Special thanks to Cajunbear73, Shrike176, Katsumara, Brother Bludgeon, BlueEyedBrigadier, bigherb81, MrDrP, screaming phoenix, Michael Howard, Isamu, Donteatacowman, whitem, and RonHeartbreaker for their wonderful reviews.
And a big tip o' the hat to the reasonably brilliant work of my editor-in-chief, flakeflippingsnowgypsy!
And thanks to everyone for reading!
I.
After giving Yono his coffee and visiting her other nefarious customers' tables, Kim was relieved to return to Mayu, as the woman insisted Kim call her, at table fourteen. During their talk, Kim became less convinced that her customer was the same enraged woman who had charged the restaurant's windows earlier. They chatted pleasantly until Drakken interrupted with a demand for a side order of fries to enjoy with his shake.
Kim headed back toward the kitchen with his and Mayu's orders.
I wonder how Josh would feel if he knew he'd influenced a supervillian's diet?
The Kimmunicator beeped.
Immediately, Kim was assaulted with hisses and boos. Since almost half of the villainous diners had already left, the chorus wasn't as loud as it had been earlier. Yet it was loud enough--she was passing Dementor's table at the time.
"Oh! Get over yourself!" she yelled at the diminutive villain.
Before he could retort, he yelped in pain and clutched his shin under the table. He aimed his fury down the table in the direction of the young lady behind the "FINE" magazine, but before he could speak, he yelped again.
"Vhy are you kicking me?" he managed finally.
"Because you're such a little bitch," the young woman cried as she flung the magazine violently at him. "And you wonder why I never want to be seen in public with you or why mom always makes you call her collect!" She continued to fume as her brother and husband cowered across the table. "Thank God, you're the only one who inherited Dad's temper!"
Putting her finger in her left ear to block out the Demenz family squabble, Kim took the call. "Sitch me, Wa--Michelle?"
"Kim! I need to to talk to you!" her roommate said urgently.
"Sure, what's up?"
"Take a look at this." Michelle's face was replaced with an image of a catalog. A catalog Kim knew very well.
"I know, Michelle," she sighed. "The supervillains' annual convention is in town, tonight." After a second, she added, "Hey, I didn't know they forwarded junk mail internationally."
"How did you know about the convention? And what are you wearing?"
"It's a long story," Kim sighed. "I'll tell you all about it when I get back ... at least the parts I haven't blocked out."
"Well, that's actually not the majorly important thing I needed to tell you."
"No?"
The Kimmunicator chimed again.
"Hold on, Michelle, I've got another call."
Instantly, the device's view panel split in two as Wade's image squeezed in on the right.
"Kim!" he cried. He then paused and looked to his right. "Oh. hey, Michelle."
"Hey, Wade." Michelle said.
"Sorry to interrupt your call, guys, but I have something urgent to tell Kim."
II.
Ron and Karin were talking as he put the finishing touches on two sundaes. For the first time since Kim had told him about Yono's threat, he was feeling something close to "relaxed."
"So Possible-san really thinks we should open a restaurant together?" Karin asked in disbelief.
He nodded. "Yep. She thinks your recipes are badical."
Karin smiled. "I can't believe it."
"Yeah, as soon as I'm through getting schooled, she told me we should do it." Ron carelessly tossed a couple of cherries at the towering deserts and, with typical dumb skill success, each landed perfectly atop the Matterhorns of whipped cream. "She actually kinda insisted we do it."
"Wow," Karin shook her head.
Ron could see that his friend was overwhelmed by Kim's estimation of her culinary skills, but he could also tell that something was bothering her, too. "Is something wrong, Karin?"
"Uh, no, why no. Everything's fine." She tried to laugh. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I'm pretty good with poker faces when something's bothering me, you know, on the inside," he explained casually as he placed the two desserts on a tray, "so I can tell that you've got a pretty smooth poker face, too." Ron gave her a kindly look.
She sighed. "It's nothing too bad, Stoppable-san. Just--"
"Please, I told you to call me Ron-san."
She giggled. "Okay, Ron-san, it's just, well, a couple of my family members showed up at work tonight."
"Oh man," Ron smiled, "I know what that's like. The first time my mom came to see me at Smartymart I was cleaning the hamster cages, and you wouldn't think such small animals could make such a big mess, but whoah! I was completely covered and--" Then his eyes went wide, "Wait--your family was at the restaurant tonight? Your gr-grandmother!"
"No, no, no, not her," Karin said in a panicked voice that attempted to be reassuring. "She didn't come here--just my brother and little sister."
"Oh good," he said. "Wait--your brother and sister were here?" He started patting his suddenly sweating brow with the whipped cream canister. "You told me Julian was off limits to them!" He started to hyperventilate. "They didn't go after Kim, did they?"
"Stoppable-san! Ron-san! It's okay!" Karin shrieked, his panic and agitation flowing freely into her. "They're gone! I made them leave! Please, please, nothing happened!"
"It--it's okay?" he asked.
"Yes," she nodded. "It is." The anxiety in the air began to float away.
"Hey, what are you two screaming about?" the cook asked as he entered the kitchen with a ten pound bag of rice from the back room.
"Nothing," they cried in unison.
He shook his head.
"I didn't tell you before because I knew it would worry you," Karin explained quietly, "but I made sure nothing happened. And it didn't. Nothing at all."
"Cool," Ron said shaking his head. In an effort to change the subject, he asked, "So which villains are these sundaes for?"
"Well, its for one of Usui-kun's tables, actually. One of his customers was tying him up and he asked me to take a dessert order for him. This woman had a CuddleBuddie at her table. One I've never seen before."
"Oh! Maybe it's DNAmy. As supervillains go, she's actually pretty harmless. Who's the second sundae for? She got a date or something?"
"Actually," Karin said hoisting the tray to her shoulder, "I think it's for the statue."
"The ... statue?"
"Yeah, I think it's really made of stone, too. I don't know how she managed to get it in here. Uh, Ron-san, could I ask you a question?"
Ron was staring pensively at the floor.
"Ron-san?"
"Oh, sorry, Karin."
"You are just kidding about her being a supervillain, right?"
III.
"NO WAY!"
"He's right, Kim." Michelle nodded. "That's what I wanted to show you. It's even on the cover of the catalog. See?" Michelle held up the cover so that an image of the device swallowed her side of the screen.
IV.
Usui-san was trying to take Jack Hench's order for a third time. On his first two attempts, the world's richest villainous wholesaler had given him every indication that he was impatient to make his selection only to receive an incoming cell phone call of interminable length. They had made it all the way to ordering the appetizer when a third call interrupted them.
"Just a sec, kid," Hench said quickly, "I've really been expecting this call."
"And they can expect you to call back," Kim snapped as she grabbed the phone from his hand, closed it and slapped it onto the table.
"Hey!" Hench yelled looking up at her. The fire in her eyes quickly cooled his own anger. "Sorry, Miss Possible. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"How could you?!" she yelled.
After a few moments' thought, Hench said, "Uh, I'm going to need more."
"Is this enough?" Kim said, raising her arm sharply.
After he had recovered from his reflexive flinch, Hench looked at the image on the Kimmunicator's screen that she had thrust into his face. "Oh ... that? Is that what this is all about?"
"All of those were to be turned into GJ to be destroyed," Kim yelled, "and you put one up for the highest bidder and expect me to be calm about it?"
"Please, Miss Possible, you're making way too much of a fuss--"
"Who?" She demanded.
"Who?" he asked.
"Who did you sell it to? Tell me NOW!"
"No one," he said. "It was actually quite a disappointment. I had expected a good return on that item--no one even bid on it."
Kim looked at him warily and then tapped her device.
"KP?" Ron cried anxiously through the speaker.
"It's not Yono, Ron," Kim said quickly. "Calm down. But I do need you out here asap. I'm near the back."
"Table seventeen," Kenta offered.
"Oh," Ron said through the device, "I know where that is."
"Hey, Princess!" Shego said as she walked around Usui-san. "Dr. D's getting pretty hissy about his fries."
Kim growled. "And could you bring out a side order of fries for Drakken?"
"Uh, sure, be right there, KP!"
V.
"You'd really do that?" DNAmy asked breathlessly.
"Certainly," Yono replied. "The Path of the Yono is not an eternal one. I can release my charges at any time."
"So, you'll release my Montykins tonight? Right now?"
"But of course," Yono smiled. He got down from his booth and stepped toward the statue of Monkey Fist. He paused, closed his eyes, and began to glow as he stood in the middle of the aisle. He extended his long arms toward the fossilized form and began to chant what sounded to the mad geneticist like mystical words.
DNAmy looked wistfully at her paralyzed crush and then gripped his stony hand. "Soon, Monty, soon," she whispered.
Suddenly, the chanting stopped.
Amy looked at the short robed simian who was now standing slumped and motionless in the aisle.
"What--what's wrong?" she asked.
He did not look up or respond.
"Can't you release him?"
Yono shook his head sadly.
"Why? Why not?" she was almost crying. She gripped Monty's stone fingers even tighter.
Yono slowly raised his head and with a forlorn look replied, "Don't wanna." His lips than curled into a cruel grin that heralded his obscenely high-pitched and snorting laugh.
"You, you," she choked, "Big meanie! You're the most awful person I've ever met!"
"What do you mean?" Yono said, regaining his composure. "He's the ... 'meanie.'"
"Huh?" she asked between sobs.
"You order him tea, and he doesn't drink any."
"What?" she asked, wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
"Here, let me help," Yono said and extended his right arm toward the untouched cup of tea. It levitated from the saucer, floated through the air until it was level with Monkey Fist's horribly gaping mouth, and then emptied itself. The tea overflowed the shallow cavity of his frozen mouth, ran out of its corners and down the length of his stone body.
"Stop! Stop it!" Amy cried, hiding her face within the folds of her oversized sleeves.
Yono renewed his hideous laughter but then abruptly stopped.
His giggle fit had awoken a very un-mystical need that he realized he had denied himself for too long. Without a word, he left DNAmy stuttering with sobs as he went in search of the restroom.
VI.
"You!" Kim said turning her fury at the villainess. "You knew about this too, didn't you? Why didn't you say anything?"
"What?" Shego said peering at the Kimmunicator's screen that Kim was now pointing in her direction. "What is this, Possible? Are we suddenly on the same side or something?"
"On this we are, Shego." Kim said coldly. "Everyone on the planet is on the same side as far as this is concerned." She aimed a disdainful look at Hench. "At least I thought so."
Shego sighed. "Don't get your apron in a bunch, Kim. No one bought it. Even the Seniors didn't place a bid."
"That's not the point, Shego."
"Look, Miss Possible," Hench said diplomatically, "if it'll make you feel better and allow me to order my dinner, I'll call my associates right now to arrange for GJ to pick it up for demolition. Sound fair?"
Kim shook her head. "I still can't believe you were going to sell it."
"It wasn't going to be used as a weapon," Hench explained calmly. "Only as a high priced souvenir of sorts. Believe me, the safety of the planet is one of Henchco's top concerns."
Kim rolled her eyes. "And how could you guarantee that it would only be used as the world's largest nicknack?" she scoffed.
"What's going on, KP?" Ron asked from behind her shoulder.
"Do you have my fries, buffoon?" Drakken said as he rudely brushed past Usui-san.
"Hey! You know my name, dude!" Ron protested as Drakken snatched the small paper basket from his hands. "And why do you need fries anyway? Didn't you just get your dessert?"
"They're to dip in the shake," Drakken said, a maniacal gleam entering his eyes.
"Freak!" Ron pronounced. "Who does that?" he asked Kim.
"Please, Ron!" Kim said in extreme agitation. "Let's stay focused."
"Please and thank you," Shego said drily. "The stupid thing doesn't work. Am I right, Hench?"
"Indeed, our top technicians made sure it was completely inoperable before it was put on display."
"You mean," Kim retorted, "that your top technicians couldn't get it to work."
Hench shrugged. "Either way, it's completely harmless."
"What are you guys talking about, KP?" Ron whispered.
She responded by pointing to the image on her Kimmunicator.
"NO WAY!"
"Please, let's not rehash all this a second time," Shego sighed. She turned back to Hench, "If I remember what I read from that pamphlet your goons were handing out there's some kind genetic lock on it, right?"
"Genetic lock?" Kim asked, her eyebrow raised suspiciously.
"Yes," Hench said, picking up his cell phone to dial. "The boys in R&D determined that there was a biological passcode, if you will, built into the device's systems. Terrestrial DNA cannot pass muster even to turn its lights on."
"Meaning?" Kim asked.
"Meaning, Miss Possible," Hench said as he began to make his call, "that only Lorwardians can operate it. So you have nothing to worry about."
VII.
Karin should have known not to deliver the order when she first heard the crying.
However, her good-nature had always been stronger than her better judgment.
"Are ... you ... okay?" she managed as she reached the edge of the table.
The woman was slumped over the table, quivering. Her answer was muffled by her arms and tears.
The glass of the desert bowls began to rattle upon the serving tray. Karin's arms trembled and shook to the point where she could no longer carry it.
The sudden noise of the tray slamming upon the table startled DNAmy into raising her head. Her waitress was at the edge of the table, her head bowed. The first impression that struck her was that the young girl was crying.
"Are," the geneticist sniffed, sponging her tears away with the Spidark in her left hand, "you okay?" She reached out her right hand to the girl's shoulder.
The girl leapt violently from her touch and raced quickly away from the table.
VIII.
"There," Hench said closing his cell phone smartly. "Are we satisfied now, Miss Possible?"
"Not really, no." She replied coolly.
"Satisfied for now?" He asked. When he got nothing but her cold stare as an answer, he asked helplessly, "Satisfied enough so that I can order my dinner?"
"Fine." she said disdainfully.
Usui-san made to approach the table once more but then stopped and stared behind Kim and Ron.
When he realized that his waiter was in some kind of trance, Jack Hench said in exasperation, "What's wrong now?"
"Maaka!" Usui-san yelled.
"Huh?" Ron looked behind him and saw Karin running straight for them at top speed. For an instant, she raised her face to his. His mouth went dry.
"What's wrong?" Kim asked turning around. Before she could make a step toward the approaching girl, Ron held her back.
Within seconds, Usui-san and Karin had disappeared together, racing to the rear of the dining room.
Before Kim could ask Ron what was going on, the look in his eyes silenced her.
The silence went on for quite some time actually. It was only broken by Drakken's scream.
"Hey, those are mine, Hench!"
"How does it feel having the shoe on the other foot, Drakken?" the CEO asked before munching down a handful of the pilfered fries. After swallowing, he looked defiantly at the three pairs of eyes that were turned his way. "What do you want? I've been waiting for hours for a table and my waiter just ran off!"
Looking away from the feuding villains Kim saw that Ron was staring at the floor.
"Ron?"
He had the strangest expression on his face, but did not answer her.
"Ron? Are you all right?"
"Yeah, KP," he said finally. "I'm ... fine."
IX.
"I just found the most badical restaurant, KP!" Ron cried into his cell phone. Once again, he had left the Ron-com in his gi and had to rely on the low-rent cell that his parents had given him. The in-building service was barely a single bar, so he had to ask his new friend Karin to show him to the rear door so he could make the call outside.
"Ron!" Kim's tone was equal shares exasperation and disbelief. "I'm in the middle of my chem lab! I'll talk to you later." She hung up.
Ron was disappointed that Kim had ended the call, but he wasn't upset. A year ago, Kim angrily hanging up on him would have sent him spiraling into a funk. He'd thought such a "conversation" did not bode well for the health of a normal long-term relationship. Certainly, it left no question that he had majorly loused things up. Again.
Of course, he knew better now. True, he had made a big-time goof, but it didn't signal the end of their relationship. Kim knew the Ron-man's style, and she still loved him. He would just have to remember next time, was all. In fact, Ron came seconds away from calling her back to let her know he would do better in the future when he realized the irony of such a well-meant action.
Still, he was disappointed. He had wanted to tell Kim about Karin as well. She was just as interested in cooking as he was. And she was super cool, too. After he had finished his meal, she had entertained his request to tour the kitchen. He had met the cooks, sampled some other dishes and even gotten to see the store room and freezer. He couldn't wait for Kim to meet her and sample some of her cooking. What a badical evening it had been, and he hadn't even seen Kim yet!
As his thoughts turned back to his girlfriend, Ron felt so overwhelmed recalling her irritated voice that he felt compelled to hug somebody. Since he was alone, he hugged himself.
Something clicked behind him.
He turned, but there was nothing there. He shrugged and started walking back to restaurant's rear door. He was a few feet from it when what looked like a long feather boa of neon pink swung before him on his right. It vanished, and then another one swung past on his left.
"What the?" he spun around and discovered Karin standing behind him.
At least it looked like his new friend. True, she was now wearing thigh-high boots. And a leather jacket. And she was holding an umbrella. And her hair went down to her feet and was neon pink, too.
"Karin?" he asked.
Suddenly, the handle of the umbrella hooked around the back of his neck, and he found himself being firmly pulled down to the girl's level. Her eyes were hidden by her impossibly-colored bangs.
Painfully, he craned his neck to the sky. It didn't look like rain. "Uh, Karin, what's going on?"
The girl smirked.
"Did you do something to your hair?" he asked trying to remove the umbrella's handle. Her grip was too strong.
The girl raised her head, opened her red eyes, and smiled broadly at him.
Fortunately, Ron's scream had been so high-pitched and full-bodied that Karin heard it from inside the storeroom. Within seconds, she was running to his rescue.
X.
Yono the Destroyer felt like he was going to vomit.
He had been drying his hands in the restroom when its door had violently burst open. Fortunately, he had been able to leap onto the toilet seat before it could smash into him. However, he was not quick enough to make an escape before it was shut and locked again.
He uttered an archaic mantra that magically cloaked his location from the eyes of others. Unfortunately, he could not remember the one that allowed him to pass through walls.
Curse you, sake!
He was trapped. Trapped with a pair of ... ugh ... coupling humans!
Yono shut his eyes and tried to beat back the rising waves of nausea.
"Maaka, wait! Let me unbutton first--you're gonna rip it!"
"I'm sorry, Usui-kun! Hurry! Hurry! I'm going to explode!"
Yono tried in vain to remember the mantra to shut out all sound, too.
Then the room was silent. Almost.
The sound of the running toilet did not completely drown out the repugnant sighs coming from the mortals. Yono wondered how long he would have to endure such torture.
Against his better judgment, he felt compelled to crack open one eye. The tall, spikey-haired male was leaning back against the sink, his eyes closed and his shirt open. The female had her back turned to Yono, and appeared to be hoisting herself level to her lover by the strength of her arms about the latter's neck. Yono would have immediately shut his eyes again if he had not caught a sideways glimpse at the mirror hanging over the sink.
What ... IS ... this?
The female's face was framed in the reflection, and the sight confused Yono greatly. The only thing he was sure of was that what he was seeing was NOT human.
He stared trans fixedly at her image until she released the male.
When it was complete, she helped the human button his shirt. They exchanged words that Yono ignored, took turns in the mirror making themselves look presentable, and then promptly exited, shutting the door behind them.
Yono sprang from the toilet seat and, snapping his fingers, ended the invisibility spell. Lost in thought, he stood silently for a moment. Still unsure of what he had just witnessed, the dark master felt certain that he could use this newly acquired knowledge to his advantage ... somehow.
Pale fingers haloed in amber suddenly gripped his face.
"You will not reveal Big Sister's secret," said a soft, firm voice.
Yono struggled fiercely, but could already feel himself slipping down into the darkness that was quickly swallowing the entire room. Within seconds, it engulfed him and blotted out the world.
XI.
Anju looked down at the simian's prone form. She had only intended to erase the memories involving her sister's identity. However, he had fought against her powers. Surprisingly, he had been quite strong. The struggle had forced her to extend more strength than she normally felt comfortable using. It was regrettable, but he had forced her hand and left her no choice.
Instead of only a few of his most recent memories, she had wiped them all.
XII.
"Warhok, please be patient. It has been silent for many dormins. A brief time is required for it to regain full power."
"I understand," he replied tersely. "It needs rest, but I do not." He marched to one of the large legs of the device and placed his palm against an oblong-shaped panel. The edges of the panel glowed, and then it slid upwards, revealing a hidden compartment. The giant alien removed the glowing, javelin-shaped object contained therein. "I have rested long enough."
Once in his grip, the weapon sprouted dozens of long, serrated extensions along its length. These extensions most closely resembled porcupine quills. If porcupine quills were edged with teeth, that is.
The quills began to hum.
"It feels most excellent to have the Thorgoggle spear within one's grip again!" he said as he began twirling it over his head.
"It is good to see you have not lost your touch," Warmonga observed, her voice approaching something akin to warmth.
He smiled at her. "Once the device is fully charged, we shall eliminate the glowing, chittering one who defeated us." He brandished the weapon in the empty air of the deserted hall. "And you shall finally have your trophy."
"Assuredly," she nodded with cruel satisfaction. "There will be blood."
To be continued ...