with impunity. He wouldn't have had such a hard time refraining from telling his stories, or explaining how the orb had been his. But then he wouldn't have known her.

He hoped she could still sense his motives. And maybe, somehow, she would understand.

- perspective -

Being left behind shouldn't be so easy.

Fen'vhenan was only upset about her lost memories, or would have been except for Cole. The youthful spirit of compassion had felt her hurt and found her in her quarters when she was alone and still, approaching her for once.

"He had to leave but took the explanation away. He made it hurt when it doesn't have to. Do you want it back?"

And she had nodded, the next minute a flood of information and moments she should have never left behind. These were her memories, her little treasures. They were not meant to be tampered with. She cried with pain for reliving them and joy at reclaiming herself.

"You reach out in compassion..." Fen'vhenan shuddered at her brief memory. "You don't know where he is, do you?"

Cole shook his head sadly. Vhen gave a sigh and crashed onto her bed.

"I don't understand. You said it would help but it seems to hurt more now."

"Sometimes feelings are like a wound that festered or a bone set badly," Vhen explained. "You have to open the hurt to let it heal. Do you understand?"

Cole nodded. "So I helped?"

"Yes Cole. You helped."

Her visitor disappeared again, and Vhen went to her balcony. She looked out, leaning on the edge. "Ma'serannas, Fen'harel, for the time we shared. One day I will find you again."

She had spoken the same words each night since then, hoping her gratitude and need might reach him and bring them together again- when the time was right.