This is what I call the "hard to swallow" chapter but I ask for your patience only because there is more than what I reveal and something strong that stems from this. Trust me. -Onyx

Chapter 10. Touches and Trust

"You want me to do what? Catherine, I am a man in my late 40's, physical exertion is for young guys like Warrick and Greg. Hell, I make Nick run after the scent dogs for me."

Catherine couldn't help but laugh at the shade of red he had turned.

"Look if you want Sara, you have to think her generation Gil."

"I know but-"

"The dancing is not that hard. Once she sees you have rhythm, it will give you a new edge."

"Rhythm has never been my problem. I can dance the classics. My mother was deaf, she couldn't hear the music, but she followed the rhythms by the movements I made. She taught me the steps and I taught her to feel the rhythms."

"Wow, that's amazing. I didn't realize you were so close to your mom."

"I had to be. She's brilliant and very funny but most people don't know that because she doesn't express herself vocally. She taught me everything, still does. Only woman I have ever known that will sit down and eat fried roaches with me."

"Yuck!"

"Yeah well don't knock it till you try it. Anyway what do we do?"

"Ok, first of all, this requires you to completely trust me. I can dance to any kind of music and I can move with it as well. More often then not I'll be touching you in an erotic nature. It's the art of this dance."

"Um- ok. Can't I just rent the movie Dirty Dancing?"

"Maybe as a graduation gift, but no the dancing in that movie is from the 80's. The dance now is more modern. Don't worry I won't hurt you."

"Hurting is not what I fear from you."

"Look Grissom you paid for 15 lap dances. You know I have what you need. We won't discuss this with anyone and you can come over after shift's end."

"What will Lindsay say?"

Catherine was loving this. She had never seen a man squirm so much in her life. He was looking for reasons, but he wasn't going to get the satisfaction.

"Well she's with my sister for another week but I can fix that. She's been dying to stay with her cousins for the summer, and Patty would love it if I let her."

"I can't take you away from your daughter for 3 months to satisfy my needs." He looked alarmed.

"It's not a problem, she lives an hour away. I can go see her on my days off. This is important to me. Hell it's important to the lab. Because if we don't fix this, you and Sara will never quit skulking around."

"Ok ok, I am out of excuses. When do we start?"

"Well I have to be to work in an hour, so you go home and sleep, then come over after shift tomorrow. We can do this on Thursday since I'm off Wednesday's and Thursday's."

"See you later then, thanks for breakfast."

The next evening was harder than Grissom thought it would be. He assigned Sara to work a case with him. Greg and Sofia went to another. His way of thinking was that maybe he could help her understand why he pulled away. Sara was totally cut off from him. She was straight business, only discussed the case details with him. She wouldn't look at him at all unless it was required. At this point he'd rather have worked with Ecklie. The night ended and when he went to say goodbye to her, she wrapped her arms through Greg's and they left together.

Grissom knocked on Catherine's door a short time later. She was dressed in tight spandex shorts and a low-cut white tank top.

"You ready to move them hips?"

"Yeah I guess, remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Uh to win the heart of Sara Sidle. To give Catherine your best friend a break from drama central?"

"Oh you mean the same Sara that spent the night ignoring me? The one who looked exceptionally great tonight but moved when I got near her like I was Poe's recreation of the plague? That Sara?"

"Uh yeah..ok then. First, I want you to go into my room and change clothes. I picked you up some stuff for our sessions."

"This doesn't involve leotards and a leopard thong does it?"

"Hmm tempting but no. Just go change, I'll be right here."

He emerged from the bedroom a short time later. Surprisingly he made Catherine's heart beat faster. He was in loose fitting black parachute pants, with a tight black tank top. Black wristbands adorned his wrists. She had to give herself credit, he looked ten years younger and ten times stronger. He was more defined in the muscle area then she had expected.

"You look great!"

"I feel naked."

"Ah the first act of this dance is freedom. You can't feel free covered in layers of shirts."

"If you say so. Now what?" His patience and nervousness were growing.

"Ok as I said this requires trust. We make an agreement that you and I are partners. What we do here, stays here. I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you Catherine."

"I don't mean in the respect that I will hurt you. I mean in the respect that our touching will at times be quite erotic. I've been dancing for more years than I can remember. Putting your hands on me and vice versa is an expression of the dance."

"I respect that and you. I agree to your rules."

"All right now, the first part is an exercise. It's designed to take you way out of your comfort level so that during the dance you will feel comfortable. Remember the way we dance here will be the way you dance with Sara later. Now do you trust me?"

"Yes Catherine. There's no one else I trust more."

"Ok, then I want you to touch me. Start with the top of my head. Feel everything, and slowly work your way to my toes. You need to feel every inch. Remember Grissom in doing this, I also have to trust you."

"That would mean that I touch-"

"I know. I promise it's all right. Just keep your focus on my eyes. Talk to me, tell me what you feel." Geez, Catherine thought to herself, how was Sara going to get him naked when he couldn't do a simple exercise?

He was scared beyond anything he could imagine but he knew Catherine wanted to help. He wanted this for Sara. Before he knew it, his hands were on her hair.

"Your hair is soft, and clean. It's not soft like down but a natural wind softness."

"That's beautiful go on."

"Your ears are not too petite but do not stick out. One earring very dainty. The skin that leads to your face is soft also. You have a small furrow to your brow. Your eyebrows hardly there. The green in your eyes reflect mine, small pupils."

"I bet your poetry in school wowed the teachers."

"Well I had to get good grades somehow. I hated writing and history."

"Ok back to work, Mr. Frost."

"Your nose has a tiny little point to it. Not noticeable but a treasured feature. The curve of your lips forms perfectly. Your lips nicely shaded naturally."

"Good, feel them with yours."

"You want me to?" He had no idea what to do. Grissom trusted her but what if he couldn't control himself. The image of Sara was burning in his mind.

"Trust Grissom trust."

He wasn't sure about this but he found her allure more compelling than he realized. Gently he closed his eyes, his mouth tenderly covering hers. The feel was different from Sara's, thinner but wider. He realized that she wasn't kissing him back so he pulled away.

"That was curious. I haven't kissed a woman that didn't well you know?"

"Kiss back? Oh granted I could have but this is self-exploration and comfort changes. This is about getting beyond a sexual feeling to explore the inner emotion. If I had turned it erotically, then every time we got close, sparks would fly and the dance turns passionate romantically not artfully."

"All right. I understand. I'm ready."

He stroked the underside of her jaw, down her neck, and to her upper chest. His poetic lines following his hands. When he reached her breasts, he didn't hesitate. He treated them like her ears and face. A gentle flush crawling on his neck.

"Tender yet strong. They are rounded and sit where they are supposed to. You carry them well."

"Very good, ok moving on. By the way, you have nice hands, but we will get to that when it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"Yes we're partners. We share equally."

He could feel a flush creep over his skin. His hands continued on their journey. Every touch a new experience and a different way to describe it. Catherine was used to this experience and felt perfectly at ease with Grissom. Then he got to her inner thighs and what he said made her blush.

"The heat you radiate from your inner most core, calls men of the largest sizes to penetrate it. It is here that you dwell with your inner most desires. A tender spot some have entered but all have dreamed of."

It was the most erotic thing she had ever heard, but it was also the most beautiful. Grissom was a man of deep passions and she wanted to open that up. One thing she knew about Sara was that she was deeply but openly passionate. When you put two flames that hot together, sparks would fly eternally.

He continued down to her toes and finally after complimenting her blue sparkle nail polish, he rose to his feet.

"You did perfectly, and I can tell that you have nothing but respect and admiration for the female form. Now I want you to hold still as I begin my journey. I warn you, I am not as beautifully poetic as you, so this may go a little quicker."

"All right but be gentle Catherine."

"Trust me."

She did as he had done, starting with the top of his head.

"I've always wanted to play with your curls. Have you always had them?"

"Yes my mother said my curls were a sign of ferility, that I was going to make her lots of grandchildren. You can see how far I got with that one."

"Mmm ok. Your ears are a nice size, not too big or small. I like the creases of your brow and near your eyes. It's experience and wisdom. The beard that goes around your mouth and down on your chin is very soft. Not at all scratchy like most. Your lips are soft and nicely rounded. Your neck is strong-"

"Wait, why is it that you didn't explore my lips like you made me do?"

She couldn't hide her amusement. He playfully grabbed her wrist.

"You said it was part of the learning." He moved forward, boldly challenging her.

"Nah, it's just I wanted to know what kind of magic you had there. It was just a joke."

"Equal is equal Catherine."

She began to laugh, but the next thing she knew his lips were once again on hers, exploring, tasting. It wasn't the shy little kiss from before. She mistakenly opened her mouth to his, and his tongue quickly followed. Catherine had never known a man so passionate and so restrained. He clung to her tightly, his kissing getting more and more intense. She wasn't sure where this road was leading. What did she expect? Meanwhile Grissom closed his eyes and pictured Sara. It wasn't hard to get carried away.

"Gil, what are you, what are we doing?"

"Research I thought."

"You're full of surprises. But we have to quit this now or you and I are going straight back to that cold and lonely bed of mine."

"What are we waiting for then, let me help you warm it up."

"Grissom what are you saying? It's me you're talking to. We've both been lonely for so long but what about Sara?"

"I don't care about her tonight. I love Sara, I want her more than my own life, but I need you to tell me that I am still right for her. I need you to teach me and learn from me. You are my best friend Catherine. I love you, you know I do. You are the only one I trust to do this with."

"Wow, what happened to the shy Grissom who blushed at the mention of touch me? "

"I'm scared Catherine, look Sara is a lot younger than me. I know my talents in those areas but what if she wants more? I have to know I can still be there for her on all levels. You can say no. You can always say stop Catherine. But you are beautiful and I don't know if I can ever be this brave again."

"Maybe I'm crazy maybe I'm just lonely but we'll still be us tomorrow. No strings."

"No strings Catherine. Teacher and student. We'll figure out who's who later."

He took her hand and led her to her room.

Grissom had just fallen asleep when his cell rang. After a nice evening with Catherine, Grissom needed sleep in his own bed.

grumble "Grissom"

"Yo Griss damn I forgot you work graveyard."

"I'm used to getting very little sleep, Disco, what's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were coming Saturday night."

"Hadn't planned on it."

"Ah come on man, I'm trying out these new lights and I need some eyes at top level. Sara's going to work the floor for me."

That's all it took for him, and Disco knew he had said the magic word.

"All right I guess I owe you one. I'll be there at 8."

"Jive, peace out Griss."

He wondered what she would be doing. He hoped she would sing. His last thought as he floated into REM was that of her swaying in his arms.