A Month of Grief

Eric sat next to the unconscious Pam for quite a bit, feeling utterly useless and in turmoil over their situation. He wanted to break something, he wanted to scream, to kill or to just do something, but it was all for nothing.

There was nothing he could do.

With a defeated sigh, he stood up, ran his large hand through his golden locks and turned to make his way down stairs. He found Sookie and Bill sitting on his sofa, and Dr Ludwig scribbling in some sort of note book. They all looked up as he entered the room. Dr Ludwig stood up.

'How is she Mr Northman?' She asked in that short tone of hers.

'I haven't woken her yet. I'm giving her time to say goodbye.'

Dr Ludwig simply nodded and sat back down. Eric stared at her for another minute, before finally turning to Bill and Sookie.

'Why are you two even here?' He didn't tried to keep is discontent out of his voice.

'You haven't been seen in over a week. You or Pam, so we came to investigate.' Sookie offered.

Eric stared at her with wide eyes, 'Over a week? What are you on about?' He demanded as the sinking feeling began to grow in his stomach.

'You've been asleep for over a week it seems. We came yesterday; we were unable to wake you at first.' Dr Ludwig answered this time.

'But how can that be possible? We've been asleep just through the day that is all.' Eric replied stiffly, sitting down to hide the fact his legs had started to grow weak.

'The eclipse. That is the only explanation.' The Doctor replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Eric let loose a bitter laugh, 'That fucking eclipse.' He drawled out bitterly. 'I wish that fucking thing never happened!' This time Eric did smash something, as the small coffee table crumbled to bits, nobody said a word. Nobody even flinched.

'I'm going to wake Pam. Please leave.' Eric broke the silence after a few tense moments.

'Eric... I'm not..,' Sookie mouthed but Eric quickly cut her off.

'I don't want you here. Get out.' His tone brokered no arguments as he stared down Bill and Sookie. He then straightened up slightly and turned to Dr Ludwig. 'Doctor Ludwig, thank you for all you have done. I will phone if you are needed, you'll payment will be with you shortly.' The little goblin like woman nodded once and turned to pack her things up and soon enough all three visitors had left the Northman residence.

Eric stood stock still for a long moment. He knew what he had to do; it was really very simple, go-wake-Pam. But his feet wouldn't work, he couldn't fathom the thoughts he needed to move one foot in front of the other.

'Come on.' He growled to himself, hitting his thigh in a rapid succession to get him moving but he still just stood there. He let out a bitter chuckle, grinning madly into the empty room.

'What the fuck are you Northman, a weakling? You're a Viking! She is your child, she needs you! Move!' He bellowed, punching his chest several times in a warrior manner, his whole physical being shaking with pent up adrenaline.

Suddenly he belted forward, pounding up the stairs and bursting into their shared room with a bang. He leant forward, hands hovering just above Pam's pale shoulders but then just as quickly he pulled away.

'Come on!' He roared once more, but in place of the strong Viking came a withering cry followed by a choked sniff. He collapsed on the bed beside his sleeping child and returned to just gazing down at her.

She had the tiniest smile playing on her lips.

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'I'm so happy that the eclipse brought you to me. It was a miracle eclipse, baby, yes it was, and you are my miracle.' Pam cooed tearfully at Nathan, smiling through the red mist and trying to keep brave for his sake.

Nathan gurgled and kicked his legs about happily.

'Yes!' Pam laughed, 'My miracle baby!' She chirped in a bittersweet tone, tickling his tiny round tummy with her elegant fingers, running her nails in a butterfly touch along his skin leaving the little Northman-De Beaufort giggling happily.

'Now I know I've always said I hated children but not you. You are mine and your Daddy's and we love you so much. You will be with us for eternity my darling. In here.' She whispered, laying her hand gently over her heart and then his in turn. 'I just know I'll see you again. I promise you. I promise you...' She picked up little Nathan and kissed his forehead for a long lingering moment. Pulling away slightly to spy his little cherub face one more time before she straightened her back, shook her head and moved towards the little crib.

'I promise you baby.' She quickly turned from her bouncy baby boy and run to the far end of the blurry white room.

'Eric! Eric! Wake me up now! Please, wake me up, I can't-do-this...I need you...Please Eric, Master, Father, Maker wake me up now- please!' She screamed louder than she had ever screamed before into the white mist of a ceiling, the very image of a woman in the midst of a mental breakdown.

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She shot straight up in the familiar confines of her and Eric's bed with a start, the last of a strangled scream dying in her throat and the too tight embrace of something cold and solid gripping her hard.

'Eric?' She voiced but no more than a hoarse whimper sounded.

'I'm here min söta...min älskling...my Pamela.' Eric's voice sounded forgien to him as he held onto his trembling child as tightly as his aching body allowed. He had to be strong for her, he had to be there for her, be the Maker she needed right now, but as he heard her next sentence, his own tears wree practically impossible to stop.

'I lost our baby...I'm so sorry.'

New chapter coming real soon, so sorry it's been forever, I truly am. Please review if there are any readers still interested in this story! All the best,

Frailly :)