How long is forever? Sometimes just one second. This is what I thought of walking out of that building holding my best friends lifeless body in my arms. A quote from the book Quinn gave me that was safe in my backpack. I watched Finn literally drag Rachel out of the place and I realized how real that quote was. How one minute a person is there with you and the next they're gone.

Britt held on to the back of my shirt and puck walked next to me on my left with tears streaking down his face. I stared straight ahead knowing if I looked down at the girl in my arms I'd drop to the floor once again. I was so angry killing someone seemed real nice right now, a life for a life. That wasn't me though Quinn taught me that, she would tell me that killing someone is not what I want, but I knew what I want.

"Puck… slash all of the car tires I don't want this happening again" I said monotone.

"What?" he said confused.

"Slash the fucking tires!" I screamed.

Puck nodded running away with knife in hand while Britt gripped my shirt tighter. Mike came around the corner but stopped dead in his tracks by the gate followed by Tina, Sam, and henry limping over. Tina grabbed Rachel from Finn who had to walk away and collect himself from crying so hard.

I stopped in front of the group clenching my jaw "Let's get the fuck out of here"

We buried Quinn later that day, I stayed off to the side sitting in the overgrown grass staring out into the plains. I watched as the breeze swayed the tall grass and I wondered how I made it so far in this messed up world.

A hand touched my shoulder and I knew it was Brittany's, I could feel the spark shoot through my arm. I sighed as she sat down next to me looping her arm through mine and looking at me. I clenched my jaw looking back at her bright blue eyes sadly.

"Baby I'm so sorry" she whispered.

"It wasn't your fault Britt" I said turning away.

"Santana, thank you so much for coming to get us… Tina told me about you leading the group" she said softly.

"Don't thank me Britt whenever you need me I'll be there no matter what" I said looking at her eyes then back to my hands.

"I know san and I'm so grateful for that" She said kissing my cheek.

We stayed quiet for a few minutes until Brittany spoke up again. "Thank you for not killing anyone back there … I know how angry you were and I know Quinn is so proud of you…"

"Brittany stop okay I don't want to talk about her… I can't" I said my voice wavering.

"Well when you're ready to talk I'll be here I promise" she said.

I nodded slowly "Thanks" I said.

Britt turned my face toward her with her hand and we locked eyes "I just want you to know how proud I am of you" she whispered kissing my forehead.

I closed my eyes leaning my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me pulling me closer. "Please don't ever leave me again" she said.

"I promise" I whispered.

We walked far away from the place I now dreaded with no destination in mind. Rachel stayed to the back of the group as we walked keeping her head down without a word. The group tried talking to her but she stayed silent with no tears at all. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, I promised id get the girls both out safely but failed.

Britt tried to cheer me up with cheek kisses here and there but I just felt selfish. Why should Britt and I be happy when Rachel isn't, she lost the one she loved and I just couldn't forgive myself for this.

On top of all that's happened we were running out of food and water with no place to sleep at night. Walkers were coming out from the woods more frequently now and our ammunition was close to scarce. I wasn't hungry much anyway every time I flashed back to Quinn falling into my arms my stomach got sick. I was visibly getting weaker with every passing day and the group was starting to notice my change in mood.

As the days passed I started getting nightmares about Quinn dying, I woke up shaking and Britt could do nothing but hold me. Brittany became a bit distant after a while she didn't say much to me and she even traveled to the back of the group as we walked. She was the only one that got through to Rachel. I started realizing that I was losing Brittany or maybe she was losing me but either way I was too tired to fix anything.

Everyone was in their own little conversations when henry said he needed to stop for a moment. "Are you okay" Tina asked concerned.

"Just tired of walking" he said. I glanced back to Britt and Rachel who had been talking the whole time and I noticed that Rachel seemed a bit better.

"Santana why don't you eat something" Mike said.

I looked up at him and shook my head "I'm not hungry"

Suddenly we heard a moan from down the road. I looked to my left and saw one walker coming towards us slowly. "I'll get it" Finn said.

I grabbed his arm "Let me" I said my voice raspy. Britt stopped talking to Rachel and looked at me and Finns exchange. I started to walk towards the walker and the group all stopped to look at me.

"San let Finn do it your tired" Tina said. I wasn't listening though I was just walking towards the zombie girl who looked exactly like Sue, Quinn's killer.

"Santana stop" Brittany said walking after me.

I reached the zombie and it tried to attack me but I kept pushing it back smiling at the little game I was playing.

"Come on bitch come get me… come on you killed my best friend so come get me" I said to it angrily. Footsteps echoed behind me and I knew it was Britt but I couldn't turn around all I saw was sue.

I gave the zombie one more push and I slammed my knife into its skull. It fell to the ground and I fell with it smashing my knife repeatedly. I saw Quinn's lifeless body in my arms and I couldn't stop.

"Santana! Stop It!" Brittany screamed grabbing my arm.

I swung around but stopped when I realized I almost stabbed Brittany with the knife. She looked back at me with fear and my eyes went wide. I took a step back dropping my knife, I made my girlfriend afraid of me.

Britt looked at me with concern as I took another step back with my hands on my head "I'm so sorry" I said softly.

"No Santana its okay you didn't mean to" She said.

I shook my head "You're afraid of me" I said not meeting her eyes.

"That's not true" She said with a tear streaking down her face.

"I have to go I don't want… I can't hurt you" I whispered walking backwards.

I turned around and walked towards the woods "Santana where are you going… you promised me you wouldn't leave me!" she said crying.

She didn't realize I was already far gone.

Sorry about the sad times, but the way I see it you have to fall to get back up. Santana will do just that, better times are ahead I promise!