Nicky walked into the lecture hall and brushed her curls out of her face. "I can't believe I let her talk me into this," she jokingly complained to herself, as she always did when she arrived on campus for class. Red had been so persistent about encouraging her to apply to school that Nicky had relented enough to sign up, back in January, for a single course one night a week at the community college. She acted as though she had only registered to shut Red up, but her grades spoke from themselves. Although she liked to complain about homework and threaten to drop out every Wednesday evening when she got ready to go to school, it was obvious that Nicky was enjoying the experience. Nearly every week, she hurried home from classes with a marked assignment to show her mother or with some interesting new fact she had learned and wanted to discuss. Red was as attentive and excited to hear about Nicky's school experience as any mother could possibly be. She insisted on displaying all of Nicky's papers on the refrigerator door in their apartment. Nicky would act embarrassed and tell her she was being ridiculous, but she was never able to wipe the goofy smile off her face as she lavished in Red's praise.

Nicky was taking "Intro to Psychology", a course she chose on a whim when she and Red had been perusing one of the course catalogues that had been not-so-subtly delivered to their mailbox in early January. Klara's remarks on Christmas about how Nicky would make a good therapist had not been forgotten. Of course, Nicky didn't tell Red the cause of her sudden inspiration, instead joking that she picked Psych because she was in need of self-help. However, there was no disputing that Nicky really did have a natural aptitude for the subject. With Red's encouragement, Nicky had decided to work towards obtaining a Bachelor's degree at the university come September. Using her own history to make a difference in the lives of people with similar struggles seemed like a worthwhile endeavour to Nicky.

Licking her lips, Nicky's brown eyes scanned the hall for a familiar face. Well, one face in particular which belonged to her friend Brooke. A preppy looking girl who was several years younger than herself whom Nicky had befriended. They had randomly sat next to each other on the first day of class and Brooke had won Nicky's affections after laughing appreciatively at all her jokes.

"Boo!" a girlish voice laughed and Nicky felt fingertips poke her in the ribs. She jumped.

"I don't think so," Nicky teased, recovering quickly. She wrapped her arm around her attacker's waist and tickled her side ferociously.

"Stop! Truce! Truce!" Brooke pleaded, leaping away from Nicky's reach with a yelp. Panting breathlessly, she pushed her black framed glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiled.

Nicky burst into laughter, "well, you started it," she said. She caught the eye of the professor who was frowning in disapproval at the raucous entrance the two women had made in the otherwise quiet atmosphere. Nicky grinned mischievously at her companion who let out an awkward chuckle and glanced around them shyly when she realized that all eyes in the room were upon them.

"Would you two like to take your seats now?" the professor asked, after loudly clearing his throat.

"I think we would," Nicky nodded at him, "even though we still technically have five minutes until class starts." She wrapped her arm around Brooke's shoulder and pulled her towards the stairs that led up to the student seating.

"Good job, getting me into trouble," Nicky teased in a hush voice, "you know I'm ticklish."

"I just gave you a little poke to get you moving," Brooke insisted, "you were lingering a little too long in the doorway. You would have caused a traffic jam if I hadn't acted fast."

"I was debating whether to go home and watch SVU instead," Nicky told her. They stopped in a centre aisle that was still fairly vacant and took seats in the middle.

"That sounds so tempting right now," Brooke sighed, dropping her shoulder bag down loudly on the floor and pulling out a pen and paper, "also pizza. Can we order pizza to eat while we watch?"

"You can have whatever you want, babe," Nicky said with a grin. She grabbed her notebook out of her large purse, "but I suppose since we're already here we might as well stay for the lesson."

"Fine…" Brooke groaned loudly, as she pointed at the PowerPoint slide that the professor had just displayed on the projector, "Psychology of Personality today. Did you do the reading last night?"

"Sort of," Nicky said casually as she scribbled the date in the upper right-hand corner of a fresh page in her notebook.

"What do you mean sort of?" laughed Brooke.

"It means my mother read the textbook cover to cover and then wanted to talk about it," Nicky grinned, "I figured I got the key points just from listening to her talk. She can get pretty excited about what I'm studying. She never had the chance to go to college so I guess she lives vicariously though me."

"Your mom seems nice," Brooke smiled, "mine just nags me all the time."

"My mom nags too," Nicky replied, "but I know I'll miss it when I finally move out."

"Do you just live with her to save money?" asked Brooke, "I can't wait to move out and I'm younger than you are."

"I was on my own for a long time," said Nicky, thinking about her childhood in a lonely apartment with just her housekeeper, "and it's not as great as you think it would be. I'd move out if I met somebody I wanted to be with, but until then I don't see the point of living by myself just because I'm an adult." She didn't think it was necessary to share that the only time she and Red had been apart had been when she had needed to still serve time in prison after Red was released. She also deliberately never mentioned that Red wasn't technically her real mother and that they had actually only met a little over five years ago. Being able to reinvent herself was one of the most gratifying things about meeting new people.

Nicky actually couldn't imagine ever meeting somebody that would persuade her to want to move out of the cozy little apartment she shared with Red. She was the happiest she had ever been, although she often thought about how things might change once Gloria moved in with her sons. She tried not to let herself worry, as she indulged in all of the simple pleasures that Red provided for her. Delicious homecooked meals eaten at the table with the tv off, doing homework in the living room at night with Red reading beside her, spending days grocery shopping and running errands after a childhood of such tasks being completed by hired help. All of it was magical to Nicky. In the past few months they had settled into a comfortable routine. Nicky was kept busy with school and working shifts three evenings a week as a bartender at the same restaurant as Piper. Red was frequently gone, working five days a week and sometimes twelve-hour shifts. She still worked in the kitchen with Lourdes, but Gloria's aunt had been calling in more and more lately.

"That was brutal," Brooke groaned, shoving her things back into her bag at the end of a three-hour lecture, "I thought he would never stop talking."

"That pizza you mentioned is looking better and better," Nicky said, as she stood up and stretched. "Do you want to come over to my place to hang out for a little bit?" she asked, "I have a couple of friends who are spending the night that you could meet. Their apartment is being fumigated for cockroaches."

"Gross, I hate cockroaches" Brooke shuddered, "but pizza sounds good. I'd love to come over." They finished gathering up their things and stepped out into the fairly mild March weather. Spring was already in the air and the snow had finally melted.

"Who are your friends?" asked Brooke.

"Alex and Piper," said Nicky smoothly, "We all grew up in the same neighbourhood and have been friends ever since. They're getting married to each other in a couple of months." The lie of how they had all met flowed out of her lips as naturally as if she had been rehearsing it in front of a mirror. Alex had only been released from prison a few weeks ago.

"Aww, that's so romantic!" Brooke squealed, "are they going to have a big wedding?"

"Bigger than I realized when I agreed to be in it," Nicky rolled her eyes, "they were supposed to be getting married next month but I opened my big mouth and told Piper that April was a stupid month to pick because it always rains. So, she changed the date to June and I'm stuck with two more months of bridesmaid hell."

"Oh, come on," Brooke chided her, "weddings are fun."

"You know nothing," Nicky replied.

The weather was nice, so they decided to forego a taxi and walk the fifteen minutes to Nicky's apartment instead. They held hands, something that pleased Nicky, especially because it was Brooke who instigated it. Piper had texted Nicky to let her know that she was doing overtime at the restaurant and that she and Alex would be late getting there that night. That suited Nicky fine, who had intended to phone and tell them to take their time anyways. She wanted some time alone with Brooke.

"We have the place to ourselves until they get here," Nicky said, as she unlocked and opened the door, "except for Daisy." She picked up her dog and bestowed her with kisses on the top of her head. "How are you my little munchkin?" Nicky asked her dog, "are you missing your buddy?" She looked back over at Brooke, "my mom took her dog with her."

"Where is your mom?" asked Brooke. She left her shoes at the door and plopped herself comfortably down on the living room sofa.

"She's out of town," Nicky said simply. Red had left that morning for a three-day trip to Sheepshead Bay to visit her oldest grandchildren, Feliks and Ivanna, who were on their spring break from school. Anna, Yuri's ex-wife, had refused to allow him to take the kids since it technically was not his visitation time. So, Yuri had decided to book a hotel close to their house so that he could at least take his kids out during the day and spend time with them.

Red had decided to accompany him. It bothered her that she didn't get to spend much time with her oldest grandchildren, especially when compared to Vasily's children whom she saw several times a week. Nicky had decided to stay home because she was busy with work and school, but she was happy that Red was going. She had been noticing for awhile how tired her mother always was now that she was working more hours than ever. A few nights in a nice hotel with room service and a swimming pool was exactly what she needed.

Red had taken Gloria's sons with her. They were on break from school as well and she had thought a few days away together would be a fun thing for her to do with them. Ironically, Benny getting drunk had ended up being one of the best things that could have happened. It had brought them together in a way that no amount of words possibly ever could have. Things were still often awkward between them but Benny at least was no longer treating Red like she had the plague. The way she had taken care of him on New Years Eve had made Benny realize that she didn't want to hurt him.

Except that Benny was hurting. He was in more emotional pain than anybody, besides maybe his brother, had even realized. At the same time that he was desperately missing his mom, he also was filled with an anger towards her that had been steadily building for years. The marijuana Red had discovered had not been the first stash Benny had possessed, and she learned from Julio that his brother had been using for over a year. Red still hadn't told Gloria or Lourdes about it. She was too happy about finally forging some connection with the boy to risk doing anything that would kill the unsteady trust he had finally placed in her.

Holding Daisy in her arms, Nicky joined Brooke sitting on the couch. "We're alone for awhile," Nicky said unnecessarily, "what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Brooke giggled, "what do you want to do?" They went back and forth with their teasing and flirting. Nicky flicked on the television so that they would have background noise and kept a close eye on Brooke as she waited for the right moment to kiss her.

One kiss led to another and another, until Brooke lay back on the couch with Nicky on top. Breath quickening, Nicky slid her hand up the front of Brooke's t-shirt and squeezed her breast.

"This okay?" Nicky asked, teasing and sucking the other breast through her clothing.

"Uh, huh," Brooke moaned, wrapping her legs tightly around Nicky's torso as she raised herself just enough to tug her pants down. Nicky took the hint and redirected her attentions lower. She delighted in the power of driving people crazy with the ecstasy that she skillfully could generate. It was an addiction of its own, a substitute for the high Nicky no longer could receive from narcotics. It was exactly what Nicky had hoped would happen when she invited Brooke over that evening.

The lay naked together on the couch when they were through. Nicky cuddled Brooke close and enjoyed the warmth radiating off of her body. It was great not being in prison where everything was always so rushed. She and Lorna had rarely gotten to lay together like this for more than a few minutes. Nicky felt a pang at the thought of the petite brunette whom she adored beyond all others. This time with Brooke was casual and would be short lived. Nicky was not looking for anything serious and she always made that abundantly clear before she slept with anyone.

"Well, time to put our shirts on and greet the people," Nicky said with a yawn when she heard the sound of Piper and Alex knocking on the door she had made sure to lock. She had not wanted to risk them walking into the room when she was in the middle of a heated sexual conquest. Those lines had been crossed numerous times in prison, but here Nicky valued her privacy.

"Hey, brides-to-be!" Nicky greeted her friends jovially, "this is Brooke. We go to school together." She took the overnight bags that Piper and Alex had packed and carried them into Red's bedroom where she had decided to let them sleep that night.

"You sure Red's not going to mind?" Piper asked, "it feels wrong somehow."

"Please," Nicky rolled her eyes, "she has no problem letting people treat this place like some type of bed and breakfast. I think she can be a good person and share her bed when she's not even here. It's not like I'm forcing her to sleep in the living room to accommodate you two.'

"So, in other words, you didn't ask her," Alex smirked.

"I did not," Nicky admitted, "so do me a favor and if you two do decide to get frisky tonight, make sure we change the sheets before she gets home."

"In Red's bed?" Alex shuddered and turned to Piper, "I'm not sure I could." Piper giggled nervously.

"Are you guys hungry?" Nicky asked, "Brooke and I were thinking of ordering a pizza."

"I'm starved," Brooke chimed in, "school makes me hungry."

"As does other things, right doll?" Nicky winked, "I'm not sure we can blame school for using up all of your energy. I might need to accept some of the blame." Grinning at the blush that appeared on Brooke's face, Nicky walked over to the kitchen and reached for a stack of flyers that Red had placed on top of the microwave.

"I think we have a coupon lying around here for a two-for-one special at Dominos," Nicky told the others as she flipped through the papers. "The one for free breadsticks might still be valid too. We never used it. Red acts like it's a crime if I suggest we order a pizza and give her the night off from cooking."

"Coupons?" Alex grinned, "I've never known you to be so frugal."

"Times have changed, Alex," Nicky replied grimly. She pulled out a small blue coupon, "found it! I'll order two larges and we get a free breadstick thrown in. Everyone tell me what you want on it." She wrote down their order and then phoned it in, purposefully forgetting Piper's request for thin crust. That was not going to happen.

"So, did Marka finally cut you off?" Alex asked as they waited for the food to arrive. Nicky was still cuddled up with Brooke on the couch while Piper and Alex shared the oversized arm chair together.

"No, Red did," Nicky replied shortly. "Marka called here to talk about whether I needed my credit limit extended, so Red found out how much I had been actually spending. She wasn't happy."

"Who's Marka?" Brooke asked Nicky, looking confused.

"She's just a distant relative," Nicky said quickly, before Piper could open her mouth and reveal more of Nicky's history than she wanted to share, "a rich, cranky relative who sends me money that my mom thinks should be saved instead of spent." Alex snorted.

"So, why doesn't Red want you to spend the money?" asked Piper, refraining from commenting on Nicky's creative description of her relation to Marka. None of what Nicky had said was a lie though, even if she was using the word 'distant' in reference to space and emotional connectivity, rather than biology.

"Said I need to live off of what I make bartending and just keep the card for emergencies," Nicky sighed heavily as if that was the most unreasonable request imaginable. She had gotten the job working with Piper at the upscale restaurant downtown, but she had been giving almost her entire salary to Red to help with the rent and unending bills. She had been using Marka's card whenever she went out or got the whim to buy something, which was often. Nicky's bedroom now had a replacement stereo, big screen tv, and a lot of new clothes and shoes to replace what had been hocked during her pre-prison drug infused existence. At least Red hadn't made Nicky return anything she had already purchased.

"Well, doesn't it feel good not to have depend on Marka?" asked Alex, "I should think you'd want nothing from that woman."

"It's more complicated than that," Nicky shrugged, "and Red doesn't have a problem with me letting Marka pay my school tuition." Red had been supportive about Nicky taking full advantage of the amazing opportunities that Marka was still willing to provide for her. She saw nothing wrong with Nicky allowing Marka to give her a good head start in life, but she had been furious to discover that Nicky had been taking advantage of that privilege. She strongly suspected that Nicky was excessive about spending Marka's money as a passive way of punishing her for valuing things more than her daughter. The hurt little girl still buried deep inside Nicky wanted to lash out at the woman who had let her down countless times, but Red was not going to let her do that anymore. She didn't care about Marka, she cared about Nicky. She wanted Nicky to heal, to be a strong and capable woman, and she knew that could only happen by Nicky learning to let go. Nicky needed to assert her independence.

"I'm going to miss all the happy hours you treated me to," Piper sighed, "rent for our new apartment eats up so much of my pay that I've had to start touching up my own roots."

"That explains a lot," Nicky said under her breath, as she got up to answer to doorbell. She brought back the food and spread it all out on the coffee table so that they could eat in the living room.

Alex went to the refrigerator to get everybody sodas. She smiled when she saw Nicky's work hung on the door. "I guess she's pretty proud of you, huh Nicky?"

"Well I'm practically a genius," Nicky replied confidently, "top of my class. Brooke, here, likes to copy off me all the time."

"I do not copy off you!" Brooke protested, "I just to sit close beside you because you're cute."

Alex laughed as she passed everybody their sodas. Nobody would say it with Brooke sitting there, but they were all so grateful to have become a part of each other's lives, even if they had to be sent to prison for it to happen. Litchfield gave Piper and Alex the opportunity to reconnect, but it also brought Nicky into the picture. Same coin, different sides was the way Nicky had once chosen to describe her relationship with Alex. It still applied.

They ate and chatted about their lives, mainly wedding things. Piper at one point mentioned that Brooke might be attending the wedding as Nicky's plus one, to which Nicky had sent her friend a pointed glare from across the coffee table and said loudly that unfortunately she had already invited her dog Daisy to be her date. Piper hadn't been sure that Nicky was joking, but the comment had the desired effect of shutting up the blabbering bride. Nicky wasn't about to have Brooke hoping or wondering whether or not she'd be accompanying her to a wedding. It didn't work like that. This was casual.

When Nicky's phone buzzed she had expected it to be Red, texting to check in and let Nicky know how their trip was going so far. Tonight, would be the first time since her release that Red had left her overnight. She was fine with it, despite the many jokes and remarks she had made about being abandoned over the past couple of weeks, but she was glad that Piper and Alex needed someplace to stay. Nicky had not been looking forward to sleeping in the apartment alone and had been seriously considering secretly asking Luschek to stay over with her before she'd made plans with her friends. Nicky had seen Luschek sporadically since New Year's Eve and she felt he would have been a safer option to have spend the night over Brooke because he seemed to understand the concept of 'No Strings Attached' a little better.

The message on her phone turned out not to be from Red though. It was from Lorna. A simple 'Hi, how are you?' text that somehow managed to make Nicky feel warm all over despite her best effort to remain nonchalant. Nicky had been doing her level best since release day to, not necessarily avoid Lorna, but to keep her at arm's length. She never ignored or pushed Lorna away, but Nicky also didn't seek her out either, preferring to focus her efforts on family, friends, casual dating, school, and work. All exchanges between Nicky and Lorna had been because Lorna had made the effort to reach out. Interestingly enough, the less effort she made, the more Lorna pursued her. It was a nice change. Nicky knew Lorna was not what was best for her, although what her heart wanted always seemed to contradict her rationale.

Nicky angled herself so that Brooke could not possibly see what she was writing back and a few minutes later she put it away looking happy, if still a little distracted. Once the food was finished and after Nicky had cut everybody a piece of the almond cake that Red had baked that morning before leaving, she yawned a little too loudly and asked Brooke if she wanted her to walk her out. It was getting late and Nicky needed to start getting ready for bed.

"I thought you were going to ask her to spend the night," Alex said, when Nicky returned from taking Brooke outside and hailing her a cab, "did you just want time with us?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Nicky smiled, "Lorna messaged me and asked if we could hang out tonight."

"And you said yes?" Alex blinked, "Nicky…Brooke seems really cute. Why would you send her away for somebody who has played hot and cold with you from the beginning?"

"Because it's Lorna," Nicky said simply, "she's our friend and I told her we were having a slumber party tonight. It can be like a Litchfield Reunion."

"As shameful as it feels to be at a party with my former prison groupies, that does sound like a lot of fun," Piper grinned.

"Told you," Nicky said, "Just do me a favour and don't mention Brooke to Lorna when she gets here. I'm going to go take a shower." It was a chance to compose herself before Lorna arrived. Nicky stood naked in the tub and allowed the water to flow down on her as the different reasons why Lorna was now seeking her out drifted through her mind. It could just be for her friendship or it could be for more. Nicky had told Lorna firmly she was not interested in anything more than being friends until Lorna sorted her shit out with Harry and anyone else she felt torn about. Her rule about just being up for casual relationships did not apply to Lorna, of whom her feelings for had always been very intense. It would not be healthy to lose herself once again in a relationship that was inevitably doomed and would hurt her. Nicky wanted more than that.

She dressed in the plaid pajama bottoms that her brothers had bought her for Christmas and paired it with a baggy black t-shirt and no bra. Her face was clean of makeup and she wrapped her damp hair up in a towel. Scooping up Daisy, who never ceased to be underfoot, Nicky walked back into the living room to re-join Piper and Alex who were watching television and had changed into their pajamas too.

"No sexy nightie for Lorna?" Alex asked when Nicky sat down beside her.

"I don't wear nighties," Nicky informed her, "I actually prefer sleeping in nothing at all when the weather is mild like it is tonight, but I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, Vause."

A light knock at the door let them all know that Lorna had arrived. Nicky tried to look impassive as she went to answer it.

"Hey, you," Nicky smiled at Lorna, who grinned up at her. She wrapped her arms around Lorna in a hug and leaned forward to brush her lips softly with her own.

"Alex, welcome back!" Lorna said excitedly, rushing into the apartment ahead of Nicky. "I am so happy we're all getting back together! You must be so glad to be out of prison. I know Piper has missed you a lot."

"Yeah, it's been great," Alex said, "no more pat downs and strip searches."

"Except the good kind, huh?" Nicky winked at Piper.

"So, how are all of the wedding plans going?" asked Lorna eagerly, sitting down in the arm chair and tugging Nicky by the hand so that she would squeeze in beside her, "you pick your colours yet?"

"That's a long story," Alex rolled her eyes at Piper.

"It is not," Piper frowned, "you know how I moved the date ahead into June right?"

"Yeah," said Lorna.

"Well, the colours were going to be mint green and silver, but I don't think that will really work for a summer wedding," Piper said.

"No, it definitely would not," Lorna said, "have you figured out what you are going to do instead?"

"I was thinking pink and yellow?" Piper said, "what do you think? Is that a good colour scheme?"

"It's great," Alex said disinterestedly.

Lorna looked upset, "but those were going to be my wedding colours. You can't steal them from me."

"You're not getting married anymore," Nicky reminded her, "you actually never were, if you recall." She wrapped an arm around Lorna's slouched shoulders and sighed. "What about blue?" Nicky asked Piper, "royal blue would look beautiful for a summer wedding."

"Blue's my favourite colour," Alex said to Piper.

"Alright fine," Piper relented, "blue and yellow, how does that sound to everybody?"

"Beautiful," Nicky said, watching Lorna visibly perk up. Now that Nicky had ensured she didn't feel like her fantasy wedding was being stolen, Lorna began talking enthusiastically about everything they needed to do. At one point, she and Piper moved to the kitchen table, where Nicky's laptop was, and went on Pinterest to browse for ideas. Nicky and Alex had just rolled their eyes at their excitability and turned on the television to watch SVU that had been recorded onto the PVR while Nicky was in class.

"I think you two have enough planned for us to host several weddings," Alex yawned when their show had ended. She walked over to the table and placed her hands on Piper's shoulders.

"You have to consider all of your options, Alex," Lorna giggled, "I think we've narrowed the table centerpieces down to three different options to decide between."

"Why don't you just do a variation of centerpieces?" Nicky suggested. She walked over to the table and sat down in one of the wooden chairs. Daisy immediately jumped up onto her lap.

"No," Piper shook her head firmly, "I need to have symmetry."

"Ah, of course," Nicky nodded, as she scratched Daisy behind the ears.

"We should take a vote and see which one is best," Lorna said.

"Okay," Alex said sleepily, "but can we do it tomorrow? I'm so exhausted I would not be able to make an informed decision right now."

"And if you choose wrongly, you'll ruin the entire wedding," Nicky told her with a laugh, "all your guests will just be judging your poor choice in décor."

"Nicky!" Lorna scolded reproachfully, while Nicky and Alex both doubled over with laughter at her joke. Alex didn't care about weddings. She didn't have any family to invite and she didn't feel particularly accepted into Piper's family either. She would have been content just to race down to city hall and sign the papers, but Piper had wanted a wedding.

"Alex, you need to start taking this a little more seriously," Piper said complacently, "the choices we make for our wedding will set the tone for our life together. I want our wedding to be just so "us", and for that to happen you need to participate more in the planning."

"Alright, fine," Alex relented, "tomorrow I will sit down with you and go through the entire Pinterest board that you and Lorna created."

"Thank you," Piper said softly. She covered Alex's hands on her shoulders with her own.

"Now can we go to bed?" Alex pleaded, and Piper begrudgingly agreed.

Nicky and Lorna sat across from one another at the kitchen table after Piper and Alex had disappeared into Red's bedroom. It was the first time they had been alone since New Years Eve. All their other encounters had taken place with Piper or Lida tagging along. Nicky had purposefully avoided being alone with Lorna before now.

"So, what made you decide you wanted to visit me tonight?" Nicky asked her casually. She ran her fingers through Daisy's coat while she spoke.

"I always want to spend time with you, Nicky," Lorna said.

"But we rarely do anymore," Nicky pointed out.

"That's because you turn me down a lot," Lorna said pitifully, looking sad. "You're always so busy with school, and Red, and working."

"I have a lot going on," Nicky agreed, "that doesn't mean I wouldn't make more time for you if I thought it was actually the best thing for us both."

"What do you mean?" asked Lorna.

"I mean what I've been saying since I got out of Litchfield," Nicky sighed. She folded her hands on the table and looked almost like she was praying.

"Lorna, I love you so much, but the days of you running to me, and then leaving me, and then coming back are over. I'm done playing those games with you. Maybe I put up with it before but that was because we were both trapped in prison together and I couldn't have stayed away from you if I tried. Things are different out here though, and I can stay away. I would love to be with you more but you need to want me back, not just because you need a warm fuzzy blanket on cold nights. I'm done with that."

"What about my friend?" asked Lorna, "are you done being my friend too?"

"I didn't say that," Nicky said, shaking her head mournfully, "what I'm saying is that it's not always easy for me to be around you right now. I still have feelings for you, Lorna."

"You don't think I have feelings for you?" asked Lorna in astonishment. "Nicky, babe, you're the most important person in the world to me!"

"Then how are things going with Harry, huh?" Nicky asked steadily, "the boss guy? You still f**king him?"

"No, I'm not f**king him," Lorna said abrasively, "I'm done with that. I don't want to be with him, I want to be with you."

Nicky blinked back tears. Those were the words she yearned to hear, and yet she didn't know if she could trust them. This was Lorna after all. She was just as likely to turn around tomorrow and be in full pursuit of the man she claimed things were over with now. Nicky didn't want to get her hopes up.

"We've been down this road a lot of times before," Nicky said finally, "and it never works out because deep down you've always known that I'm not what you really want."

"Nicky, that's not tru—

"And it's okay if I'm not," Nicky interrupted, "you don't have to be in love with me. You don't have to feel a certain way about me just because I love you. That's not your problem."

"You've never been a problem," Lorna said, "you've always been the answer. You've saved me in so many ways. You're the only person who understands me, who accepts all my problems."

"Because I love you," Nicky said begrudgingly, "but I also love me, and I love the life I'm currently living without you, Lorn. I'm happy."

"Could you ever be happy with me?" Lorna asked quietly.

"I don't really think I can answer that right now," Nicky said wisely, "and I don't think you could either. Neither of us knows."

"I know," Lorna said, as tears openly slid down her cheeks, "I just hate the thought of you being with somebody else. Are you seeing anybody else?"

"Nothing serious," Nicky said evenly, "and that's all I want to say on the matter. You and I aren't together, but I also don't want to upset you by telling you about things you don't need to know about."

"So, in other words, yes," Lorna sniffled, and Nicky sighed. "Do you want me to go?" she asked.

"No," Nicky said. She sighed as she stood up and walked around the table to wrap Lorna in a hug from behind. "I don't want you to go," she admitted softly, kissing the top of Lorna's hair.

"I'm sorry I'm not better for you, Nicky," Lorna sniffled, "because you deserve the best. You are the best."

"Do you want to spend the night?" Nicky whispered, "just as friends. Let's try that first." Lorna nodded in agreement. Hand in hand they walked into Nicky's bedroom. Nicky pulled back the comforter of her bed and let Lorna lie down first before she crawled in beside her. Nicky's stomach was tense with uncertainty over whether or not this invitation had been wise. She didn't want to re-enter the vicious cycle of dysfunction that was their relationship, but she also wanted to be with Lorna. This was a start.