Chapter Ten
Two Days Before Sam's Departure
Danny was driving his car in the middle of the night in the lonely road. He looked at his side and saw Sam asleep, looking beautiful in her tight dress. That must be the sexiest dress she owned, he had worshiped her the whole night and when she showed up in front of him wearing that his jaw hit the floor. He started at her in astonishment.
"I was really stupid by thinking I'd ever find somebody better." He looked at her again, then decided to pay attention to the road.
Two days was everything he had left with her. Then she'd go away and probably never come back. Her perfume would be forever a memory and it would stay everywhere, in his bed, in his car, in his clothes. When he had first exhaled that perfume that same night, he had to hold back a delighted groan.
Her smile would be a fading picture forever engraved in his mind. He couldn't believe that he was actually going to lose her forever next Sunday. She had been by his side since they were kids, he couldn't even imagine life without knowing she was there next to him.
Stupid philosophy. He couldn't help but think that the main reason why she stood her decision to go away so firmly was because she didn't believe in Love at all. It was HIS fault because he failed to convince her that Love did exist and that was what preciously held them together all those years.
He looked at her again, eyeing every curve, every breath she took, the movement of her lips and chest. He wished he could be forever stuck in that moment with her. He wished the sun wouldn't rise in the horizon and that they would ride in that road silently forever.
But that wasn't possible, was it? She was going away and she DIDN'T trust him enough.
That night, after the Opera had finished and Sam went to the backstage to greet Kyle, Danny was left alone with Jude who, after letting one single tear fall (that frightened Danny beyond comprehension) he dragged Danny to a corner and told him the most disturbing news Danny had ever heard in his life.
"Danny, I must tell you something very important, but by doing this I'm betraying Sam's trust so you must promise me that you won't yell at her or anything after I tell you." Danny could only nod, not understanding what could be so important. "Okay, so… I think I found the source to Sam's depression…"
A baby… they had made a baby. Parenthood was one of the things in life he would like to try, but not that soon and still when he heard what Jude had to say he couldn't help but feel like he had gone through a terrible loss. Sam didn't know she was pregnant until she day she lost the baby and Danny fully understood why she wanted to keep it a secret from him. It may sound too noble to some, but that was the way Sam was, she didn't mourn the past.
Before he realized, Danny had tears running down his face. The pain that shot up in this chest of his heart breaking was unbearable. He tried to think of something else. He looked at the sides of the road and noticed the moon shinning in one of the sides of the road. A baby... A BABY!
Somehow he had been so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice they were already in the Lakes region. It was a full moon night and the lake was shinning in a lonely way. Everything was lonely tonight.
Danny crossed the road and pulled the car over, stopping near the sand. He turned the engine off and looked to Sam again, her pale face bathed in moonlight.
He had to make her stay with him, somehow.
Sam opened her eyes when she noticed they had stopped. She yawned and looked around, wondering where they were and when she looked up, she saw that Danny was leaning over her from his seat, staring at her so sadly that she wondered he knew something she didn't.
"Danny-" She could barely speak his name when he bent down and shut her up with a bruising, desperate, kiss.
"I love you." He said against her lips, holding her tightly in his arms as if she was going to slip away. "I love you." He repeated, kissing her out of desperation as if he was daring her to say it back. It didn't matter anymore, as he continued kissing her and she started responding, he forgot all his worries, everything else was obliterated by her warmth, the taste of her lips, her sweet perfume and the softness of her hair.
"Oh, gosh Danny, what's going on?" She broke her lips free from his hungry ones and was able to speak before he interrupted her again. As if she could read his thoughts she understood that the reason why he was so desperate was because she was leaving.
"Marry me!"
For a several seconds Sam was stunned by his sudden request. She stared into his eyes, completely out of any kind of reaction. He knew she was going to refuse, so why did he ask anyway? He was THAT desperate to keep her from going away. She didn't know he hurt that much until she felt his tears wetting her face.
"Oh Danny…" She embraced him in a comforting way, letting him calm down. When he had made the request she had seen ferocity flash in his eyes, but his embrace was so gentle that she succumbed into it without a single analytical thought.
She felt his grip tighten around her waist and suddenly she felt as light as a feather, it was the usual sensation she had wherever Danny made her go intangible. They flew through the car and up into the starry sky. She didn't protest. She continued holding him close to her chest, while he held her by the waist, like a little boy scared to lose his most precious toy.
As her fingers got lost on his hair, her face stared above them. She was near the stars, for a second she felt like if she reached out her hand she'd be able to touch the moon. She smiled and looked down, they were floating above the lake, with tiny sparkling lights that looked like little diamonds.
"Danny, look around us." She said softly, kissing his forehead. He obeyed and opened his eyes, looking above him to see her smiling down at him.
"Beautiful." He smiled sadly.
"I meant the sky. You're so cheesy today." She teased, bending down to kiss his lips softly and lovingly.
"I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children with you." He said quickly, in desperation. He felt her go rigid under his embrace and slightly pale when he said the last part. It was like confirming what Jude had told him, but he wasn't going to tell her he knew. "Please, give me an answer."
She didn't say a word, she decided that the best way to answer him without making him disappointed was to kiss him and she did, trying to silence his pleas. Danny completely lost his concentration on the flight when she kissed him and Sam felt her stomach dropping, she held him tight when she noticed they were falling.
"Danny!" She squeaked right before they fell on the water. The cold water wasn't enough to make Danny break free from her, he held her close and they both broke into the surface at the same time, laughing at the stupidity they did.
Danny was enchanted by her laughter and she looked so delighted that she looked like the Greek nymphs that inspired the poets to write the most precious works in all literature history. That laughter should be painted in the Sistine Chapel ceiling and nobody should be able to enter in that chapel except him in an endless ritual of adoration. She was Venus, the personification of Beauty.
Danny looked at her in hope when she kissed him again, he recognized that touch; it was caring, tender and surprisingly intense. That's what he described as 'Love'.
Sam realized it, too. The emotions she sensed coming from him and her own emotions that were being born inside her chest so strong that she thought she was going to explode. They kissed fully, sensuously, languidly and torturously slow. That must have been the most beautiful kiss they ever shared.
'If Love exists...' Sam found herself thinking, never separating their lips, 'that's exactly what I'm feeling right now.'
The last hours Danny and Sam had together passed by quicker than every ordinary hour. Danny cursed himself for not being able to skip work, but he would wake two hours earlier and stay up until he couldn't hold his eyes opened anymore. He kicked Tucker out of the flat for the last days; he wanted to spend every minute with her.
But time was cruel and it wouldn't stop at that moment just like it hadn't stopped before. The hardest thing Danny would ever do in his whole life was drive Sam to the airport on the day she had to part. He woke up with the whole world on his bed knowing that at that same night she'd be miles away from him.
"Sammy, wake up." He said, kissing the back of her neck teasingly until she opened her eyes and turned around to hold him close. "We better get up… you don't want to be late."
"But… I just slept two hours." She stirred, turning around and hugging him tightly, trying to memorize the feeling of his skin against hers.
"That, my dear, is as much your fault as it is mine." He grinned, kissing her sadly. In five hours she would be flying all the way across the country, not to return again.
She hadn't even said goodbye to her mother…
Her bags were packed and they were in the living room with all her things inside, she wasn't leaving a single souvenir, nothing to make him remember her. All he had were the pictures they had taken together.
He promised himself he wouldn't cry, that their last hours together would be joyful, but he already pictured himself not being able to hold back his tears.
"I better go take a shower." She said, untangling herself from his arms and standing up, making her way towards the bathroom. He watched her as she walked around the room, happy that she wasn't shy to be naked in front of him anymore. He could admire her sculptural body as she moved around, picking her clothes and underwear.
Inside the bathroom, she let the water fall on her body letting it wash away the sleep and the sweat from their activities a few hours before. He had been incredibly gentle in the last forty-eight hours, he didn't rush into anything, and he would take his time and treasure her like she was a porcelain doll.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" Sam smiled and looked behind her where Danny was standing, preparing to get into the shower with her.
"Did I tell you're a helpless romantic?" She replied, grinning from ear-to-ear.
"I do my best." He grinned back, leaning down and kissing her.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
How could his blue eyes captivate her like that? That was some kind of magnetism in them that would reduce Sam in a pile of goo on the floor.
While she got dressed, Danny just sat on the bed, watching her as if she was performing for him. He was lost in his thoughts while memorizing every single detail of her body. If only he could show her how precious she was to him and convince her to stay he knew his life would be complete.
He knew what he'd have to do to show her how much she meant to him, he knew how to make her stay right beside him, and it was a simple thing to do that would cost greatly.
He prepared himself to tell her he would give up being an astronaut to go with her to L.A.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
Sam finished getting ready and moved to the kitchen, Danny followed her, and they silently cooked a great breakfast, with toast, milk, orange juice pancakes and Danny's favorite syrup. She wanted to spoil him as much as she could.
In her mind she was battling herself. Danny had proved her she was able to Love. She still doubted the origin of that feeling, but she knew that what she was feeling at that moment was what people could call love. In other words, she loved Danny. She finally could say she loved him. She finally knew what Love was.
But she didn't say a word through the whole breakfast and Danny also stayed quiet. The atmosphere was heavy and their eyes desperately tried to say the words their mouths were too stubborn to form.
An hour later, the kitchen was clean, the bed was made and the bags were already in the car. Danny watched fascinated as Sam applied a last detail to her makeup and fixed her blouse, looking like a gorgeous businesswoman. The green color of her tie matched her modest skirt and her delicious par of high heels. He couldn't tell how many nights he had asked her to leave the high heels on.
They lost themselves in another sweet kiss before Sam broke their embrace sadly.
"We better go, I don't want to miss the flight… and I still have to say goodbye to Tucker."
Danny nodded sadly and took her hand, wishing that memories would be as clear as pictures were, that would stay intact even after a hundred years.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
The pain of separation fell upon them as Danny parked the car in front of the park. Sam was surprised he hadn't forgotten their promise. Their last kiss was going to be in the park, in front of the lake, under their tree, the exactly same place where they had their first kiss.
"We promised…" He said, getting her hand on his and leading her towards the tree of yellow flowers that had full blossomed.
"Is it… really going to be our last kiss, Danny?" Sam asked quietly, as he leaned closer to her.
"I hope not." He said, sadly, "But I guess… since you're not coming back." He closed his eyes and tried to kiss her, but she stepped back, putting a single finger on his lips.
"What if we don't kiss here?" She said, almost hopefully. "If we have our last kiss here as we promised it will be like sealing the end of our relationship. What if we let it open? What if we just… pretend it's not over?" She tried, her eyes almost betrayed her and showed him how desperate she was to not let go.
Danny smiled and held her close to him. These probably were the best lines she had ever said to him. He was overwhelmed by happiness when she said that. To him it meant she wasn't giving up on him… on them.
"Okay… we started with pretend, so we better end with it, too." He grinned. He kissed her forehead and brushed a few yellow flowers that had fallen on her hair. "We better go to the airport, then, Tucker must be waiting for us there."
She silently agreed and they walked hand in hand back to the car.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Danny helped her with the bags and when they were sent to the airplane they still had half an hour before she had to go on board. They were silent and avoided looking at each other in the face.
"Sam!" She heard a familiar voice call and she turned around to see Tucker running towards them.
"Tucker!" She called back, hugging him tightly. He held her until her feet wouldn't touch the ground anymore. Tucker opened his eyes and saw Danny frowning at them and immediately put her back on the ground.
"Hey, dude, I know she's taken." Tucker laughed. "I brought some friends, too." Tucker turned around to let Danny and Sam to see some people standing behind him.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Sam's father was there to say his farewell, also Kyle and Jude (both looking extremely handsome and getting a few glances from the girls that passed by them). She felt tears streaming down her face when she saw the sight before her. All the boys of her life had come to say goodbye.
She held her father, who wished her all the happiness in the world; that she was welcome back in case she got lonely. Kyle also held her, giving her a small card with his phone number. Jude held her close, placing a kiss on her cheek (that made Danny shiver with anger).
I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
After she hugged everyone she felt Danny's hand slip in hers and he gently guided her to the gate from where the flight would leave. He saw she was wearing the necklace he gave her, the class ring he had asked her to keep that had her name engraved and in the other hand the diamond ring Kyle had given her years ago. She was wearing everything that would make her remember them.
'If she says anything about us…' Danny thought 'anything at all I'll tell her I'll go with her, all she needs to do is to give me a sign that she wants me to go and I'll give up my whole future for her… this is true love whether she believes it or not.'
'I must tell him the three words he wanted to hear all these years…' Sam thought, looking up into his loving face. 'He said it so many times and now that I'm sure of it, I must tell him… why is it so difficult to form those words?'
'Come on Sam… give me a sign, anything will do. Just tell me you care about me that you won't forget me and I'll know you want me to go… please… say something!' He mentally begged, but his body didn't move, he kept looking at her face sadly, as if he was saying goodbye for a few days.
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
'If I say "I love you, Danny" I won't be able to walk away…' Sam cried mentally, her heart was aching with need to finally say what she took years to realize, but she didn't know it was so difficult to hurt her analytical pride just to say that. 'I want to stay…' She finally realized, letting a single tear fall. 'I want to stay with him. I can find work in Amity Park, can't I? I can marry him like he wants… and then… he'll go to NASA… we'll have to break up anyway!'
She let her head fall and felt his arms embracing her one last time. She would do anything to be forever in those arms.
'I love you… please let's me go with you.' Danny caressed her head, kissing her temple gently, not saying a single word. His mind was screaming at him.
'I love you, Danny, I have to say it. Let me stay with you! Don't go to space! Stay with me! I love you. I LOVE YOU.'
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
"So…" Danny finally worked up the courage to speak. 'Say something, Sam, please.'
"So…" She repeated, looking up to him and breaking their embrace, suddenly feeling she had to be strong for him. "… I guess this is goodbye."
Danny let go the breath he didn't know he was holding. That was it. She didn't want him to go with her.
"You better go…" He said, looking at the gate as the last people entered the plane. "You're going to miss your flight."
"Yeah…" She smiled, holding her tears. She wasn't going to say those words. He didn't expect her to. It was clear in his eyes that he had accepted their destinies. She stood on her toes, kissing him sweetly on the lips.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
"Daniel Fenton…" She said through their touching lips. Then she broke the kiss and stepped away from him. "… it was a pleasure." Then she turned and walked to the gate. Finally, when he was out of her eyesight her tears streamed down her face. 'Don't look back, Sam… he can't see your tears… don't ruin it.'
Danny stood there, not minding his own tears. He couldn't believe what was happening. Everything was in slow motion to him, it was like dying inside. He remembered when they first met, her cute pink dress which she hated, he remembered when she held his hands while he was under Ember's spell. He remembered how beautiful she looked in the ancient Egypt outfit, how he hated when she kissed Gregor, how she kissed him under the tree to fool the photographers. He remembered their first time, their last time, and all the times in between them.
That girl was part of his life, a part that she was taking with her to that plane. He slowly watched the way she moved, how graciously she gave the ticket to the stewardess and how she walked on board without looking back at him.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
The plane's door closed and Danny walked towards the glass window to see it take off. He leaned his forehead against the glass somehow too weak to keep his head up. The engines started, the plane slowly began to move away from the platform.
Danny's heart was being squeezed inside his chest. The plane arrived at the landing area and started speeding up… two minutes later the tires left the ground and the plane was flying towards the horizon, taking the only woman he had ever loved away from him.
And she had never said she loved him back.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
Danny had a feeling that music was never going to be the same now. He was never going to be able to listen to Opera without crying.
He looked at the plane until it disappeared. He couldn't stay at the airport any longer, he was going to break down any moment now and he had to be alone.
He turned around and took two steps away from the glass window when his cell phone beeped. Normally he'd have ignored it, but somehow he knew he had to answer it now.
He picked the phone from his pocket and read in the screen 'you've got a text message from Sam'. His heart beat even faster now and he opened the message.
His eyes filled up with tears that he didn't hold back. His knees grew weak and he sat down on the floor, not able to hold himself up.
In the small cell phone screen, written in pale lilac in a bubble format font was the words he had longed to hear since he met her.
"I love you, Danny. I always will."
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Tucker staring at him holding back his own tears.
Danny couldn't believe it.
It was the end.
Wasn't it?
- author hides fearing a painful death -